Wonkette
Reliable New York Times reporter Bill Kristol tells Fox News that once-popular Republican Colin Powell will endorse Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee, and might even be giving a speech at the DNC or introducing Obama at the Stadium Concert with the Decemberists or who knows! Very exciting, we guess? Colin Powell is famous for being a black Republican warlord who “sold” the UN on the 2003 Iraq invasion, which has been the biggest debacle in American History. OBVIOUS UPDATE: Ha ha, fucking Bill Kristol. "I do not have time to waste on Bill Kristol’s musings,” Powell told ABC News. “I am not going to the convention. I have made this clear." [Fox News]
ENDORSEMENTS
Colin Powell Endorsing Obama, at DNC … According To Bill Kristol
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Colin Powell is in fact a Mobile Facility for the Production of Biological Agents.
Shit if the fucker sold that, um , SO WELL to the U.N., you know he’s gonna pull through for Barry Hussein.
No shit, I had a dream last night that Obama picked him as his running mate. Of course, in my dream, they then started making out…
Ooh, we see your Lieberman and we raise you a Powell.
Hey, at least Colin has won a war before.
…we may have to reinstate his negro card. I will discuss this with the Black Power Council.
Black Republicans can resist Barry’s charms. Even Don King has a boner for him.
I always felt sorry for this dude that was used to sell the iraq war.
The Repukes knew that if it came from his mouth, America was sold.
At least he had the decency to realize that he was USED like a $2 ho and decided to leave before shit hit the fan!
I’d like to believe it’s true, but since Kristol is wrong about literally everything…
If Billy said it then it must be true.
[goes to his intrade account and bets everything on Powell endorsing Bob Barr]
AngryBlakGuy: LMAO..
AngryBlakGuy: I KNEW IT!
Spence: I’ve said for a long time that Powell is the only slam dunk VP choice Obama can make. There are almost literally no negatives I can think of, other than a few of the Hillary crazies freaking out that he’s not a woman, and some racists who wouldn’t vote Dem anyway flipping out because two black dudes are on the ticket. But he’s got foreign policy credentials in spades, he’s actually respected by other countries, he has never really said anything controversial about domestic issues, and the media loves him.
So, of course, we’ll go with Evan Bayh or some other tool.
Jobbotch: I would say that 1 Colin Powell is worth like 500 million Joe Liebermans, but interestingly enough, the more Liebermans you have, the lesser the value. Joe Lieberman is worth like $10 Zimbabwean dollars. Maybe that’s more accurate.
NoWireHangers: can = CAN’T
Bill Kristol should know - he and Colon are tight, real tight. I think Colon volunteers as a homecare aide to old man Irving, Bill’s wizened father, at the Kristol-Himmelfarb compound in rural Kerhonkson, NY.
You know, he spoons soup into the old man’s drooling mouth, dabs away spittle, wipes his ass and massages his feet.
Times have been hard for Colon since that vial of anthrax turned out to be cocaine from the car used by Mrs Shrub to run over one of her husband’s gay lovers, back in Texas.
AngryBlakGuy: Right, wasn’t he an official handkerchief head? SB is back with increasing regularity.
What a buncha buffulo chips, Fox just used that to mention the Rev again..
Dave J.: Yeah, but you’re forgetting — “some racists” is like a quarter of the country.
Karl Rove’s retort: “If Colin Powell bought all the lies we fed him, how do you know he’s not being suckered by the Obama people? The man can’t be trusted to discern the truth.”
Dave J.: I don’t know. I have a feeling that having two black guys on the ticket tips the scales for more Dems than you’d like to believe.
We’re all racists is what I’m saying.
From TPM:
“Not so, says Powell’s spokesperson, Peggy Cifrino.
‘There’s no truth to it, no substance to it,’ Cifrino tells me. ‘I have no idea why Bill Kristol would be making this statement. There is no imminent endorsement.’
Cifrino also said that he won’t be at the GOP convention, either: ‘He will not be at either convention,’ she said.”
if you’re gonna nominate somebody who can’t run in 8 years, might as well be a neutered republican like colin. but with the story coming from a navel-gazer so inept that when he stares down all he can see is his own kristol ball, no way it can be true. no, i don’t want some eagleton figure (he was a labor hack before he was an example of american ostracisim of mental health care recipients) reconcile-with-the-middle tool (thanks dave j.) like bayh or biden. i keep hoping for a woman governor like sibelius or napolitano. part of the rethugs’ problem this year has been the vice-presidential inability to run and praise the incumbent administration. dems ought to want a veep who can run in 2016. makes for stability and better politics. powell ain’t it.
freakishlystrong: I noticed that too. If there’s one thing Republicans love it’s Colin Powell. He’s always been their, “see, we’re not racist” card in the back pocket. But once Colin endorsed Barry, they threw the first stone they could find.
Slutty_Chola_Cobbler: Powell’s big failing was his life’s training — following the orders of his Commander. Has he learned his lesson? Is there Hope?
Advocatus_Diaboli: Why is Bill Kristol such a tease? Bastard!
Dave J.: yeah, except for that whole shilling for the Neocons thing to get us involved in this completely successful and totally kickass Vietraq war.
I’m not really sure this endorsement helps all that much other than to shore up some foreign policy cred.
If anyone takes anything William Kristol writes or says seriously, I want you to kick her in the nuts.
TAKING BILL KRISTOL SERIOUSLY = DESTROY ALL TESTICLES.
Thank you
NoWireHangers: I’m surpised they can fit a card in their back pockets, considering everything thing else that gets jammed in there…
This would have been so interesting…
Whatever Billy Kristol says = The complete opposite. Any kindergarten student knows this.
Powell will now endorse Cynthia McKinney, just to piss off Kristol (and prevent the massive tear in the space/time continuum that would result from a Kristol prediction actually happening)
I was listening to a WBUR(Boston Public Radio) podcast two weeks ago. The topic was Barry’s foreign trip and Lawrence Wilkerson was one of the featured guests. Wilkerson was firmly on Barry’s side on Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and the Middle East in general. He sounded like a campaign surrogate.
tunamelt: I agree, but remember Kristol’s default setting is “Lie”..
AngryBlakGuy: I haven’t been getting my Black Power Council memos. I’m assuming they’re getting lost in the mail? I apologize for the whole dancing on cue or letting white girls touch my hair, thing. I’ll stop.
Powell for Veep would make it a little less likely that some redneck would try to whack Barry.
slangwhanger-in-chief: I’d love to see Sibelius as well. Right now I’m pretty much in the “Jesus Christ, anybody but fucking Sam Nunn” camp.
You could probably paypowell to endorse a fucking Burger King.
This covers the people who look like James Earl Jones demographic.
american mutt: …we will be having our next meeting at Churches Chicken if you would like to attend. All attendees are encouraged to bring their own 40’s though.
The interesting thing about this endorsement is that if the republicans try to attack him, they might accidentally make fun of him for lying for the administration. Then you know… we can like impeach or… I don’t know. Sigh in deep despair?
Didn’t Powell sell out when he went to the UN with “evidence” even he thought was bullshit (according to Woodward)? Sure he’s likeable and admirable but asshortsshortsshorts: says, he gave it all away. Plus: Jamaica? How many Island People can one ticket bear?
shortsshortsshorts: AngryBlakGuy: Didn’t this all already happen in “Undercover Brother”?
WadISay: Maybe, but Chuck D would be way better suited for that role. Oddly enough, so would Carrot Top. And with Alan Keyes on the ticket, Hopey could stroll naked into a Klan rally singing “KKK Bitch” and fear no bodily harm whatsoever.
freakishlystrong: I know. But imagine living in a world where everything Bill Kristol said was right.
AngryBlakGuy: I’ll be there with a grape Swisher Sweet tucked behind my ear.
tunamelt: No. Don’t imagine it. I’m on crack and can’t even read what I write anymore.
AngryBlakGuy: Is Cap’n Justin “Bootyplunder” Schaffer invited?
An Obama/Powell ticket? Hmmm. Is America ready to go that black? Suits me. But it would force McCain to play the Doomsday option and pick Cheney for VP …..yes, again. I know. “Luke, I am your father.” Or maybe Johnny would pick Condi Rice and then he’d have to pick up a little bling-bling and the entire campaign would turn into one long episode of Soul Train.
RuperttheBear:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AZKqrfi4jM
Mr. Herpes: Soul Train? I wish.
It’s going to be Richardson, hands-down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAh0q8CegVM&feature=related
Watch from 2:30 on to see why
The Gawker thread on this had this interesting quote/observation:
“Colin Powell was the Adlai Stevenson of the Republican era. The tragedy of Stevenson was that he died before he could make up for the unfortunate last act of supporting the war in Vietnam which many old supporters felt he surely must have opposed in his heart of hearts. Powell has the chance to overcome that moment of shame when he went to the United Nations and mouthed Dick Cheney’s lies. I wish him well with it. I think he’s a more decent human being than most of those who populated the Bush administration.”
Once again I’ve been tricked by Bill Kristol.
When will I ever learn?
Once again Obama proves his double reverse racism for allowing himself to maybe be endorsed by a black guy. Imagine if Powell was Obama’s running mate? That would be so offensively racist that we would have no choice buy to lynch them both and burn down Rev Wright’s church.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Way to harsh a buzz. Now I know why you are teh Diaboli….
I can see the movie now: Morgan Freeman as Colin Powell, Robert Downey Jr. as Barack Obama - and Billy Crystal as Billy Kristol.
Having two black men on the ticket overturns the longstanding tradition of having two white men on the ticket–except for that time when the woman lost and then turned out to be a racist.
Hopey don’t need no fuckin’ veep’s!
…. and barry needs an uncle tom war criminal on the ticket why, again ?
Dave J.: …and he’s a war-mongering prick. Yup. Shoo-in.
AngryBlakGuy: I always thought that the black people liking fried chicken was a bit overblown, but im spending a semester in South Africa and there are KFC’s all over the place along with some local chicken joint chains.