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Is he yawning, vomiting, or drinking in his own delicious smell?Oooh, it’s TROUBLING NEWS on the McCain front. Despite every conceivable advantage in news coverage this week, he has steadfastly refused to budge from his squatting position at the bottom of the polls. Why hasn’t John McCain capitalized on the many blessings showered on him by the press, and Fate? And what does this say about his ability to lead?

It is a Proven Fact that God and newspapers want John McCain to win. Witness the following recent developments:

  • Barack Obama goes on vacation at an exotic third-world elitist resort in the Phillippines to hang out with his Muslim grandmother and watch the Batman movie, which is all about the secret awesomeness of George Bush. With Obama off the national stage, McCain is free to show that he would never abandon America by going on vacation in August.
  • Russia invades Georgia, a close U.S. ally, giving John McCain the opening to spout more Tuff Guy crap about how Russia better back off even though America can do exactly nothing about any of this. But who cares, because Americans love it when their leaders shake their fists threateningly at hostile global rivals.
  • George Bush shows up drunk at the Olympics, which somehow should also benefit John McCain.

And yet!!!! John McCain remains 4.6 points behind Barack Obama in the Real Clear Politics poll average. Conclusion: John McCain has a problem with white working-class voters.

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