Wonkette
- Russia declared a cease-fire in Georgia, but Russian troops are still deep in the country and who knows if or when they’ll leave. [Daily Telegraph]
- Freakishly long-waisted swimmer Michael Phelps won another gold medal at the Olympics, bringing his career haul to nine. [Reuters]
- The Justice Department would like to move Ted Stevens’ trial to Washington DC, as Stevens is basically a resident there, and has already tainted the jury pool in his native Alaska. [The Hill]
- A lot of suburban Republicans who voted for Bush when gas prices and houses were cheap are now going to vote for Democrats. [Los Angeles Times]
- Tech blogger Robert Scoble has a bunch of pictures of Rielle Hunter on John Edwards’ presidential campaign announcement tour in late December of 2006. Edwards had an affair with a woman who wore A FREAKING JESTER HAT. [Washington Post]
- Ron Paul’s wife was in the hospital yesterday “in serious but stable condition.” Get well soon, Mrs. Paul! [Houston Chronicle]
Suburban Republicans are…FLIP-FLOPPERS!
This whole war between Jorga and Roosha was started by NeoCon prodding apparently. Yeah a nation whose tiny military is designed for internal security taking on the Rooshin Army, one of the tougher armies of the world and a proponent of the combined arms doctrine. Uh huh. You know, for a bunch of dickless fatassed dweebs enamored with the concept of armed conflict, the NeoCons really truly suck at it. Makes Napoleon III look like Alexander the Great.
Michael Phelps is too long-waisted to be representing real Americans at the Olympics. I bet he’s actually representing some foreign exotic place that doesn’t actually exist, like Hawaii.
yeah, ok…so russia is pasting some little country. what else is new?
but…john edwards…
just once i’d like to see a picture of a woman that one of these dickwad
politicians is fukking on the side and think…
holy freakin’ crist…what a babe!…i’d do her laundry and grocery shopping
just to be around her. what a raving beauty…i understand completely.
just once.
Cheryl Bernales, a 29-year-old economics teacher who voted for Bush in 2000 and 2004, said that she could face a pay cut “because the economy’s so bad,”
Yet another fine example of our public school system.
Micheal Phelps doesn’t have a face that Madison Avenue wants. Maybe a face to sponser the Special Olympics.
ManchuCandidate: They’re enamored of it BECAUSE they suck at it. They are so delusional that they *think* they’re brilliant strategists when in fact they have been wrong about, oh, let’s see, everything ever. If a neocon says it, you can bet that it’s not true.
OK, I’ll be the one to say what we’re all thinking: Donna Rice was so much hotter than Rielle Hunter.
Serolf Divad: They ought to make a trailer trash pin up calendar for these guys.
BTW, guys, as Reagan proved when he invaded Grenada and G.W. Bush proved when he invaded Panama: superpowers are allowed to invade pissant little “sovereign” nationlets any time they like for whatever the fuck reason they want and that’s just the way it is. All this “Oooh, aaah look at those nasty old Russians picking on a tiny defenseless neighbor” hoo ha is just wasted breath.
Serolf Divad: Yeah, but for all the mileage on Lisa Druck, she can still fill out a pair of jeans.
Re: jester hat.
Dude… handles. ’nuff said.
Is there an “Urban Republican” we don’t know about?? What was the need for the classification there?
Dramatist: Michael Phelps also has Size 14 feet and flexible ankles, which are veritable human fins, and he can withstand long periods underwater, so he could be representing a human specimen from a future globally warmed water world.
And by crazy random happenstance, another American also present in the Watercube yesterday provided an atavistic reminder of another aquatic creature of the past, one we evolved from: duckfaced, unable to walk like a human, with scarred arms that were unused to human motion. This duck has been featured in history books as wearing a uniform but no pants.
And what a priceless photo-op when they met: aquaman of the future meets prehistoric duck-ape.
I wonder if she wore the jester hat when they…you know.
Larry Fine: He one-upped Madison Avenue by going on a few Asian tours; he’s one of the most recognized and sponsor-worthy faces in China and Japan…oh wait…his feet maybe are more famous. And wing span. Naaah. Actually he’s well-liked. The 1 out of 300 million Americans who actually is. (please don’t blow it, Michael….)
magic titty: Suburban Republicans as opposed to the Rural, ethanol subsidy variety.
Darehead: Ummm… McLame was in China?
Darehead: Well. ya know, he already has a DUI in Maryland………
magic titty: ru9y gu11iani is THE urban Republican. The only one in existence.
Better a jester hat than a beret. What is it with Democrats and crappy hats? If I start wearing a wizard hat, will a Democrat presidential hopeful grope me too?
valobama: Asians don’t know that! I just hope he passes his pee-test for the Olympics. Why do they always report those 2 years later anyway?
Hmmmm, and now that you mention it, mehbe Bush is evolving into McLame.
>> Moscow’s actions had “substantially damaged Russia’s standing in the world,” Mr Bush said.
Ha ha. Where to begin.
Rielle Hunter is a dire one-woman morality tale: you spend your youth partying hearty for a decade, do every drug known to medicine and screw everything that walks, crawls or grows in a garden, and by age 44 you end up…looking pretty OK.
Darehead: Hmmm. Long waisted, AND size 14 feet…I proudly volunteer myself to bear the elongated spawn of Aquaman, and help dilute the short-fingered-vulgarian gene pool that has apparently overtaken your once great country. What’s a little waist-to-hip ratio between friends?
Guppy06: Those are Subhuman Republicans, no?
mookworthjwilson: Did you know America’s Mayor he smells just like police batons and the Baby Jesus? Yup…
wheelie: We, by virture of Duckface, have lost all credibility in the world..
She can get away with wearing a hat like that because everyone would be looking at her ass. Which makes sense. If I hadn’t been directed to look at it, I probably wouldn’t have noticed her hat.
Rielle’s hairdo weirded me out at first, but it’s grown on me. That’s the benefit of the 24-hour news cycle, I suppose.
magic titty: There are three types of Rebublicans:
1. The rural, gun-totin’, tooth-missin’, pickup-drivin’, ethanol-subsidy types
2. The suburban, climate-controlled, SUV-driving, baby-making, magnetic-ribbon-sporting types
3. The urban, Mercedes-driving, slicked-back hair, pinstripe-suit wearing corporate asshole types
Type one favors candidates such as Jesse Helms and Big John Cornyn. Type two brings you your Tom Delays and most of your closet gays (with help from the type-ones). Type three is Mitt Romney and similar clones.
(Tomorrow, we will delve into the three types of Democrats - hippies, blacks and bitters)
Darehead: and we are talking abs here, folks. Insane abs.
http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-08/41550538.jpg
http://www.cantonrep.com/photos/2008/08/m_11mweb0811_OLYphelps.jpg
though I do think they need to check for gills. He is not swimming like a human being.
magic titty: And those police batons? They smell like Hatian asshole.
LucyHoneychrrch: No…Paultards will.
Elitist Republican Tard: But don’t you see, these “3″ types will all use bits and pieces of the ‘other’ two parts when necessary to form their worldview, rhetoric, and general dickishness.
I still believe there is only one type of Republican - those variations are usable bullet points when caught in a jam. Or election.
As for Democrats, you’re very correct. But never forget ‘The Jew’.
Doglessliberal: Those are gills.
Elitist Republican Tard: I count four types of Dems: VW Microbus, limousine, clapped-out pickup, and pimpmobile.
magic titty: I don’t know, they’re pretty different. Can you imagine Mitt Romney at a Friday-night dirt track race?
And, I must also add to the democrat types the elitists. Someone’s gotta donate to those NPR campaigns right?
So, the dems have hippies, blacks, bitters, The Jews, and elitists.
Repug’s have rednecks, exurbinites, and fat cats.
Ron Paul takes the loonies, crazies and morons.
Ralph Nader . . . um, yea nobody likes Ralph Nader.
WadISay: How bout Prius?
Elitist Republican Tard:
Tomorrow, we will delve into the three types of Democrats - hippies, blacks and bitters
Where do college professors fit into this schema?
WadISay: Dude, you forgot Prius.
Do the Pauls use their own health insurance, or are they using the congressional health plan?
Rielle Hunter is the anti-hot, which, come to think of it, is a good way to camoflage your mistress. I’m still waiting for pics of the biker chick cleavage queen the Canookie one mentioned in a previous thread. Alas, an image search on Google of ‘biker chick cleavage’ doesn’t turn up any scandals in Canada, instructive though it was.
Elitist Republican Tard: If Mitt was the Repub nominee, he’d damn sure be swilling mash liquor in an Alabammmi outhouse as we speak. Trust me.
Sad but true fact: rednecks and fat cats win elections. I’m now morbidly depressed.
mookworthjwilson: Walter Sobchak: Agreed. Maybe low rider, too. Six. Six types of Democrats.
Elitist Republican Tard: All of you forgot da fundies!!! Allow your resident theologian to explain it:
McCain’s fundies put the “fun” in fundamentalist cuz they like their sinnin’.
Ron Paul’s fundies put the “mental” in fundamentalist, which needs no explanation.
And they are both joined by “DA”!
Darehead:
Yup, the fundies are the GOP’s secret weapon: glassy eyed know-nothings raised on the Book of Job and theBook of John (revelations) to believe that you’ve got to stick the the GOP no matter how badly they fuck you, and the more their candidate destabilizes the Middle East the closer Jesus is to coming back!
Serolf Divad: Exactly, which explains all the Obama-lovin’ McCain ads showing Barry as the Anti-Christ.
We’re all used to those types, however, and tho’ they are loyal to the GOP, they hate McCain. So IMHO, the revolutionary “defectors,” the Paultard/Constitution Party fundies, are the “Gold Standard” winners of the Lunatic Olympics this year. …truly mental.
WadISay: Bicycle/Light Rail?
Serolf Divad: I think college professors are a hybrid bitter/hippie
I’m still trying to figure out how that American Apparel “Lucky Pierre” ad targets the Wonkette demographic.
tsunami: Whats new is the little country started it! Oh my, you silly, silly little Georgians… so young, so naive. Just because we said we liked you doesnt mean we’re going to fight for you. Mind you, we hear you may be in the market for some new guns and shit, special offer, right this way my Georgian friend.
WadISay: TGY: tsunami: Agreed that political paramours are often a visual disappointment. But you can’t know what that other emoluments* might be like.
*Blow jobs
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez:
Is that a young Charlie Crist?
Those web videos would have been a lot better if she had figured out that you point the lens TOWARDS the person you’re shooting.
Seriously, though, I hope Mrs. Ron Paul gets better quickly so she can get back to making those delicious fish sticks.
rev_matt_y: Neocons don’t lie all the time. Often they are just wrong–as in stupid. Then they lie in an attempt to cover that up, so maybe they do lie all the time.
Whatever the case they are all feral, subhuman mouthbreathers. The world would be a better place if none of them had lived past childhood.
4tehlulz: I was wondering if God-Doctor Paul was on collectivist insurance as well.