Wonkette
Homosexual Florida Governor Charlie Crist is getting married, to a woman, so he can be a real, live National Politician. And over the weekend, he announced that he and his “bride” have set a date! It’s December 12, a full 38 days after the election. In other words, they don’t have to plan shit unless he somehow wins as John McCain’s vice president, in which case they’ll actually have to go through with the awful stunt. [Orlando Sentinel]
Save up your poppers and lube, that’s gonna be a hell of a bachelor’s party!
No wait, California’s vote on Proposition 8 is scheduled for November 4th. I’m confused!?!??!
Oh, and he’s even got a fiancee too — teh gays think of everything!
http://media.tbo.com/photos/trib/2008/april/041308sarasotafilmfestival.jpg
What are the odds of this wedding happening if Crist isn’t made the VP candidate? And what are the odds that this’ll be just as much fun as the Liza Minelli/David Gest wedding?
My heartfelt congratulations to the happy couple. I’m sure she’ll make a lovely beard, er, bride.
Living in California and reading this makes me wish we could have a governor with a high level of homoerotic appeal….oh, yeah. I was still thinking it was Grey Davis.
Yes, Jim, sometimes a marriage can be an “awful stunt”… if you are a republican.
The wedding will be at the First United Methodist Church, where Crist attended services when he was growing up
The Methodist church predates Jebus? (and, by extension, the dinosaurs)
Some Fundies think the rapture will be 12/12/12, so they’ll have a memorable 4th anniversary.
Is his lucky fiancée the one on the left or right, or both?
larry craig is going to be his “best man.”
i’m sorry…i just couldn’t help myself.
besides, somebody had to get the larry craig reference out of the way.
Cash up front and no refunds.
Will the reception be a PIG ROAST!?
I bet they’re already trying to come up with “we grew apart” excuses. Or the bride is going to pull a Jennifer Wilbanks run-away-bride stunt.
But where have the registered and what do their selections tell us?
Insert Ted Haggard joke here:
Two Wedding Dresses.
Spence: I imagine more novelty penises than most bachelorette parties…popsicles, party hats, drinking straws. Although, I bet there will be quite a few NON-novelty penises as well.
I wonder what Ms. Rome is getting out of this. All of the preening gay men she can stand? She will be the best dressed/groomed woman in America!
He looks like that white-haired guy in MadMen, and Desperate Housewives and Sex&theCity, you know, the one who always plays the middle aged sleazy politician/business tycoon.
Hmph. She even looks like a chick. Not at all like Senator Craig’s, uh, “wife”…
Still, I’m sure he’ll be visualizing the happy times shown in the pic above when he was known among the girls in the frat house as ‘Lucky Pierre’…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lucky+pierre
Married life will be easy for him just as long as she is willing to sleep on her stomach and bite the pillow. He will never know the difference.
SayItWithWookies: He has to be the nelliest governor in history in that picture. I’m sending his-and-hers bronzers as a gift.
Dr Tobias Funke Analrapist said it best about Charlie Crist and making love on his sweet woman:
“When a man needs to prove to a woman that he’s actually.. When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, um, to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec…”
Godless Liberal *: Oh, He’d know….
Wouldn’t it be great to have a VP who’s down with the Housewives of New York? The Mrs.-to-be runs in that Hampton’s crowd. Her home goes by the name Chateau Rome. What an elitist celebrity.
This calls for the “Dina McGreevey” warning.
ALERT: CHARLIE CRIST IS GAY.
Now, in six months when Carole Rome says “I had no idea he liked dick” I can shoot her with a flare gun. SHE HAS BEEN WARNED.
Godless Liberal *: Clearly you’ve never fucked a tight, firm fratboy butt. It’s a long way from squishy girl flesh. Of course, now that I think about it, Charlie’s probably not used to doing the fucking so he might not be the best judge… you could be on to something. They may need to go to TGI Friday’s with one of his staffers first though.
Doesn’t she own a Halloween costume company in New York? Maybe she sees this whole thing as a form of cross-branding.
Maybe Charlie is a closet-straight?
Some people are so cynical. I hope he and Star Jones have a very happy marriage.
There will be a lot of guys sobbing their eyes out on the groom’s side of the aisle.
Gopherit v2.0: That is probably the only viable explanation. He’s been non-admittedly but quite obviously taking it from behind for quite a long time now.
Darehead: Is his lucky fiancée the one on the left or right, or both?
If it’s the one on the right, Golf Digest is gonna have a once-in-a-lifetime headline for its cover: “Young John Daly to Marry Florida Governor!”
Dead Carole Rome (if that is your real name)
Get a clue. The bride’s maids are all men, he’s booked the Village People, he personally arranged all the flowers,the bachelor party featured Chippendales and his parents start crying every time they meet you.
MG
Is it me, or does he look like a poor man’s Mr. Blackwell? Who, by the way, is expected to join Estelle Getty any moment now.
…so which one is going to where the wedding dress?
…I have a feeling that when he realizes that the term “ball & chain” has nothing to do with anal beads he will call it off.
Charlie Crist says “When in Rome, try not to throw up.”
AngryBlakGuy: Winner.
You know, when I worked for this very PC-company back in the day, we had to make up our own language. You couldn’t be heard asking, “is that dude gay?” (though, as The Seinfeld reminds us, “not that there’s anything wrong with that”). Anyways, the best we could do was “Canadian”, ie….
“Is he Canadian?”
“Hell, yeah. Total Canuck”.
Once management cottoned on, we had to get more obscure: “Hockey fan?” etc.
So Charlie Crist, you big-ole Maple-leaf loving, Montreal-born, ex-Mountie, Pierre-Trudeau look-a-like, Michael J. Fox fan club member, howsabout we raise a couple of cans of Labatts in celebration of your happy nuptials…etc etc.
In the photo, Charlie has a mouth-stache. Can we see a photo of him sporting his new beard?
BTW: I’m unsure of the arcane laws in southern states. If a white-skinned woman marries an orange-skinned man, is it still considered miscegenation?
Not_So_Much: interesting, ive never heard the term ‘lucky pierre’ before…..
unfortunately, i now cant help noticing how much the guy in the American Apparel ad looks an awful lot like young Charlie Crist…..
Why would anyone have a threesome with that dude from American Apparel?
randomsausage: You’re right about the Mountie part. Aside from the having been “mounted” part, Charlie meets the other key requirement: the Mounties always “get” their man. And Charlie “got” many, many men.
Reminds me of an omni-present TV spot from my childhood [shared with McCain, apparently]. It was an ad for Starkist Tuna in which a haughty faux-sophisto tuna named Charlie was advised “Sorry, Charlie, but Starkist wants tuna that tastes good, not tuna with good taste.” Poor Carole has that equation exactly bass-ackwards.
Mr Blifil: My daughter tells me that the owner of American Apparel entices all these youngsters to his hone where he photographs them.
I agree with you that this current photo is a lot like a lettuce sandwich.
In other news, my day was just made by picture 10 (http://www.orlandosentinel.com/broadband/orl-photosoftheday-pg,0,2835583.photogallery). God, how I love muscular, mostly naked Chinese men. Yay, Olympics! International fucking! Tell me again why I left that country?
A whole 38 days after amendment 2 gets voted on. I bet he’s glad Jeb got that 60 % requirement ratified back in ‘06!
Crist’s groomsmen are Barney Frank, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Harvey Fierstein, James McGreevey and George Takei.
Darehead: It’s 12/21/2012, so they can have a nice cruise, enjoy the anniversary, and get home just in time to get rested up for the apocalypse! Couldn’t have planned it better.
AnnieGetYourFun: I think it’s number 11. I was going to say something about #10 turning you on, but I’m afraid I horrified even myself.
Monsieur Grumpe:
Dear not Dead you moran. I guess this explains the troopers surrounding my house.
SayItWithWookies: Forget 10, look at 9! Our so-called “allies” in the war on terror in the Philippines are shelling MILF positions. When will the madness end?
Charlie Crist is currently at the Olympics. Loves Chinese food, especially Cream of Sum Yung Guy. Oh the old ones….are always the, erm….oldest.
Crist and Rome visited McCain’s Arizona ranch over Memorial Day weekend in what was widely perceived as a vice-presidential vetting trip.
So I wonder what exactly the two of them had to do for the “vetting.” And whether there’s video. (Not that I’d watch, mind you.)
Texan Bulldoggette: Yeah, irreconcilable differences: they both want to fuck men.