Oh good God. It is probably time for either Cokie Roberts or Wonkette to retire, now that we have said basically the same thing about Barack Obama’s elitist vacation to some place called “Hawaii,” which is located in the lower left-hand corner of the map right next to Alaska — and yet has burning hot summers, whereas Alaska is forever enshrouded in snow. Why won’t Barack Obama apologize for visiting his grandmother in this curious “Mystery Spot” where many Americans go on package tours? [YouTube]

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  1. Hawaii is a state full of brown people. Brown People States should be reduced to Filipino status, or at the very least Puerto Rico status. Meaning: places from which we import our cooks and nannies but do not have voting powers.

    This is the America Cokie Roberts can believe in.

  2. Like Cokie has ever been to Myrtle Beach….she’s got Hamptons written all over her. She’s also an extremely bitter & annoying HRC supporter (one would assume). She’s like Gerrie Ferraro, except Cokie’s filter between her brain & her mouth works a little better than old Gerrie’s does.

  3. Nice to have the Stripey Sox Buttseks Three back again this week, but I still miss Purple Butt Girl. Will she ever be coming back again?

  4. But honestly, does this surprise anyone? Massachusetts/New York/etc were the birthplace of the American Revolution, and the repubs have spent decades saying we hate America. Hawaii being in a different time zone is way too scary and furren for good, hard working Americans to handle.

  5. [re=56518]Norbert[/re]: Fuck that…he should take his vacation in a steel mill. His family can sun themselves in the sparks and can surf titanium sheets across waves of molten metal. Every meal will be a quadruple cheeseburger topped with Freedom Fries and an apple pie, washed down with Steel City Reserve beer, and all television watching will consist of NASCAR and rodeos.

  6. …I love how she admits that Barry’s grandmother lives there and Hawai is a state followed by a statement that is completely ignorant and false.

  7. I read somewhere that one time Hawaiian terrorists bombed some harbor in Myrtle Beach where we get our pearls and gave FDR the Polish clap. Maybe that’s what she’s alluding to.

  8. [re=56534]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: let it go. she needed her space, she thinks you guys would be better as friends, that mental rash should clear up with some ointment, etc. IT”S OVER. dammit

  9. …maybe he should have went to Sturgis and offered his heavily medicated bimbo wife up to thousands of meth crazed bikers who weren’t even there to see him in the first place. But I digress!

  10. [re=56529]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: actually, I think they went to the Vineyard and the Hamptons and stayed for free in their rich friends’ houses.

  11. Just because this never gets old:

    I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people – who have already suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred. I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world. I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused. In Hawaii, we have something called Ho’oponopono, where people come together to resolve crises and restore peace and balance.

    – Dog the Bounty Hunter

  12. [re=56538]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: do we have any steel mills left? maybe he should vacation as a walmart greeter. and this “Reserve” beer you suggest sounds a bit uppity — what’s wrong with plain ol’ regular Steel City? Your writing sounds Belgian, Toads.

  13. Give Hopey some Reposey Cokie-okie!

    McCain didn’t enter the race until after Hillary quit. Barry’s been hoppin’ like a bunny-battery for like 4-evah already!

    This isn’t WWII, when Pfc. Ira Hayes kept asking to see his mom on the Rez (in *Flags for our Fathers*)…good gravy, you can FLY to Hawaii now. ya know….?

  14. Meanwhile, Roberta McCain is spending August at her house in the south of France like she has every summer for decades. Nope, no elitists in that family.

  15. [re=56558]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Her parents were both congress critters from New Orleans. ‘nuf said.

    [re=56556]Darehead[/re]: When McCain was born not only could you not fly to Hawaii, but when you set sail from San Francisco you passed through a Golden Gate where the bridge hadn’t been built yet. He really is that old.

  16. [re=56550]Norbert[/re]: There are operating steel mills in the U S of A but their owners are in India and Russia as we careen even more rapidly into third world economic status.

  17. [re=56553]thefrontpage[/re]: She is just a humble, hard-working American who got where she is by dint of her own labor. I am sure the fact that her father was a senator, and then her mother took his seat after he died, had nothing to do with her getting her job and access to sources. I know she earned everything she has and never did anything elitist.

  18. [re=56550]Norbert[/re]: That’s true…steel mill workers actually make a living wage. Yes, Obama and his family should vacation in the Garden Department of a Wal-Mart in Dayton, Ohio.

  19. [re=56558]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: …she was named after what her mother was snorting during her pregnancy. Which explains her apparent brain damage.

  20. Don’t let ’em harsh yer mellow Cokie…BHO will be touching down on an aircraft carrier in Pearl Harbor before taking a scuba/windsurfing tour of the Arizona.

  21. [re=56553]thefrontpage[/re][re=56558]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: : This “Cokie” person is the daughter of famous corrupt Louisiana congressman (redundant, I know) Hale Boggs. If she gets any more work done on her face it’ll be indistinguishable from her hair, and she’ll begin to look like Max Headroom.

    [re=56538]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: Awesome!

  22. [re=56558]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: She got the moniker back in the heyday of Studio 54. The music was loud, the lines of blow were thick, she carried a golf ball and a hose with her at all times and that stick wasn’t jammed nearly so far up her ass.

  23. I had my first ever snarky comment all en-queued and the dang intertubes lost it!

    Something about touching down on an aircraft carrier in Pearl Harbor and a guided wind-surfing tour of the Arizona…

    It was pure snark.

  24. [re=56572]Doglessliberal[/re]: Hale Boggs was a congress-critter, not a senator. But that is indeed how Cokie got to be an NPR superstar. That’s how a meritocracy works, isn’t it? Her daddy was on the Warren Commission that investigated JFK’s assassination (along w/Jerry Ford, who was an FBI mole we now know), and you should have heard Cokie screech with indignation one Monday morning when someone hinted that the Commission was less than a choir of angels delivering God’s Righteous Truth.

  25. I went to Hawaii on vacation a year ago. Right after I got my rental, I was pulled over by a lesbian cop driving a bright yellow Kia Spectra.

  26. [re=56526]Norbert[/re]: We should start a clock counting the days, hours and minutes he hasn’t visited the troops.

    And when he’s visiting the troops, we will start a clock counting the days, hours and minutes he is spending away from America, the country he hates.

  27. I understand that his “quote unquote” grandmother, if that is her real name, lives there, as well as his sister and other family members, and that it is a “quote unquote” STATE (but we all know it was just a pity statehood) where he was BORN and ATTENDED HIGH SCHOOL and is the closest thing to a permanent home base that this man the press wants to paint as totally rootless has, but I’m an ACTUAL RICH WHITE ELITIST from Wellesley (a word so elitist it has at least 2 more ‘e’s than are absolutely necessary) and how else can I convince the planet that this son of a hard working single mother who busted ass to get himself through college is out of touch with the American people, none of whom have ever spent a holiday visiting their grandmother in the state in which they were born.

  28. …now that I think of it where in the U.S. could Barry vacation that would actually be worth going to that conservatives wouldn’t call elitist or out of touch? My guess is a trailer park somewhere in north Texas(and not one of those “fancy” ones with a pool)!

  29. Ah, Cokie, dear Cokie. You are a big celebrity now, doyenne of the Washington feminist press corps, inheritor of the mantle of Katharine Graham. And as always you are so utterly right: Barry should not be in “Hawaii”, a fake state if ever there was one and such a crazy mixed up patchwork of creeds, religions, ethnic “backgrounds” and polyglot faces.

    Absolutely, this is not the image that Hopey needs to get elected, indeed. I suggest that the Osama family vacation, instead, in Georgia – say, Stone Mountain, for example – or in Wyoming – no, not Jackson Hole but someplace Cheney where Michelle and the girls can shoot antelope and Barack can kibbitz with the boys down at the bar.

    Here, like this:

  30. [re=56562]Servo[/re]: Matter o’ fact, snarks aside, both Hawai’i and Sturgis (in Republic of Lakota) have active secessionist movements. They’re both foreign countries, not that it matters since McCain is a Panamanian anyway.

  31. isn’t the purpose of vacation to go someplace you wish you lived but can’t? isn’t the purpose of vacation to go somewhere beautiful and sunny with beaches and nature? wtf?

  32. [re=56601]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: But then the call would be ‘pandering’…

    God forbid that Hopey get a break after two and a half years of non-stop shit work. What a fucking elitist. (Of course, the rest of the guvmint is off for the whole month. But that’s different.)

  33. @mamedennis: nah that would definitely be Bunny. I’ve never understood how anybody with an ounce of self respect could go by the name Bunny.

  34. [re=56601]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: No, not a trailer park in North Texas. He should buy some ranch in the middle of nowhere Texas, bought from the money given to him from his wealthy parents and through the largess of family connections and there he can do ‘merican type things like brush away tumbleweeds or go bike riding or fish in his pre-stocked lake.

  35. [re=56607]Doglessliberal[/re]: Like mother, like daughter. Her NPR commentaries and yarns were good once, because she did know a lot about how government works. But she’s been on the teevee too long now, is no doubt very rich, and thus able to lecture we mere mortals about appropriate vacation spots for congressional candidates.

  36. [re=56601]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Wouldn’t it be awesome if Hopey went or Kennebunkport of Martha’s Vinyard? I’m sure Cokie and her compatriots would have nothing to say then…. yeah.

  37. [re=56589]JadedDIssonance[/re]:

    if you don’t see it, go to another site, return, and refresh.

    you forgot to say anything about intelligence being a bad thing.

  38. Okie-dokie, Cokie.

    Oh, what the fuck. He’s fucking *from* Hawaii! Like ‘Martha’s Vinyards’ in actually in the US, anyway. :p Holy plastic Jesus.

  39. [re=56617]V572625694[/re]: I agree. And she has just come out with some treacly book about First Ladies and in one interview I heard a few months back, clearly making the point that Hillary should be the next Pres, as First Ladies are so powerful, blah blah.

  40. [re=56624]Darehead[/re]: that would at least be interesting. Her hubby is Steve Roberts of Newsweek, I think? Some publication like that. Her daughter now works for…wait for it…NPR!

  41. Cokie wouldn’t have been happy unless Hopey spent his vacation walking around “South of the Border” dressed in cutoffs and a wifebeater…

  42. [re=56602]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]:

    no time to read it all, just headlines.

    those “town hunts” sure sound good to me…stayin’ at a nice hotel
    and shootin’ townies between drinks.

    mighty nice vacation. mighty nice.

  43. [re=56606]Street Organizer[/re]:
    No. Real Muricans go to Gatlinburg and get Old Tyme photos, stuff their guts with ice cream and salt-water taffy, and play putt-putt until their fingers bleed.

  44. fucking cunt says it “makes no sense whatsoever” and then lists TWO REASONS WHY IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. 1, his grammy lives there, and 2, Hawaii is in fact the 50th STATE!! Exotic is code for “brown” and Cockie Roberts is a racist trollop.

    i nearly drove into a tree when i heard that idiot repeat her bullshit on NPR this morning.

  45. [re=56615]Hooray For Anything[/re]: …yeah, or maybe go to some exotic foreign location and dance around like drunken imbecile while foreign dignitaries bring themselves to tears trying to hold back from laughing.

    [re=56618]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: …he wouldn’t make it 100 yards before the locals start complaining that he is bringing down the property value.

    [re=56611]Not_So_Much[/re]: [re=56609]Doglessliberal[/re]: …not if he offers up Michele for a wet t-shirt or pickle licking contest, then its called “connecting with the people”.

  46. [re=56630]mookworthjwilson[/re]: If he wanted to get fancy I could also lend him my t-shirth that says “Organ Donor” with an arrow pointing to his crotch.

  47. [re=56545]Doglessliberal[/re]: The Clintons went to the Vineyard for the first two summers of his first term. The Dick Morris told them they had to go camping in in Jackson Hole, Wyoming because campers were swing voters, so they pandered to them for two years. After he won re-election, they chucked their Coleman Lanterns and beef jerky and went back to the Vineyard for four years.

  48. [re=56633]The Neoskeptic[/re]: In my dreams, whenever a pundit says something this ridiculous, another pundit turns to them and says “you know, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard in awhile. You’re an idiot.” And then they actually talk about which candidate says what about each issue and the who has the better ideas and then I wake up.

  49. Myrtle Beach? Real Carolinians vacation at Pedro’s South of the Border, a wonderful place for your whole family right off the highway between N. and S. Carolina.

  50. Cokie Roberts is an awesome spokesperson for the proletariat. She is a true working class hero, and also her really rich husband and her family.

    ABC and National Public Radio’s Cokie Roberts–sister of DC’s most prominent lobbyist, Tommy Boggs, of Patton, Boggs & Blow–pulled in an estimated $30,00 for a 1995 chat with the Junior League of Greater Fort Lauderdale, Florida. JM Family Enterprises, a $4 billion firm, picked up the check. In October 1994, Roberts and her husband, reporter Steve Roberts of U.S. News & World Report, netted $45,000 for a joint appearance at a Chicago bank. (Washington Babylong, 29)

  51. And by wonderful place I mean a disgusting hellhole that only gets any customers by advertising on about 2,000 billboards on 95 in South Carolina.

  52. [re=56660]Mr Blifil[/re]: Two Buffalo Chip Diamonds.

    [re=56658]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: That snark is kinda veepid.

    [re=56632]Servo[/re]: And buy ‘Made in Bangladesh’ American trinkets.

  53. Too much for one piece.
    1. Myrtle Beach’s only real purpose anymore is to play golf. Even if Bama is going to lose south Carolina anyway, I don’t think he would want to piss off any potential voters there from other states (Virginia, North Carolina, anyone?) by his disrupted presence during their summer vacation. Besides, any real golf enthusiast would rather play in Hawaii. Bama on the links was a nice visual. Just hope Hopey avoided any terrorist fist bumps.
    2. When will old TV media finally get rid of the has beens like Roberts? This baby boomer boorish backlash to the rest of the country finally being sick of that generation’s self-obsession must end already. Boomers are has-beens (and, actually, most are never-weres).
    3. An afro-american family on the Vineyard? A southerner like Roberts would be appalled.

  54. [re=56528]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: yes, exactly.

    And Cokie,- where have I heard “Why can’t Obama close the deal” before?

    Oh yea,from that woman who said she was going to win the Democratic nomination.

  55. [re=56652]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: It’s not what I’d hoped, but it’s all I can do on short notice.

    Cokie vacays on Nantucket,
    So rustic she shits in a bucket.
    No elitist is she,
    In the land of the free,
    Those uppity Hawaiians can suck it.

  56. Auwe! Barry just visited a replica of a 12th century Buddhist Temple in Hawai’i. Barry is a Radical Buddhist Exotic Christian Muslim Communist!

  57. She’s totally right: Hawaii is a “state” in the same way that Louisiana is. In other words, it shouldn’t be one. It’s full of people with peculiar taste in music and with whom one should avoid being seen, and it presents altogether the wrong image. Especially in summer. What kind of American would go to Hawaii in summer?

  58. [re=56663]EnBuenOra[/re]: jeez,

    First Cokie is in Nantucket and now Patton, Boggs & Blow.


    Cant wait for the Wonkette photo essay of Barry on the Beach!
    I can recommend Kahuna Kabobs on Maui…great food and
    they serve the “best 8 inches of meat in town!”

  59. It sure is big of her to acknowledge that Hawaii is actually a state. And living on the west coast, I identify much more with Hawaii than I do South Carolina. What’s Myrtle Beach?

  60. or maybe…

    Cokie went off to Nantucket,
    Drinking beer right out of a bucket,
    She got really drunk
    And fell in a funk,
    Like when Sam Donaldson told her to suck it.

  61. Well, to be fair, should we allow “Jack” McCain to go back to Panama?

    [re=56689]V572625694[/re]: He probably intends to sacrifice Malia to Pele, too.

  62. I am from Hawaii. I grew up there. Shame on you, Cokie Roberts. I don’t call you exotics for being from the Alternate Dimension of the Perpetually Stupid.

  63. “No where near closing the deal”? Does she mean with her? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want close the deal with her. She probably yells out the names of long dead politicians when she climaxes.

  64. [re=56700]Vanity Smurf[/re]:

    There once was a media whore named Cokie
    Who blathered on about Hopey.
    When asked what’s in her head, she just smiled and said,
    “I’m just one O short of a Cookie.”

  65. [re=56673]raider12[/re]: The Vineyard actually has a large, afluent, African/American summer crowd. All of them uppity and elitist. It would be the perfect place for Oboma to vacation.

  66. Maybe it would be OK if Barry rented out one of John McCain’s eight vacation homes.

    Several years ago I saw (live) Cokie interviewed by Terrie Gross. Talk about full of yourself. She recommended all women take some “me” time off from their work for reflection and self-assessment. I thought this would be a particularly lovely idea if your working at Wal-Mart and have a second job at 711, as long as you were a Senator’s daughter, worth a couple of mill, and had a big-earning spouse. Cokie is what’s inside Washington insiders.

    [re=56675]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Huzzah!

  67. The once was a monster named Cokie,
    And she said lots of shit that was dopey.
    A media leech,
    She let out a screech:
    “It’s all about Hillz, not Hopey!”

  68. Yazza, Ms. Cokie, nex’ time I gwine ta go down to Miss’sippi and fish fo’ catfish! Can I bring y’all ‘nudda mint julep, Ms. Cokie?

    By de way, Ms. Cokie, when I gwine ta go, I gwine pack my britches in dat papah bag y’all can’t report yo’ way out of.

  69. [re=56673]raider12[/re]: As a never-was baby boomer I agree with you
    while still wanting to break my boot off in your ass somehow. When the
    19,000 vacuum tubes on my ENIAC warm up I will challenge you to a race
    to find a waterskiing squirrel on the intertubes.

    You will get old too, if you are lucky. People will laugh when you tell
    stories of how you used to have to wait for a page to load while waiting
    for an ad to be served, or how in the olden days Obama had a staycation
    because gas was “$4000 a buck” and there was no more ozone layer or oxygen.

  70. You heard it here first: Rielle Hunter is Cokie Roberts’ illegitimate daughter!

    Cokie was born Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Boggs in 1943 in New Orleans. As a senior at Wellesley College outside of Boston, she had a brief fling with the younger Steve Tyler (born Stephen Victor Tallarico in 1948), who was soon to become the lead singer of the the Boston hard rock band Aerosmith. She gave up her child at birth to the Drucks of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, who named her Lisa Jo Druck, later to become Rielle Jaya James Druck and finally Rielle Hunter. Since Roberts and Hunter reconnected in 2002, Roberts has supported Hunter a yearly stipend.

  71. [re=56730]Cape Clod[/re]: And that’s really the crux of the problem. If he’d gone there, he’d be an elitist snob. If he goes and visits his family in Hawaii….elitist snob. What he really needs to do is find a fashionable flophouse in Harlem. Maybe he should take Cokie, too.

  72. [re=56590]V572625694[/re]: Cokie’s dad was on the plane with Congressman Nick Begich (human-AK) that went down between Anchorage and Juneau in 1972 or whatever. Don Young (protoliterate dingbat-AK) won the special election for his seat. Now, Don Dung is in big doody over the same sort of shenanigans that have doomed Uncle Ted (Nutter-AK) to the scrap heap of history, and his seat’s going to be taken by (wait for it)…….Mark Begich (A modicum of common sense-AK). Wheels within wheels, man.

  73. I am thinking COKIE is a nickname from when she was a banged up coke whore from the days she like hung out in New York with other cokeheads and stuff.

    But I am more interested in her birth moniker:

    Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Boggs.. Such an impressive name for this in touch intellectual.. It’s as tough as the botox concrete holding her face together!

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