Stay classy, John.THE SLEAZEBAG’S LAMENT: “On the local wingnut talk radio station, the loudmouth host and halfwit callers were high-fiving each other for talking about creepy John Edwards cheating on his cancer-stricken wife long before Wolf Blitzer or whoever mentioned it. So we’ve got Edwards’ foul behavior, the Responsible Media’s shameful behavior, and the wingnuts’ shameless behavior. This is not exactly America’s finest moment.” [AOL Political Machine]

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  1. wrapped in trash and burned in his mansion. he should also probably suffer through a terminal illness while his significant other cheats on him.

  2. [re=55973]Delicious[/re]: yea, I think I’m going to enjoy the rest of my life exploring the implications of a rising China and a stagnating US.

    If they rule as well as they put on a show, we’re in luck!!!

  3. [re=55974]columnv[/re]: Since we are of lousy Occidental stock to be considered for slave labor, our mandate from Beijing will be to produce backyard wrestling and skateboard faceplant videos to be posted for the amusement the ruling elite.

  4. I sure hope someone got a frame grab of Dubya yawning and checking his watch during the opening ceremonies tonight.

    We pay that clown – what – like $400k – you would think he would be able to sit up straight and look dignified for a few freaking hours.

    What a pathetic clown.

  5. [re=55975]Delicious[/re]: there are worse things, don’t forget. we could be a country ripe for invasion and occupation with hundreds of thousands dead.

    i’m fine having shit hit my nuts for the overlords’ enjoyment.

  6. Yeah, well, the radio wingnuts can totally justify their Schadenfreude, here; cheating on your cancer-riddled spouse is way beneath right-y heroes, like Newt Gingrich.

  7. Our finest moment, of course, being when George Dubya Bush caught a 7.5 pound perch on his stocked lake. After that is going to be either the Mideast peace treaty, winning the war in Iraq, cutting the deficit in half, social security reform, transforming the military, or connecting the hotline to Baby Jesus so we’ll get advance notice of the Rapture — whichever of those Bush actually accomplishes in the remainder of his administration.

  8. When was it, exactly, when modern politics turned into a game of Sex Scandal Ping Pong?

    One side serves with a saucy marital affair, the other returns with a sizzling “noted homophobe caught doing guys in men’s room” shot, the opponent calmly replies with an overhand “fucking hookers”, which is met by a tricky backhanded “fucking little boys” shot… point set match! Or however ping pong’s scored.

  9. How’s the blogosphere holding up to all this news? Are the tubes getting blocked? Has Drudge created an animated gif of a police siren so large that he, himself, could not spin it? I’ve been too busy not giving a shit about this story.

  10. [re=55998]mattbolt[/re]: I get the feeling that we’re all sort of there with you on the not-giving-a-shit thing. Anyone up? Reading this? Feels like checking Drudge? I’m drinking, so… fine. I’ll do it. Jesus.

  11. CNN seems to be in a fit of outraged shock tonight. I think Anderson is a little too upset, if you get my drift, and Wolf seems to be genuinely stunned that Edwards lied… for Christ sakes Wolf, Bill Clinton lied to the whole country, while he was president, about having sex with someone other than his wife… and the Republic is still standing, sort of… also I see Edwards pointed out the similarities between his own behaviour and that of John McCain towards his first wife.. they’re almost identical.. but I notice the MSM is pretty much leaving that part out.. after all John surely didn’t mean to be mean to his first wife, and certainly didn’t dump her just because his new girlfriend was rich and had great political connections.

  12. Um, so. Drudge currently has 8 links to various stories, a pic of Edwards with a woman who I can only assume is Rielle, and perhaps the worst concept of “web design” that I have ever, EVER seen. Who designed that site? Was it “take your ‘tard to work” day or something when Matt commissioned that thing? Fer FUCK’S sake.

    Oh, the the tire gauge ad, which had not yet, apparently, played itself out yet.

  13. [re=55977]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Johnny, have YOU ever sat through Chinese Opera (and that whole Olympics saga was an example of the genre)? I have, my friend. It makes water boarding look humane. If you really want to torture your enemy, give them two tickets, Row L, seats 34 & 35, Lower Orchestra, to “Blossoms in Snow”. Make their ears BLEED…

  14. Seriously folks, Bill Clinton cheated on his wife before she was his wife, and continued cheating throughout the marriage. He even expected the nation to make her president, to compensate her for his conduct. Those who forgave Bill Clinton are being very inconsistent to condemn Edwards.

  15. [re=56004]graceless[/re]: (shudder) There’s nothing quite like flashing, seizre-inducing scrolling text to make my brain hurt. But I never expect any Hillary fans to understand concepts of “readability”. Drudge has been in the game long enough that he should be introduced to something other than center-aligned text.

    [re=56002]Wagamuffin[/re]: Beijing opera? The whole “Woooooooo shhiiiiiiiiii niiiiiiiii duuuuhhhh eeeerrrrrrr zi,” (CLANG chun chun chun chun chun chun CLANG CLANG CLANG) opera? I love that shit.

  16. Reporter: Alright, what’s gonna be our lead story, boss? We’ve got an honest-to-God war going on in Georgia and the most anticipated Olympic games in recent history are underway. Also, the guy who came 3rd in the Democratic primaries fucked some chick, like, 2 years ago.

    Bureau chief: Fucked? As in, SEX? SEMI-FAMOUS HUMANS HAVING SEX?! Alright, let’s go people – I want our news copter in North Carolina with live footage, I want interviews with anyone who’s ever met Edwards, I want dramatic recreations of events – we’re going wall-to-wall coverage on this bad boy.

  17. [re=55977]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I expressly got up from a sound sleep to come on to Wonkette to find someone else who was disgusted by W.’s typical–and yet especially irritating–performance tonight. You’re president, and you can’t find someone to make you a tropical weight suit you don’t have to take off when i gets a little hot? Sarko seemed to know where to get such a garment. I know that place was a sweat box but, I mean, the lack of dignity drove me nuts.

  18. Reminds me of a quote from…”Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” (?)

    “Yes, to cheat on one’s wife, that is French. To be caught, that is American.”

    Chill, mes compadres. You think darling Sarko, for example, doesn’t have a mistress, even with the lovely Carla B or Jackie O or whoevs as his wife? Haha! This is only sleaze to us ’cause of the whole Pilgrim/Puritan thingie. Likewise, the rest of the world yawned at Bill Clinton getting a BJ in the Oval Office.

    It’s not the end of the American era ’cause of scandals like this. It’s the end ’cause our edumacation and technical impetus is laggin’. Retard Nation.

  19. If Edwards’ mansion actually did burn to the ground, it would result in a two degree warming of the earth, and the release of enough soot to blacken the sky for weeks.

  20. [re=56019]TGY[/re]: And Carla is a confessed polyandrist so that makes it more exciting.
    The media attention should be proportionate to the hypocrisy, since the hypocrisy is the real issue here for the non-fundies amongst us.
    So, Johnny E lied, his wife cried but nobody died and he hasn’t spent his career legislating or preaching morality. So fuhgett about it already.
    Swaggart, Foley, Vitter,Craig, Gingrich, Haggard, Spitzer, etc. etc. on the other hand…never forget!

  21. There was always something hugely self-aggrandizing about Edwards that bugged me, even while he spoke words that appealed. He seemed to be the one Dem candydate in this cycle who said, “fuck compromise and reaching across the aisle, ‘coz that won’t get us where we need to go. People with power don’t share it willingly; it’s gotta be taken.” That seemed real-politik to me, even though I never truly believed he’d actually do what he promised.

    Edwards deserves everything that comes his way. But I will say one thing in his favour: he’s not only taking his lumps like a man, he’s inviting all the scorn that people wish to toss in his direction. I’ve heard no mea culpas about how he was under so much stress, or how superhuman you’ve got to be to fight off all the chicks who want to fuck the famous, or how he couldn’t control the vigorous wood that his wife’s pending immortality had given him, or denials a la Larry Craig, et al. He’s basically said, “I’ve behaved like a douchebag and I richly deserve your disapproval.” Who am I to disagree?

    So, Billie Jean was his lover, but the kid is not his son? Way to split the difference, Mr. Run-Of-The-Mill.

  22. [re=56035]Canuckledragger[/re]: that “something” =

    His discourse, like you say, loyal to the progressive left manual, but,

    His demeanor, still “Oh Lordy, Lordy” Southern Fundamentalist big-haired Preacher

  23. [re=56044]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Ha ha ha. Selfish?!? Why is anyone surprised? What kind of a person runs for President? If you think you are able to essentially head up the (still) most powerful country on the planet – you’ve got to be arrogant, selfish and really have a sense of invulnerability. Kind, humble, honest people don’t run for political office. The only people who should give a shit about this are members of his family. He’s still a dick though.

  24. The swine Edwards should follow the Clinton formula for handling crises.

    “Didn’t do it.”
    “Didn’t do it.”
    “Didn’t do it.”
    “Didn’t do it.”

    “Republicans made me do it.”
    “Republicans made me do it.”
    “Republicans made me do it.”
    “Republicans made me do it.”
    “Republicans made me do it.”
    “Republicans made me do it.”
    “Republicans made me do it.”

    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”
    “Every body does it.”

    “Doesn’t matter. That’s old news.”
    “Doesn’t matter. That’s old news.”
    “Doesn’t matter. That’s old news.”
    “Doesn’t matter. That’s old news.”
    “Doesn’t matter. That’s old news.”
    “Doesn’t matter. That’s old news.”

    …….. barf!

  25. Who the hell cares about Edwards when you can get a delicious steak meal at Outback with two of your favorite sides for only $9.99?!??!!?

  26. [re=56060]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Slouching. Checking his watch. Fidgeting. Bouncing knees. Coat off with the sleeves rolled up. Legs wide open. Doesn’t clap for Puerto Rico. Hardly notices the Iraq team.

    You know, good ‘ol Joe Sixpack George.

  27. [re=56062]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Good point. I forgot about the steak. I forgot about that Clay Aiken thing which is still creeping me out too.

  28. So he did fuck the tacky looking blonde lady but she didn’t have his baby. All is clear.

    John Edwards renounces and rejects the lovechild! Why does the lovechild hate America?

  29. [re=56063]KevoTron[/re]: Kevo: you forgot the enhanced smirk factor on Bushs face when the Iraqi team came out.

    Christ, I hate his mouth. It could give one nightmares.

  30. [re=56068]sati demise[/re]: And then when interviewed he says, ““Georgia is a sovereign nation, and its territorial integrity must be respected.”

  31. I don’t know if the real story is Edwards’ turpitude; we’ve all got that to a degree or other, or at least while I haven’t done anything nearly that bad to my wife, his behaviour doesn’t bother me that much. No, for me the real story is the chickenshit media for worrying about whether Obama orders orange juice in a coffee shop, but never bothering to out this story which would have completely sunk the Democrats’ chances in November had Edwards been nominated.

    Oh, and his living in a baronial estate while yakking about the two Americas has also irked me considerably.

  32. i’m not sure why anyone is suprised by this (or shocked in Wolfie’s case). doesn’t it all fit with his narcissistic view of the world? let me guess what he did when he got home, cried on Elizabeth’s shoulder b/c the media was being so mean to him. of COURSE he’d have an affair with a filmmaker focusing on him. does he scream out his own name during sex?

  33. [re=56005]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: No, it’s more like: “Nee neenee nee neeneeeeeeeeeeee, nee-nee nee-nee-nee-nee neeeeeeeeeeeee”. Like a trillion angry mosquitoes buzzing around you head.

  34. [re=56073]Ken Layne[/re]: Yeah and you are a snotty right wing liar who is just jealous of John Edwards coz of his pretty face! AOL commentz tole me so. Either you need therapy or a makeover, it’s not clear.

  35. What really irks me, James Carville, Susan Estrich and the like, all of whom made excuses for Bill Clinton’s affairs, are the ones throwing Edwards under the bus. What he did, was bad, but for those who elevated Bill Clinton, dismissed his conduct, both consensual and not consented to is just disgusting.

    I’m not one to mind a little hypocrisy, but this is really over the limit.

  36. I had expected Edwards’ sexual escapade would have been with teh gayz. Shame on him, a so-called populist, for going the traditional route of banging a Donna Rice look-alike.

    Jeff Gannon, please come home – all is forgiven!

  37. [re=56063]KevoTron[/re]: Le sigh. And to think that I missed it.

    Goodness, do extra-marital affairs bore the living shit out of me. Everyone does it. Just make sure that, before you fuck other women, little boys, bathroom policemen, beer heiresses, hookers with a large diaper supply, etc. while your wife is fighting cancer, recovering from cancer, dealing with a debilitating car accident, etc. that you haven’t staked your reputation on being a family-values kind of politician. I can’t tell if Edwards has avoided that because, well, I never really noticed him.

  38. Okay, politicians cheating isn’t surprising or a big deal, but Edwards cheating on his wife who had cancer, paying the woman campaign money to cover it up, letting a married colleague take the blame for their love child, and then going “but I didn’t love my mistress and the cancer was in remission anyway” to make it all better…that’s scandalous. Edwards is a pube.

  39. [re=56080]ronaldpagan[/re]: I don’t understand how saying it was “lut” and not “love” makes it better, anyway. Like, don’t worry, guys, I was just in it for the sex.

  40. Is this what happens when you get a $500 haircut? Damn, dre. maybe i should get hooked up

    Oh well, at least it didn’t happen in a restroom or to a piece of raw poultry…that’s compassionate conservative way.

  41. Am I alone in thinking that the handling of this issue by most political figures (not the media) since Edwards confession has been, almost, mature? Like Bill, Barack, and even Elizabeth…

  42. One of the reasons the MSM will love this story, aside from its prurience, is, it’s cheap to cover. Video of the press conference, some stock pictures of Rielle Hunter, a few talking heads, and you’re good to go for weeks.

  43. [re=56081]tunamelt[/re]: It would make me feel better if I were Elizabeth, but if I were a nation reeling from the loss of my favorite pretty boy mill-worker’s son? Not at all.


    Haircut: $500
    Campaign money used to keep Fugs Bunny’s mouth shut: At least $114,000
    Career-destroying love child: Priceless

  44. “Love child” is used in exactly the same way that “bastard” once was. Come on. Can we just refer to the kid as a baby, child, son, daughter, whatever, or are we still intent on stigmatizing the child who had no say in the matter?

  45. [re=56088]Odd Ass City[/re]: As a matter of church doctrine, you are in error. First of all, any self-respecting, God-fearing Republican sperm would have refused to penetrate that egg, and in fact would never have found an egg at all in the descending colons in which they usually travel. However, once an egg has been penetrated, the resulting zygote becomes a sacred bastard love child who, under the doctrine of original sin, is personally responsible for its disgusting immoral condition and therefore cannot be aborted. See?

    John Edwards awarded ‘Father of the Year’
    Democrat received honor about 8 months before alleged love child born

    Posted: August 04, 2008
    8:30 pm Eastern

    © 2008 WorldNetDaily

    Where was John Edwards around the time his alleged “love child” Frances Quinn Hunter was conceived?

    The senator was in New York – receiving his Father of the Year Award.

    Edwards accepted his June 27, 2007, honor from the Father’s Day/Mother’s Day Council exactly eight months before the child was born Feb. 27, 2008, according to a birth certificate obtained by the Charlotte Observer.

    Before beginning his Father of the Year acceptance speech, Edwards told an adoring crowd, “I hate to admit it, but I am not the best parent in my family. …”

  47. [re=56076]graceless[/re]: I know I’m late to this party…but Bill Clinton didn’t have an affair, he got a blow job. And from a woman, and not in an airport restroom. Wait, I know I had a point to make…

  48. [re=56079]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I hear ya. To me, Bernie Mac was funnier than some of the supposed Great American Comedians cough cough george carlin cough that some people rave on about.

  49. Personal life vs. Political life

    Yes, he’s sleazy. Yes, he shouldn’t have a political career after this. But come on. This is a personal issue. Leave it alone. This affair shouldn’t cause Edwards’ political ideologies to die with it. We need others to take up his goals and ideas because, as uncouth as his behavior was, his political ideals are still worth fighting for.

  50. One outcome of all this: Get used to hearing the words Attorney General Eliot Spitzer. The pressure’s off him now (his whoring is old news) and Edwards is out the way.

  51. [re=56095]wheelie[/re]: Carlin was genius. Bernie did some good googly-eyed takes in movies. But comparing his take on kids who are sick and full of germs versus Carlin saying there is no God…there is no comparison.

  52. I have to make an apology. I said before that no one had worse taste than Bill Clinton. I was wrong. At least he isn’t the Democratic party’s nominee. Other than that, I have nothing. Oh, except, what a prick!

  53. [re=56101]Delicious[/re]: Genius or whatever that George Carlin was, I guess I might judge a comedian by how much I laugh. And I’m just saying that Bernie Mac made me laugh more than George bloody Carlin ever did.

  54. On the whole Bernie Mac thing, I think it’s a bit crass that CNN mentions the incredily minor “Obama fundraiser dirty joke” story as the 5th sentence in the entire story. The guy’s been a comedian for decades, and all he gets remembered for is the shit he did a couple weeks ago by the ADD-addled media.

    Note to self: Keep a clean slate in the few weeks before dying; save self from having entire lifetime remembered for some one-off unimportant shit.

  55. [re=56093]whiteasasheet[/re]/ClintonRevisionist: I agree that “Bill Clinton didn’t have an affair,” because “an” is a singular article.

  56. [re=56125]rickmv[/re]: We don’t really know that, yet, do we? Maybe if he got the paternity test.

    [re=56056]valobama[/re]: start talkin’…..!

  57. [re=56111]wheelie[/re]: Totally. It’s not that Carlin didn’t say some incredibly smart and subversive things – it’s that when I listened to his routines, I was immediately irritated by him. As interesting and relevant as some of his riffs were on language and rhetoric were, I find it nauseatingly annoying to listen to for more than a few moments.

    Bernie Mac wasn’t a comic genius, but he had his moments. Facial expressions were his specialty. I certainly didn’t love everything he did, but I assumed he had a few years left in him. To die is 50… just sad.

  58. [re=55974]columnv[/re]: I’ll tell you, no one in China is surprised that powerful men enjoy many women! China is a lot more like France or Italy than it is like the US.

    Zhu Bajie

  59. [re=55984]Delicious[/re]: B[re=56131]zhubajie[/re]: BJ has every obscure US fast food joint you can think of. Last I knew, they only lacked White Castle.

    Zhu Bajie

  60. [re=56063]KevoTron[/re]: So, do you suppose the management at George’s hotel called him up, asked if he wanted a woman? That’s the usual thing at Chinese hotels.

    Zhu Bajie

  61. [re=56091]Jerk[/re]: Well, back in the ’80s, my Reptile congressman was given an award, by the US Chamber of Commerce, for being the most conservative member of the US House of Representatives. Not long after-wards, he was arrested and convicted of screwing 13 year old Black girls! He got 90 days in jail, I think, but was released after 30. I thought he should have run again, told the voters of Ohio that he was so conservative that even his vices were old-fashioned!

    Last I knew, he’d retired to Texas, and was probably enjoying the chicas over the border in Mexico.

  62. [re=56093]whiteasasheet[/re]: Gennifer Flowers, she says they were at it for 12 years, Monica Lewinsky we have audio tapes, and White House records that say they were at for two years. The DNA on Monica’s clothes is why he admitted the blow job. This doesn’t even go into Paula Jones, but then again, who’d want to.

  63. [re=56129]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Then, Paultards think they own Carlin, which is really weird. Some Ron Paul YouTubes are really old Carlin vids remixed.

  64. [re=56123]SwanSwanH[/re]: [re=56167]graceless[/re]: I see I’ve been labeled a Clinton revisionist/apologist when really all I am is inept at snark.

  65. Just the kind of sneaky tactic we expected from the Silk Pony (or do we now call him the Slick Stud?). You know, like Billary, he never closed down his campaign, only “suspended” it while he slinked off to hide out in that Hollywood hotel with his ho.

    Now, with Hopey windsurfing in da islands and Billary rousing her billions of backers to heckle the convention podium for a roll call, the Sick Stud is gonna play the dark horse card and sweep past them both to victory.

    I can’t wait for the debates, an old white mysoginist who tried to sell his wife at a motorcycle sex slave auction and a young white Southern stud with a black book as long as your arm and girlfriends in every town…yahoo! Truck Nutz meets Bitters in a “Sacha Baron Cohenesque Gay Fight Night Hoax”.

    Speaking of “girlfriends” what exactly IS the nature of Slick Pony’s “intimate relationship” with shadowy fake father and husband Andrew Young? Lord help us, not adorable Andy Young of Hotlanta? This *is* interesting.

  66. [re=56184]whiteasasheet[/re]: Actually, my bad. I re-read your post, and did find the snark. It was a little too subtle, but definitely there. My bad, a thousand sorries…

  67. [re=56139]zhubajie[/re]:

    Don’t get me wrong . . . I think Ohio pervs are second to none (well, except maybe Wisonsin) in their deviations. But you skipped a step . . . before saying “everyone does it” you first have to somehow blame Republicans for causing the Edwards affair . . . the “pressure of the campaign”, “nasty things Rush Limbaugh said about him” . . . etc. Then you move on the “everyone does it”. But it will be “old news, doesn’t matter” in a couple of days, so probably better to relax and just watch the Olympics. (I still think Ashley Dupree is way hotter than Rielle Hunter. In a sleazy sort of way)

  68. [re=56227]Jerk[/re]: I think the formula is something like “Democrat has affair = freak the fuck out” while “Republican sucking off guys in public bathrooms, raping children, banging goats = claming ‘well, everyone does it'”.

  69. [re=56243]glamourdammerung[/re]:

    Yea, like that!!!!

    Something to keep in mind next time a pol comes up with the lame old excuse, “well, everyone does it”

  70. “Ah did not have sex with that woman! John Edwards did!” Fellow sleazebag Bill seizing the moment of opportunity.

    What is it about Southern, white, male, Democratic, Presidential candidates that they have this obsession to philander in the most obscene ways and then obsessively, and annoyingly, continue to apologize for it and ask our forgiveness? Who do they think the public is? Jesus Christ? Can the public grant them forgiveness and salvation?

    But in fairness to John Edwards, as sleazy as he is, the National Enquirer is at least 10 times MORE sleazy. I mean really, waiting outside his hotel room door at 2:30 in the morning? The National Enquirer is like the Thought Police and the Anti-Sex League in 1984. I’m surprised they didn’t plant a spy camera in his hotel room.

    Then these Mega-sleazebag National Enquirer creeps come on the Sunday Talking Heads shows and talk about how they’re doing this “to inform the public, who needs to know”. What total BS. They just want to make millions off the story, which they are doing.

    And how are they helping Mrs. Edwards? Exposing her to national disgrace, as she sits there with terminal cancer? Yeah, they’re really helping HER a lot.

    Ratings on the Sleaze-O-Meter: John Edwards 10, National Enquirer 100. The Mega-sleazeballs at the National Enquirer actually make John Edwards look good.

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