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HAIR HATS

Ancient Irish Relative Of Obama’s Made Wigs

Lice and bats included free of charge!Researchers have discovered that Barack Obama has some Irish ancestors, and one of them was a wig-maker. This gentleman caroused with all the classiest people available in Dublin in the 1700s, which is probably not saying much. [Independent]


5:19 PM on Fri August 8 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1234 Views

  1. anabellum says at 5:25 pm, August 8th, 2008

    does this mean that Barry is related to everyone who has ever lived?…

  2. Cathangover says at 5:25 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I’m just here for the anachronistic James Joyce references.

  3. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:26 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Were these the O’Bamas?

  4. ManchuCandidate says at 5:29 pm, August 8th, 2008

    At least the genealogists didn’t make a direct ancestor of his, the 4th son of the Duke of Earl or some other nobility bullshit they tell movie stars/self important people with delusions of grandeur.

    I’m still waiting for one of those dumbshits to find out that they were related to the King of France’s Pissboy.

  5. mattbolt says at 5:29 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Beaten on the cheap O’Bama joke already!

  6. columnv says at 5:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    elitist ancestor

  7. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    …does this mean Barry has a drinking problem?

  8. problemwithcaring says at 5:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Ha- And Michelle’s relatives on the Southside sew in lace fronts…It runs on both sides.

  9. Perot le fou says at 5:33 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Random fact about people being related (and nazi orgies): Winston Churchill’s nephew was a Communist who’s wife was the sister of the wife of British Union of Fascists leader Oswald Mosley who’s son likes to hire prositutes to dress up as Ann Frank.

  10. bluebuckeyes says at 5:34 pm, August 8th, 2008

    well this certainly lends an entirely different meaning to the term “black irish”. i for one am happy to have barry on board the guiness train.

  11. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 5:35 pm, August 8th, 2008

    A sixth great granduncle is technically not an ancestor but a relative.

  12. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:35 pm, August 8th, 2008

    IS THIS GUY EVERYTHING *BUT* AMERICAN I MEAN GAWD SHIT I AM FUCKING PISSED OFF BUT I FORGOT WHY.

  13. TicklePickle says at 5:36 pm, August 8th, 2008

    First the Dark Lord is his cousin, now this foo foo fuck. Barry, where’s your Bwana?

  14. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:36 pm, August 8th, 2008

    columnv: …anyone who actually traces their ancestry is an elitist! See, true Amurikans only trace their lineage to the point that their ancestor arrived in the U.S. Any admission to actually being from another country is something that Chablis sipping Amurika haters with passports do!

  15. SayItWithWookies says at 5:39 pm, August 8th, 2008

    So were they eating babies, a la Modest Proposal? If so, I guess that was the Cheney side of the family.

  16. weirdiowasculpture says at 5:54 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Another Obama relative was quoted as saying: “…I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. “

  17. wheelie says at 5:55 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Dublin, 1745:

    ” . . . An’ so my good gentlemen, I beg of yee to vote me into the Periwig Maker’s Guild. And for the last time, I’m not a Moor.”

  18. Makeithurt says at 6:01 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Again — is there no one this negro is not related to? What’s that old saying about a woodpile?

  19. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez says at 6:05 pm, August 8th, 2008

    How did the O’Bamas weather the Great Potato Famine?

  20. BlindHabaneroJefferson says at 6:11 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Sarah Barney Belcher says: Once upon a time and a very good time it was too there was an Inevitable Presidency coming down the road and this Inevitable Presidency that was coming down the road met a nicens little boy named baby Barack.

  21. AngryBlakGuy says at 6:16 pm, August 8th, 2008

    The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: …by eating Arugula, DUHHHHHHH!!!

  22. sati demise says at 6:17 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Because everyone knows the Irish are the nig*ers of Europe.

    I forgot who first stated this important fact.
    The Replacements?

  23. WIDTAP says at 6:47 pm, August 8th, 2008

    This confirms it. Barry’s ancestors are Irish terrorists.

  24. Kingbee says at 6:59 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Bewigged elitists.

  25. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 7:02 pm, August 8th, 2008

    So, Obama comes from a long line of sissy-boys. The Republicans were right!

  26. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 7:07 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Perot le fou: I have also heard that our President George W. Bush had a relative, a George H. W. Bush, who was a comparatively semi-fit president and who actually didn’t mess up everything he ever tried to do.

    WIDTAP: WIDTAP, I didn’t know you had joined the McCain campaign. Or are you just working for Fox News now?

  27. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:05 pm, August 8th, 2008

    WIDTAP: …FAKE!!!: All the Irish terrorist are Catholic or Protestant not MOOSLIM!!!

  28. Mahousu says at 8:11 pm, August 8th, 2008

    So, based on the family history, could Obama whip up something for McCain? I hear the guy’s thinning a little on the top.

  29. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:15 pm, August 8th, 2008

    …now that I really think about it, this whole digging through Obama’s ancestry is getting old. Why don’t they just go all the way back to Lucy the Australopithecus and say he is related to everyone on the god damn planet already?!

  30. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:16 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Mahousu: …TROLLOP!!!

  31. The Station Manager says at 8:18 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Typical. My Irish girlfriend loads me up with cheap Irish jokes, and the one chance I get to use them, and they’re all taken up.

  32. josereyes.theroof says at 8:20 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: If you mean he cannot wait ’til the launch of Dr Dre’s Aftermath Cognac, then yes.

    (Hey, the Phil Lynott & IRA: Jihadi Faction jokes were already taken.)

  33. wheelie says at 8:55 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: True! What makes this such a story is this: not only is he related to a family in the Irish countryside (which we already knew over here), he also has people in Dublin city! He’s got the Elitists and the Bitters both covered. And this is just one country, one small country, in Europe. I’ll bet he’ll turn out to have both Russian and Georgian ancestors somewhere in his gigantic family tree.

  34. wallythepug says at 9:19 pm, August 8th, 2008

    That’s ironic, because McCain could use a wig!

  35. Paul Tardy says at 9:32 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I bet with one of those wigs his great … great grand daddy mad, BHO would look just like the white guy on the dollar bill. The 2, 10, and 100 too. Powdered wigs are the great equalizer.

  36. lawrenceofthedesert says at 10:46 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Not one Black Irish joke! I am shocked. But I’m sure Rich Daley knew all along.

  37. Merry Christen says at 10:47 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Mahousu: hey, that’s what the cunty trollop said. Who I would totally do if she weren’t a robot with no sex holes. Just a money printer down there, I heard…

    Anyhoo, I’m Irish (and drunk) and my family was dirt poor and they couldn’t figure out how to fish or grow summat other than taters, so obviously the O’Bamas were smarter than my kinfolk, so I for one welcome our superior, elitist, wig-crafty Black Irish overlords…

  38. S.Luggo says at 11:14 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Cathangover: “I’m just here for the anachronistic James Joyce references.”
    “Just here” or just where else?
    David Brooks, is that you? Confess. I will appreciate you no less. Or to paraphrase Joyce, in his run-on, Dubliner phrased, words and sentences in Finnegans Wake, e.g. failedyourmaster’sdegreeroralexamdidyou?

  39. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 1:30 am, August 9th, 2008

    If the red slayer think he slays,
    Or if the slain think he is slain,
    They know not well the subtle ways
    He keeps, and pass, and turns again.

    Barry is the batsman and the bat,
    He is the bowler and the ball,
    The umpire, the pavilion cat,
    The roller, pitch, and stumps, and all.

  40. schvitzatura says at 3:53 am, August 9th, 2008
  41. Outstando says at 4:54 am, August 9th, 2008

    They’ll never dig coal there.

  42. economywine says at 11:02 am, August 9th, 2008

    Only The Terror would dare construct or wear such crippling head garments… or Heart.

  43. masterdebater says at 10:10 pm, August 9th, 2008

    Maybe they screwed up and it is really that his ancestors were Irish Whigs?

  44. dedalus says at 2:43 pm, August 10th, 2008

    O’Bama on CNN this a.m. offering up an old Irish toast to John Edwards:

    “May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous wife!”

  45. eyesfriedopen says at 7:43 am, August 11th, 2008

    See, he’ll be ready to lead on day one. It’s in his blood.

  46. eyesfriedopen says at 7:49 am, August 11th, 2008

    This is just what we need to revive our failing economy. Bring back the powdered wig! Quickly, before the terrorists win!

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