boycott mcdonald's

McDonald’s Boycott An Opposite-Success!

Man, the Fundies sure have shown those queers at McDonald’s what happens when they start pushing the Gay Agenda: “CHICAGO–McDonald’s Corp said Friday that global sales at restaurants open at least 13 months rose 8 percent in July, as the key U.S. market posted its largest gain in five months.” A recession is not really a great time to affect change in the fast food industry with a boycott. Besides, we know all of these fat selfish mouth-breathers have been going to McDonald’s secretly, every day. [Reuters]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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58 comments

  1. AngryBlakGuy

    …why don’t they do like the azzholes down here in Miami and hold the line-up at the counter/drive thru by acting like you have no idea what to order? Seriously, I hate those people; I mean you didn’t decide what you want to fukkin eat when you decided to go to McDonald?! I wish I could karate chop them in the back of the neck!!! Im sorry for the rant, but I didn’t get my happy meal toy today.

  2. american mutt

    There’s a McDs next to a gay bar I stop by sometimes. The homo-bar/McDs union is a match made in heaven.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    Dear soi-disant David:

    Goliath wins most of the time. That’s just never newsy enough to get in the Bible.

    Yours in god-mockery,

    SIwW

  4. shortsshortsshorts

    “I ate at McDonalds all the time before I heard that they give $5 to a gay-rights group. I was so distraught I didn’t know what to do. Where would my loyalty lie? Would it be a multi-national corporation or Jeebus? After much consideration, I simply had to forsake God. Those burgers and fries were just way to good to pass up. At that point I lifted my “boy”cott and started fucking every dude I could find. They would penetrate me while I enjoyed a Big Mac, and it is was just so very majestic!
    Boycott Gawd everyone, he hates your freedom fries…. oh and have lots of gay butsecks.”

  5. polar_bear

    [re=55717]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: That was me in front of you trying to order an Arch Deluxe and a McRib

  6. TicklePickle

    You know what they say about the size of a man’s shoes? No wonder Ronald has all that extra room up near his loins.

  7. mattbolt

    What’s the difference between McDonald’s and Catholic priests?

    Even McDonald’s wouldn’t put their meat in buns that were 12 years old.

  8. mattbolt

    I love the comments section on the boycottmcdonalds.com site, full of frumpy Jesus-loving housewives pounding their sausage-fingers on their keyboards trying to coherently string together both their fury at queers, and the disheartening idea of never eating a triple big mac again (well, not exactly – half the comments say “looks like I’ll be taking my family’s thousands of dollars of business to Burger King!”, so, no big loss there)

    One dude’s going on about how the good Lord strikes down sinners, including McDonald’s, for supporting the sin of sodomy. Well, too bad sodomy isn’t one of the seven sin. Y’know what is? Gluttony! And I’m pretty sure all you fatasses bragging about all the money you used to spend at McDonald’s are guilty of that!

  9. weirdiowasculpture

    It’s all just a big misunderstanding. They walked into McDonalds one day and assumed all the projectile vomiting was Satan at work.

  10. FunkyPalmettoBug

    Yeah, I’ve been working it in the their bathrooms, that drove some people there…I think. At least they said they went there for the shakes…

  11. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    Just what exactly is on the Gay Agenda? I’ve been gay for at least 42 of my 52 years, but no one ever bothered to brief me.

  12. DangerousLiberal

    Sales are up because these lardasses are eating at BK, leaving more room in the seats for normal sized people. McD’s is even able to add more tables and chairs now that Porky McChristian is staying at home. Asshats.

  13. BadNewsJack

    I love it how religious people think they can make a difference. Poeple aer soo stupit

  14. Spence

    [re=55755]american mutt[/re]: Akbar is not a gay bar. It’s just for fag hags and the metrosexuals that love them…

  15. american mutt

    [re=55804]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: It should be evident. The Gay Agenda is to take over one of the world’s most well-known and valuable brands of their globally branded quick service restaurant segment of the informal eating-out market in virtually every country.

  16. american mutt

    [re=55834]Spence[/re]: Well, on an off night it seems like a gay bar. I don’t venture in when the fag hags are standing outside smoking. They scare me and I’m straight. Although… I could always pretend I’m gay and rub up against them and get away with it?

  17. Spence

    Yes. That’s called playing the “Fag Stag”, the gay-friendly straight guy who picks off the fag hags. If you ever need a ‘mo wingman, let me know. I live three blocks from Akbar.

  18. Not_So_Much

    [re=55834]Spence[/re]: I thought Akbar was the name of one of them there brown furner terririst fellers?

    First the butt secks now the brown folk? God is going to smite us indeed…

  19. Spence

    [re=55864]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: All straight men, head my words. Nothing, I mean nothing, will get you more open-minded GGG ladyparts then hanging out with your GBF. Women love a man who is secure enough to be down with the gays, and they tend to get riled up at the gay bars by all that unavailable man-flesh. As long as you don’t actually make out with your gay buddy in front of her, you’re in like flynn.

  20. Spence

    [re=55861]Not_So_Much[/re]: All terrorists are gay. Osama Bin Laden once pinged me on Manhunt.

  21. PeteJayhawk v2.0

    It’s effect change, Jim.

    I hate myself for writing this and my God have mercy on my idiotic uptight soul.

  22. american mutt

    [re=55857]Spence[/re]: Yeah I need a wingman. All the male friends I have in the hood are either mostly married or too gay to help me pick up hags. Instead I went through a strip joint phase. was a regular at Cheetahs for a while…

  23. anabellum

    [re=55857]Spence[/re]: wait a minute…what about the fag stag hags?….who are there pretending to be fag hags, but are really there to bag the fake fag/fag stags?….

    and if one bags a fag hag, and then gags on a fag stag…does that make one a rag for fags/hags/and stags?…

    just asking…..

  24. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    MY FAMILY IS MUCH HAPPYER EATING AT WENDYS. THE SELECHUNS ARE BETTER AND WE HAVNT SEEN MANY QUEERS THEIR. THE COST IS RUFFLY THE SAME.

  25. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=55881]Spence[/re]: …hmmmmm, I may have to look into getting me a couple buddies of the homosexual persuasion. Next time a guy hits on me in the gym I will tell him I’m straight but if you want go out thats cool. Naaaahhhh, then I would look like one of those deeply closeted “straight” men that don’t think they are gay unless they swallow.

  26. Spence

    [re=55887]anabellum[/re]: Dammit, now I’m feeling confused about homosexuality, again!
    [re=55891]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You aren’t.

  27. DangerousLiberal

    [re=55889]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: But don’t they serve those gay-ass fogotcha sandwiches? Ain’t that word italian, i.e. old europe, i.e, gay the end.

  28. S.Luggo

    “… the company’s Big Mac hamburger sandwich helped lift same-store sales in the U.S. to a 6.7 per cent increase ,,,”
    The little baby Jesus weeps. Bob Allen behind his iron bars, not so much. He still pines for the Black Angus burger.

  29. lawrenceofthedesert

    This really isn’t about sexuality; it’s right-wing rage that there are only 51 Roy Rogers restaurants left, instead of the 650 there used to be.

    [re=55910]DangerousLiberal[/re]: “fogotcha sandwiches” is excellent.

  30. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=55928]S.Luggo[/re]: Yes but what you mean is that “same-store sales in the U.S. brought a 6.7 percent in same-sex marriage.”

  31. Landstander

    [re=55864]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “Are fag hags easy?” My friend, let me introduce you to a whole new world of easiness…

  32. Merry Christen

    Speaking as a part-time fag hag, I would not fall for the fag-stag approach. Dude, if you’re a guy and you’re at a gay bar, it had better be your gay brother’s birfday or you’re a closet case. I prefer to fag hag in my spare time, and go golfing with my uber-hetero suitors. Yeah, that’s right.

    Oh, and McDonald’s food sucks dick, so no wonder they’re gay. If I eat fast food, I eat Taco Bell – everyone knows Latinos are manly.

  33. populucious

    Due to a kerfuffle caused by hysterical jeebus nuts, America’s homosexuals, otherwise known as “teh gayz”, were made aware of the existence of this adorable retro little bistro known as “McDonalds”. Since it’s a well known fact that teh gayz are our nations arbiters of style and popularity, McDonalds has found itself thronged by trend seeking gayz and their loyal straight minions. Due to this edgy counter culture craze for such food as the “Big Mac” and “Happy Meals”, McDonald’s sales have shot through the roof. Soon we can expect to find this heretofore rare “quick-style” food emporium on every street corner in America. All thanks to Teh Gayz and Jeebus Nuts!

    God Bless America!!!

  34. TGY

    “Christians, let’s stop this giant from mocking God.”

    You’ve seen the new dish at McDonalds: “Egg McMockers”?

  35. valobama

    [re=55891]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: they are trying to seduce you. don’t go for it. Women look askance at guys that hang out with gay guys that are not related to them.

  36. Darehead

    And the Lord God commanded His followers, saying, Of every fast food thou mayest freely eat: But of the fast food of McDonalds, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

    –Genesis 2:16:

    And this explains why McDonalds tastes so much better now. Would you like some forbidden fries with your order?

  37. KevoTron

    [re=56025]valobama[/re]: [re=55959]Merry Christen[/re]: Unless the guys is out and Bi. At least….umm…that’s what my bisexual friend is always saying.

  38. Darehead

    Try going to the website of Americans for Truth, one of the fundie organizations sponsoring the McDee’s boycott. Then scroll down to the post on the boycott. Chances are you’ll be distracted by some pretty graphic pictures of Sodomites in action, which is why I can’t show the link here. But they need to show such images, they defensively argue, providing the crosslink with this warning:

    Be forewarned that if you go to this link it will be one of the most awful stories you have ever seen. But also know that you and the rest of America need to comprehend how far hedonistic homosexual extremists have pushed this nation — and how politicians like Mayor Gavin Newsom and Speaker Pelosi will go to almost any lengths to appease them. Tell your friends — especially anyone you know in California — to check out this disturbing report that shockingly reveals liberal “gay tolerance” as the perverse sham that it is.

    Mmmmmm, the forbidden fruitcakes. Besides, you deserve a break today!

  39. Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    I belong to a church group and a large family. I am going to tell my pastor and my churchmates that we must stop the homosexual agenda from invading our family values. I will also tell my family members – my father married his sister and has sixteen children by her plus another ten children by a cousin – that unless we stop eating Mickey Dee’s for breakfast, we are going to hell.

    I don’t care how many Russians invade Georgia, I will never darken the door of MacD. Barry Obama, you go to hell, this is all your fault! When John McCain and his purdy trollope wife Cindy are in the White House, I will order extra fries and a big milkshake in a bucket.

  40. Captain Swing

    [re=56067]Darehead[/re]: Yeah, I’ve always thought that Hamburglar dude was a bit strange- The mask, the cloak. I mean, can the ballgag and the restraints be far away?

    How lucky we are to have these self-appointed moral guardians to alert us to the true evils of the world.

    Can I have another Double Quarter Pounder, please…

  41. S. Cullen Bonz

    These people will be driven over the edge when they find out the McRib is made from pork butt.

  42. Darehead

    [re=56204]S. Cullen Bonz[/re]: They already were. McRib is NOMO. No butts about it. I take it you missed the farewell tour.

    [re=56157]Captain Swing[/re]: Touché with the Hamburglar!

  43. redblush

    ok, check out their youtube channel…one video is called Boycott McDonald’s 1…about 2:20 seconds in- yes, I actually watched this far- they have an impersonator of MLK doing some of one of his public comments on the Montgomery bus boycott. It’s astonishing. It reminds me of Steve Carrell’s character on the office doing Chris Rock…

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