BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S  5:15 pm August 8, 2008

McDonald’s Boycott An Opposite-Success!

by Jim Newell

Man, the Fundies sure have shown those queers at McDonald’s what happens when they start pushing the Gay Agenda: “CHICAGO–McDonald’s Corp said Friday that global sales at restaurants open at least 13 months rose 8 percent in July, as the key U.S. market posted its largest gain in five months.” A recession is not really a great time to affect change in the fast food industry with a boycott. Besides, we know all of these fat selfish mouth-breathers have been going to McDonald’s secretly, every day. [Reuters]

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columnv August 8, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Teh gheys made the recession

Cathangover August 8, 2008 at 5:24 pm

If he’s a giant, how big is that bomb?

polar_bear August 8, 2008 at 5:25 pm

That’s an 8% global increase of god-mocking.

AngryBlakGuy August 8, 2008 at 5:25 pm

…why don’t they do like the azzholes down here in Miami and hold the line-up at the counter/drive thru by acting like you have no idea what to order? Seriously, I hate those people; I mean you didn’t decide what you want to fukkin eat when you decided to go to McDonald?! I wish I could karate chop them in the back of the neck!!! Im sorry for the rant, but I didn’t get my happy meal toy today.

american mutt August 8, 2008 at 5:26 pm

There’s a McDs next to a gay bar I stop by sometimes. The homo-bar/McDs union is a match made in heaven.

columnv August 8, 2008 at 5:26 pm

I wonder if sales of anal lube are also up…

SayItWithWookies August 8, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Dear soi-disant David:

Goliath wins most of the time. That’s just never newsy enough to get in the Bible.

Yours in god-mockery,


shortsshortsshorts August 8, 2008 at 5:28 pm

“I ate at McDonalds all the time before I heard that they give $5 to a gay-rights group. I was so distraught I didn’t know what to do. Where would my loyalty lie? Would it be a multi-national corporation or Jeebus? After much consideration, I simply had to forsake God. Those burgers and fries were just way to good to pass up. At that point I lifted my “boy”cott and started fucking every dude I could find. They would penetrate me while I enjoyed a Big Mac, and it is was just so very majestic!
Boycott Gawd everyone, he hates your freedom fries…. oh and have lots of gay butsecks.”

Johnny Zhivago August 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm

MacDonalds, O’Bamas, brainless Morans….

Why do the Irish HATE AMERICA??

AngryBlakGuy August 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm

…these dogs should wait until their owner goes to sleep and then rip his/her throat out.

polar_bear August 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm

[re=55717]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: That was me in front of you trying to order an Arch Deluxe and a McRib

TicklePickle August 8, 2008 at 5:30 pm

You know what they say about the size of a man’s shoes? No wonder Ronald has all that extra room up near his loins.

mattbolt August 8, 2008 at 5:34 pm

What’s the difference between McDonald’s and Catholic priests?

Even McDonald’s wouldn’t put their meat in buns that were 12 years old.

InsidiousTuna August 8, 2008 at 5:35 pm

[re=55719]american mutt[/re]: 17th and Corcoran?

american mutt August 8, 2008 at 5:43 pm

[re=55742]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Fountain and Sunset.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 8, 2008 at 5:45 pm

[re=55742]InsidiousTuna[/re]: That would be ME

mattbolt August 8, 2008 at 5:47 pm

I love the comments section on the site, full of frumpy Jesus-loving housewives pounding their sausage-fingers on their keyboards trying to coherently string together both their fury at queers, and the disheartening idea of never eating a triple big mac again (well, not exactly – half the comments say “looks like I’ll be taking my family’s thousands of dollars of business to Burger King!”, so, no big loss there)

One dude’s going on about how the good Lord strikes down sinners, including McDonald’s, for supporting the sin of sodomy. Well, too bad sodomy isn’t one of the seven sin. Y’know what is? Gluttony! And I’m pretty sure all you fatasses bragging about all the money you used to spend at McDonald’s are guilty of that!

weirdiowasculpture August 8, 2008 at 5:59 pm

It’s all just a big misunderstanding. They walked into McDonalds one day and assumed all the projectile vomiting was Satan at work.

FunkyPalmettoBug August 8, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Yeah, I’ve been working it in the their bathrooms, that drove some people there…I think. At least they said they went there for the shakes…

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 8, 2008 at 6:09 pm

Just what exactly is on the Gay Agenda? I’ve been gay for at least 42 of my 52 years, but no one ever bothered to brief me.

DangerousLiberal August 8, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Sales are up because these lardasses are eating at BK, leaving more room in the seats for normal sized people. McD’s is even able to add more tables and chairs now that Porky McChristian is staying at home. Asshats.

BadNewsJack August 8, 2008 at 6:31 pm

I love it how religious people think they can make a difference. Poeple aer soo stupit

Spence August 8, 2008 at 6:34 pm

[re=55755]american mutt[/re]: Akbar is not a gay bar. It’s just for fag hags and the metrosexuals that love them…

american mutt August 8, 2008 at 6:38 pm

[re=55804]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: It should be evident. The Gay Agenda is to take over one of the world’s most well-known and valuable brands of their globally branded quick service restaurant segment of the informal eating-out market in virtually every country.

american mutt August 8, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=55834]Spence[/re]: Well, on an off night it seems like a gay bar. I don’t venture in when the fag hags are standing outside smoking. They scare me and I’m straight. Although… I could always pretend I’m gay and rub up against them and get away with it?

Spence August 8, 2008 at 6:50 pm

Yes. That’s called playing the “Fag Stag”, the gay-friendly straight guy who picks off the fag hags. If you ever need a ‘mo wingman, let me know. I live three blocks from Akbar.

Not_So_Much August 8, 2008 at 6:55 pm

[re=55834]Spence[/re]: I thought Akbar was the name of one of them there brown furner terririst fellers?

First the butt secks now the brown folk? God is going to smite us indeed…

AngryBlakGuy August 8, 2008 at 6:59 pm

[re=55857]Spence[/re]: …are fag hags easy? If so I’m riding shotgun!

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 8, 2008 at 7:21 pm

[re=55836]american mutt[/re]: Oh. OK, then I’m Lovin’ It.

Spence August 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm

[re=55864]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: All straight men, head my words. Nothing, I mean nothing, will get you more open-minded GGG ladyparts then hanging out with your GBF. Women love a man who is secure enough to be down with the gays, and they tend to get riled up at the gay bars by all that unavailable man-flesh. As long as you don’t actually make out with your gay buddy in front of her, you’re in like flynn.

Spence August 8, 2008 at 7:33 pm

[re=55861]Not_So_Much[/re]: All terrorists are gay. Osama Bin Laden once pinged me on Manhunt.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 August 8, 2008 at 7:35 pm

It’s effect change, Jim.

I hate myself for writing this and my God have mercy on my idiotic uptight soul.

american mutt August 8, 2008 at 7:37 pm

[re=55857]Spence[/re]: Yeah I need a wingman. All the male friends I have in the hood are either mostly married or too gay to help me pick up hags. Instead I went through a strip joint phase. was a regular at Cheetahs for a while…

anabellum August 8, 2008 at 7:43 pm

[re=55857]Spence[/re]: wait a minute…what about the fag stag hags?….who are there pretending to be fag hags, but are really there to bag the fake fag/fag stags?….

and if one bags a fag hag, and then gags on a fag stag…does that make one a rag for fags/hags/and stags?…

just asking…..

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 8, 2008 at 7:52 pm


AngryBlakGuy August 8, 2008 at 7:53 pm

[re=55881]Spence[/re]: …hmmmmm, I may have to look into getting me a couple buddies of the homosexual persuasion. Next time a guy hits on me in the gym I will tell him I’m straight but if you want go out thats cool. Naaaahhhh, then I would look like one of those deeply closeted “straight” men that don’t think they are gay unless they swallow.

Spence August 8, 2008 at 8:01 pm

[re=55887]anabellum[/re]: Dammit, now I’m feeling confused about homosexuality, again!
[re=55891]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You aren’t.

DangerousLiberal August 8, 2008 at 8:32 pm

[re=55889]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: But don’t they serve those gay-ass fogotcha sandwiches? Ain’t that word italian, i.e. old europe, i.e, gay the end.

S.Luggo August 8, 2008 at 9:48 pm

“… the company’s Big Mac hamburger sandwich helped lift same-store sales in the U.S. to a 6.7 per cent increase ,,,”
The little baby Jesus weeps. Bob Allen behind his iron bars, not so much. He still pines for the Black Angus burger.

lawrenceofthedesert August 8, 2008 at 10:11 pm

This really isn’t about sexuality; it’s right-wing rage that there are only 51 Roy Rogers restaurants left, instead of the 650 there used to be.

[re=55910]DangerousLiberal[/re]: “fogotcha sandwiches” is excellent.

shortsshortsshorts August 8, 2008 at 10:47 pm

[re=55928]S.Luggo[/re]: Yes but what you mean is that “same-store sales in the U.S. brought a 6.7 percent in same-sex marriage.”

Landstander August 8, 2008 at 11:10 pm

[re=55864]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “Are fag hags easy?” My friend, let me introduce you to a whole new world of easiness…

Merry Christen August 8, 2008 at 11:18 pm

Speaking as a part-time fag hag, I would not fall for the fag-stag approach. Dude, if you’re a guy and you’re at a gay bar, it had better be your gay brother’s birfday or you’re a closet case. I prefer to fag hag in my spare time, and go golfing with my uber-hetero suitors. Yeah, that’s right.

Oh, and McDonald’s food sucks dick, so no wonder they’re gay. If I eat fast food, I eat Taco Bell – everyone knows Latinos are manly.

Sabre_Justice August 8, 2008 at 11:30 pm

No good can come of gay clowns.

shortsshortsshorts August 8, 2008 at 11:40 pm

[re=55959]Merry Christen[/re]: Win.

populucious August 9, 2008 at 4:05 am

Due to a kerfuffle caused by hysterical jeebus nuts, America’s homosexuals, otherwise known as “teh gayz”, were made aware of the existence of this adorable retro little bistro known as “McDonalds”. Since it’s a well known fact that teh gayz are our nations arbiters of style and popularity, McDonalds has found itself thronged by trend seeking gayz and their loyal straight minions. Due to this edgy counter culture craze for such food as the “Big Mac” and “Happy Meals”, McDonald’s sales have shot through the roof. Soon we can expect to find this heretofore rare “quick-style” food emporium on every street corner in America. All thanks to Teh Gayz and Jeebus Nuts!

God Bless America!!!

TGY August 9, 2008 at 7:11 am

“Christians, let’s stop this giant from mocking God.”

You’ve seen the new dish at McDonalds: “Egg McMockers”?

valobama August 9, 2008 at 7:43 am

[re=55891]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: they are trying to seduce you. don’t go for it. Women look askance at guys that hang out with gay guys that are not related to them.

Darehead August 9, 2008 at 11:19 am

And the Lord God commanded His followers, saying, Of every fast food thou mayest freely eat: But of the fast food of McDonalds, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

–Genesis 2:16:

And this explains why McDonalds tastes so much better now. Would you like some forbidden fries with your order?

KevoTron August 9, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=56025]valobama[/re]: [re=55959]Merry Christen[/re]: Unless the guys is out and Bi. At least….umm…that’s what my bisexual friend is always saying.

Darehead August 9, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Try going to the website of Americans for Truth, one of the fundie organizations sponsoring the McDee’s boycott. Then scroll down to the post on the boycott. Chances are you’ll be distracted by some pretty graphic pictures of Sodomites in action, which is why I can’t show the link here. But they need to show such images, they defensively argue, providing the crosslink with this warning:

Be forewarned that if you go to this link it will be one of the most awful stories you have ever seen. But also know that you and the rest of America need to comprehend how far hedonistic homosexual extremists have pushed this nation — and how politicians like Mayor Gavin Newsom and Speaker Pelosi will go to almost any lengths to appease them. Tell your friends — especially anyone you know in California — to check out this disturbing report that shockingly reveals liberal “gay tolerance” as the perverse sham that it is.

Mmmmmm, the forbidden fruitcakes. Besides, you deserve a break today!

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 9, 2008 at 3:35 pm

I belong to a church group and a large family. I am going to tell my pastor and my churchmates that we must stop the homosexual agenda from invading our family values. I will also tell my family members – my father married his sister and has sixteen children by her plus another ten children by a cousin – that unless we stop eating Mickey Dee’s for breakfast, we are going to hell.

I don’t care how many Russians invade Georgia, I will never darken the door of MacD. Barry Obama, you go to hell, this is all your fault! When John McCain and his purdy trollope wife Cindy are in the White House, I will order extra fries and a big milkshake in a bucket.

zhubajie August 10, 2008 at 12:01 am

[re=55724]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Sit down to eat, rise up to “play”!

Captain Swing August 10, 2008 at 8:08 am

[re=56067]Darehead[/re]: Yeah, I’ve always thought that Hamburglar dude was a bit strange- The mask, the cloak. I mean, can the ballgag and the restraints be far away?

How lucky we are to have these self-appointed moral guardians to alert us to the true evils of the world.

Can I have another Double Quarter Pounder, please…

S. Cullen Bonz August 10, 2008 at 5:10 pm

These people will be driven over the edge when they find out the McRib is made from pork butt.

Darehead August 10, 2008 at 7:29 pm

[re=56204]S. Cullen Bonz[/re]: They already were. McRib is NOMO. No butts about it. I take it you missed the farewell tour.

[re=56157]Captain Swing[/re]: Touché with the Hamburglar!

redblush August 10, 2008 at 7:48 pm

ok, check out their youtube channel…one video is called Boycott McDonald’s 1…about 2:20 seconds in- yes, I actually watched this far- they have an impersonator of MLK doing some of one of his public comments on the Montgomery bus boycott. It’s astonishing. It reminds me of Steve Carrell’s character on the office doing Chris Rock…

Darehead August 10, 2008 at 8:46 pm


Yeah, if this is the one you meant. Also made by the same dudes who made the vid featured on this thread. Hyssss-terical. I like how they use the McDee’s “M” for sodoMy.

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