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CHEATERS

  • JOHN EDWARDS SAYS HE SEXED THAT GAL BUT IS NOT HER BABY DADDY: The former presidential candidate said yes, he had an affair with Rielle Hunter but no, he didn’t father her child or pay her hush money. Hmm. [ABC News]

3:17 PM on Fri August 8 2008
By Sara K. Smith
3183 Views

  1. valobama says at 3:21 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Hopey was right again. Wesley Calrk for VeeP!

  2. StripesAndPlaids says at 3:22 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I know I should be snarky about this, but really, it makes me sad.

  3. Fighting Bill says at 3:22 pm, August 8th, 2008

    “Ah did not have procreational sex with that woman, Miss Hunter.”

  4. Rickish says at 3:23 pm, August 8th, 2008

    You go, National Enquirer!

  5. SayItWithWookies says at 3:23 pm, August 8th, 2008

    And he didn’t know he was gonna be found out? Bad psychic.

  6. freakishlystrong says at 3:23 pm, August 8th, 2008

    “A former campaign aide, Andrew Young, has said he was the father of the child.”
    Whadda Whooore..and what’s her face is pretty slutty too…

  7. Fighting Bill says at 3:23 pm, August 8th, 2008

    “Ah did not have PROCREATIONAL sex with that filmmaker, Miss Hunter.”

  8. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:23 pm, August 8th, 2008

    WONKETTE ES WON CAUSE IT EATS TEH WHEATIES AND TOTALLY CALLED THIS.

    I am extremely proud of the Wonkette today. Fuck all who say otherwise.

    The end.

  9. Count Snarkula says at 3:23 pm, August 8th, 2008

    What a trollopy cunt!

  10. Nasara says at 3:24 pm, August 8th, 2008

    In his defense, cancer is a TOTAL turn off.

  11. 4tehlulz says at 3:25 pm, August 8th, 2008

    John McCain responded by announcing Edwards as his VP candidate, calling him “my kind of guy.”

  12. nietzscheprojectile says at 3:25 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Well, there goes his slot at the convention… What a dumbass.

  13. Fighting Bill says at 3:26 pm, August 8th, 2008

    “But mah waff was in remission, and Rielle is the daughter of a mee-ulll worker.”

  14. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:26 pm, August 8th, 2008
  15. Delicious says at 3:26 pm, August 8th, 2008

    What goes through a person’s mind who thinks he can run for president with this shit hanging out there?

    And his wife knew back in 2006, so she’s a liar, too.

  16. ForTheTurnstiles says at 3:27 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Maybe he was tired of Wendy’s?

    (or maybe he had permission?)

  17. Darehead says at 3:27 pm, August 8th, 2008

    nietzscheprojectile: What? Edwards can always get another slut at the convention.

  18. valobama says at 3:27 pm, August 8th, 2008

    but THAT HAIR!! GAWD Help ME I LUVVV That HAIR!!1

  19. pinko-commie says at 3:27 pm, August 8th, 2008

    News flash! Married man cannot keep it in his pants! Yawn.

    I’d like to see the news report that says, “Married politician considers having affair, but thinks better of it because he realizes he likely will be caught and it will ruin his political future.” There’s probably only one guy like that. Kucinich. His wife is hotter than any woman one would think he would be able to pull anyway.

  20. thefrontpage says at 3:27 pm, August 8th, 2008

    CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER!

    Good for them. It’s hilarious to watch the big networks and newspapers whimper in the wake of a major exclusive by The National Enquirer!! Hilarious.

    Bonus checks for everyone at the Enquirer!

    It ain’t the first time, though, that the Enquier has broken a major story. They do it all the time!

  21. Avantime says at 3:27 pm, August 8th, 2008

    National Enquirer = Gospel

  22. Vewol Mevemont says at 3:28 pm, August 8th, 2008

    He admits to having sex with her, but he’s not the baby’s father, and he hasn’t taken a paternity testm? I give up. This is too retarded for words.

  23. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:28 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Nothing in the title “Nation’s best Father” includes being a halfway decent husband. Who could blame him though, his loving wife contracted cancer, right? Right? RIGHT?

  24. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 3:28 pm, August 8th, 2008

    He wrapped his meat! As an HIV prevention advocate, I support that. You go, John Edwards!

  25. deviantdandy says at 3:28 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Smart move: waiting for the opening ceremonies and russian agression in Georgia to admit you nailed that chick.

    Bravo, John Edwards.

  26. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:29 pm, August 8th, 2008

    …I heard the pick-up line he used on her up was, “You know Im the son of a mill worker”

  27. Toonces says at 3:29 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Interesting day to announce it. It’s Friday (perfect day to dump bad news) and the Olympic opening ceremony is on the teevee tonight. As an added bonus, Russia invaded Georgia today. Yay!

  28. nietzscheprojectile says at 3:30 pm, August 8th, 2008

    “Edwards denied paying any money to Hunter to keep her from going public but said it was possible some of his friends or supporters may have made payments without telling him.” Oh for F&*k’s sake.

  29. Mumble Softly says at 3:30 pm, August 8th, 2008

    well , his wife was terminally ill and fat , just like McCain’s first wife, so I guess it was ok to sleep around. At least Edwards didnt kick the old missus to the curb like Johnny “angry dwarf” McCain did to his first wife.

    Oh when will this country ever learn that politicians are across the board vile scumbags.

    (goes back to ogling online porn)

  30. Beee Doop! says at 3:30 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Predictable, dropping this into the biggest news hole of the year. Wonder if he hopes no one will notice.

  31. Delicious says at 3:30 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Classic.

  32. Darehead says at 3:30 pm, August 8th, 2008

    but he did not love her…
    Yeah, I fucked her. But I did not have inappropriate elations with that woman, Rielle Hunter!

    Yeah, she fucked me, too. But she didn’t inhale.

  33. Larry Fine says at 3:30 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Isn’t it more amazing that Clay Aiken fathered a child?

  34. freakishlystrong says at 3:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Please baby Jebus, NO press conference forcing Elizabeth to “stand by her man”, it’s demoralizing..

  35. Delicious says at 3:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    The video, I mean.

  36. ManchuCandidate says at 3:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Rielle Hunter

    She was more like a new age queen from the artsy scene
    I said don’t mind, but what do you mean I am the one
    Who will talk about the Mill on the road
    She said I am the one, who will talk about the Mill on the road

    She told me her name was Reille H, as she caused a scene
    Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
    Who will talk about the Mill on the road

    People always told me be careful of what you do
    And don’t go around sexing cougars’ hearts
    And mother always told me be careful of who you love
    And be careful of what you do ’cause the lie becomes the truth

    Reille H was just my lover
    She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
    But her kid is not my one
    She says I am the one, but the kid is not my one

  37. nietzscheprojectile says at 3:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Darehead: So there’s hope! Yay.

  38. StripesAndPlaids says at 3:31 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I believe that having sex with somebody other than your spouse while said spouse is sick is known as “popping a Gingrich.”

  39. V572625694 says at 3:32 pm, August 8th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: That’s what Newt said. And everyone respects him.

  40. american mutt says at 3:32 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I’m waiting for the “not the baby daddy” headline followed by a photo of Edwards in blackface.

  41. ColdCupofHope says at 3:33 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Perhaps this Hunter gal will finally be able to tell us if the curtains match the $400 drapes?

  42. 4tehlulz says at 3:33 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Larry Fine: Sperm banks don’t count.

  43. superfecta says at 3:34 pm, August 8th, 2008

    It’s announced the same day as the birth of Clay Aiken’s child. Coincidence? I sense darker forces at work.

  44. Obamaton says at 3:34 pm, August 8th, 2008

    ForTheTurnstiles: I have known situations where, due to medical constraints, one partner could not partake, but released the other to do so. I even know of one situation where the third party was recruited by the unable partner. But, lets not talk about the Cli…

  45. Doglessliberal says at 3:34 pm, August 8th, 2008

    pinko-commie: Oh, I think Hopey fits that category, too. I cannot see him stepping out on Michelle. (If for no other reason than she’d castrate him)

  46. nietzscheprojectile says at 3:34 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Darehead: It’s like the Eddie Murphy bit - “yeah, I fucked her, but I make looove to you, baby.” Just.so.charming.

  47. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez says at 3:34 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Cable news seems to have its panties in a twist over this. Finally, something to report on!

  48. ManchuCandidate says at 3:35 pm, August 8th, 2008

    StripesAndPlaids:
    Only a half Newt. For the full Newt he’s got to leave her, too.

  49. InsidiousTuna says at 3:35 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Uh-oh…

  50. valobama says at 3:38 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: I’ve been stuck on those Maury videos. too funny.

  51. GlennBecksTaint says at 3:38 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I guess that Clinton-Edwards 2012 dream ticket will have to be cancelled.

  52. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:38 pm, August 8th, 2008

    …I’m gonna to call this right now:

    FAUX news will make a “mistake” and use Barack Obama’s photo/name instead of John Edward when reporting this news.

  53. DemmeFatale says at 3:39 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Salt-peter for everybody!

  54. Sussemilch says at 3:40 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I thought this was just a made-up rumor that he couldn’t dodge, you mean there’s actually truth to this?

  55. Monkey says at 3:40 pm, August 8th, 2008

    It’s my baby.

  56. NoWireHangers says at 3:40 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Fuuuuuuck.

    Well, John. AND your wife has cancer…You are so totally fucked.

  57. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:41 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: HA!
    “Is John Edwards…. a terrorist?”

  58. freakishlystrong says at 3:41 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: I wonder if they have any stock photos of Michelle throwing a shoe? I can’t watch the Fux without throwing one of my own.

  59. Darehead says at 3:42 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: And they will somehow slip in the word, “polygamist” and/or “Muslim”

  60. columnv says at 3:42 pm, August 8th, 2008

    The two Americas are evidently his two nuts.

  61. ForTheTurnstiles says at 3:42 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Obamaton: That’s what I’m getting at. I totally doubt it in the case of any politician but it’s happened with people I know.

  62. NoWireHangers says at 3:43 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: God, I love Maury. That’s the only bad part about being employed, no daily dose of obese children, paternity testing, affair lie-detector revelations.

    Oh, wait, that’s what Wonkette is for.

  63. American Spectator says at 3:46 pm, August 8th, 2008

    No wonder he’s so big on the Two Americas - He could just say he TOTALLY forgot his wife was dying of cancer in the other America; he was in the America where he had just plain ol’ girlfriend.

  64. 4tehlulz says at 3:46 pm, August 8th, 2008

    freakishlystrong: I think they can get Photoshop, or outsource the job to the Iranians to cook up.

  65. graceless says at 3:48 pm, August 8th, 2008

    This is worse than Bill Clinton’s conduct because?

  66. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:48 pm, August 8th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: …dont forget about the wild, out of control sex crazed teens!

  67. Vewol Mevemont says at 3:48 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Darehead: That’s what makes it all good. I fucked her left and right, but nah, I don’t care about her. Whore. And I ain’t payin’ child support! Motherfucker!

  68. Dissento says at 3:48 pm, August 8th, 2008

    What disappoints me the most about this story is that the National Enquirer was right. Fuck.

    Heeeeeyyyy, maybe this means that Laura Bush really does beat George when he gets drunk!

  69. problemwithcaring says at 3:49 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Is there an Oscar of Whore Diamonds? A Medal of Whore Diamond Freedom?

  70. Dissento says at 3:50 pm, August 8th, 2008

    No, no, no… that was a lie too. There are actually three Americas, not two. What a fucking liar!

  71. El Bombastico says at 3:51 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Mickey Kaus gets two desserts today in the Slate cafeteria! Mrs. Kaus is gonna get it tonight!

  72. graceless says at 3:51 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Bill Clinton had many affairs, he’s still speaking at the convention. What’s the difference?

  73. WadISay says at 3:51 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Stage 1. I did not make a sexy time with that woman, Ms. Hunter.
    Stage 2. Alright, I made a sexy time, but I’m not the father.
    Stage 3. OK, so I’m the father. But I never loved her.
    Stage 4. Rielle, you’re my everything.

  74. freakishlystrong says at 3:52 pm, August 8th, 2008

    graceless: Bill’s wife is a pantsuited gorgon? And doesn’t have the Big C?

  75. Dissento says at 3:52 pm, August 8th, 2008

    graceless: Clinton had the decency and smarts to win first, get caught later.

  76. freakishlystrong says at 3:52 pm, August 8th, 2008

    And I mean CANCER Wonkers!

  77. Voyou Charmant says at 3:53 pm, August 8th, 2008

    StripesAndPlaids: backed 100%

  78. Dissento says at 3:55 pm, August 8th, 2008

    And not to be crass, but 42 and having a baby…? Was Planned Parenthood closed?

  79. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez says at 3:56 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Larry Craig is going to be very indignant about this.

  80. PrairiePossum says at 3:56 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Bill Clinton and John Edwards are going to have a great time prowling the Denver titty bars.

  81. El Bombastico says at 3:56 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Sexytime aside, this is the greatest Friday afternoon news dump of all time. Announce it Friday afternoon… In August… The day of the freakin’ opening ceremony of the Olympics… On Nightline, broadcast against the Olympic coverage… No one will watch it. He is a genius.

  82. 4tehlulz says at 3:57 pm, August 8th, 2008

    El Bombastico: Looks like Mickey’s getting a double portion of goat meat stick.

  83. ReverendGreen says at 3:58 pm, August 8th, 2008

    deviantdandy: Yeah, except news coverage on those two stories will stop because SEX STORY ON TEH TEEVEE NEWZ.

  84. Aurelio says at 3:58 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Delicious: I don’t begrudge him a little pussy. But running for President (and Vice President) with an alleged bastard child? Did he think this wouldn’t come out? What a total MORAN!

  85. OuterBoroughPrincess says at 3:58 pm, August 8th, 2008

    I like the part where he says he didn’t love her. Nice. Is there any chance this kid won’t grow up to be a serial killer?

    “I fucked her, baby. But, I *make love* to you.” I guess the real newsflash is that John Edwards is a 19 year-old college sophomore.

  86. YOU ARE……… NOT THE FATHER!!

  87. Doglessliberal says at 3:59 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Dissento: apparently birth control and abortion are forbidden concepts these days. If we talk about the former, it will make teenagers have sex. If we talk about the latter, thr Bush Admin will cut all funding to all family planning groups, and God will kill us all.

  88. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 3:59 pm, August 8th, 2008

    If Edwards were a Republican, he would have been fucking Hunter’s kid instead.

  89. Aurelio says at 3:59 pm, August 8th, 2008

    El Bombastico: “No one will watch it.” Wanna bet? Look how many hits this story is getting by sophisticated elite Wonkette readers? How much more so by ordinary Americans?

  90. valobama says at 4:00 pm, August 8th, 2008

    NoWireHangers: I was thinking that very thing. The blue collar hard working guys pack the break room at Maury time. Of course, I’m stuck with you guys… I mean working.

  91. I’m really pulling for a Maury show special.

  92. Not_So_Much says at 4:01 pm, August 8th, 2008

    So stupid. He and Spitzer both. Nothing but upside until they lost control of their weinerz…

    Why not just be like the rest of us and abuse yourself to the American Apparel ad? Virtually no risk to one’s future — well, other than possible electrocution….

    I mean, I read that in an article somewhere….

  93. Doglessliberal says at 4:01 pm, August 8th, 2008

    El Bombastico: Well, the man was a trial lawyer. You learn how to best pull the sting on bad facts (or you should if you are a good one, and Edwards apparently was). He mangled this one by waiting, but yes, he has now gotten control back of the story. It will fizzle very soon.

  94. El Bombastico says at 4:02 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Aurelio: Hmmm… good point. NBC execs must be crapping themselves right now, and fighting the urge to firebomb ABC. How could anyone forego an interpretive dance by 2008 Chinese schoolchildren to watch this claptrap?

  95. S.Luggo says at 4:03 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Fighting Bill: If no penis-inserted-into-vajinga sex, this leaves what?

  96. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 4:04 pm, August 8th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: The stock footage Fox News will use will be the one featuring Edwards endorsing Obama.

  97. Doglessliberal says at 4:04 pm, August 8th, 2008

    OuterBoroughPrincess: interesting, I had the same reaction. It was TMI. I thought he should have said “I did it, the child is not mine, no more questions, bye”. I thought the gratutious statement was pretty nasty. Then my husband noted it might have been for Elizabeth. Public admission he never left her emotionally, etc, etc. I think that might be right. This was her price.

  98. Aurelio says at 4:04 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: “It will fizzle very soon.” I don’t think so. Now Edwards has opened a new door with the “payments unbeknownst to me.” Deeper and deeper.

  99. tunamelt says at 4:04 pm, August 8th, 2008

    El Bombastico: PRSA should give him a medal.

  100. Political Addict says at 4:07 pm, August 8th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Maybe he didn’t inhale.

  101. TicklePickle says at 4:07 pm, August 8th, 2008

    For Christ’s sake! Can’t any Democratic politician do it the right way. Hire some ho off the street, fuck her, then dump the body in an unmarked grave. Easy Cheezy!

  102. Doglessliberal says at 4:08 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Aurelio: ah, true, the money thing coupled, no pun intended, with the sex thing might give it legs.

  103. Dave J. says at 4:09 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Old John Edwards: “I’m the son of a mill worker!”
    New John Edwards, “Son, I will work her!”

  104. El Bombastico says at 4:09 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Ambinder is reporting that Elizabeth will have a prime speaking spot at the convention, and John will not attend. That will be… ummm… interesting to say the least.

  105. OuterBoroughPrincess says at 4:09 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: I can’t decide if that makes it better or worse . . . either he loved her, or he’s a soulless whore. It’s kind of a toss up.

    Plus, how did he think this wouldn’t have come out if he were the nominee? Thats bananas.

  106. S.Luggo says at 4:10 pm, August 8th, 2008

    “Edwards made a point of telling Woodruff that his wife’s cancer was in remission when he began the affair with Hunter.”

    You just had to go into remission, didn’t you, Elzabeth? Didn’t you? She what you’ve caused, you selfish bitch.
    — The former Mrs. Newt Gingrich

  107. Fata Morgana says at 4:11 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Aurelio:

    Did you say Sophisticated Wonkette Readers?

    Heh. Heheheheh. BWAHAHAHA.

    Talk about an oxymoron!

  108. Dave J. says at 4:11 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Seriously, Edwards, go nail some hooker or stripper if you need to stick it in something. But this crazy hippie lady? To me, that’s the most shocking part of this whole thing.

  109. El Bombastico says at 4:12 pm, August 8th, 2008

    OuterBoroughPrincess: Ben Smith has this classic quote:

    A former aide is more understanding of his deceit: “He was running for president. What’s he supposed to do? Admit it?”

    How ’bout don’t run for President you duplicitous d’bag!

  110. Doglessliberal says at 4:13 pm, August 8th, 2008

    OuterBoroughPrincess: it’s hubris. I get that people make mistakes, have affairs, but yeah, the fact that he then was seriously running and didn’t think this would emerge is hard to fathom. He was blinded by the idea of winning, maybe. Who knows.

  111. Truculent says at 4:13 pm, August 8th, 2008

    Somewhere, Bill Clinton is secretly smiling

  112. Gopherit v2.0