Wonkette
A leaked McCain campaign memo outlines the Republican candidate’s bold plan for the American economy. It goes something like this: WAR WAR WAR WAR TAXCUTS WAR. Applying some valuable lessons from our adventure in Iraq, the McCain economic “surge” will ferret out the last weakened remnants of the American economy and wage a bitter street-by-street countereconomic strategy until, in the end, we will be able to hand over stewardship of a penniless nation to our grateful children and grandchildren.
OK for reals here are the three “big ideas” behind the McCain strategy, according to McCain communications adviser Taylor Griffin:
1. McCain understands the economic problems of ordinary Americans. Barack Obama does not.
2. McCain understands that the situation is urgent.
3. McCain’s “Jobs for America” plan is superior.
Hmm, seems like two of the prongs on the three-pronged strategy involve John McCain “understanding” things. Is America ready for such fearless leadership?
McCain document outlines economic strategy [Jonathan Martin]
>>“Jobs for America”
So that’s the new euphemism for “conscription”.
We must do this in order to fight back against Al Qaida In Tha Economy. Since this war began, Al Qaida In Tha Economy have taken up root among the population, infiltrating our housing and mortgage industries with suicide mortgage failures. By changing our strategy and focusing on fighting Al Qaida In Tha Economy, we can win by winning, and since we have won already our path to victory is much more secure if we commit ourselves to victory, and not to defeat, as the Democrats would of course do.
I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…so I’ll work harder…so I can make more money…so I can buy more drugs…
I do like that they’re looking for “All Star Economists” who could make the “intellectual case for the McCain plan.” Anyone who could do that would definitely qualify for All Star status.
(Yes, I know, you’re thinking he should maybe have been looking for help from economists back when the plan was being created. Sorry, but that’s not how this maverick rolls.)
This will turn out well
The US America War on Unemployment, another war Walnuts doesn’t understand.
Talk about an empty suit. How is this guy being taken seriously. I mean look at him. He doesn’t know how to troll. He IS a troll!
i’m sure his economic plan took hours to formulate.
1. Barack is not like us.
2. Barack is not like us.
3. Profit!
Yay! it’s back to being “Meet your meat”!
McCain has seen the future. It’s a diaper strewn endless war on terror with tax cuts future. Dog help us.
I’m sure Americans will sleep soundly in one another’s beds knowning that plans like these ferment in the heads of our prospective leaders.
“Raising taxes in a bad economy is about the worst thing you can do because it will kill even more jobs when what we need are policies that create jobs.” said McCain.
trophy(forparticipation)wife:
¿Que?
And how many fears must one man have,
before he can hear people lie ?
And how many job losses til we know,
that not enough potatoes have been fried?
The answer, my friends, is surging in the wars
the answer is surging in the wars
ManchuCandidate: Why would he? This Quadruple-Dipper has never received a pay check from any entity other than the US Government since he was 18 or 19 years old.
Goody! I can’t wait for a Republican administration to make everything right again.
Servo: and then your teeth fall out!
“Discussing the need to take more of a populist tack, Griffin notes that voters “are tired of big corporations, lobbyist and special interests who they feel prosper at their expense.”
So they’re going to make people believe that the Republicans are going to toss big corporations, lobbyist and special interests overboard and take care of ‘ordinary people’? What kind of drugs are they going to hand out to achieve this belief?
If Bush pulls out troops from Iraq, will McCain send them back?
BAGHDAD (AP) - Iraq and the U.S. are near an agreement on all American combat troops leaving Iraq by October 2010, with the last soldiers out three years after that, two Iraqi officials told The Associated Press on Thursday. U.S. officials, however, insisted no dates had been agreed.
The proposed agreement calls for Americans to hand over parts of Baghdad’s Green Zone - where the U.S. Embassy is located - to the Iraqis by the end of 2008. It would also remove U.S. forces from Iraqi cities by June 30, 2009, according to the two senior officials, both close to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and familiar with the negotiations.
JamesMichaelCurley: Except for his allowance checks from Cindy.
I know I sound superficial , but I barely get past his appearance to listen to him. And those creepy mannerisms ewwwwww. I can picture him standing next to any world leader without envisioning the look of, not respect, but disgust. loathing . just eeeewwwww
You know, I’ve been thinking over that 4 dollars a buck comment from when John McCain introduced Kid Rock at the Annual Tattoo and Gang Rape Festival in beautiful Sturgis, South Dakota, and I’ve realized why I found it so disturbing.
The thing is, McCain spends his time with Congresspeople, lawyers,lobbyists, accountants and gazillionaires just like him. Their slang term for dollars is dollars. It has a nice ring to it if you have a lot of them. But no doubt he spent a lot of time with speechwriters and political consultants prior to taking the stage, in front of the largest crowd he’s had this campaign season, and they no doubt told him “the common people call it a buck, sir. Say ‘four bucks a gallon’, not four dollars a gallon. And even though he’d practiced it again and again, in front of a mirror, in front of Cindy and Meghan, he still couldn’t get it right.
One of us, my ass.
*can’t
and when he even says surge I want to puke let alone explain what the hell a surge is. I picture him surging and i just….just…. ewwwwww
Yeah boy howdy, we need more tax cuts! Because the Bush tax cuts made the economy soar into uncharted heights…oh wait.
lilblackcorvette:
He does resemble something that I would find in a pond life field guide. It must be that frog belly white skin.
The surge strategy is golden. Look, we simply load up a few dozen C-130s with pallets of cash, right? We spread it around to all the CEOs if they limit their layoffs for a few months. Not totally end the layoffs, mind you. I mean, who could do that? But reduce the losses to an acceptable number so we can declare victory and get out.
Servo: Is that you, Cindy?
God, McCain looks sexy in that picture.
Servo: you’ve seen his belly skin? RRRRAALPH! EEEARRRRRLLL!!!
gurukalehuru: I just watched that video and I can’t stop laughing. Walnuts! is going to win and the country is going to hell, but I still can’t stop laughing.
I’m guess I’m kinda like Cindy. Anything to ease the pain…
We await your orders, John McCain. http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=5219&rendTypeId=4
Shoes for Industry!
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Times are tuff for teh little brown gehs? Call Vernon and you guys can console each other.
My friends,
John McCain has a comprehensive economic plan that will create millions of good American jobs, ensure our nation’s energy security, get the government’s budget and spending practices in order, and bring relief to American consumers. Click to learn how the McCain Economic Plan will help bring reform, prosperity and peace to America.
Check! Off to Daily Kos…
lilblackcorvette:
Purely speculative, I assure you. Considering that the skin exposed to sunlight is as white as a corpse.
I apologize to all whose lunch I have spoiled.
I say, there, Senator Jack-off McC-dude,
Take yer Stupid Splurging on Surges up to Sturgis and let the Turgid Tattooed Turds Pick yer Patriotic Pockets and Pickle up yer Pathetic Pecker!
Oh, and leave your wife and daughter out of it!
Darehead: My newly expelled chunks thank you for that imagery.
I’ll say it again, McCain could save himself a lot of hard thinking if he would just go and pick an economic whiz for VP like Carly Fiorina.
It would “[d]raw the parallel with the same kind of bold leadership that McCain demonstrated in pushing the surge strategy that allowed us to win in Iraq,’ Griffin writes.
Captain Queeg, there’s a quart of strawberries on line 2.
We just posted ringtone-ready audio from McCain’s “economic surge” announcement over at Entertonement: http://entertonement.com/clips?keywords=economic+surge
TaraAriano: Right. Call me when you have the Hamdan verdict.
In other news, immediately after McCain’s inauguration he will be captured by Goldman Sachs jungle operatives and repeatedly sodomized for six years by Robert Rubin. Each day, Mark Salter will send out vitriol-laced missives about how we’re winning, we cannot allow our important gains to be reversed, and that the surge (of Robert Rubin’s penis) is working. A great victory for patriotic Americans, because McCain Knows How To Win Wars.
C(o)unt(ry) First.
Politcal speech-writing is a lot like Scrabble. You have to work with the tiles you hold. Without iraQ in your douchebag of tricks, you lose green Zone, al Queda, Kirkuk, Uum Qasr. IraQ is very strong in Z’s and Q’s, with many opportunities to play your surplus vowels.
4) John McCain is aware of the internet.
What’s the turtle pic got to do with any of this?
Listen, I’m as tired as the rest of you are about having to pay four dollar-bucks at the lever-pump for petrol-gas, but this sounds (and smells) like bull-shit.
John McCain threatens to make the economy as successful as Iraq.
Also, when does the McCain presidency plan on an invasion of Mexico? It’s time we got our revenge on Montezuma.
I didn’t know that all you have to do to fix the economy is understand it. PROBLEM SOLVED!!!! Cake, Ice cream, whores and abortions for all!!!!
Servo: Speaking of spoiled, it probably has the colour of too-old milk. You know, bone-white with a light greenish undertone. It probably glows in the dark, too.
BadNewsJack: Awesome! I love ice cream and abortions!
It would “[d]raw the parallel with the same kind of bold leadership that McCain demonstrated in pushing the surge strategy that allowed us to win in Iraq”
We won in Iraq? Awesome! Mission accomplished!
Ouch. That photo ranks up there with Michael Dukakis’s tank helmet. Looks like he’s got his flak apron on in case one of the hamburgers he’s barbecueing explodes. You can never be too careful…