Wonkette
- Oh look at that the Olympics have started in Beijing. [New York Times]
- Democratic advisers are trying to broker a compromise before the National Convention so that Hilltards will not make an even bigger embarrassment of themselves. [Washington Post]
- People are renting out their houses in Denver for buckets of money during the convention. [Wall Street Journal]
- The criteria for selecting a running mate boils down to this: Who will offend the fewest voters? [Los Angeles Times]
- After all that hullabaloo with the trial of Osama bin Laden’s driver, he gets sentenced to five and a half years. With some credit for time served, that means he could complete his sentence in five months. Why does the panel of military officers who determined the sentence hate America? [New York Times]
Ooh, no more lady swimsuit - we get the underwear 3some. Way to go, American Apparel.
NASCAR is thinking of recuting Osama’s driver in a new promotional event.
“Democratic advisers are trying to broker a compromise before the National Convention so that Hilltards will not make an even bigger embarrassment of themselves.”
Uh-huh. Well, best of luck with that. Though you may wish to start with something smaller and more easily achievable… cure for cancer maybe?
Oh, when, oh, when, will the mating season ever end?
Family-valuzin’ fundies sittin’ on the fence are so flummoxed! If McCainabee duddn’t cum to be, they’re going to swarm the Paultard Revolution!
I remember when I was fleeing lower Manhattan on September 11, pausing briefly to watch one of the smoldering twin towers collapse thirty blocks downtown, walking because all the subways were shut down, and thinking, “Man, I sure hope they get the guy who drove the car of the guy who did this and put him to death!”
Larry McAwful: Hollywood folks started working on a film called “Driving Mistah Osama” — when it comes out we’ll all learn the truth!
Six months for the driver for what, vehicular homicide?
I hear the Straight Talk Express is looking for a new driver. Maybe Hamdan can get early release and take the job. Driving in Miami can’t be much harder than dodging rocket fire for bin Laden.
Considering the location with the highest Hilltard density, I sincerely doubt any of them can afford a trip to Denver, much less find their way through an airport or train station.
Larry Fine: As part of the Harlequin NASCAR romance series? I’m sure he’s exotique.
WadISay: No - I think the actual charge they got him on was “Driving without Insurance”.
trophy(forparticipation)wife:
For the cover they’ll Photoshop a Muslim’s face onto Fabio’s bod.
Five and a half years? That’s the same amount of time John McCain spent in a Vietnamese prison camp. He didn’t get early release though. He refused it because he didn’t want to abandon his fellow captives, despite constant torure.
Okay, seriously now…does anyone who’s over the age of 11 (and not engaged in some game from Mcdonald’s or something) give two rat shits about the olympics?
Five and a half years is what you get for an unpaid parking ticket, these days.
I suppose he could’ve been more pro-active if he had threatened to ‘turn this car around’ unless Bin Laden knocked off all the terrorism.
Hopey’s got a battle on his hands. He’s up against two candidates: Hillary and McCain. Oh Well, out comes the check book.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Spanking torure
spanking torure, spanking over lap, spanking in woodshed paddle … spanking torure: p.m. PT More Headlines BLOGS Breaking News spanking torure Business Technology Industry Science …
redddreams.net/hot/spanking-torure
Well I’m disgusted with Russia for RUINING China’s big happy news day, that they have been planning for months, by bombing Georgia. “Ignore China, look at us, we’re bombing things! We’re sending tanks in too! It’s an invasion!”
Medvedev is a total Attention Queen.
lilblackcorvette: Dagnabit! When is Wonkette going to install a spellcheck so we illiterate McCainites can string an intelligible sentence together.
Larry Fine: OMG are you from Philadelphia?
I’m gone for two days and SWIM is replaced by this!!??
An “ironic” threesome manwich, where the dude is a pasty, purple panty wearing, porn-stache havin’ frat boy with a couple of anorexic gals!?
Bow-chick-a-bow-bow.
Darehead: so, canmon reveals his true colors with the mere mention of the old spanking torure. I AM THE MISTRESS of the wrinkly, white haired, demographic!
DemmeFatale: You went to Oral Roberts, too?
Larry McAwful: Or better yet, give him time served plus five months. Ha ha ha, just kidding. You’re stuck in Gitmo forever, buddy!
So Hamdan’s sentence will end the day after the inauguration? I guess you don’t get to be a “senior military officer” without a pretty keen eye for politics.
BobLoblawLawBlog: We love the Olympics because we love our flag. Our flag is better than the Chinese flag because we have more steroid-fueled spoiled-baby professional hurdle-jumpers than they do. USA!!!1@! USA!!1!
After the news about Hamdan, I’ll bet Dubya’s driver is the most relieved person in the administration today.
Canmon (the Inadequate): To be fair, McCain and his fellow captives were at least on the same side. And they were part of an actual military operation. The Guantanamo captives… not so much.
However, both McCain and his fellow captives got the same quality justice that the Guantanamo captives did, so the Bush administration’s aspirations to have a Justice Department of the same quality as that of North Vietnam made great strides in the past few years.
The veep-stakes story has this winner quote, about picking Romney for running mate:
“The right wing would go crazy,” the lobbyist said.
Shouldn’t that be: “The right wing would go crazy-er……”????
V572625694:
Yea, but this year our Olympic Theme is all about the Darfur.
They even picked a Sudanese refugee to be the official Olympic American Flag Bearer.
Those radical US athletes.
BobLoblawLawBlog: I really hope USA can get the gold medal in organ-harvesting-from-political-prisoners.
It’s about ideals, and truth, and M&Ms and shit.
Oh, and I forgot: The 2-headed beast that is HillBilly Clinton is back! I have the feeling the Hillz side will start the keynote address Barry’s being forced to give her by saying, “Hey, Dems Why so serious?” She will then cackle and unleash Lanny Davis, Terry McAuliffe, and Bill to tear the place up. Bill, of course, will beeline to some fat chick; Terry will hit the bar; and Lanny will start silently stalking other speakers. God, I wish I could make it to Denver.