Related video

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

33 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    I’m pretty sure that McCain’s handlers are looking forward to Juan looking confused and befuddled while asking “I hope that’s not Shepards Pie in my pants.”

  2. weirdiowasculpture

    Are we sure McCain’s bus was involved? Did the forensic people find any applesauce jars rolling around on the median strip?

  3. jagorev

    See, this is what happens when you try to run against a Shark-god worshipping secret Muslim. They put black magic voodoo spells on your bus.

  4. The Real JR Revisted

    Sara, you’re hilarious… I actually had to walk away from my desk to contain myself. lol.

  5. weirdiowasculpture

    For those of you who are noticing for the first time, we’re calling the Stripy Sox Buttsex Threesome to my left “Brittany, Brad, and Jennifer.”

  6. iwillsavethispatient

    Some days, you guys at Wonkette have to work hard for your stories. Today, it seems is not one of those days.

  7. AngryBlakGuy

    …geez John McCain is really on a rampage! Next thing you know he is going to stab someone to death in the back of the “Straight Talk Express” and decapitate there lifeless corpse.

  8. mr.november

    [re=54312]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: “Depends” on your definition of apple sauce jars.

  9. Uncle Al

    I see there’s an entire category of adult-diaper stories on Wonkette. It has its own tag. But I’m afraid to click on it.

  10. lumpenprole

    There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling not to crap our pants, and hold it in; each of us, despite the pressure, focused on clenching, and patiently awaiting the next load of adult diapers from campaign HQ.

  11. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    I love that this is the first story I come back to on Wonkette today.

    It took authorities several hours to clean up the mess

    ::Snicker, snicker::

  12. Serolf Divad

    [re=54320]The Real JR Revisted[/re]:

    Sorry, that doesn’t work. I’ve tried but she still wont PM me.

  13. WadISay

    Rovian SOP calls for accusing your opponent of your own weaknesses. Thus McCain’s next ad will accuse Obama of careless bus driving.

  14. masterdebater

    I guess no one complained about the aluminum foil hats because they were recyclable?

  15. Texan Bulldoggette

    Hmmm…some other possible culprits:

    1. George Sr & Barbara–who crap their pants at the thought of Jr.’s legacy
    2. Roger Clements–who wears them to hide injection marks in his buttocks
    3. Any member of the citizenry, who wakes up & realizes: “Oh holy hell, I live in Houston!”

  16. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    Do they even make adult diapers wide enough to fit on Houstonian asses?

  17. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    [re=54325]iwillsavethispatient[/re]:
    So true. For a while there a lot of the Walnuts stories seemed to be getting a bit boring, but damn, he really stepped it up in the past day or two with Miss Buffalo Chip, Tire Gauge-gate, “senior” moments on the road, etc.

  18. sezme

    [re=54315]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Nurse! I believe I need to be changed!
    [re=54369]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: Not to mention Hiltongate

  19. cynbot

    You know, McCain wouldn’t look so weirdly bottom-heavy at biker rallies if he just used an enormous butt tampon instead of diapers.

  20. loudmouthredhead

    Is that the Straight Talk Express equivalent of trucker bombs? I mean, is it really THAT urgent that they don’t stop at all between town hall meetings?

    Anyone else imagine a car commercial for electronic stability control featuring one of those improbable, almost-accident situations? Except in this case, you’re not dodging lumber falling off a big rig, but diaper bombs flying off a rampaging mobile command center/retirement castle.

  21. loudmouthredhead

    [re=54372]cynbot[/re]: Wait, but then wouldn’t he risk getting plugged up, forcing the crap to start shooting out of his mouth? Oh, wait…

  22. loudmouthredhead

    Well, we can certainly tell its a GOP news item: once again, they’re shittin’ on the little guys (and gals, and deer, and bunnies, and varmints by the side of the road)

  23. Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    I suspect that if those “diapers” were examined in a proper laboratory they would be shown to container pods of space lizard eggs, hundreds and hundreds of them. Only the red cloud of the invasion fleet – steered from Earth by “Cindy” McSame from her airborne “private plane” command post – prevents our being completely overrun by hybrid Juan-lizards.

    The Sturgis motorcycle event was only a precursor of more to come. The last thing America wants is for Mrs McSame to start peeling off her fake human skin and exposing that red lizard body underneath!

  24. J-Man

    So, is it true that David Vitter was driving by, screeched to a halt, and jumped out of his car screaming, “Oh boy–BUFFET!”

Comments are closed.