• May 26, 2012

Republican Missouri State Rep. Caught Banging 14-Year-Old

by Jim Newell  1:33 pm August 7, 2008

“JEFFERSON CITY — Missouri state Rep. Scott Muschany, R-Frontenac, was indicted today in connection with a reported sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl on May 17, the day after this year’s Legislative session ended.” What, were all the 14-year-old boys already taken by the other celebrating Republican legislators?

According to the 14-year-old girl’s brother, their mother — a state employee — has been fucking Muschany for a couple of years now. In other words, Muschany was working an old college trick: get with the fug roommate and then move on to the hot roommate. Although in this case the fug roommate is an adult woman, and the hot roommate is the adult woman’s 14-year-old daughter, so this is, what’s the word, awful rape induced by alcohol. Just like in college!

Oh and of course: “In 2006, Muschany was a co-sponsor of legislation that toughened sex offender laws.”

State rep charged with assaulting teen [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]

{ 64 comments }

weirdiowasculpture August 7, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Yeah but if you ever saw a picture of the 14 year old girl, you’d swear it was an 18 year old boy. So that makes it OK.

Terry August 7, 2008 at 1:39 pm

You know, as soon as a legislator introduces “tough new sex offender laws” law enforcement should immediately start an investigation into his activities.

It would just save time all around and maybe a few victims, too.

tsunami August 7, 2008 at 1:39 pm

i hope he made those laws real, real tough.

this kind of asshole is the reason for the saying:
under the jail.

The Real JR Revisted August 7, 2008 at 1:39 pm

How sad is it when it’s more starling when it’s a girl and not a boy? Seriously, people. This is how low the bar is.

SuperRounder August 7, 2008 at 1:42 pm

He pulled a Foley. Where’s Chris Hanson when you need him?

Nasara August 7, 2008 at 1:43 pm

And this is why, when elected to public office, all Republicans should be immediately listed on the national registry of sex offenders.

AnnieGetYourFun August 7, 2008 at 1:44 pm

(Tries to think of a joke encomassing the word ‘Frontenac’… fails)

tunamelt August 7, 2008 at 1:44 pm

[re=54132]tsunami[/re]: Give an asshole enough rope and they will hang themselves.

Serolf Divad August 7, 2008 at 1:44 pm

Since he’s so totally pro family values I say just this once we give him a pass.

Dave J. August 7, 2008 at 1:45 pm

Muschany surprised many in political circles by announcing in late May that he was not running again this November. At the time he said he wanted to spend more time with his family.

Seriously, this never gets old.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 7, 2008 at 1:46 pm

This is looking ‘penis puppets’ in a hurry. He was a licensed foster parent.

shortsshortsshorts August 7, 2008 at 1:46 pm

[re=54141]SuperRounder[/re]: He’s been staring at a mirror for the last month trying to look very serious.

polar_bear August 7, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Some interesting comments on that article.

“i think the woman is looking for attention,because she didnt get what she wanted from him.i think she needs some time behind bars for the aligations.thats pretty bad to have a child to make up lies against u but a mother, she needs serious help.”

The people of Missouri are obviously hard to swindle.

ManchuCandidate August 7, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Young schoolgirl, the subject
Of legislator fantasy
He wants her so badly
Knows what he wants to screw
Inside him there’s longing
This girl’s his GF’s girl
Law denies it – but don’t apply to him
This girl is a third his age

Dont stand, dont stand so
Dont stand so close to me

Loose talk in the hallways
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the police station
The accusations fly
Its no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by nabakov

Dont stand, dont stand so
Dont stand so close to me

Dont stand, dont stand so
Dont stand so close to me

His friends are so upset
You know how bad Repubs get
Sometimes its not so easy
To chase little boys
Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
At her mom’s place, she’s waiting
He thinks it’s his to take

Dont stand, dont stand so
Dont stand so close to me

masterdebater August 7, 2008 at 1:47 pm

[re=54130]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Yeah, I can’t figure out why all the fuss! You would think the republicans would be thrilled to have a guy that fucks the opposite sex, from the way they are always trying to bash the gay folk. I’m thinking if this was in a mens room, he’d have a shot as McCains V.P.

AngryBlakGuy August 7, 2008 at 1:47 pm

…I found a photo of his new bunk mate in state prison:

http://www.blue22.net/features/adebisi/images/mug_ADEBISI.gif

weirdiowasculpture August 7, 2008 at 1:51 pm

[re=54145]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: How about: “Muschany must have thought the girl was a boy because he put it in the Frontenac ted like it was in the back.” OK, sorry. Best I could do on short notice.

SuperRounder August 7, 2008 at 1:52 pm

Please tell me there’s a pic of this guy hugging WALNUTS! somewhere.

Voyou Charmant August 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm

So, where can I read the step by step detailed account of exactly what went on?

SayItWithWookies August 7, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Christ on a fuckin’ biscuit. If the Republicans could just keep it in their pants, we could end our dependence of foreign supplies of Depo-Provera immediately.

weirdiowasculpture August 7, 2008 at 1:58 pm

So has anyone else noticed that Purple Butt Girl and Swim Girl have been replaced by the Stripy Sox Boy Sandwich Threesome? Purple Butt Girl still has my undying allegiance.

polar_bear August 7, 2008 at 2:00 pm

[re=54148]Dave J.[/re]: Yea, especially when the alleged rape happened on May 17th, and he suddenly decides to retire to spend time with his family on May 20th.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 7, 2008 at 2:02 pm

Muschany obviously forgot to order the Hawaiian pizza. That’s why he got charged with “deviate sexual intercourse” instead of just plain, ordinary child molestation.

polar_bear August 7, 2008 at 2:03 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Yea, the mustach’d guy in the middle freaks me out.

thefrontpage August 7, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Did someone say where’s Hanson when a legislator needs them?

4tehlulz August 7, 2008 at 2:03 pm

>>so this is, what’s the word…

Japan?

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 7, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: You’re lucky. Our alt weekly has an ad featuring Yellow Big Bottomed Barefoot Girl. And it ain’t anything but wrong.

KevoTron August 7, 2008 at 2:16 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: You lucky people. For some reason I don’t get the AA ads. I only see this really stupid thing about fighting global warming. And the little cartoon ad in the picture is not nearly as heroin-addicted-sexy as the AA models.

Joey Ratz August 7, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=54153]polar_bear[/re]: Yup. Can’t fool them salt-of-the-earth folks of the Show-me State.

[re=54155]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Record contract! Now!

AnnieGetYourFun August 7, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: I really liked swim girl, but she was making it difficult for me to appear to be working or thinking about politics. She was so LONG.

AnnieGetYourFun August 7, 2008 at 2:19 pm

[re=54168]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: That was pretty good.

Doglessliberal August 7, 2008 at 2:20 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Your first love stays with you.

AfghanVet August 7, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=54198]polar_bear[/re]: Girl on left: happy to be there. Guy in middle: Gay, but trying to play the part. Girl on right: “Oh my god…I can feel his thingy. Are we done yet?”

tunamelt August 7, 2008 at 2:22 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: I’ve got this freaky animal cruelty ad on the side featuring what looks like sausage being chopped. Basically, it makes me want to go out and get a sausage pizza or something.

PrairiePossum August 7, 2008 at 2:30 pm

I hope that girl’s daddy owns many, many guns and has anger control issues.

weirdiowasculpture August 7, 2008 at 2:37 pm

The order of the ads seems to change at random, but right now I’ve got the Stripy Sox Buttsex Threesome on top, and then “The Ugly Truth (Uncensored)” (which used to be called “Meet Your Meat”) right underneath it. Awesome juxtaposition, if you ask me. Almost like performance art.

weirdiowasculpture August 7, 2008 at 2:46 pm

I think we should give names to The Stripy Sox Buttsex Three. I’m thinking Brittany, Brad, and Jennifer, left to right.

Not_So_Much August 7, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=54268]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Isn’t that what teh gayz call a “lucky Pierre”?

Speaking of which, I wish this guy everything he so richly deserves when he joins the general population in the Missouri big house.

Adebisi indeed!!!

Chuckie Jesus August 7, 2008 at 2:49 pm
ShortShadey August 7, 2008 at 2:52 pm

It’s all an honest mistake. He could have sworn she was 16.

Jobbotch August 7, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Hey, that’s less Mark Foley than it is Humbert Humbert (down to shtupping the mother to get to the daughter)

GlennBecksTaint August 7, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Bill Clinton is jealous as fuck!

TexasJon August 7, 2008 at 3:10 pm

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/yahoolatestnews/stories/080708dntexcheerleaders.1d70ab35.html?npc

“I put on my elevator repairman’s uniform that morning, just as I had hundreds of times before. Little did I know the bounty today had in store for me.”
…and so beings Muschany’s latest letter to Penthouse Forum…

bearbait August 7, 2008 at 3:19 pm

“I plead insanity your honor. I was crazy about her!”

Quacker August 7, 2008 at 3:23 pm

I think he’s a closet Dem.

Quacker August 7, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=54341]Quacker[/re]: Unless the kid is a boy trapped in a girls body, which would make the whole affair understandable.

Doglessliberal August 7, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=54268]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: I have that, too! I also had a Cindy McCain is a drug dealer ad and then rid yourself of stress with squeezable Obama and McCain toys ad. (the Obama one is not even close–it is “use a generic black man because who will know the difference they all look the same” level stuff)

N8Ma August 7, 2008 at 3:40 pm

yawn…

Juice-IL August 7, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Do we have a proper name for this month yet. If not, I suggest AugLust

gurukalehuru August 7, 2008 at 3:48 pm

I approve of the American Apparel ad. Much better than the sad looking girl in the funereal swim suit.

Rusty Shackleford August 7, 2008 at 3:52 pm

It’s the classic bait-and-switch approach, although in this case it’s jailbait! And as the old rule of thumb goes: 15 will get you 20. So I guess we’ll see ya’ in another life, brutha.

AxmxZ August 7, 2008 at 4:24 pm

Will Bobby Jindal be Scott Muschany’s Jesse Jackson? Stay tuned.

valobama August 7, 2008 at 4:26 pm

[re=54159]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: that ain’t no 14 year old girl!

valobama August 7, 2008 at 4:28 pm

[re=54186]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: thank god that junkie slut is gone

Mr. Herpes August 7, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Another case of sloppy journalism. The reporter left out the address of the mother’s trailer. And that photo of Rep. Perp is priceless. Looks like he’s steeling himself for the cavity search. And I’m so relieved he took off his American flag lapel pin for the “rapist mug shot.” And Mom got to witness Mr. Lawmaker putting the wood to her daughter? Far out. If the dipshit survives jail, he can make a fortune with a “While Mom Watches…” Web site.

peace voter August 7, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Why was 42 year old Scott Muchany charged with only a Class C felony? Why was he not charged with rape? It seems that the man is getting preferential treatment. Perhaps he has friends in the prosecutors’ office.

“`
peace

peace voter August 7, 2008 at 5:43 pm

[re=54132]tsunami[/re]: The wierd thing is that the law he co-sponsored – HB 1236 – made it a Class B felony for anyone over the age of 30 to have sex with a minor – that’s “consentual” sex. 42 year old Muschany is alledged to have had “forcible” sex with a 14 year old girl, but is only charged with one count of a Class C felony. Something’s seems to be rotten in Frontenac.

““
peace

peace voter August 7, 2008 at 5:57 pm

[re=54195]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: He should have been charged with rape.

“`
peace

loquaciousmusic August 7, 2008 at 5:58 pm

So he’s had the hots for this girl since she was, like, 12? Wow. He really puts the “retard” in Republican, huh?

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 7, 2008 at 7:37 pm

This is what happens when the Republicrats are left the keys to a dark and silent Capitol…legislators can’t see or hear without the help of their staff, things get confused and girls are raped instead of boys.

The good news is that Newt will announce on Friday that the GOP is broadening its base and diversifying.

Mahousu August 7, 2008 at 8:08 pm

For those who need specifics, here’s Section 566.010, paragraph (1) of the Missouri criminal code:

“Deviate sexual intercourse” means any act involving the genitals of one person and the mouth, tongue, or anus of another person or a sexual act involving the penetration, however slight, of the male or female sex organ or the anus by a finger, instrument or object done for the purpose of arousing or gratifying the sexual desire of any person.

You’re welcome to play mix and match here. I’m guessing “finger” and “female sex organ,” but then my deviance is kind of vanilla.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 7, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[The] reported sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl on May 17, the day after this year’s Legislative session ended.” What, were all the 14-year-old boys already taken by the other celebrating Republican legislators?

Jim, you answered your own question. The assault took place a day after the legislative session answered. Let’s face it, with a ton of Republicans located in one place for months, what few boys that were located within 100 miles that could still bend over were spoken for. He had to chose the next best thing.

llyn August 8, 2008 at 2:16 am

[re=54363]Juice-IL[/re]: Yes to AugLust!

scottypants August 9, 2008 at 10:23 am

Heck – why couldnt he just do what chef did and go off and join the “Super Adventure Club” like regular people, or become a catholic priest?

Having sex in jail won’t be quite so much fun for this sick perv :)

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