We told you how John McCain offered up his “old lady” to the biker mob at Sturgis, and then we showed you the awkward video, but now we must present this version, which begins with the incredible confession from McCain that he’s only allowed onstage as a warm-up midget for Kid Rock.

And then there’s some Semi-Safe For Work but not Safe For Civilization video from earlier “Miss Buffalo Chip” contests. Even though it was McCain’s “first time” at the suburbanite fake-Outlaw Biker rally of Contractors, CostCo Managers and Chiropractors on their $10,000 “hogs,” he knew the Beauty Contest was all about naked drunk ladies fellating bananas.

What’s going through Cindy’s mind during this awful scene? And what’s going through her daughter’s mind, if anything? As the helpful captions show, the only audible thing the faux-biker scum can be heard screaming (to John) is “Show Us Your Tits!” (That is the name of every Kid Rock album, all released on this day in 1996.)

Remember when we were embarrassed for Bill Clinton? He almost looks classy now, doesn’t he?

John Mccain Offers His Wife for Sleazy Biker Bikini Contest [DoubleTalk Express]

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  1. Mebbe he was hired for the midget bowling, right after the wet t-shirt contest. What else would he be doing at a biker gathering in South Dakota with a beer distributor who used to be a USC cheerleader? Why else would bikers watch him, patiently waiting for him to STFU?

  2. …I suspect that Cindy was thinking the following during this little episode: “Damn, I think I ate my last dozen Valiums this morning for breakfast! I wonder if that biker who offered me Meth has any?”

  3. His campaign manager totally took money on behalf of Buffalo Chips to move the Miss Buffalo Chip pageant to China. I read it on a blog!

  4. Did he end that by saying, “Are there any of you that’s tired of paying four dollars a — four dollars a buck…”? He’s still going on about his energy plan, apparently.

  5. [re=53753]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It was edited, but what he really said was, “Are there any of you that’s tired of paying four dollars a — four dollars to buck your Sturgis whores when you can take my wife here for half that much? Please? ”

  6. Dang – forget about wife swapping implications… Gad that man is wearing white pants! Yes white khaki’s, not even those white linen pants that certian Europran men can get away with because they are very tanned and have giant platinum wrist jewelery. White khakis – is there no one left in the GOP that knows conservative men’s fashion from that of a Wal-Mart floor manager on casual friday?

    Let’s not even begin to discuss Cindy’s shapeless jeans shirt – it’s maternity wear for the barren, or perhaps durable drapery from the morbidly obese. Yet the woman is an heiress, pearls dammit! AT least she can wear some pearls.

    Carla Bruni makes me want to vote conservative – this pair of buffons makes me want to vomit up my elephant ear and dippin dots all over the carnies under the tilt-a-whirl.

  7. If McCain goes out and sings Sheryl Crow’s part on that one song with Kid Rock, then I’ll give a shit. Otherwise, forget it.

  8. So…. Kid Rock= The Decemberists?

    The former is named for the favorite pastime of repub congressmen and senators, whereas the latter for the favorite pastime of liberal-commie dems?

  9. What scares me is how loudly the crowd cheers for his acknowledgment that they are all waiting for Kid Rock. Honestly, and this is difficult for me to say… I’d rather… see John McCain… smile awkwardly… for a few minutes… than watch Kid Rock perform.

    THERE. I said it.

  10. McCain on the Issues:

    Military policy: Surges
    Health policy: Scourges
    Energy policy: Slurp this
    Education policy: Stupids
    Moral policy: Sturgis

  11. God, am I ever tired of paying 4 dollars a buck. I figure every time I pay a stranger 4 dollars a buck, I end up getting cheated by about 3 bucks. Thank God the midget that introduces Kid Rock has a solution.

  12. [re=53777]AxmxZ[/re]:

    Another limp-dick, unreliable Republican here. Hey, at least she made out like a bandit with the beard thingy– altho the nation’s show was sold for chump change.

    Sen. McCain has no respect for his wife’s hidden talents (or are they latent talents? –ooh well never mind–Gilda Radner!)

  13. [re=53793]Perot le fou[/re]: But what if Obama had said, “For the first time in my adult life I am truly proud of my wife giving her loyalty to dis pickle lickin’ cuntry…”

  14. Ken, I don’t think Christians have any problems with McCain objectifying wimmens. It justifies keeping them barefoot, beaten, and in the kitchen.

  15. There’s a zillion videos of this! And some of them are really playing the racy card from the bottom of the deck.

    [re=53816]eyesfriedopen[/re]: Plus, Ken, it’s an ancient Dakota custom. Didn’t cha watch Deadwood?

  16. Four dollars for a a a a buck for a dick, four bucks for a bag of dicks it reminds me of the old joke I just remember the punchline was “A fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, 10 dollars for a fucked up duck and I’ve still got the fucking duck!”, but where, oh where is that magnificent ape?

    p.s. could someone please post a link to the video with the titties?

  17. [re=53824]gurukalehuru[/re]:

    The ape moved to Spain, where apes have citizenship now.

    As for your next question, haha! You just want to see who you can get banned. Even Ken was worried about banning himself so yesterday he traded the Sturgis cleavage shot with Cindy on a Senior Citizen greeting card.

  18. Please no more Sturgis. last April my friends and I were planning on going to
    the suburbanite fake-Outlaw Biker rally of Contractors, CostCo Managers and Chiropractors on their $10,000 “hogs,” but then gas prices went to $4.50 a gallon and the trip was off. Now I’m
    here at work reading that Walnuts made it to Sturgis before me.
    Very depressing.

  19. I heard that when the crowd chanted, “Skin will win!”, Walnuts dug a piece of cancer out of his face and held it up in the air.

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