BE COOL  12:23 am August 7, 2008

Obama PWNS Dingbat Demanding Pledge of Allegiance

by Ken Layne


Here’s your Barack Obama dealing with an angry dingbat who somehow got press credentials for a campaign rally at Ohio’s Baldwin-Wallace College. The dingbat, identified as either “John Quinn” or “John Q. Public,” started hollering as Obama began a stump speech about energy or something. And then it got funny.

The dingbat apparently had no trouble getting fraudulent press access to your Next President, which is kind of funny CONSIDERING THE HELL THE DNCC PUTS US THROUGH TO GET A COUPLE OF CONVENTION CREDENTIALS WHEN WE’VE BEEN COVERING THESE GODDAMNED THINGS SINCE BILL CLINTON WAS PRESIDENT.

Anyway … so Barack was cool with the nut and says, “You want to lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance, go ahead dude,” and everybody has a good laugh and the dingbat’s veins pop out of his forehead and security didn’t even throw him out, the end.

This story is much happier than the one about the black reporter from an actual newspaper who was singled out by McCain’s goons at a Florida rally and thrown out, even though the only thing he did wrong was being born black in America.

Obama Unfazed By Heckler [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 82 comments }

Darehead August 7, 2008 at 12:29 am

One nation under the bus divisible by libertines and jesters for all.

valobama August 7, 2008 at 12:35 am

dicklicker

Rachel Ray Jihad August 7, 2008 at 12:37 am

That guy’s great! His dad fought in World War II – he loves that flag more than any of those fuckers! He sleeps with the flag at night!!

AxmxZ August 7, 2008 at 12:42 am

Barry is made of cool. That is all.

ladymacbeth August 7, 2008 at 12:44 am

dude should have gone with the liberation theology theme.

never expected, always effective.

SuperRounder August 7, 2008 at 12:44 am

I can only imagine what that guy would have done in Sturgis.

grevillea August 7, 2008 at 12:45 am

OK, you had your moment, NOW go to bed.

Darehead August 7, 2008 at 12:45 am

John Q uses his flag whenever he thinks about Johnny M making love to a gas pump using Drudges’s anal probe.

Serolf Divad August 7, 2008 at 12:54 am

What he didn’t mention is that his dad served in WWII under Heinrich Himmler.

AngryBlakGuy August 7, 2008 at 12:55 am

…I only have 4 words: “DON’T TAZE ME BRO!!!”

SayItWithWookies August 7, 2008 at 12:55 am

See — this proves he’ll abandon any principle for a vote. Disgusting.

AngryBlakGuy August 7, 2008 at 1:01 am

FAKE: Anyone with an e-mail account knows Barry puts his hand over his crotch and not his heart when reciting the pledge!

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 1:12 am

Maybe Flag-lover Dude Whose Dad Fought In World War II has a point. When Obama was giving all those speeches overseas, I never saw him lead the pledge once.

Seriously, this is the most retarded thing I’ve seen all campaign. And I’ve seen “Hillary In The White House.”

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 7, 2008 at 1:13 am

OMG A GUY IS WEARING A HILTON HEAD MUSCLE SHIRT.

I thought idiot tourists to the land of my parents only wore them while there, but now I have proof to the contrary. ::shudder::

Okay, so anyway… why the fuck do I need to pledge allegiance to the flag every single fucking day? Or at every event, for which there might be multiple ones on a day? Seriously, is the pledge that weak that it only lasts maybe 90 minutes to 24 hours (if kept in a cool, dry place)? Everytime I pledge something else, the expectation is usually for the duration to be eternal, i.e., I promise/swear/pledge not/never to break the bonds of matrimony and fuck little congressional interns. OH, OK, I get it now. Fucking repubs.

Aurelio August 7, 2008 at 1:27 am

Is there a kind of psychosis that manifests itself in superpatriotism? And if so, how did such a person get this near the candidate?

Rachel Ray Jihad August 7, 2008 at 1:29 am

Is “flaggot” an appropriate term? You know, for people who are gay for the flag and whatnot?

SayItWithWookies August 7, 2008 at 1:29 am

My question is, why do all these alleged strict constructionists not want to say it the way it was originally written? By a pastor, even. As God intended it. Without the “under God.” In this special case they don’t seem too excited about returning something to its original form.

unertl August 7, 2008 at 1:35 am

Did I just imagine a distinct “shut the fuck up!” from the crowd when John Q. Psycho interrupted the good Senator?

Harvey Birdman August 7, 2008 at 1:40 am

If only every crackpot had a videotaped comeuppance.

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 1:42 am

What’s with this thread in American politics where people think that military service gives them the moral right to make demands at every corner of civilian public life? Even to the point that this dicklicker would demand such a mundane, silly thing of a Presidential nominee at an inappropriate time and use his DAD’s service as his justification! I wonder how far that moral imperative goes?

“You WILL make that hot cocoa for me with milk instead of water. My Dad fought in World War II!”
“You WILL lie for me in your congressional testimony. My Dad fought in World War II!”
“You WILL let me assfuck you in an airport restroom. My Dad fought in World War II!”

RaptorAvatar August 7, 2008 at 1:51 am

Can we make everyone who thinks “war= unimpeachable heroism” kill themselves already?

expatinOz August 7, 2008 at 1:55 am

Wait…how does a terrorist know our secret pledge?

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 7, 2008 at 1:59 am

[re=53764]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: “World War II!” looks WAY too much like “World War III” for comfort.

And this is because, as you know, we are the rebirth of the great Roman res publica (pardon my Latin, but sometimes I just can’t help it).

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 2:00 am

[re=53768]RaptorAvatar[/re]: Forcing someone to commit suicide is sleazy, criminal, immoral and never justified. You shouldn’t even joke about something like that. But to answer your question: yes.

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 2:04 am

[re=53772]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Are you reading the same Wonkette as me? Because WWIII sounds pretty comforting to me these days.

Maybe you’re just too much of a coward to have a Dad fight in WWIII…

Darehead August 7, 2008 at 2:05 am

[re=53754]Aurelio[/re]: Answer to first question here:
http://www.schizophrenia.com/earlysigns.htm

AnnieGetYourFun August 7, 2008 at 2:16 am

[re=53756]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I was hoping you would bring that up. I heart you.

Oh, and I believe the answer rhymes with ‘whip-op-krissy.’

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 7, 2008 at 2:16 am

[re=53774]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: It would probably help out with our new great depression, like it did the old one (or so i’ve been told by many neo-cons)

But if my dad wanted to fight in WWIII, he’s welcome to it.

AxmxZ August 7, 2008 at 2:18 am

Barry’s great-uncle also fought in WWII, and he could totally beat up this flaggot’s dad.

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 2:26 am

[re=53779]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Then we’re both agreed: WWIII is good for democracy. Okay, I’m convinced. Let’s start WWIII. We’ll begin with Syria and Iran and finish up in 2045 when President Jenna Bush proclaims Moscow as the capital of “East America.”

And our Dads can fight it together. Sort of like a buddy movie, but with “democracy on the march for freedom’s progress” and “life in the balance” and “Sorry we nuked you accidentally, bare-assed villagers” and all that shit. The plan is flawless. I’ll fax this over to the President in the morning.

Ken Layne August 7, 2008 at 2:31 am

Buncha flaggotz ….

expatinOz August 7, 2008 at 2:32 am

[re=53783]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: I think you missed the memo, WWIII has already begun. Over there, over there…

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 2:40 am

[re=53786]expatinOz[/re]: Oh, I heard about that. But I don’t think any public event can be said to have truly “begun” until someone says the Pledge of Allegiance. And I haven’t heard it, yet. No pledge, no war. My Dad isn’t going to fight in WWIII just so some stupid hippies can disrespect the flag by not praying to it 5 times a day.

mattbolt August 7, 2008 at 2:47 am

I can see the rest of the world finding it vaguely creepy that Americans, at the start of school days, government sessions and apparently random-ass energy speeches, are expected to pledge their allegiance to an inanimate object. I mean, wouldn’t you laugh at another country if you heard their citizens had to vocally state their eternal loyalty to a piece of nylon on a pole at every social gathering they attended?

Inadequate Blackmail August 7, 2008 at 2:54 am

[re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: That’s it, dude. Our war is coming to your country next. Where are you? California?

SayItWithWookies August 7, 2008 at 3:01 am

[re=53778]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Well that’s the icing on the cake. I’m going to bed now, I swear. Oh, and Dana Milbank is an idiot.

AxmxZ August 7, 2008 at 3:02 am

[re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: We had a portrait of Lenin in our classroom when I was in elementary school in Moscow, and even we had the good sense to ignore the fucker.

Darehead August 7, 2008 at 3:16 am

[re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: vocally state their eternal loyalty to a piece of nylon on a pole at every social gathering…

But the point here is, this is about a basketball jersey on a beanpole. Things are all different now.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 7, 2008 at 3:53 am

Look closely, his mouth said “Under God,” but his eyes said “Under Allah.”

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 7, 2008 at 3:55 am

[re=53785]Ken Layne[/re]: Bill Clinton was President? When did that happen?

Still, you have to understand why the DNCC would give a patriotic man like this press credentials and hold back with known American haters like you all.

TGY August 7, 2008 at 4:17 am

I guess that proves Barry really *is* the second coming of Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Vishnu, Obiwan Kenobi, and Paris Hilton. Who’d have thought it?

As for me, I’m easy. I’d be satisfied with Paris Hilton coming only once.

TGY August 7, 2008 at 4:20 am

“..THE HELL THE DNCC PUTS US THROUGH…”

You told them you were from Wonkette? They were probably only trying to figure out how to put ‘ass-fucking’ on your badges. In a nice way, of course.

wallythepug August 7, 2008 at 6:14 am

[re=53734]Serolf Divad[/re]: and THAT, sir, is why you’re the master.

Hello Sunshine August 7, 2008 at 6:34 am

[re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: As a citizen of the rest of the world I’m happy to confirm that we find it vaguely creepy that Americans, at the start of school days, government sessions and apparently random-arse energy speeches, are expected to pledge their allegiance to an inanimate object.

And my grandfather fought in WW2, so I know about these things.

4tehlulz August 7, 2008 at 7:10 am

MY DAD FOUGHT IN WWII…so I am except from defending my country.

Godless Liberal * August 7, 2008 at 7:36 am

[re=53810]Hello Sunshine[/re]: I’m a citizen of America and I find it vaguely creepy that we, at the start of damn near any gathering, either pledge allegiance to a piece of cloth or sing a song written about a piece of cloth, and do either with our hands over our hearts because that proves we mean it. I also find it creepy that sixty years later, nutjobs claim that their fathers fought in a global war that was apparently waged over this piece of cloth.

Canuckledragger August 7, 2008 at 8:05 am

You’re all so flag-obsessed that you’re missing the point. Given that nearly 200 countries participated in WW2, just about everybody on the fuckin’ planet had some relative involved in that bench-clearing brawl. I had relatives on both sides.

This was douche-boy’s way of pokin’ Hopey in the eye. Douche-boy had a dad, and how’s Hopey gonna top that?

“My Dad fought in WW2 and you don’t even have one. So my Dad’s better’n yours, and I’m better’n you. Now recite me sumfin’ minstrel boy.”

Sadly for all the douches, Bear-Bear’s pretty much unflappable because he’s been taking shit like that all his life, and and has learned to elegantly serve it back to those who toss it his way.

And for all you bizarre flag-o-philes, here’s my prediction. By the end of Hopey’s second term, in every country where your flag was once being burned, they’ll be hand-stitching new ones as a sign of respect for a nation that has finally, after a few hundred years of false starts, lived up to its own advance hype.

If you were half the nation you think you are, you’d be twice the nation you are. And soon, you will be. Good for you, good for the rest of us. Win-win.

But that’s too good to be true, so cue the lone gunmen….

eyesfriedopen August 7, 2008 at 8:06 am

[re=53746]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: That’s becaude they’re not using New and Improved Pledge ™, guaranteed to hold your vows longer and more dust-free than the original formula. Available where fine patriotic platitudes are sold. Not available in all states, your mileage may vary.

gurukalehuru August 7, 2008 at 8:23 am

We all learned it in the first grade! Yes, green shirted, mentally challenged son of a WWII veteran, that’s true. And most of us are not in 1st grade any more.

Darehead August 7, 2008 at 8:25 am

[re=53822]Canuckledragger[/re]: That was worth every amero that Obama paid you. Pass me some more Kleenexes now…

Pelagius August 7, 2008 at 8:30 am

He loves the flag so much he uses it for a jizz rag.

brownpau August 7, 2008 at 8:32 am

Oh look here’s the heckler’s website: http://www.sunartist.com
Don’t call the phone number in the whois info, though. I hear it’s his Mom’s. Seriously.

Darehead August 7, 2008 at 8:40 am

[re=53829]brownpau[/re]: How now brown pau? Rapture time! The entire heavens are one big US flag!

4tehlulz August 7, 2008 at 8:41 am

[re=53829]brownpau[/re]: Then give it to an Army recruiter.

ReverendGreen August 7, 2008 at 8:54 am

John McCain pledges allegiance to the flag daily at sunrise, and an additional three times a day when he wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to the bathroom.

kmarie08wj August 7, 2008 at 8:57 am

You can clearly tell Obama has his fingers crossed behind his back.

regisgoat August 7, 2008 at 9:18 am

[re=53822]Canuckledragger[/re]: Touchingly put, frostback. Your mouth, God’s ear.
And now, some song lyrics by Gilbert Shelton:

Our flag is of red white and yellow
the spectrum’s most beautiful hues
When we see it we stand up and bellow
And take off our hats and our shoes

lilblackcorvette August 7, 2008 at 9:29 am

[re=53790]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: You, sir , are a dick licker.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 7, 2008 at 9:41 am

[re=53823]eyesfriedopen[/re]: Can I illegally ship some after purchasing it on teh interwebs?

WIDTAP August 7, 2008 at 9:43 am

[re=53829]brownpau[/re]: Looks like Johnny Q just has an issue getting over his daddy’s death and Barry happened to be close enough to hear little Johnny vent his anguish.

larz August 7, 2008 at 9:53 am

At least he knows what his priorities are – as stupid as they may be. The rest of his list:

Get box of Honey Nut Cheerios from Super Dollar Saver Store
Count cracks in sidewalk infront of group home (again)
Recount cracks in sidewalk
Measure exactally 1/4 cup 2% milk in blue measuring cup (red one only for kool aid)
Pour into cereal bowl
Add 176 Cheerios one at a time
Eat while humming the Start Spangled Banner
Say pledge of allegiance inserting dirty words to make it funny
Take blue pills
Take nap

accidental_tourist August 7, 2008 at 10:22 am

This REEKS of Karl Rove.

zhubajie August 7, 2008 at 10:27 am

Somehow I am not surprised it happened in Upper Kentucky, aka Ohio.

NoWireHangers August 7, 2008 at 11:01 am

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SAY THE GIRL SCOUT PROMISE?! GIRL SCOUTS SERVE OUR GREAT NATION ON A DAILY BASIS WITH DELICIOUS COOKIES AND THIS IS AMERICA! MY DAUGHTER SERVES IN THE GIRL SCOUTS HOW CAN A SENATOR NOT START A TOWN HALL MEETING WITH THE GIRL SCOUT PROMISE!!!1!!

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 7, 2008 at 11:05 am

[re=53829]brownpau[/re]: He’s give-ing THAT photo away for FREE!? He is crazy!

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 7, 2008 at 11:12 am

What’s his obsession with the first grade? Frickin’ paste-eating pedophile.

PrairiePossum August 7, 2008 at 11:13 am

I doubt John McCain lead the Sturgis crowd in the Pledge before he entered his wife in the Miss Buffalo Chip topless pageant.

Makeithurt August 7, 2008 at 11:32 am

Under Obama’s reign all idiots will be tolerated and given the floor to speak.
Jesus, what a pathetic presidential campaign this is.
I don’t know what was worse — the flaggot or the sheeple leaping to their feet to pledge their weegeance like they meant it or something. That was a roomfull of assholes.

V572625694 August 7, 2008 at 11:53 am

[re=53914]NoWireHangers[/re]: Perhaps Obama isn’t “mentally awake” yet:

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

BadNewsJack August 7, 2008 at 12:01 pm

My grandpa fought in the Mexican Revolution. Do I get special treatment?

cal August 7, 2008 at 12:10 pm

[re=53755]Rachel Ray Jihad[/re]: “flaggot”

I LOL’d.

cynbot August 7, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Whoa. I think his eyeballs are spinning in opposite directions, like a cartoon character. Also, that camera angle is pretty unflattering for a sufferer from male pattern baldness. Just another piece of proof of the liberal bias in the press.

lumpenprole August 7, 2008 at 12:43 pm

My Dad laid waste to shit in Vietnam and doesn’t feel the very good about it. Everyone sing the theme song to the Jetsons!

Accordion-o-rama August 7, 2008 at 12:54 pm

John Q. seems to be anatomically confused.
You’re supposed to put your hand over heart, not your clavicle.

populucious August 7, 2008 at 1:01 pm

A brief history of the Pledge and WWII:

An early version of the salute, adopted in 1892, was known as the Bellamy salute. It ended with the arm outstretched and the palm upwards, but began with the right hand outstretched, palm facing downward. However, during World War II the outstretched arm became identified with Nazism and Fascism, and the custom was changed: today the Pledge is said from beginning to end with the right hand over the heart.

People act like the Pledge was tattooed on the collective chest of our Founding Fathers when the silly thing has been evolving since it was first laid in the 1860s. Personally, I’d love to go back to the nifty retro “Nazi” version described here, but angry male pattern baldness guy’s Dad spoiled that for us, with his fighting in WWII and all. Thppt!

Sussemilch August 7, 2008 at 1:20 pm

A plague of leeches, to the fag
Of a night of steaks and a miracle
And touring pub links
Four sandwich stands
One ancient
Underdog
With litter bees and just ants for all

BadNewsJack August 7, 2008 at 1:34 pm

What a douche

masterdebater August 7, 2008 at 1:43 pm

And let that be a lesson to all of you pinkos that think you can have a town hall meeting without a meaningless ritual to begin things properly! McCain has lots of these false displays of patriotism, and that is why he is loved by republicans everywhere who have let others do their fighting (and dying). I for one am proud to live in a country where people like Rush, can call people like John Kerry, cowards! That’s what America is all about! I’m just ashamed that I served, instead of letting someone else serve in my place…but what can I say, I was young.

sezme August 7, 2008 at 1:46 pm

[re=53726]Rachel Ray Jihad[/re]: Just curious, I have a hypothetical question. For a friend. He wants to know if it’s normal to use the US flag as a cum rag. Heh heh, I think that’s kind of weird myself, although he does say the pledge of allegiance before the act.

Joey Ratz August 7, 2008 at 1:53 pm

[re=53755]Rachel Ray Jihad[/re]: I saw Cintra Wilson use it some years back (as in “Wayne Newton is a flaggot”), so I’m sure it’s all good.

TaraAriano August 7, 2008 at 4:24 pm

We just posted ringtone-ready audio of the incident over at Entertonement.

defeatism August 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm

In deference to John Q. Public, it DOES say in the Articles of Confederation that you must start every town hall meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance and a castor oil de-witchifying.

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