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Obama PWNS Dingbat Demanding Pledge of Allegiance


Here’s your Barack Obama dealing with an angry dingbat who somehow got press credentials for a campaign rally at Ohio’s Baldwin-Wallace College. The dingbat, identified as either “John Quinn” or “John Q. Public,” started hollering as Obama began a stump speech about energy or something. And then it got funny.

The dingbat apparently had no trouble getting fraudulent press access to your Next President, which is kind of funny CONSIDERING THE HELL THE DNCC PUTS US THROUGH TO GET A COUPLE OF CONVENTION CREDENTIALS WHEN WE’VE BEEN COVERING THESE GODDAMNED THINGS SINCE BILL CLINTON WAS PRESIDENT.

Anyway … so Barack was cool with the nut and says, “You want to lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance, go ahead dude,” and everybody has a good laugh and the dingbat’s veins pop out of his forehead and security didn’t even throw him out, the end.

This story is much happier than the one about the black reporter from an actual newspaper who was singled out by McCain’s goons at a Florida rally and thrown out, even though the only thing he did wrong was being born black in America.

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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82 comments

  1. Rachel Ray Jihad

    That guy’s great! His dad fought in World War II – he loves that flag more than any of those fuckers! He sleeps with the flag at night!!

  2. ladymacbeth

    dude should have gone with the liberation theology theme.

    never expected, always effective.

  3. Darehead

    John Q uses his flag whenever he thinks about Johnny M making love to a gas pump using Drudges’s anal probe.

  4. AngryBlakGuy

    FAKE: Anyone with an e-mail account knows Barry puts his hand over his crotch and not his heart when reciting the pledge!

  5. Inadequate Blackmail

    Maybe Flag-lover Dude Whose Dad Fought In World War II has a point. When Obama was giving all those speeches overseas, I never saw him lead the pledge once.

    Seriously, this is the most retarded thing I’ve seen all campaign. And I’ve seen “Hillary In The White House.”

  6. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    OMG A GUY IS WEARING A HILTON HEAD MUSCLE SHIRT.

    I thought idiot tourists to the land of my parents only wore them while there, but now I have proof to the contrary. ::shudder::

    Okay, so anyway… why the fuck do I need to pledge allegiance to the flag every single fucking day? Or at every event, for which there might be multiple ones on a day? Seriously, is the pledge that weak that it only lasts maybe 90 minutes to 24 hours (if kept in a cool, dry place)? Everytime I pledge something else, the expectation is usually for the duration to be eternal, i.e., I promise/swear/pledge not/never to break the bonds of matrimony and fuck little congressional interns. OH, OK, I get it now. Fucking repubs.

  7. Aurelio

    Is there a kind of psychosis that manifests itself in superpatriotism? And if so, how did such a person get this near the candidate?

  8. Rachel Ray Jihad

    Is “flaggot” an appropriate term? You know, for people who are gay for the flag and whatnot?

  9. SayItWithWookies

    My question is, why do all these alleged strict constructionists not want to say it the way it was originally written? By a pastor, even. As God intended it. Without the “under God.” In this special case they don’t seem too excited about returning something to its original form.

  10. unertl

    Did I just imagine a distinct “shut the fuck up!” from the crowd when John Q. Psycho interrupted the good Senator?

  11. Inadequate Blackmail

    What’s with this thread in American politics where people think that military service gives them the moral right to make demands at every corner of civilian public life? Even to the point that this dicklicker would demand such a mundane, silly thing of a Presidential nominee at an inappropriate time and use his DAD’s service as his justification! I wonder how far that moral imperative goes?

    “You WILL make that hot cocoa for me with milk instead of water. My Dad fought in World War II!”
    “You WILL lie for me in your congressional testimony. My Dad fought in World War II!”
    “You WILL let me assfuck you in an airport restroom. My Dad fought in World War II!”

  12. RaptorAvatar

    Can we make everyone who thinks “war= unimpeachable heroism” kill themselves already?

  13. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=53764]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: “World War II!” looks WAY too much like “World War III” for comfort.

    And this is because, as you know, we are the rebirth of the great Roman res publica (pardon my Latin, but sometimes I just can’t help it).

  14. Inadequate Blackmail

    [re=53768]RaptorAvatar[/re]: Forcing someone to commit suicide is sleazy, criminal, immoral and never justified. You shouldn’t even joke about something like that. But to answer your question: yes.

  15. Inadequate Blackmail

    [re=53772]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Are you reading the same Wonkette as me? Because WWIII sounds pretty comforting to me these days.

    Maybe you’re just too much of a coward to have a Dad fight in WWIII…

  16. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=53756]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I was hoping you would bring that up. I heart you.

    Oh, and I believe the answer rhymes with ‘whip-op-krissy.’

  17. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=53774]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: It would probably help out with our new great depression, like it did the old one (or so i’ve been told by many neo-cons)

    But if my dad wanted to fight in WWIII, he’s welcome to it.

  18. AxmxZ

    Barry’s great-uncle also fought in WWII, and he could totally beat up this flaggot’s dad.

  19. Inadequate Blackmail

    [re=53779]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Then we’re both agreed: WWIII is good for democracy. Okay, I’m convinced. Let’s start WWIII. We’ll begin with Syria and Iran and finish up in 2045 when President Jenna Bush proclaims Moscow as the capital of “East America.”

    And our Dads can fight it together. Sort of like a buddy movie, but with “democracy on the march for freedom’s progress” and “life in the balance” and “Sorry we nuked you accidentally, bare-assed villagers” and all that shit. The plan is flawless. I’ll fax this over to the President in the morning.

  20. expatinOz

    [re=53783]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: I think you missed the memo, WWIII has already begun. Over there, over there…

  21. Inadequate Blackmail

    [re=53786]expatinOz[/re]: Oh, I heard about that. But I don’t think any public event can be said to have truly “begun” until someone says the Pledge of Allegiance. And I haven’t heard it, yet. No pledge, no war. My Dad isn’t going to fight in WWIII just so some stupid hippies can disrespect the flag by not praying to it 5 times a day.

  22. mattbolt

    I can see the rest of the world finding it vaguely creepy that Americans, at the start of school days, government sessions and apparently random-ass energy speeches, are expected to pledge their allegiance to an inanimate object. I mean, wouldn’t you laugh at another country if you heard their citizens had to vocally state their eternal loyalty to a piece of nylon on a pole at every social gathering they attended?

  23. Inadequate Blackmail

    [re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: That’s it, dude. Our war is coming to your country next. Where are you? California?

  24. SayItWithWookies

    [re=53778]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Well that’s the icing on the cake. I’m going to bed now, I swear. Oh, and Dana Milbank is an idiot.

  25. AxmxZ

    [re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: We had a portrait of Lenin in our classroom when I was in elementary school in Moscow, and even we had the good sense to ignore the fucker.

  26. Darehead

    [re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: vocally state their eternal loyalty to a piece of nylon on a pole at every social gathering…

    But the point here is, this is about a basketball jersey on a beanpole. Things are all different now.

  27. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Look closely, his mouth said “Under God,” but his eyes said “Under Allah.”

  28. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=53785]Ken Layne[/re]: Bill Clinton was President? When did that happen?

    Still, you have to understand why the DNCC would give a patriotic man like this press credentials and hold back with known American haters like you all.

  29. TGY

    I guess that proves Barry really *is* the second coming of Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Vishnu, Obiwan Kenobi, and Paris Hilton. Who’d have thought it?

    As for me, I’m easy. I’d be satisfied with Paris Hilton coming only once.

  30. TGY

    “..THE HELL THE DNCC PUTS US THROUGH…”

    You told them you were from Wonkette? They were probably only trying to figure out how to put ‘ass-fucking’ on your badges. In a nice way, of course.

  31. Hello Sunshine

    [re=53789]mattbolt[/re]: As a citizen of the rest of the world I’m happy to confirm that we find it vaguely creepy that Americans, at the start of school days, government sessions and apparently random-arse energy speeches, are expected to pledge their allegiance to an inanimate object.

    And my grandfather fought in WW2, so I know about these things.

  32. Godless Liberal *

    [re=53810]Hello Sunshine[/re]: I’m a citizen of America and I find it vaguely creepy that we, at the start of damn near any gathering, either pledge allegiance to a piece of cloth or sing a song written about a piece of cloth, and do either with our hands over our hearts because that proves we mean it. I also find it creepy that sixty years later, nutjobs claim that their fathers fought in a global war that was apparently waged over this piece of cloth.

  33. Canuckledragger

    You’re all so flag-obsessed that you’re missing the point. Given that nearly 200 countries participated in WW2, just about everybody on the fuckin’ planet had some relative involved in that bench-clearing brawl. I had relatives on both sides.

    This was douche-boy’s way of pokin’ Hopey in the eye. Douche-boy had a dad, and how’s Hopey gonna top that?

    “My Dad fought in WW2 and you don’t even have one. So my Dad’s better’n yours, and I’m better’n you. Now recite me sumfin’ minstrel boy.”

    Sadly for all the douches, Bear-Bear’s pretty much unflappable because he’s been taking shit like that all his life, and and has learned to elegantly serve it back to those who toss it his way.

    And for all you bizarre flag-o-philes, here’s my prediction. By the end of Hopey’s second term, in every country where your flag was once being burned, they’ll be hand-stitching new ones as a sign of respect for a nation that has finally, after a few hundred years of false starts, lived up to its own advance hype.

    If you were half the nation you think you are, you’d be twice the nation you are. And soon, you will be. Good for you, good for the rest of us. Win-win.

    But that’s too good to be true, so cue the lone gunmen….

  34. eyesfriedopen

    [re=53746]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: That’s becaude they’re not using New and Improved Pledge ™, guaranteed to hold your vows longer and more dust-free than the original formula. Available where fine patriotic platitudes are sold. Not available in all states, your mileage may vary.

  35. gurukalehuru

    We all learned it in the first grade! Yes, green shirted, mentally challenged son of a WWII veteran, that’s true. And most of us are not in 1st grade any more.

  36. Darehead

    [re=53822]Canuckledragger[/re]: That was worth every amero that Obama paid you. Pass me some more Kleenexes now…

  37. Darehead

    [re=53829]brownpau[/re]: How now brown pau? Rapture time! The entire heavens are one big US flag!

  38. ReverendGreen

    John McCain pledges allegiance to the flag daily at sunrise, and an additional three times a day when he wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to the bathroom.

  39. regisgoat

    [re=53822]Canuckledragger[/re]: Touchingly put, frostback. Your mouth, God’s ear.
    And now, some song lyrics by Gilbert Shelton:

    Our flag is of red white and yellow
    the spectrum’s most beautiful hues
    When we see it we stand up and bellow
    And take off our hats and our shoes

  40. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=53823]eyesfriedopen[/re]: Can I illegally ship some after purchasing it on teh interwebs?

  41. WIDTAP

    [re=53829]brownpau[/re]: Looks like Johnny Q just has an issue getting over his daddy’s death and Barry happened to be close enough to hear little Johnny vent his anguish.

  42. larz

    At least he knows what his priorities are – as stupid as they may be. The rest of his list:

    Get box of Honey Nut Cheerios from Super Dollar Saver Store
    Count cracks in sidewalk infront of group home (again)
    Recount cracks in sidewalk
    Measure exactally 1/4 cup 2% milk in blue measuring cup (red one only for kool aid)
    Pour into cereal bowl
    Add 176 Cheerios one at a time
    Eat while humming the Start Spangled Banner
    Say pledge of allegiance inserting dirty words to make it funny
    Take blue pills
    Take nap

  43. NoWireHangers

    WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SAY THE GIRL SCOUT PROMISE?! GIRL SCOUTS SERVE OUR GREAT NATION ON A DAILY BASIS WITH DELICIOUS COOKIES AND THIS IS AMERICA! MY DAUGHTER SERVES IN THE GIRL SCOUTS HOW CAN A SENATOR NOT START A TOWN HALL MEETING WITH THE GIRL SCOUT PROMISE!!!1!!

  44. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=53829]brownpau[/re]: He’s give-ing THAT photo away for FREE!? He is crazy!

  45. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    What’s his obsession with the first grade? Frickin’ paste-eating pedophile.

  46. PrairiePossum

    I doubt John McCain lead the Sturgis crowd in the Pledge before he entered his wife in the Miss Buffalo Chip topless pageant.

  47. Makeithurt

    Under Obama’s reign all idiots will be tolerated and given the floor to speak.
    Jesus, what a pathetic presidential campaign this is.
    I don’t know what was worse — the flaggot or the sheeple leaping to their feet to pledge their weegeance like they meant it or something. That was a roomfull of assholes.

  48. V572625694

    [re=53914]NoWireHangers[/re]: Perhaps Obama isn’t “mentally awake” yet:

    On my honor I will do my best
    To do my duty to God and my country
    and to obey the Scout Law;
    To help other people at all times;
    To keep myself physically strong,
    mentally awake, and morally straight.

  49. cynbot

    Whoa. I think his eyeballs are spinning in opposite directions, like a cartoon character. Also, that camera angle is pretty unflattering for a sufferer from male pattern baldness. Just another piece of proof of the liberal bias in the press.

  50. lumpenprole

    My Dad laid waste to shit in Vietnam and doesn’t feel the very good about it. Everyone sing the theme song to the Jetsons!

  51. Accordion-o-rama

    John Q. seems to be anatomically confused.
    You’re supposed to put your hand over heart, not your clavicle.

  52. populucious

    A brief history of the Pledge and WWII:

    An early version of the salute, adopted in 1892, was known as the Bellamy salute. It ended with the arm outstretched and the palm upwards, but began with the right hand outstretched, palm facing downward. However, during World War II the outstretched arm became identified with Nazism and Fascism, and the custom was changed: today the Pledge is said from beginning to end with the right hand over the heart.

    People act like the Pledge was tattooed on the collective chest of our Founding Fathers when the silly thing has been evolving since it was first laid in the 1860s. Personally, I’d love to go back to the nifty retro “Nazi” version described here, but angry male pattern baldness guy’s Dad spoiled that for us, with his fighting in WWII and all. Thppt!

  53. Sussemilch

    A plague of leeches, to the fag
    Of a night of steaks and a miracle
    And touring pub links
    Four sandwich stands
    One ancient
    Underdog
    With litter bees and just ants for all

  54. masterdebater

    And let that be a lesson to all of you pinkos that think you can have a town hall meeting without a meaningless ritual to begin things properly! McCain has lots of these false displays of patriotism, and that is why he is loved by republicans everywhere who have let others do their fighting (and dying). I for one am proud to live in a country where people like Rush, can call people like John Kerry, cowards! That’s what America is all about! I’m just ashamed that I served, instead of letting someone else serve in my place…but what can I say, I was young.

  55. sezme

    [re=53726]Rachel Ray Jihad[/re]: Just curious, I have a hypothetical question. For a friend. He wants to know if it’s normal to use the US flag as a cum rag. Heh heh, I think that’s kind of weird myself, although he does say the pledge of allegiance before the act.

  56. Joey Ratz

    [re=53755]Rachel Ray Jihad[/re]: I saw Cintra Wilson use it some years back (as in “Wayne Newton is a flaggot”), so I’m sure it’s all good.

  57. defeatism

    In deference to John Q. Public, it DOES say in the Articles of Confederation that you must start every town hall meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance and a castor oil de-witchifying.

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