WTF?  4:19 pm August 6, 2008

The Worst Poll Imaginable Is, Indeed, Conducted

by Jim Newell

“NEW YORK (Reuters) – Women would rather carpool or go on vacation with Democratic White House hopeful Barack Obama than with his Republican rival John McCain, a new poll of U.S. women voters showed on Tuesday.” What the fuck does this even mean? “Carpooling” and “vacationing” are two very distinct acts. So they have asked women across the country, basically, which candidate they would rather schlep to pre-school or, conversely, go to the Jersey Shore with. John McCain polls better with white women, so we might infer that there is some strange demographic called bl… black… black women? HISPANIC WOMEN? Who are these so-called “people,” and why do we never hear about them? [Reuters]

 
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{ 60 comments }

carerer August 6, 2008 at 4:24 pm

“Carpooling” must be code for something.

sanantonerose August 6, 2008 at 4:24 pm

Well, this woman doesn’t want to travel in the car with Obama under any make-believe scenario. He’s probably got the metabolism of a hummingbird and would eat all the peanut butter crackers that I have stashed in the glovebox. You know, in case of emergency.

BadNewsJack August 6, 2008 at 4:25 pm

[re=53346]carerer[/re]: Bathroom sex?

Larry Fine August 6, 2008 at 4:25 pm

Why do you leave out the Orientals?

Hooray For Anything August 6, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Considering the fact McCain thinks motorcycle rallies are a fun time, I can understand why more people would want to go on a vacation with Obama.

Jim Newell August 6, 2008 at 4:27 pm

[re=53356]Larry Fine[/re]: Can you read? I said “Hispanic.” Mexicans.

WhatTheHeck August 6, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Jim, ever seen white women on spring break?
Now that’s vacationing!
As for carpooling, it refers to a limo and a back seat.

Outstando August 6, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Yes, but carpooling and staycationing actually have a lot in common. When will the American people wake up and realize that Obama’s opposition to mandatory unlimited off-shore drilling is making it hard to make fun of stupid polls!

4tehlulz August 6, 2008 at 4:31 pm

But would they sell their houses to them? Send them to school with his kids?

Pop Socket August 6, 2008 at 4:31 pm

Obama can vacation with me as long as we don’t go anywhere he has to hail a cab for us.

ManchuCandidate August 6, 2008 at 4:31 pm

“The poll showed Obama holds a strong lead among all women voters but McCain polls better with white women, seniors and stay-at-home moms.”

Damn you, Harriett Christian and your inadequate comments!!!! Bitch!!!

weirdiowasculpture August 6, 2008 at 4:32 pm

My high school girlfriend and I used to go carpooling in the parking lot of the forest preservethe back seat of my Mustang.

BobLoblawLawBlog August 6, 2008 at 4:32 pm

In related polling, 4 out of 5 bitters would rather pig farm or darn socks with John McCain, whereas 5 of 7 NASCAR dads would rather inseminate bulls or coddle eggs with Obama. Dammit, people, isn’t it clear?????

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 6, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Teddy Kennedy should have been included in the poll.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 6, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Why not just ask the real question?

Whose mouth, tongue and/or lips would women rather find stimulating their genitals?

Marcel Parcells August 6, 2008 at 4:35 pm

They mean carjacking, no?

TGY August 6, 2008 at 4:37 pm

[re=53346]carerer[/re]: [re=53354]BadNewsJack[/re]: General boffing in any place or position.

Let me know when I can stop paying attention to stupid questions like these, please. Thanks in advance.

SuperRounder August 6, 2008 at 4:38 pm

[re=53373]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: I just looked up darning socks. I had NO idea.

BobLoblawLawBlog August 6, 2008 at 4:40 pm

[re=53369]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Oh, I think her comments were replete with ade-quida-quacity.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 6, 2008 at 4:40 pm

[re=53384]SuperRounder[/re]: Your name always makes me so hungry. . .

There’s a seafood place near my house named Bob Law. The cornbread is so yum.

ainm cleite August 6, 2008 at 4:41 pm

[re=53373]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: I thought you meant like as a plumber, and I was like – when did that happen?

Urbanachiever August 6, 2008 at 4:42 pm

I saw (& met) Barry a few years ago in the baggage claim area of the Vegas airport, since we were both traveling on the same Chicago-Vegas flight. Since I’m a white woman, does that count as “vacationing” with him?

tunamelt August 6, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Carpooling in the Girls Gone Wild bus, right?

BobLoblawLawBlog August 6, 2008 at 4:45 pm

[re=53389]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: You talking to me? Cause I loves me some cornbread…spoonbread…sweetbreads and whips. Damn you, Angela Merkel for making me mix up my midnight cravings!

sezme August 6, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Carpooling is superior to vacationing in that it affords the opportunity to throw the passenger under the bus.
Also, I think vacationing is code for a “fling” whereas carpooling means a “one-nighter”.

BobLoblawLawBlog August 6, 2008 at 4:48 pm

[re=53392]Urbanachiever[/re]: This sounds like a story for Penthouse Forum.

WadISay August 6, 2008 at 4:49 pm

I never have been, nor will I ever be, a carpooling female, but my daily commute takes me through lands where Teh Heteros breed. I see these women of whom you speak in SUVs and mini-vans, and they’re all on cellphones. So, I’ve got to ask, would they hang up and talk to Barry, or do they just want an audience when they tell someone, “OK, I’m pulling into the Target lot now”?

And on a related note, I hope McCain won the “Who Do You Want to Have a Beer With” vote in Sturgis, since that involves either an extra-exciting bike ride, or what you drink while you’re waiting for your turn on Ms. Buffalo Chip.

Botswana Meat Commission FC August 6, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Carpooling = when you can’t hold it in any longer and pee on the vinyl seats of a 1979 VW Beetle.

Wagamuffin August 6, 2008 at 4:51 pm

[re=53364]WhatTheHeck[/re]: No, I think “carpooling” refers to a hot tub in a stretch Hummer.

Oh, let’s not go there…

PioBaroja August 6, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Most of McCain’s targeted demographic doesn’t have a problem carpooling with a black man. They just expect him to be wearing little a hat and sitting in the front seat of the Town Car.

freakishlystrong August 6, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Carpooling+Arugula Salad Tossing=Vacation?

kellygrrrl August 6, 2008 at 4:53 pm

“Carpooling” — is that what the kids are calling it these days?

AxmxZ August 6, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Why don’t these pollsters just come out and ask the question they all want to ask: “Would you boink Barack Obama stupid given half an opportunity and a guarantee that Michelle won’t find out and keeel you ded with a tire iron?”

populucious August 6, 2008 at 4:55 pm

While John McCain is the candidate we would most like to avoid at family holiday parties, because seriously, if we’ve heard Uncle John’s “Christmas in a Vietnamese tiger cage” story once we’ve heard it a million times, Barack Obama is undoubtedly the candidate we would most like to run over to Safeway and get us a gallon of milk and also some cucumbers for the salad.

The Real JR Revisted August 6, 2008 at 4:57 pm

Is Obama the type of guy who hogs the CD player? Cause I can’t listen to Jay-Z all day.

iwillsavethispatient August 6, 2008 at 4:57 pm

The meanings are pretty obvious:
Carpooling is where you share your ride with more than the normal number of people.
Vacationing is where you sleep somewhere else for a week-or-so.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 6, 2008 at 4:59 pm

[re=53356]Larry Fine[/re]: Orientals? Who let them vote?

confusionanddelay< August 6, 2008 at 5:00 pm

[re=53398]sezme[/re]: Nah, I think ‘carpooling’ means a quickie in, obviously, a car. Vacationing is fucking in a hotel. And how any white stay at home mother, spending her days alternating between bored and annoyed, slowly losing her looks and incessantly refreshing snarky political websites (oh, excuse me, got carried away there) could choose to spend theoretical sextime with shrivelled Johnny over Handsome Barry is beyond me.
Like so much else this campaign season, it makes me wonder who in the fuck these people are.

lawnchair August 6, 2008 at 5:07 pm

Cindy says she doesn’t let John drive any more. He was a craptastic pilot. And he has famous anger management issues. Obama probably drives like Tom DuBois from the Boondocks (“like an old bitch”). I’m thinking Obama.

SayItWithWookies August 6, 2008 at 5:09 pm

The poll, commissioned by Lifetime Network as part of its “Every Woman Counts” campaign…

Lifetime — making every woman count by ensuring they’re focused on stupid, irrelevant shit. So did they take the nation’s pulse before the Iraq war by asking if they’d rather cuddle with Saddam Hussein or Dick Cheney? Huh?

Canuckledragger August 6, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Carpooling = blowing him while he drives.

Vacation = full-on fucking for the duration.

Any questions?

rpeg August 6, 2008 at 5:18 pm

My ex-girlfriend’s mother was a white, “stay at home”, in her early 60s. God she scared the hell out of me.

V2peaceAllOver August 6, 2008 at 5:20 pm

“White women, seniors and stay-at-home moms”, what a reason to YAWN especially for the later two demo-Gs .

Michelle “Soul Sonic Force” will take out McBush (real life version of a katzenjammer kid) and his cindy (whoM is some 1/2 teenager 1/2 cadaver pillzpoppincougar)anyday in any p00p-a-lar-ity poll. HOV lane or not, whoM in their right mind would not want to hang out with Barry?

All this fun is enough to anticipate another hilton commentary.

…and y’all all thought GWB n’ crew were enough reason to seek refuge in canada?!?!?!?

LittlePig August 6, 2008 at 5:25 pm

[re=53423]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: You’re not from around these parts, huh?

Makeithurt August 6, 2008 at 5:27 pm

If I was a white woman (icky) I would want a Mandingo vacation with Jug Head, er, I mean, Obama. We would share a white stallion on our daily ride through the forest. I would sit behind his bulbous masculine black ass, I would slide my hand around his waist and let my fingers casually drop to his ever-hard crotch. I would grasp his licorice stick firmly and then pull it from his jodpuhrs by the thick base. I would hold it and let the gentle rocking of the horse bring him to a galloping climax while I ground my moistened…blah blah blah. But I wouldn’t vote for him. He’s a dick.

obfuscator August 6, 2008 at 5:31 pm

I honestly am unable to think of one single social activity that I would choose to do with John McCain.

thefrontpage August 6, 2008 at 5:32 pm

I want to go to work with that Landrieu woman from down South, or that Hemspeth (or whatever) woman in Congress. And then Sarah Palin. They’d be the ones to go to work with.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 6, 2008 at 5:36 pm

Carpooling is the new teabagging.

shortsshortsshorts August 6, 2008 at 5:38 pm

barack obama:
ckret wite wooman?

weirdiowasculpture August 6, 2008 at 5:45 pm

Fun activities with John McCain include laughing at his “Marvelous Ape” and “Janet Reno” jokes, which he keeps forgetting he’s already told you three or four times each; laughing when you pull his finger and he farts; laughing as parts of his face darken, shrivel, and fall off; and just basically laughing at him.

Texan Bulldoggette August 6, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Well as a woman with 2 small kids (6 & 3), frankly the last thing I (or most women) want is another cranky whiner in the car who has to go potty just as we’re all buckled into our car seats. Or who’s demanding to know when we’re getting there, asking for more juice & pooping in his diaper!

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 6, 2008 at 5:49 pm

[re=53397]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: I was so engrossed in fantasy that I replied to your replier. Yes, I meant you. Sweetbreads and whips. We eat the same foods.

gurukalehuru August 6, 2008 at 5:50 pm

[re=53392]Urbanachiever[/re]: What happens in Vegas…

iwillsavethispatient August 6, 2008 at 6:36 pm

[re=53452]LittlePig[/re]: Eh? Since when did “ride” and “sleep” not have more than one meaning when commenting here?

Outstando August 6, 2008 at 6:36 pm

[re=53484]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Seriously. McCain would be all “how come he gets to sit in the front seat” the whole fucking way.

Texan Bulldoggette August 6, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=53570]Outstando[/re]: Well, in all seriousness, McOld can’t sit in the front seat because if the airbag went off, it would crush his bones to powder.

Outstando August 6, 2008 at 6:48 pm

[re=53582]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Can we call him McCancer?

tocute2btrue August 6, 2008 at 8:19 pm

shortsshortsshorts <<>shortsshortsshorts<< don’t like girls anyway.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 6, 2008 at 9:04 pm

Oh, Wonkette, Wonkette…do we have to ‘splain everything to you? Don’t you keep up with American slang anymore? Have you become so virulently ensconced in your Eastern liberal homosexual ivory tower that you’ve lost touch with the language of the heartland?

“Carpooling” and “vacationing” are two very distinct acts.

Yes. And what do they mean, you ask? “Carpooling” is the modern way of talking about going on a “date”, that is, a one-night gig. “Vacationing”, on the other hand, is a heavy set of deep, well, intercourse over a sustained period of time.

So, America’s women – and a good number of us men, too – are hankering to do a playcation with adorable Barryman. And can you blame us?

fistedbymollyringwald August 7, 2008 at 5:54 am

Black women were asked the same questions, they said they wouldnt go near Barry as, and I quote, “we know full well the brother will run off with the anorexic white bitch as soon as the he gets successful”.

As for the white women and carpooling, I say thats damn clever. If they see a black guy driving most carjackers will assume the car has already been jacked and leave it alone. Smart these white women.

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