Wonkette
IS CINDY (OR A LOBBYIST) PREGNANT? “111-Year-Old Reptile To Be Father For First Time In Decades.” [AP/FOX]
METHUSELAH
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Johnny the tuatara and his mate Cindy, herself aged between 70 and 80, produced 12 eggs in mid-July after mating earlier this year
I didn’t realize sex was so difficult for old folks. This merely encourages me to be reckless and die early after via asphyxiation during an auto-ejaculatory event.
Come on, Ken, he’s not a reptile! He’s one of the undead!
McCain can’t have gotten either his wife or a lobbyist pregnant. He’s a Republican, they don’t swing that way.
Dipping into Dole’s meds again, is he.
“…had shown no interest in sex until he recently had a cancerous growth removed from his genitals.”
Melanoma removed from the peen? That’s not change we can believe in.
Say it ain’t so, Grandpa Lizzard is fertile.. ewwwwww…
That’s awful, having a laugh at the expense of a living fossil. And the tuatara probably has feelings too, y’know.
“In almost all frogs, egg fertilization happens outside the female’s body instead of inside. The female releases her eggs and the male releases his sperm at the same time. In order to make sure that the sperm reach the eggs, the male and female get into a mating posture called amplexus. The male climbs onto the female’s back and clasps his forelegs around her middle. Frogs can stay in amplexus for hours or even days as the female releases as few as one or as many as several hundred eggs.” Eeeew. Can you imagine disgusting old Walnuts having sexy times?
…WoW, science is has really come far! Now they can revitalize fossilized sperm.
Decades is a stretch. Didn’t he have that brown baby in South Carolina just a few elections ago?
This makes three posts in a row about polygamist politicians, John (aka “Jack”), Newt and the other Jack, all of whom cheated while their wives were crippled or cancerous!
Can we go back to black Muslim Communists now?
It would have been so perfect if Walnuts and Botoxina could have gotten preggers.. Then we could have blamed Barry…
I’m just going to assume that John Edwards had absolutely nothing to do with this.
…the visual I get of Cindy and WALNUTS! having sex is a dried out shriveled hot-dog wrapped in a tube of sand paper.
Ultra perfecto combination of post and linked content. Hilarious and out-fucking-standing.
Mazel Tov.
“Crocodiles and alligators are more closely related to dinosaurs than are tuatara, while birds are directly descended from one of the two major orders of dinosaurs.”
Isn’t the big question, what’s Fox News doing propogating the evolution MYTH? It’s a CULTURE WAR, folks!
(Hope I got the CAPS in the RIGHT place!!!11111eleven)
So long as it isn’t one of those uppity, presumptuous lizards Marc Singer had to fight in “V.”
…they probably had to hook him up to I.V. bag of Viagra and Cialis before he could even get it up.
Man, I guess the youtubes can get you laid. Good thinking McSpeedy.
norbizness: You mean Cindy McCain?
Having a cancerous growth removed from my genitals always makes me horny.
Since all of his sperm is in his mouth, all he has to do is spit at her.
His minions have been grooming Ann Coulter to bear the serpent’s seed. Why Satan has a thing for trannies, I dunno.
JeffGoldblum:
Yeah I was skeptical the article was about McCain ‘tll I got to that sentence.
Oh puhleeze. http://www.checnet.org/healtheHouse/chemicals/chemicals-detail.asp?Main_ID=327 Totally not pregnant. She’d rather die than have black roots.
After seeing the title I thought for a second that Strom Thurmond had come back to life!
Anita Cocktail: When has the risk of contracting cancer stopped a McCain before?