Newt Gingrich, Hobo Republican Congressmen Relive Glory Days In Empty Congress

  losers

The loser Republicans who refuse to take their vacation and are holding a Cuddle Party about energy on the House floor instead have employed, who else, Newt Gingrich, to get their message out! Gingrich heads a 527 called American Solutions for Winning the Future, or ASWF. The acronym is pronounced “Ass Whoof,” like a fart, which it is.

Oh, how pathetic is this? Don’t they remember that Gingrich lost everything? Or that drilling oil here doesn’t cut imports at all, which is the point, because we want more of this oil in toto for lower prices, which is bullshit anyway? Now we’re just going to be EXPORTING to the CHINESE or WHOEVER PAYS THE MOST? Oh criminy, why even bother.

[Think Progress]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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39 comments

  1. Doglessliberal

    That would be Newt Gingrich, Paragon of Morality and Ethics? Of course he is the Shining Knight of Virtue that the family values party looks to in its hour of need. I wonder how is latest wife is doing these days?

  2. AngryBlakGuy

    …the only time Newt Gingrich should open his mouth is when he is sukking a dikk! Ironically John McCain says that about Cindy all the time.

  3. AngryBlakGuy

    …Newt Gingrich is a star? If that’s true then that means Barry is more on the level of Jesus not Britney and Paris.

  4. Monsieur Grumpe

    Oooooh! They brought out the Newtman. Scary. Look out! He’s got another contract!

  5. nyhfrog

    I remember somebody, a couple of weeks ago,conjecturing that the McCain campaign was a piece of performance art and we just weren’t getting it.

    I hope the case for the Republicans as a whole (or should I say bunch of holes) is that Americans are finally becoming aware and immune to transparent stunts. Not a single one of these dipshits know a thing about actually legislating.

    We could seat the Republican congessman who served in the seventies, including the corpses of the ones who have died and they’d be more competent and would have more integrity.

  6. MoodProcessor

    Newt: “Hey look, everything’s effed up, and it has nothing to do with that fact that my fellow Repubelikkens have been on top for the last two decades. It’s those pesky libruls, and their mangy mutt Scoobama Doo.”

  7. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    They turned out the lights to support the candle making industry. Dan Rather reported it on CBS News.

  8. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    It’s all Clinton’s fault. If we had been able to drill in the nineties, we would have used up all our oil by now and been forced to alternatives. Instead like meth addicts we’re still sniffing the floor for any crystals we may have missed.

  9. mookworthjwilson

    I’m thinking Newt is VP timber…WALNUTS! leaves his crippled wife, Newt leaves the wife with cancer…sounds like a winning team!

  10. PioBaroja

    This man is the reason why congress has a six percent approval rating and forty eight percent of people think that the Republicans are still in charge. Also, people are idiots.

    Nonetheless, I love the fact that the august members of the GOP are now telling us that we need to drill directly into the skull of a polar bear, also on the Outer Banks right this very minute, in order to avoid propping up dictatorships. I thought the Saudis were our friends. I mean, they feel the same way about human rights and stuff that we do, right? We should also bring back Freedom Fries. Otherwise the terrorists have won.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Haven’t even watched the video but that pic says all you need to know about the media’s grasp of the situation: A bunch of Republicans are all yelling the same thing that caption calls it a Debate. That just makes the veins in my arms hurt.

  12. KevoTron

    [re=53101]nyhfrog[/re]: The sad thing is that the Republican party really buys into these shenanigans. Look at the narrative from the right: “Democrat vacation.” “Do-nothing-congress.” “pro-drilling in name only.” etc. Bush calls the whole thing grandstanding (which it is) and they freak out. I think they’re too afraid to face there constituents and want to pretend that this issue will get them reelected.

    Funny how the traditional five-week recess is all of a sudden a “Democrat vacation” because 25 GOP Congressmen decided it would be fun to have a sleepover in the house (I bet Boehner wore his sexy panties ‘just in case’). So… my question is were they “Republican vacations” until 2007 when they lost control of congress?

  13. pdiddycornchips

    So Republicans want someone to listen to them and they trot out the Newt-ster? Like Obama says,
    “These guys seem to be proud of their ignorance”.

  14. NotNotLickingToads

    The overwhelming stupidity of the “Drill here, drill now!” mantra is mind boggling…and the fact that much of our populace thinks that it’s fucking brilliant makes me think that we deserved G W Bush for eight years.

  15. V572625694

    What a miraculous thing, that Newt appears on the day we learn about neuticles. Does he have them? Does he wish he did? Would he consider an endorsement contract if they renamed the product “Newticles”?

    And should Ali Velshi have grown that beard? Wow, he really looks evil now.

  16. NotNotLickingToads

    [re=53158]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: And the really miraculously stupid thing is that “drilling” is now the solution…not “finding oil.” Apparently if we drill into the ground, oil will appear. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go strike it rich by drilling through the sidewalk in NW DC now…

  17. pdiddycornchips

    Didn’t Paris Hilton solve our energy crisis last night while lounging around Jason Binn’s pool in a stylish one piece? I’d like to see Obama or McCain do that.

  18. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=53158]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: When I first heard “Drill Here, Drill Now”, I instinctively pointed at my crotch with both hands. I was driving, so this did not go well. However, it never occurred to me that this would be an ACTUAL mantra. I thought it was a spoof of some kind.

  19. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=53176]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: I thought the right wing motto was oil before you drill, too? Man I feel REALLY sorry for those pages now.

  20. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=53158]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: …the U.S. has some of the most socially and politically inept citizens in western civilization. But the truth is politician want us that way because it easier to lie and steal from someone who is ignorant. Politician(namely Republicans) realized what happens when people are to informed during the Vietnam conflict. They realized that when people are too comfortable and have spare time/money they will take the time to educate themselves. If people are too busy worrying about how they will pay their rent, feed their kids, get to work or find a job they wont have time to get involved in government. That is the reason why the Republicans are so against social programs. The whole drilling debate is a perfect example of the ignorance of the American public and deception of politicians. Unfortunately ignorance in this country is a direct result of politics not the other way around.

  21. V572625694

    [re=53196]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “…when people are too comfortable and have spare time/money they will take the time to educate themselves.” I wish they’d do that, instead of towing boats up to the lake with their SUVs so they can go bass fishing. They should spend all their time on blogs, where real truth is found!

  22. KevoTron

    [re=53200]capitol hillbilly[/re]: Yes I’ve heard the parties at Fire Island just aren’t what they used to be since the Democrats took control.

  23. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Please let Dick Cheney show up next. Please let Dick Cheney show up next. Please let Dick Cheney show up next.

  24. Quacker

    [re=53196]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

    Actually, I think it’s the Truck Nutz!

    Seriously, you snark so good it nice to c u haz a brain for political sociology.

  25. Quacker

    When it comes to Newt, I’m one of the bitters. His asshole rethuglican contract on america cost me my legislative seat in ’94. And, we see how well THAT worked out.

  26. sanantonerose

    Oh these stupid fucking idiots give me a headache. Saw the “DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW” bumper sticker on the back of a huge double-cab pest control Ford truck today on my way to lunch. They should all be tarred and feathered and have a gas nozzle-shaped buttplug installed in their nether regions.

  27. HughJennicks

    [re=53094]Doglessliberal[/re]: Newt says he through dripping his pollywog in strange ponds, now that he has found his third wife through fornication and adultery. She is, after all, a French-Horn player.

  28. RobPetrified

    Shouldn’t the lizard mans orginization be called American Solutions for Winning In the PAST, or ASWIP?
    I would so love to be able to refer to little Newtons’ club as ASSWIPE.

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