Wonkette
A Wonkette Refuse Desposal Spy sends us this snap taken while biking through beautiful Lisbon, Iowa recently during the RAGBRAI, which is Iowan for “bicycle ride.” Bikers and volunteers were asked to vote for president by throwing stuff in the dumpster for the earnest young Egyptian man or the sinister one-eyed albino villain. The fellow on the left won by a three-to-one margin, which is why Barack Obama is President of Iowa. [City of Lisbon]
GARBAGE DON'T LIE
Large Heap Of Trash Points Way To Obama Landslide
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10:05 AM
on Wed August 6 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
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Electronic voting machines still aren’t working right, huh?
Of course. “Earnest young Egyptian ” was born in Iowa.
The Secret Service is intrigued by this.
Well, it’s bicyclists, for heaven’s sake. Everyone know McCain hasn’t ridden a bike since around the time they invented the wheel.
What’s funny is that this is probably much more accurate and available for recount than our E-voting tyrants. We should probably just copy this nationwide.
We learned yesterday that “bikers” of a lesser God prefer McCain. Or, at least, they didn’t boo him off stage.
I believe this more than I do Gallup.
Repubs don’t recycle.
What’s with Obama’s “moonie-face?”
All I know is when I vote, a bottle is usually involved…
As an Iowan, I’d like to correct the definition of RAGBRAI. It is: bike ride you do while still drunk and/or high after spending the evening watching middle-aged women slip-n-slide naked.
ManchuCandidate: Exactly!
I’m sorry but this isn’t accurate at all as it is set up to more likely represent people who recycle.
It would be like if elections were held on Tuesdays so as to give a disadvantage to people who work for a living.
…Barack’s dumpster was full of Evian and Chardonnay bottles while WALNUTS! dumpster was full of Ensure and prune juice bottles.
What exactly is it that the upstanding people of Johnson County are being told to refuse? Oh, and is ‘desposal’ the technique McCain used to rid himself of his first spouse?
Hopey may be getting all of the Evian and Mouton Cadet 1996 bottles, but wrinkly-old-white-guy is cleaning up on the Pepto, plasma and oxygen bottles.
BTW: RAGBRAI is the hindu god of fanny packs and blister ointment.
AngryBlakGuy: Jinx
Texan Bulldoggette: I saw him on a pennyfarthing once.
Are bike riders even allowed to vote in Iowa?
AngryBlakGuy: S.Luggo: Looked like a simultaneous snarkasm to me. HOT!
Among persons who recycle and bicyclists, anything less than a 50-1 win for Obama amounts to a tactical coup for McCain.
Changes the electoral map from “Red State, Blue State” to “Black Trash,” “White Trash.”
Garble: indeed, should’ve been recycling for Hopey and chaw spit/viagra for walnuts.
ManchuCandidate: That’s right, because this country was built on DISPOSABILITY, by God! Recycling is an evil Communist plot to bury this country under trees and surplus oil! High-visibilty consumption is our patriotic DUTY! So get out there and buy them SUVs, or else the terrorists who hate our freedoms will win!
No suprise since this was in a place called ‘Lisbon’. All those ‘Euro’ types love Hopey.
Now if they had only had a bucket where you could drop off your melanoma biopsies, McCain would’ve won in a landslide.
Wait! Lisbon isn’t in Johnson county!
I’m sorry.
RAGBRAI is not WHARRGARBL
I need to keep my internet memes straight
You mean, Points Way to Obama Landfill.
AngryBlakGuy: I was thinking along the same lines. Except Perrier bottles instead of the Evian, but only because that’s what I drink.
As silly as it sounds, these polls are probably a better indication than the media sponsored ones.
In the last Canada City election, a local burger chain ran a poll based on customer preferences on who they would vote for. They ended up to be the most accurate poll of the election as the Tory connected pollsters predicted a Tory majority gov (we have a parliament system up here) and all they got was a pissant minority.
Everything that went into the Obama bin was a soft layup, while those that went into the McCain bin was viciously hurled at the backboard by people who mistook the poll for a clown dunking event.
Just to be a pedantic asshole, it stands for “Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa.” But feel free to use the other, more colorful definitions.
is it just impossible to make WALNUTS look any younger than 90 years-old?
ManchuCandidate: Better than a burger chain would be Marc Zwelling, the premier non-Tory pollster in all of Canada; he’s based in Toronto.
RAGBRAI was a tough ticket when I lived in Chicago; I did GRAABAWR twice. I can’t cut the big local ride here in California, though; they climb the San Bernardino Mountains up to 8,300 feet at Onyx Summit, the highest paved road in Southern California (let’s not even consider The Death Ride in Northern California). We flatlanders are not designed for such feats. I sucked enough vacuum on the short, steep climbs of central Wisconsin; out here they go on for miles.
Words fail me, except ‘It’s either a bottle in front of me or a frontal lobotomy.’
shortsshortsshorts: http://www3.sympatico.ca/kyodamma/pix/mccainswim.jpg
WadISay: To address the issue of the Iowa cyclists bottle poll being skewed in favor of the elitist candidate I heard West Virginia is setting up a pair roadside targets where locals in their trucks can shoot their choice of targets as they drive by.
In fine West Virginia tradition the targets will be labeled “American Patriot” and “That Hussein Not White Fellow”. Target with the least buckshot wins.
Hey do they stop people (meaning me) from just chucking bottles at McCain’s head? The answer is they can’t stop me, ever.
Those are pictures of Dick Van Dyke (colorized by Ted Turner) and Ted Knight (dead, you know), right? Right??? So, who knows how accurate the poll is. Besides, Lisbon is in Portugal, and the Bike race is imaginary….
Wow, Obama overcomes heavy white trash registration to win 3:1.
This headline seems like a missed opportunity for some alliteration to the tune of “…Landfill Landslide!”
sezme: I see you took one of those jobs advertised by America Appalling. Brilliant.