McCain Offers His Old Lady To Gas-Guzzling Bikers

  scumbags

Classy.That John McCain really is a “man of the people,” which is why he went out to the Sturgis biker rally in South Dakota yesterday to praise the slobs for their slavish dependence on Muslim Arab petroleum. “This is my first time here,” McCain told the crowd of fat, tattooed motorcycle fetishists from the suburbs, “but I recognize that sound. It’s the sound of freedom.” The sound, actually, was just these people revving their foreign-oil powered bikes for no reason at all beyond a childlike delight in destroying everybody else’s peace and quiet. Oh, and then McCain offered Cindy to the motorcyclists, in a nod to the old Hells Angels’ tradition of letting everybody bang your old lady.

There’s a “beauty contest” of sorts held each summer at the Sturgis rally. And it’s just the kind of honor you’d want to see your wife achieve, if you’re the kind of repulsive old misogynist who calls your wife “trollop” and “cunt.”

Indeed, McCain felt so comfortable at the event that he even volunteered his wife for the rally’s traditional beauty pageant, an infamously debauched event that’s been known to feature topless women.

“I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said to cheers. “I told her with a little luck she could be the only woman ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.”

Add “Miss Buffalo Chip” to the list of foul things McCain calls his wife — it means “bison shit.”

 
Related video

McCain makes the rounds at biker rally [CNN]

Related

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

67 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    Wait wasn’t the motorcycle invented in 1884 by ZEH GERMANS? And a percentage of the gas they buy for their bikes goes into the pockets of terror groups as well, so the question bears:

    Why is WALNUTS such a terrorist now?

  2. SuperRounder

    Well, *someone* should see Cindy’s tits. I think WALNUTS! is more interested in Carly Fiorina.

  3. V572625694

    When did bikers go from being disgusting savages to a panderable Republican constituency?

  4. Larry McAwful

    When McCain announces his running mate, is he going to say, “Riding in the bitch seat for the next four years with me will be…”

  5. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=52123]V572625694[/re]: Ever since they beat the living shit out of all the hippies. This pleased the older gen.

  6. thefrontpage

    Sturgis is actually an awesome event! Really. Wonketters would love it–it’s nothing but a huge party. And the people are very cool–down-to-earth, all political parties, young and old, lots of parties and good rock and roll, and a lot of riding motorcycles. Politics aside, the event is really rarely political and always a lot of fun. If you ride, head on out to Sturgis one year–you’ll have a great time.

  7. Guppy06

    As someone who has to deal with Daytona Beach’s Bike Week, he’s really not endearing himself to me.

  8. greatgooglymoogly

    “It’s the sound of freedom.” Ugh.

    Okay, add “freedom” to the list of words that once had meaning but now have been completely diluted through overuse or other special pleading. Maybe we can just boil the language down to six or seven grunting sounds, which can change meaning with each slight inflection. Oh, wait, that’s Chinese. Nevermind.

  9. tunamelt

    [re=52120]BadNewsJack[/re]: It’s great for Wonkette, because they will never run out of stuff to cover, since everyone in politics is apparently insane.

  10. Spence

    [re=52123]V572625694[/re]: Yeah, Republican bikers. It’s one of the stranger confluences of evil.

  11. elfranko

    @V572625694: I ride a motorcycle, and frequent some motorcycle forums when not reading wonkette. Most bikers are, indeed, both disgusting savages and a panderable Republican constituency. I can’t stand most bikers, and I’ve been riding 27 years.

  12. Merry Christen

    Walnuts got the same voyeuristic pleasure out of watching fat stinky tattooed guys ride their large throbbing motorbikes as he would watching them ride his knock kneed pill snorting bimbo wife.

    He’s a REAL American, and therefore has MY vote.

  13. Sharktattoo

    Oh, how dare you impugn the good name of the Borg Queen? She can at least approximate human emotion.

  14. V572625694

    [re=52126]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Interesting how long hair has transmogrified from being a leftie, counter-cultural emblem to the uniform of the day for bikers, construction workers, and other troglodytes.

  15. V572625694

    [re=52136]elfranko[/re]: There’s such a huge difference between, say, a Ducati street racer and the ridiculous, chrome-encrusted choppers. Sort of like the difference between a 1959 Cadillac El Dorado and Ferrari of the same vintage.

    Plus all that leather and all those mustaches are pretty gay.

  16. Babe Vigoda

    i have a feeling the only way cindy would unleash her boobs would be if the sturgis event featured the tossing of quaalude necklaces to the bare chested. kind like a mini mardi gras sponsered by a pharmacutical company.

  17. sezme

    [re=52128]thefrontpage[/re]: Are you the same guy who fessed up to attending cuddle parties?

  18. Beer4Prez

    It brings a smile to my face that this rape-joking, misogynist Maverick is whom the Pro-Hillary-femi-obsessed-”Hillary deserves it cos she’s a chick”-bitters are staunchly voting for.

  19. Seek

    [re=52123]V572625694[/re]: About the same time it began to cost $10,000 to buy a “cheap” Harley. When you are spending more on a Harley than some of us do on our cars, you are in a Republican constituency

  20. MoodProcessor

    [re=52138]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]:
    “John, your continued attempts at gastric restraint are futile.”

  21. OuterBoroughPrincess

    [re=52123]V572625694[/re]: I’ve got to assume that “likely voter” would *not* be an apt description for the vast majority of attendees.

  22. V572625694

    [re=52173]OuterBoroughPrincess[/re]: Supposedly a lot of them are suburban poseurs, although I’m guessing their civilian occupations are mostly prison guard, deputy sheriff or some other way of working out inadequacy issues on the heads of others.

  23. pat robertsons personal trainer

    as george carlin [r.i.p., insert genuflecting] once said, it’s all part of the continued pussification of the american male. what used to be grimy outlaws and their sweaty mamas full of beer and crank rolling around, looking to destroy property and fuck teenagers is now suburbanite republican block voters and their overcompensation. see also dick cheney and nino scalia’s fenced-in hunts of wing-clipped birds.

  24. The Real JR Revisted

    Which proves that McCain married up when he married Cindy. And then proceeded to shit all over his Golden Egg Laying Goose.

  25. schvitzatura

    This leaves Obama to scoop up the equally high-income sig-other/hubbywife binary boom-mic’d ridin’ Honda Gold Wingers and arugula/endive eating, burnt chrome (non-double walled exhaust) “sewing machine” Teutonic BMWers demographics. Maybe a rare Ducati/Buell peep or two…

  26. TGY

    “but I recognize that sound. It’s the sound of freedom.”

    So that must mean bike exhaust is the ‘smell of freedom’. What, then, is the ‘smell of duty’? Perhaps it emanates from McCain’s pants? Time will tell.

  27. confusionanddelay<

    Nobody can accuse that asshole of acting ‘too presidential’. [re=52198]schvitzatura[/re]: Obama needs to go to Black Biker Week. That’ll show ‘em.

  28. CollegeStudent

    Well it is a well known that underneath McCain’s custom suit coat and hand tailored shirts he’s been whereing a T-shirt with writing on the back that says “If you can read this, that’s because its a “BIG PRINT” t-shirt”

  29. Darehead

    [re=52217]TGY[/re]: “I love the sound of freedom in the morning. … The sound, you know that gasoliny freedom sound, the whole Black Hills of Dakota. Smelled like… victory.”

    [McCain unhappily walks off]

  30. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    Ah, the thought of McCain racing about on a HARLEY-DAVIDSON CSC “Daytona” Trike with a tee that says, “If you can read this shirt, the cunt fell off.”

  31. jack4640

    “The sound, actually, was just these people revving their foreign-oil powered bikes for no reason at all beyond a childlike delight in destroying everybody else’s peace and quiet.”

    Haha, that could be out of a top-shelf Onion article

  32. Hooray For Anything

    It is the sound of freedom, if the sound of freedom is the sound of overly loud, overly obnoxious motorcycles screaming down the highway ridden by a bunch of fat, meth adled, white trash overcompensating for the fact they can’t see their dicks anymore because of the size of their beer belly.

  33. Darehead

    [re=52256]jack4640[/re]: The oil may be FAReign (that’s how McCain says it) but, my friends, the bikes are ‘MERICAN.

  34. Richard Gozinya

    [re=52261]Darehead[/re]: Might be assembled in America, but the parts are made in Asia. And their latest offering, from their only family that actually doesn’t suck, is the Muscle Rod.

  35. greensprout

    [re=52128]thefrontpage[/re]:

    “I laughed when I heard the guys at Buffalo Chip tell the story, but then I thought about the conversation I had with Pearl Gulbranson, who was working at the Crisis Intervention Center for domestic abuse, which is located in a house across the street from the Broken Spoke. Gather 500,000 people in one spot, feed them a lot of alcohol and there are bound to be some serious problems.

    “We average three or four ‘contacts’ a night,” Gulbranson said. “And a lot of women get abandoned here. They get left behind with no way of getting home. So we’re here to help.””

  36. Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    No doubt Walnuts! had to fork over some pink pills to Sassy Pants in order to get her to mount the stage and strut her Miz Bud stuff. Word has it the oil industry bid $15 for Cindy, and won.

  37. Giraffe

    You folks haven’t been to a bike rally lately, have you. I used to go to Daytona just for the party. Then one day, there it was, a vendor tent offering temporary tattoos. Now all you see are doctors, lawyers and dentists sporting beer bellies, new leather, fake tattoos and their secretary on their arm, hoping like hell somebody will think they’re badasses. Real bikers don’t give a flying f**k about politics. Those folks at Sturgis are fake to the core, which is why McCain fits in so damned well.

  38. Scooter

    Giraffe is right! Half the Sturgis attendees are just wannabe badboys like the Silicon Valley execs we met in Wyoming a couple summers ago. They were haulin’ their showroom-fresh hawgs in a fancy enclosed trailer pulled behind a Lincoln Navigator. Their leather jackets and dew-rags still had the price tags attached. Heavy-metal-thunder is a lifestyle they just rent for the weekend!

  39. Darehead

    [re=52686]Scooter[/re]: They got their ‘Be’ badboys, wannabes and infiltrators, city boys and country boys, and da women folk are given a free pass to be polyandrous, OK, true. All ages, all classes, yes. But one never sees LLLLLLiberals, gays, Hondas or persons of color.

  40. gliberal

    According to the videotape on KO, you don’t get to be Miss Buffalo Chip unless you can deep throat a banana for the judges. Nice vote of confidence from Walmart that Cindy can do. Hell she can do that with a goldang pineapple. Git ‘r done!

  41. economywine

    …then mccain grabbed his mama, leaped up on a nearby chopper, stomped it to life & blazed into the sunset trailing a halo of smoke & noise…

    you can operate a motorcycle Walnuts! right? you know hope to turn & stuff… it’s not like it’s connected to a fucking modem or anything.

  42. Darehead

    WTF? Ken changed the picture from cleavage to sumptin more like a Hallmark greeting card. He dun gone all fundie on us. I ‘spose yer gave up McDonalds too. Funny those folks surgin’ in Sturgis ARE many o’ da fundies though, the kind that like God’s law radder dan FEDRUL Gummint Laws, and this is there time to let it all hang out.

    Jack McHandy’s wife’s deep thoughts?

  43. sh(A)ne

    Wow — so much anger & so much stereotyping. Are you sure you guys aren’t Republicans?!

    Why the hatred for motorcyclists? Even the least-efficient Harley gets better gas mileage than almost any non-hybrid car on the road. Almost every new model gets 50+mpg on the highway. …And we really aren’t all, “fat tattooed,” slobs from the suburbs…but it’s good to see you’re so open-minded.

    Don’t believe everything you see on television, kids.

  44. sh(A)ne

    @V572625694
    >>Supposedly a lot of them are suburban poseurs, although I’m guessing their civilian occupations are mostly prison guard, deputy sheriff or some other way of working out inadequacy issues on the heads of others.<<

    See, that’s what I mean: You don’t know what you’re talking about.

    I was at the Harley 100th anniversary celebration in Milwaukee. Over 250,000 bikers rode in from all over the country — some were doctors, some were plumbers; but nobody cared about that. They don’t think about each other that way.

  45. DangerousLiberal

    [re=52123]V572625694[/re]: The same day DICK Nixon helped create the POW-MIA Flag/scam/sham

  46. DangerousLiberal

    [re=52686]Scooter[/re]: Word. I was driving x-country in 1995 to take a new job “back east,” and I made the mistake of taking I-90. For every motorcycle actually being driven on the road was a Chevy pick up or a suburban towing either an open or closed trailer clearly full of bikes that would be driven to Sturgis from about, oh, the rest stop on I 80 about 10 miles down the road. Plus, they took up every hotel room between Billings Montana and Cowpie, Wisconsin. Real men of the road, them.

  47. NDeeZ

    Better Late Than Never– I thought the “Miss Buffalo Chip” came from the old blonde joke:

    How is a blonde like a buffalo chip?

    The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

  48. rideshack

    I love those baby boomers. They have paived the way for us to make America whatever we want it to be. So far, we have failed. Our young, greedy and corrupt X generation has been wrecking everything they worked so hard to build for us. So, bikers, riders of the Iron Horse, I thank you and solute you for what you have done for us.

    Ride Shack

    P.S. Why do men love women in leather pants?
    Men love “new car” smell.

Comments are closed.