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ARTISTIC OUTRAGES

DNC Ad On ‘Puppet Masters’ Features Disappointing Fake Puppet John McCain

GODDAMMIT. You get an email from the DNC saying “Hey check out our new video, it is called ‘Puppet Masters,’ and it is about –” and you don’t even read to the end because shit, it is an ad with puppets in it, you are already clicking the clicky. Then: misery and heartbreak. This ad starts with a shitty kind of animated John McCain gesturing robotically but NO ACTUAL PUPPETS in the classical sense of, you know, some sort of three-dimensional figure operated either via strings or a hand up the butt. Jim Henson is puking with disgust somewhere in Puppet Heaven. [YouTube]


9:56 AM on Tue August 5 2008
By Sara K. Smith
898 Views

  1. Anita Cocktail says at 10:00 am, August 5th, 2008

    Although I like the sentiment, I’m a little irked that the brain trust at the DNC can’t tell the difference between a puppet and a marionette.

  2. Canuckledragger says at 10:05 am, August 5th, 2008

    McCain should have been Fraggled in ‘Nam.

  3. Anita Cocktail: Yeah - puppets usually require someone’s hand up someone’s backside…

  4. They had a muppet John McCain in the first iteration of that commercial, but the foam rubber on the face kept falling off in pieces and its was just too gross to air.

  5. Wouldn’t an ad with a hand up something’s butt involve Larry Craig?

  6. mc_frontalot says at 10:12 am, August 5th, 2008

    For serious, that is some bunkum. DNC should put the audio up and have people submit AWESOME PUPPETRY replacement vids.

  7. scott_dog says at 10:13 am, August 5th, 2008

    Massive Fail DNC. The puppet was far too animated to be McCain. Try finding a comatose puppet next time.

  8. Canuckledragger says at 10:15 am, August 5th, 2008

    mc_frontalot: No! No! No!

    You’re inviting another McCain “Green Screen” abortion.

    It’s…. too soon!

  9. Doglessliberal says at 10:15 am, August 5th, 2008

    Side note: we went to the Jim Henson exhibit at the Smithsonian this past weekend. Now there are some puppets. You want to see grown people walking around grinning like idiots and singing to themselves (I include myself in that group)? Go see it. DNC should have hired Bert and Ernie.

  10. SayItWithWookies says at 10:22 am, August 5th, 2008

    Unrealistic. Everyone knows McCain can’t do that with his arm.

  11. Larry Fine says at 10:23 am, August 5th, 2008

    Chucky is the Master of all puppetts. He could wipe the floor with Batman.

  12. Darehead says at 10:28 am, August 5th, 2008

    Larry Fine: Wait til he offers us a portal into his brain, a la “Being John McCain.”

  13. columnv says at 10:30 am, August 5th, 2008

    wurst ad evah

  14. I see JibJab has tough competitors.

  15. Smackdown says at 10:32 am, August 5th, 2008

    Canuckledragger: Fucking awesome.

  16. Anita Cocktail says at 10:33 am, August 5th, 2008

    Terry: You’d think they could have borrowed the 2 crabby old men from the end of each Muppet Show episode.

  17. ChernobylSoup says at 10:34 am, August 5th, 2008

    Canuckledragger: Brilliant.

  18. JamesMichaelCurley says at 10:35 am, August 5th, 2008

    Anita Cocktail: Statler and Hilton.

  19. I was hoping for something more along the line of Robert Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters, where it’s revealed that McCain is being controlled by an alien slug creature that has latched onto his back and sent its control tendrils into his nervous system. Then Obama could take off his shirt to prove that he is not under alien control, which would have the added bonus of extreme hotttness.

  20. DieOnTheTurnpike says at 10:40 am, August 5th, 2008

    Where are the Thunderbirds when you need ‘em?

  21. ManchuCandidate says at 10:46 am, August 5th, 2008

    Silly DNC. It’s not a hand up their ass, but rather brain slugs.

    http://brainslugplanet.com/Images/brain_slug.jpg

  22. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 10:46 am, August 5th, 2008

    Doglessliberal:
    DNC should have hired Bert and Ernie.

    They tried, but B&E refused unless the DNC endorsed full gay marriage rights. Civil unions aren’t good enough.

  23. Now that I think of it, he always did kinda look like a “Happy Sock”.

  24. WadISay says at 10:52 am, August 5th, 2008

    columnv: Totes agreed. They could have at least had Vicki Iseman’s head pop out from behind the podium.

  25. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:53 am, August 5th, 2008

    …errrrrrr, well its a start. Most Dem attack ADs fail because they aren’t DUMB(or over the top) enough for the average American. And if you take that personal then chances are I am talking about you. If I was going to re-make this AD I would have a Golum looking creature with a cheek pouch creeping threw a dark cryptic cave drinking from a barrel of oil saying “MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS!!!”. Then have a creepy voice say “John McCain is in bed with so many Oil lobbyist its surprising he doesn’t have an STD!”

  26. Josh Fruhlinger:

    Extreme hotness…for a presidential candidate. Obama, God bless him, still looks like the guy who really likes to run the slide projector in class.

  27. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 10:56 am, August 5th, 2008

    I see him as much more Punch and Judy than Muppets.

  28. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:56 am, August 5th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: …an addition to the end would be “John McCain is in bed with so many Oil lobbyist its surprising he doesn’t have an STD!…or does he?!”

  29. Canuckledragger: Still, you have to admit that the animation is the Spitting Image of John McCain.

  30. Gopherit v2.0 says at 11:10 am, August 5th, 2008

    Next time, they need to pay Peter Jackson to direct and produce the cartoon…..something ala “Meet the Feebles.”

  31. Neilist says at 11:13 am, August 5th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: If you were in bed with oil lobbyists, wouldn’t the risk be of getting an “STP,” rather than an “STD”?

    Or did I just date myself — again?

  32. RuperttheBear says at 11:13 am, August 5th, 2008

    TGY: Speaking of JibJab, did you see their new video! It’s HILARIOUS!

    Oh. Wait. Nevermind.

  33. Gopherit v2.0:
    …or Kevin Smith.

  34. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 11:20 am, August 5th, 2008

    Bring in Jack Ketch.

  35. Serolf Divad says at 11:21 am, August 5th, 2008

    Wow, did the DNC outsource production of this ad to Industrial Light & Magic? ’cause the special effects are friggin’ awesome… OK, not really.

  36. MoodProcessor says at 11:23 am, August 5th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy:
    For the last 48 hours, you and I have thought almost exactly the same thing.
    Though, I see him slavering over the oil barrel, growling “It’s oursssss….”

  37. Doglessliberal says at 11:34 am, August 5th, 2008

    Neilist: at least you don’t get STDs (or STPs) when you date yourself.

  38. KevoTron says at 11:36 am, August 5th, 2008

    I was expecting some kind of “Weekend at Bernie’s” routine with the corpse of Ronald Reagan.

  39. AngryBlakGuy says at 11:42 am, August 5th, 2008

    Neilist: …nah, Im actually a car guy.

    MoodProcessor: …ironically that whole movie is imitating life at this point time!

  40. AngryBlakGuy says at 11:44 am, August 5th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: …you can get STP when you flush your own fluids! Sorry I couldn’t resist that one.

  41. Doglessliberal says at 11:47 am, August 5th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: so it is best to hire a professional to flush them for you?

  42. WhatTheHeck says at 11:56 am, August 5th, 2008

    And they forgot to include the puppets, er, marionettes of Paris and Britney floating around in the background.

  43. Deepthroat says at 12:15 pm, August 5th, 2008

    Jim Henson is one of my heros… and it’s Statler and Waldorf you infidels!

  44. Deepthroat says at 12:18 pm, August 5th, 2008

    P.S. (in the future, please direct all Muppet related issues to me)

  45. regisgoat says at 12:25 pm, August 5th, 2008

    You guys are too hard on this cheap video. What about the pullback so we can see the proscenium arch? This is proof it’s all happening in some kind of theater or something, and that McCain is but a strolling player who struts and frets his plan to drill Mendocino.

  46. They could have at least made the mouth move

  47. loudmouthredhead says at 12:48 pm, August 5th, 2008

    Did some giggling stoner over the DNC just discover flash or something? At least to an Olbermann-style puppet theater with popsicle sticks and photos.

  48. eyesfriedopen says at 12:56 pm, August 5th, 2008

    Leave it to the socialist elite DNC to hire Monty Python to do their animation. What’s next, hiring Basil Fawlty to handle accomodations in Denver?

  49. itgetter says at 1:07 pm, August 5th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Am I going to hell because I LOLed at that? Or is it more likely that I’m going to hell for writing “LOLed”?

  50. schvitzatura says at 2:22 pm, August 5th, 2008

    Splitting Image’im…even Madonna looks the same!

    Just sub McThusela for Raygun; C.T. for Nance…

  51. Mean, misleading and, with regards to McCain’s movements, physically impossible. I love it!

  52. regisgoat: Yey, semi-obscure references!

  53. schvitzatura says at 2:34 pm, August 5th, 2008
  54. Keram2 says at 4:57 pm, August 5th, 2008

    It could be worse. They could have played something off Master of Puppets.

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