• February 15, 2012

GODDAMMIT. You get an email from the DNC saying “Hey check out our new video, it is called ‘Puppet Masters,’ and it is about –” and you don’t even read to the end because shit, it is an ad with puppets in it, you are already clicking the clicky. Then: misery and heartbreak. This ad starts with a shitty kind of animated John McCain gesturing robotically but NO ACTUAL PUPPETS in the classical sense of, you know, some sort of three-dimensional figure operated either via strings or a hand up the butt. Jim Henson is puking with disgust somewhere in Puppet Heaven. [YouTube]

{ 54 comments }

Anita Cocktail August 5, 2008 at 10:00 am

Although I like the sentiment, I’m a little irked that the brain trust at the DNC can’t tell the difference between a puppet and a marionette.

Canuckledragger August 5, 2008 at 10:05 am

McCain should have been Fraggled in ‘Nam.

larz August 5, 2008 at 10:06 am

[re=51904]Anita Cocktail[/re]: Yeah – puppets usually require someone’s hand up someone’s backside…

Terry August 5, 2008 at 10:08 am

They had a muppet John McCain in the first iteration of that commercial, but the foam rubber on the face kept falling off in pieces and its was just too gross to air.

Sean O August 5, 2008 at 10:11 am

Wouldn’t an ad with a hand up something’s butt involve Larry Craig?

mc_frontalot August 5, 2008 at 10:12 am

For serious, that is some bunkum. DNC should put the audio up and have people submit AWESOME PUPPETRY replacement vids.

scott_dog August 5, 2008 at 10:13 am

Massive Fail DNC. The puppet was far too animated to be McCain. Try finding a comatose puppet next time.

Canuckledragger August 5, 2008 at 10:15 am

[re=51916]mc_frontalot[/re]: No! No! No!

You’re inviting another McCain “Green Screen” abortion.

It’s…. too soon!

Doglessliberal August 5, 2008 at 10:15 am

Side note: we went to the Jim Henson exhibit at the Smithsonian this past weekend. Now there are some puppets. You want to see grown people walking around grinning like idiots and singing to themselves (I include myself in that group)? Go see it. DNC should have hired Bert and Ernie.

SayItWithWookies August 5, 2008 at 10:22 am

Unrealistic. Everyone knows McCain can’t do that with his arm.

Larry Fine August 5, 2008 at 10:23 am

Chucky is the Master of all puppetts. He could wipe the floor with Batman.

Darehead August 5, 2008 at 10:28 am

[re=51923]Larry Fine[/re]: Wait til he offers us a portal into his brain, a la “Being John McCain.”

columnv August 5, 2008 at 10:30 am

wurst ad evah

TGY August 5, 2008 at 10:30 am

I see JibJab has tough competitors.

Smackdown August 5, 2008 at 10:32 am

[re=51908]Canuckledragger[/re]: Fucking awesome.

Anita Cocktail August 5, 2008 at 10:33 am

[re=51911]Terry[/re]: You’d think they could have borrowed the 2 crabby old men from the end of each Muppet Show episode.

ChernobylSoup August 5, 2008 at 10:34 am

[re=51908]Canuckledragger[/re]: Brilliant.

JamesMichaelCurley August 5, 2008 at 10:35 am

[re=51930]Anita Cocktail[/re]: Statler and Hilton.

Josh Fruhlinger August 5, 2008 at 10:39 am

I was hoping for something more along the line of Robert Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters, where it’s revealed that McCain is being controlled by an alien slug creature that has latched onto his back and sent its control tendrils into his nervous system. Then Obama could take off his shirt to prove that he is not under alien control, which would have the added bonus of extreme hotttness.

DieOnTheTurnpike August 5, 2008 at 10:40 am

Where are the Thunderbirds when you need ‘em?

ManchuCandidate August 5, 2008 at 10:46 am

Silly DNC. It’s not a hand up their ass, but rather brain slugs.

http://brainslugplanet.com/Images/brain_slug.jpg

Botswana Meat Commission FC August 5, 2008 at 10:46 am

[re=51921]Doglessliberal[/re]:
DNC should have hired Bert and Ernie.

They tried, but B&E refused unless the DNC endorsed full gay marriage rights. Civil unions aren’t good enough.

Servo August 5, 2008 at 10:48 am

Now that I think of it, he always did kinda look like a “Happy Sock”.

WadISay August 5, 2008 at 10:52 am

[re=51927]columnv[/re]: Totes agreed. They could have at least had Vicki Iseman’s head pop out from behind the podium.

AngryBlakGuy August 5, 2008 at 10:53 am

…errrrrrr, well its a start. Most Dem attack ADs fail because they aren’t DUMB(or over the top) enough for the average American. And if you take that personal then chances are I am talking about you. If I was going to re-make this AD I would have a Golum looking creature with a cheek pouch creeping threw a dark cryptic cave drinking from a barrel of oil saying “MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS!!!”. Then have a creepy voice say “John McCain is in bed with so many Oil lobbyist its surprising he doesn’t have an STD!”

Terry August 5, 2008 at 10:55 am

[re=51935]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]:

Extreme hotness…for a presidential candidate. Obama, God bless him, still looks like the guy who really likes to run the slide projector in class.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 5, 2008 at 10:56 am

I see him as much more Punch and Judy than Muppets.

AngryBlakGuy August 5, 2008 at 10:56 am

[re=51944]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …an addition to the end would be “John McCain is in bed with so many Oil lobbyist its surprising he doesn’t have an STD!…or does he?!”

WIDTAP August 5, 2008 at 11:09 am

[re=51908]Canuckledragger[/re]: Still, you have to admit that the animation is the Spitting Image of John McCain.

Gopherit v2.0 August 5, 2008 at 11:10 am

Next time, they need to pay Peter Jackson to direct and produce the cartoon…..something ala “Meet the Feebles.”

Neilist August 5, 2008 at 11:13 am

[re=51948]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: If you were in bed with oil lobbyists, wouldn’t the risk be of getting an “STP,” rather than an “STD”?

Or did I just date myself — again?

RuperttheBear August 5, 2008 at 11:13 am

[re=51928]TGY[/re]: Speaking of JibJab, did you see their new video! It’s HILARIOUS!

Oh. Wait. Nevermind.

Servo August 5, 2008 at 11:14 am

[re=51965]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
…or Kevin Smith.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 5, 2008 at 11:20 am

Bring in Jack Ketch.

Serolf Divad August 5, 2008 at 11:21 am

Wow, did the DNC outsource production of this ad to Industrial Light & Magic? ’cause the special effects are friggin’ awesome… OK, not really.

MoodProcessor August 5, 2008 at 11:23 am

[re=51944]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
For the last 48 hours, you and I have thought almost exactly the same thing.
Though, I see him slavering over the oil barrel, growling “It’s oursssss….”

Doglessliberal August 5, 2008 at 11:34 am

[re=51971]Neilist[/re]: at least you don’t get STDs (or STPs) when you date yourself.

KevoTron August 5, 2008 at 11:36 am

I was expecting some kind of “Weekend at Bernie’s” routine with the corpse of Ronald Reagan.

AngryBlakGuy August 5, 2008 at 11:42 am

[re=51971]Neilist[/re]: …nah, Im actually a car guy.

[re=51987]MoodProcessor[/re]: …ironically that whole movie is imitating life at this point time!

AngryBlakGuy August 5, 2008 at 11:44 am

[re=52002]Doglessliberal[/re]: …you can get STP when you flush your own fluids! Sorry I couldn’t resist that one.

Doglessliberal August 5, 2008 at 11:47 am

[re=52010]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: so it is best to hire a professional to flush them for you?

WhatTheHeck August 5, 2008 at 11:56 am

And they forgot to include the puppets, er, marionettes of Paris and Britney floating around in the background.

Deepthroat August 5, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Jim Henson is one of my heros… and it’s Statler and Waldorf you infidels!

Deepthroat August 5, 2008 at 12:18 pm

P.S. (in the future, please direct all Muppet related issues to me)

regisgoat August 5, 2008 at 12:25 pm

You guys are too hard on this cheap video. What about the pullback so we can see the proscenium arch? This is proof it’s all happening in some kind of theater or something, and that McCain is but a strolling player who struts and frets his plan to drill Mendocino.

Godot August 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm

They could have at least made the mouth move

loudmouthredhead August 5, 2008 at 12:48 pm

Did some giggling stoner over the DNC just discover flash or something? At least to an Olbermann-style puppet theater with popsicle sticks and photos.

eyesfriedopen August 5, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Leave it to the socialist elite DNC to hire Monty Python to do their animation. What’s next, hiring Basil Fawlty to handle accomodations in Denver?

itgetter August 5, 2008 at 1:07 pm

[re=51922]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Am I going to hell because I LOLed at that? Or is it more likely that I’m going to hell for writing “LOLed”?

schvitzatura August 5, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Splitting Image’im…even Madonna looks the same!

Just sub McThusela for Raygun; C.T. for Nance…

AxmxZ August 5, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Mean, misleading and, with regards to McCain’s movements, physically impossible. I love it!

AxmxZ August 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm

[re=52034]regisgoat[/re]: Yey, semi-obscure references!

schvitzatura August 5, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Keram2 August 5, 2008 at 4:57 pm

It could be worse. They could have played something off Master of Puppets.

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