Jesus! This is the most painful video we’ve ever seen. Anyway, remember to vote for John McCain for … uh, what, wait, uhm …. [Jed Report]
John McCain Just Needs To Sit Down For A Minute
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Notice how the reporter says it LOUDER the second time around. That’s a big temptation when talking to senile people. But John’s hearing obviously isn’t the problem.
the debates are going to be epic. and by epic i mean fucking hilarious.
that’s not ch-ch-change… heh heh… we can believe in… heh heh.
Grandpa, no… wait… Grandpa that’s… that’s the remote for the DVD player… no you… you… wait… Grandpa listen to me… you can’t change channels on the TV with the DVD player remote… you need the… no… no… no that’s… that’s not… listen to me Grandpa… that’s not it either… that’s the Wiimote… the… the Wiimote… you know the one you use to play the bowling game you like so much? Yeah… no, it doesn’t change channels either… you want this one… what… because you can’t… no, Grandpa listen to me… you can’t change channels with the Wiimote or the DVD remote… just use the big silver one, that’s the TV remote. Whu? Bill O’Reilly? No, I don’t know when he’s on TV.
My senile grandfather also has difficulty tracking conversations.
[re=51362]Aurelio[/re]: Right. And him, Christ and Trollop look like a confused group of friends at bingo night.
That wasn’t a pause. He said nothing. Which was the answer.
Considering the fact that the more McCain does something stupid, the more he goes up in the polls, this should give him another point or two.
“I thought… I thought… you said you were alright Spider. No, I though I heard, I thought I heard someone say somethin, Spider, Spider…”
[re=51365]southernbitch[/re]: I am mixing cocktails now, just waiting for the big event!
He almost said, “Who am I? Why am I here?” Won’t be much longer,
Admiral Stockdale</strike) Senator Macain.Then they’ll give the nomination to Huckles. Hilarity will ensue.
McCain: “Oh, shit. My pants just fell down. Help! My pants!”
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. Of Blithering Senile Imbeciles. [re=51365]southernbitch[/re]: Yeah, we’re going to find the debates hilariously one-sided, but if McCain manages not to piss himself he’ll be declared the winner for having beaten the expectations.
Oh, like none of you have ever had a small stroke….
[re=51365]southernbitch[/re]: So agree. I think Obama should try making up words to see if McCain notices. “Well, I have to disagree with you Senator, I think that investing in geomushroombananahammockpasties power will not result in the kind of immediate relief our citizens are seeking. We need to drill for oil and invest in coal and nuclear.”
[re=51368]Maddy[/re]: Your grandfather should send his resume to John McCain. He sounds like Vice-Presidential material to me.
“brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down”
[re=51371]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Just like Travis Childers!
[re=51377]V572625694[/re]: Bad HTML again. Damn it. Strikeout should’ve ended after “Stockdale.”
“Buster, my pills!”
[re=51371]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Actually, the video cuts out too early. Unbelievably, he went on to say that his great contribution to African Americans was his fervent support for the recognition of Martin Luther King Jr. Day in Arizona. Which is, of course, a complete and total lie, as McCain fought against the recognition of this very offensive holiday for years.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/08/02/mccain-lies-about-his-support-for-mlk-jr-day-in-arizona/
Well, I think this means that maybe SC Governor Mark Sanford is back in the VP race! Remember this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2nNSMZKv_A
[re=51382]Uncle Al[/re]: Win.
Wow, the McThuselah administration is going to be comedy gold. Hopefull I’ll be able to laugh, what with the crushing depression and poverty.
…they told me we would have applesauce…and shuffleboard…Cindy get me a Chelada, you Cunt.
Quick! Somebody get this man a juice box! His blood sugar is clearly low.
Or maybe he’s just a befuddled old racist.
I hoping he just strokes out during a debate. I want it on live teevee. All Barry has to do is get that vein in his temple pulsing with rage.
Future closeted VP candidate Charlie Crist looks concerned, and orange.
Chuckie Crist’s eyebrow raise @ ~2:00 says it all (~5 seconds after the reporter finished her two-part question)…”why am I even bothering with this Andropov-like fossil, other than lining up for heir-apparency”…
I bet Cindy and Charlie’s anuses were contracting during this incident
Alas, [re=51373]Hooray For Anything[/re] is too bloody right: this kind of thing just lowers the bar for McCain. Tomorrow the media will report McCain successfully and forcefully remembered his kids’ names, while Obama forgot the value of pi to 50 decimal places in front of a small crowd of under 200,000 persons.
McCain’s response sounds like the kind of thing someone says when you ask them about something they should know about but have no idea.
I used to do that kind of thing all the time when I got called on unexpectedly in school. Especially when I had been asleep.
Is that…a…senior moment?
As a lifelong Republican, what was this again about a Mr. W. McSpeedy?
“Sorry, Ma’am, it’s hard for me to lie and spew blatant hypocrisy at will anymore. I’d rather just curl up on the Sofa with my lobotomized wife— or some lobbyist who looks just like her— a warm bowl of Ensure® and Matlock on the TV, and just wait for the skin cancer to eat my face. Did I ever mention it’s a bad idea to move to Arizona if your skin is covered in tumors? Oh, but at least it’s not black. The end! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….”
[re=51430]WadISay[/re]: Obama would be lucky if the press criticizes him for forgetting the value of pi to 50 decimal places. Imagine the uproar if he said something like he likes brie cheese or starts a sentence with the phrase “when I am President” or gets caught again trying to keep his weight down? That’ll be at least five points thrown McCain’s way.
[re=51395]itgetter[/re]: Er, ugh… I voted for Martin Luther King Day? Er, hmmm… eh… I meant to say I used to watch Sanford and Son.
[re=51446]John McClain[/re]: Not Matlock.
McHales Navy re-runs.
He has that demographic in his pocket.
Thank Matt Taibi for this gem of insider info.
Finally, when the camera angles get around to showing Crist, I just knew (just knew) he was going to look back at the questioner like they were the one at fault. Stand there with fake sincerity, then throw it back at the media. Also, let’s not forget our current president is an imbecile too.
In the provocative yet humble words of Chuck D and Flava Flav (Public Enemy circa ’92)
BACK TO ARIZONA !!
For those of you too young to remember the early childhood of gangsta rap this was a chart topping song about how Arizona dissed MLK and blacks in general by OUTLAWING MLK day, and being labeled more racist than West Virginia by the ENTIRE rest of the country. John McCain was an ardent foe of MLK and kept mumbling something about those uppity darkies needing to know their place in his state. True story.
Leave the poor old stumbling dumbfuck alone. That girl was being a total bitch with her haughty air of presumption and her Ivy League obsession with proper pronunciation and underlying supposition that the civil rights era was good.
This reminds me why I wouldn’t have wanted my 72 year old grandfather to be president. Hell, he couldn’t even remember what letters (that were already on the screen) had been called on Wheel of Fortune. I mean maybe he was just gawking at Vanna, but scary to think someone his age could be in charge of anything other than trying not to slurp too loudly.
Why is he wearing all the make-up to look like an old, doddering, tired, dribblignd, sssshhnn. /consciousness.
That was on par with a Miss America question-and-answer session.
McCain beats expectations again!
We’re hosed.
[re=51535]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Same with my grandfather, but my 76 year old brother-in-law plays tennis every day, runs several miles and recently broke three bones in his neck while surfing. So age isn’t everything.
Problem with McCain is that he’s old and STUPID!
There’s a hurricane blowing, poor Cindy’s eyelashes are coming off in the wind and Juan is clinging to the podium for dear life or else be blown away…WHY is that irritating reporter asking such annoying, irrelevant questions? I mean, give the senior citizen a break already.
Go home and look it up and read it–that’s what elementary school teachers always say when they don’t know the answer.
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