John McCain’s EPIC New Ad Loves Barack Obama!

  hyped follow-ups

Oh man, this ad is so much better than “Celeb.” While that last one was creepy, this one is funny (or rather, “less creepy”), and expensive-looking, and has an upbeat soundtrack, and says all sorts of nice things about Barack Obama! Also, McCain *finally* admits that Barack Obama freed the Jews from Egypt back when he was a state senator in Illinois.

We don’t get it. Where’s the attack? Probably he’s trying to tell the Fundies that voting for Barack Obama is like worshiping the golden calf false idol. Same message for the Florida Jews. Oh God, so it actually is just as creepy as the Britney Spears ad.

Now here’s a thing, check out this Satirical still of the yellow, “heavenly” horizons that appear throughout the video:

 
Related video

And compare to this very not Satirical, and widely mocked, poster that John McCain has been selling in his famous Online Store:

So is McCain secretly making fun of himself here? Of course, because that’s all he ever does, and he doesn’t even know it.

The Bitters must be so fucking confused.

The One [YouTube]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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118 comments

  1. Lazy Media

    They really didn’t learn that Reagan-campaign lesson that images are 90 percent of the message, did they?

  2. Bandito

    So are you telling me when I check the box on my Form 1040 to donate $3 to the presidential election fund, this is where it goes? Fuck, that’s the last time I do that.

  3. botlrokit

    Hmmm… didn’t Moses also drop turd and run to the hills, only to emerge as a great leader?

    McCain is going to kill his own campaign, based solely on his own (subtly implied) worship of Teh One. If he keeps telling people how great Obama is, they might start fucking believing it.

  4. filmsoncon

    Luckily for WALNUTS!, elections aren’t popularity contests!

    Please keep this strategy, please keep this strategy, please keep this strategy….

  5. Jimb

    OMG! Obama is obviously not saying “Never” when the reporter asks the question “Do you have any doubts?”

    It looks like Obama is saying “no” and the RNC edited in Obama saying “Never.”

    Way to go, McCain! Why no CGI Obama aborting a baby while you’re at it?

  6. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    And then he didn’t use Jesus H. Christ at the end? Viagra running low?

  7. obfuscator

    Does McCain’s team really think that “hamfisted sarcasm” is the way to go with their tv ads?

  8. TheRealJimbo

    I hope someone is collecting material for a book on the McCain campaign, because I’m going to want to read it.

  9. weirdiowasculpture

    “It’s morning again in America. The sun shines out Obama’s ass. He’s cool and confident and smart and sexy, but I’m just a doddering incontinent old fart that knocks over the applesauce all the time. So vote for Obama for God’s sake!!

    I’m John McCain and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

  10. Junior

    Let’s see here, I’ve got my RNC commercial checklist:

    White girl/black guy innuendo? Check!

    Charlton Heston? CHECK!!

    Quoting a second hand misquote? CHECK!

    Looks good to me!

  11. accidental_tourist

    I probably won’t know who I’m voting for until November 4th – there’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip, and I’m just watching, waiting.

    But I must admit that this single ad did more to steer me toward Obama than anything else since he threw his hat in the ring oh so long ago. Way to go McCain – seems all your life, you’ve snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Keep reminding us of that.

    I read somewhere that Karl Rove’s people took over McCain’s campaign a few weeks ago – no wonder it’s been a joke the past few weeks. Obviously, Rove thinks religious people are crazy and he plays into what he perceives as their “fears” by planting the seed that Obama just might be the anti-Christ who will lead us to destruction, Armageddon, whatever. Christians the world over should be really pissed for being played like such fools since 2000.

    I am now convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that McCain does not want to really be the next president. NEXT!

  12. wander_lust

    are you sure this is a real campaign ad? because if so, the entire campaign STAFF should be fired. well, i guess we already knew that.

    this just confirms what everyone has known all along. barry…is… jeebus…

  13. wander_lust

    [re=50365]wander_lust[/re]: oh and by “the entire campaign staff” i meant also john mccain, obviously

  14. rpeg

    I’m new to Wonkette and I’m limited on snark so I just want to add that Obama is a metaphor. That’s it. And he knows this! He’s just a god damn metaphor and that’s freakin’ good enough.

  15. nietzscheprojectile

    Isn’t the point of being the One that you get to lead?!? Also the light shining down thing was Barry making a joke about all this nonsense.

  16. anabellum

    “So is McCain secretly making fun of himself here? Of course, because that’s all he ever does, and he doesn’t even know it.”

    way to nail it…

  17. anabellum

    [re=50375]Jimb[/re]: as i recall, thats exactly what Barry said…never…

    in context, it was slightly humorous…

  18. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Silly WALNUTS…you can’t concede he’s the freaking One if you wan to win. Maybe McNasty doesn’t. Does anyone know why he wants to run?

  19. schvitzatura

    [re=50364]accidental_tourist[/re]: So sayeth the Tiburtine Sibyl:

    At that time the Prince of Iniquity who will be called Antichrist will arise from the tribe of Dan. He will be the Son of Perdition, the head of pride, the master of error, the fullness of malice who will overturn the world and do wonders and great signs through dissimulation. He will delude many by magic art so that fire will seem to come down from heaven. … When the Roman empire shall have ceased,39 then the Antichrist will be openly revealed and will sit in the House of the Lord in Jerusalem.

    This McCain advert has all the trappings (and accompanying fingerprints) of a hackneyed M. Fuckabee bible school dissertation…World Leader Pretend dog-whistle politics, some?

    Except there is dissent coming from another so-called “authority” in the peanut gallery pantheon of Talibangicalism (~3:01)

  20. Jimb

    [re=50383]anabellum[/re]:

    It looked like it was tongue in cheek. But replay that part with the sound down and it looks like he’s saying ‘no’, not ‘never’. ‘Never’ sounds arrogant, “no’ sounds less absolute — and funnier.

  21. Komando

    Typical Republican campaign tactic: turn strength into weakness. Jon Kerry’s strength was his record as a war hero. So turn his record into a negative issue with the swift boaters. Al Gore’s strength was his executive experience and intellect. So turn him into a nerdy nerd nerd nerd. I don’t know if it works on this one though. Obama’s strength is his popularity. So turn him into … Jesus?

  22. wx insider

    WOW! This ad must have hit a nerve
    with all the Hopey suporters in here
    ’cause they are all tripping over each
    other running to his defense!

    You better fucking get over this real soon
    because the election is still 28-months
    away, in dog years.

  23. Hooray For Anything

    The ad is so incredibly lame that it’ll be played thousands of times on the cable news networks by people who want to show how lame it is and to attack the McCain campaign for it’s lameness only to bring out their entire political team to debate whether or not Obama really is Moses.

  24. Yup

    After watching this, I have three thoughts:

    1) This has to be a joke. Right?
    2) If it’s not a joke, are we supposed to think that the messiah could save us but NOT do the job that GWB’s managed to keep for the last 8 years?
    3) I’m starting to think that McCain’s entire candidacy is the final stage of a revenge scenario he’s been planning against the republicans since they smeared him in 2000. Get on the ticket, and then burn the party to the ground. In which case, I kind of love you, John McCain.

  25. accidental_tourist

    Can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m running away as fast as I can from the McCain/Rove offensiveness more than towards Obama’s defense. McCain/Rove are starting to make everyone else look shiny and new, even Nader, Barr, Baldwin, etc.

  26. RubberSoul

    Are the YouTubes slow for anyone else today? Or is it because the McCain campaign still uses dial-up?

  27. HuddledMass

    Is this ad supposed to be hilarious? Because it really is…. I expect McGrumpy’s campaign staff to be making their individual contributions to the unemployment stats soon.

  28. AxmxZ

    [re=50368]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: How much do you want to bet the next ad will be all Matrix-y and feature Barry in his sexy shades, stepping sexily out of cars and flying in sexy helicopters with sexy generals?

  29. schvitzatura

    Does this mean Hopey is going to smash the 2008 Dem planks, having been bequeathed them by a burning bush/smoke-filled room up at Pike’s Peak, upon seeing the debauchery and false idol worship (remember, it’s not over until the lady in the striking golden-calf colored pantsuit sayeth it is, yea verily) back in Denver?

    He’ll never cross the River Jordan into the Promised Land? WTF?

    This advert has the stink of Gomer Fuckabee divinity school dog-whistle politics all over it…

  30. AxmxZ

    [re=50378]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Mystery of the ages, solved! Thus it was written: Jesus H. Christ. And lo! it came to be.

  31. AxmxZ

    [re=50409]Jimb[/re]: I can’t wait for someone to find actual footage of that interview and publish a transcript detailing the depth and breadth of McCain’s fail.

  32. commiegirl

    [re=50497]schvitzatura[/re]: Yeah, I would think they’re trying to pull the anti-Christ dogwhistle … except they’re hilarious (and intentionally!) which is so never their strong suit and not exactly the tone with which you woo the Christers. Although, at least they fuck up the punchline at the end.

  33. Joey Ratz

    [re=50488]AxmxZ[/re]: The campaign being what it is, I wouldn’t put it past them to have McCain wearing sexy shades, stepping sexily out of cars and flying in sexy helicopters with sexy generals. “Kids these days love that Matrix movie and that Neo fella. Let’s try some of that.” Next pic – WALNUTS! in a leather catsuit and wraparound shades, carrying one of those new-fangled ‘cell phones’. It’ll be great!

  34. StripesAndPlaids

    I love this ad! Because if he is the One he must be able to lead. What is the point of being the One if you don’t have the power to lead. That would be like a Superman being able to fly without being bullet proof. Which of course would make him vulnerable to Dick Cheney.

  35. Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=50422]wx insider[/re]:

    WOW! Did you just get to the party? You should have been here earlier; it was much more FUN (until you showed up).

  36. gurukalehuru

    OMFHS, I have had an epiphany, and it ain’t pretty. This is not about race any more. They want to portray Obama as the anti-christ. The celebrity ad, now this.
    This election is going to be a straight up smackdown between the jesus-loving, bible-misquoting, cousin humping denizens of America’s soft underbelly, and us rational folks.
    I’m worried about the numbers.
    //snark back on
    Maybe Barry is Jesus, what then, huh?

  37. Fear of a Black Reagan

    Ol’ Man Reagan’s dirty teevee trickster Mike Deaver used to say, everything you need to know about an ad is when you watch it with the sound off. Don’t matter what the words are. Positive images is positive images.

    All of McGoo’s ads make Obama look *totally awesome*.

  38. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=50515]Joey Ratz[/re]: He could try giving someone a pound, but I think that they would have to be shorter.

  39. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=50532]gurukalehuru[/re]: There could be some converts from this ad and I mean that not in a political way, but religious.

  40. ph7

    Actually, let’s hope that Obama is the anti-christ, so the Christians can be summoned up into heaven. Don’t know about you, but I’m throwing a party for all those left behind.

  41. obfuscator

    This is almost as shitty as “Hillary In The House”, and it’s an official campaign ad.

  42. ph7

    Nice photoshopping on the McCain poster, BTW. Warm color added to the skin tone, botox filter, and erasure of skin cancer eruptions.

  43. BadNewsJack

    [re=50546]ph7[/re]: Actually, Im thinking we’re gonna be the ones warped up to heaven, playing hacky sack with Jesus and Buddha

  44. larz

    Now the blue hairs and trailer trash will vote for Obama – this has the look and feel of Sunday morning church (on the tee-vee).

  45. slavojzizek

    I think they should have cut to “water bottles for dehydrated babies” to show us what a LEADER looks like.

  46. slavojzizek

    [re=50446]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yes! Both forgot the punch lines. The New Yorker left me wondering if Remnick et al really fear a black president, while this ad left me thinking everyone on team McCain is voting for Barack.

  47. irisheyes

    Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph…who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to keep putting out these ads where the ENTIRE time in the background you hear many happy people chanting “OBAMA!OBAMA!OBAMA!”?! I mean, is the McCain campaign really that inept? Can it be that they think sarcasm and irony are the way to go with their base?! Oh for fuck’s sake I need a drink. They’re making it so easy Obama’s guaranteed to lose.

  48. shortsshortsshorts

    “Obama may be the one, but is he ready to lead?”

    This sounds like a fucking Hillary commercial. JEEBUS. Their like “we love him too!! However, maybe he isn’t ready to be Prez, quite yet, maybe. That’s why we’re using a question mark.”

    This is the worst video I have ever seen regarding a candidate trying to promote their own cause, and I’m posting that comment on BarackBook (“now in 7 flavors!”)

    HACKS.

  49. sezme

    So if McCain the campaign is now doing ads for Obama, does the Obama campaign have to keep making ads of their own? What else is there left to say, really?

  50. Godot

    [re=50368]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I think it’s more likely that George W Bush is Agent Smith, and he seems to have copied himself over the real John McCain.

  51. Vanity Smurf

    Oh noes, Massa Rove, please, please don’t conflate my Barry with MOSES! How ever will we manage with you constantly showing people all the awesomeness that is Barry. Oh, wrack and ruin!

  52. Godot

    I think it’s rather ironic that McCain is trying to cast Obama as arrogant by sarcastically proclaiming his greatness, and attempting to do so using clips of Obama joking sarcastically about his own perceived greatness.

  53. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=50601]Godot[/re]: I think it’s funny that we are posting sarcastically about a video that is sarcastically portraying somebody being sarcastic.

    *head explodes*

  54. problemwithcaring

    Obama the “muggle,” may be the charismatic prince of wizardry, and the only person cablable of defeating He Whom Shall Not be Named – but is he really ready to lead?

  55. sati demise

    [re=50345]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]:
    Will this enrage the Xtian fundies, or will it make them think of Obama-the-anti-Xist?

    If the former, there will be riots in the streets all across the Bible belt.
    The latter, depends on their ‘interpretation’ of Last Days theology.

  56. Slutty_Chola_Cobbler

    People with real dollars (not monopoly moné) actually buy that piece of shit photo with Walnuts McViagara’s lizzard face on it? Yyyyyyyyyyuck!!!
    I’d lose my fucking libido if that shit hung on my walls!

  57. lawchic

    First things first, I love me some Barry, but that shit was hilarious. But on a serious note, I feel bad for people that are donating to McCain. He seems to spend their money so carelessly, on really shitty ads. And can I start a petition to Barry to ask him to stop calling McCain things like honorable? Because after his tactics in this last week alone, he does not fit the bill.

  58. AxmxZ

    [re=50729]patman[/re]: Well, South Park connected Britney to sacrificial harvest virgins of ye olde times, and Jebus was the lamb sacrifice of God whose blood redeemed everyone. So in effect, Barry can be like both, but only if he gets publically slaughtered.

  59. CivicHoliday

    This is fantastic. This campaign must continue for all time. They’ll have a video of the inauguration with thousands of cheering Americans, soaring music, flags waving…then end with, “But, My Friends, Is He Ready To Lead? C’Mon, It’s Never To Late To Change Your Mind. Let’s Start A Coup! Home-Grown War 4 Everybodiez!!”

  60. badco/LoJ

    Holy shit, they did dub in the “never.”

    Next they’ll tell us that Obama’s urine cures cancer but – is he ready?

  61. badco/LoJ

    [re=50780]badco/LoJ[/re]: Eh, just bad audio sync. That’s cool – I’d hate for that to cloud the sheer absurd incompetency of this campaign.

  62. gurukalehuru

    Is he ready to lead? Yes, he is.

    The beautiful thing about the “Yes, we can” motto: Any three words that begin with “Yes, we” work.

  63. Darehead

    The foreigns amongst whom I dwelleth were pretty enlightened by this.
    ‘Yes! It’s about time you get a president who is ready to read!”

  64. jasonelias

    It’s the damnedest thing, every ad they do makes Obama look better and presidental and John McCain insanely older and oddly shorter.

  65. Scooter

    Ok, the four jets stand for the four planes McCain crashed even before being shot down, but are those clouds symbolizing the smell from his armpits? Diaper? A little help, please!

  66. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=50796]CollegeStudent[/re]: …he sure as hell isn’t Trinity! At least I hope not.

  67. selfevaltuation

    Wow. Paying for an ad that spends its whole time
    complimenting his apponent… either this is
    really avant-guarde in a way I’ve yet to understand
    or just really, really stupid.

    I’m inclined towards the latter.

  68. Cicada

    One thought: WALNUTS! better pray to his white Jeebus that Barry blows it BIG at the debates. If his entire message is “Barry’s an empty suit”, then he’s going to be screwed if Barry looks well informed or even just competent.

    Frankly, after watching WALNUTS! less than stellar debate performances I’m doubtful he’ll blow Bear- Bear out of the water.

    If I believed in that karma woo-woo, I’d say this is WALNUTS! getting what he deserves for running with the Rovian dogs. Remember when he talked about a “respectful” campaign? Ha-ha.

  69. The 3-Legged Man

    I didn’t realize they had video back when Moses was around. How come they haven’t found any of the videos of Jesus and Muhammad when they used to hang out together? It’s too bad they didn’t have myspace back then, because Jesus’s page would’ve said, “2 billion friends” and Moses would have been shown shooting deer or something to support the NRA.

  70. samfish

    At the end, I was all like, “Wait, what?”

    The McCain campaign is just getting funnier and funnier by the day!

  71. serj!

    Wonkette’s commenters gotta be the funniest on the net, right up there with the commenters at Swampland whenever Joe Klein posts. . .

    (i only posted this to see how my avatar shows up. . .yeah i’m a geek!)

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