There’s been a hilarious debate on the Internet the last couple of days, as per usual, about whether the McCain “Celeb” ad was Racist because it chose two young white gals, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, as Barack Obama’s alter egos instead of the actual two most famous celebrities in the world. It is, apparently, a similar situation to the attack ad on Harold Ford in 2006, where he is constantly talking to loose white women on the telephone. If John McCain were to *objectively* pick the two most famous people in the world, the liberals argue, at least one of them would have been TIGER WOODS, the GOLFER. The conservatives do not believe Tiger Woods counts, however, because he has accomplishments!
Prepare to rock and/or roll.
Here’s a well-received liberal post from Newsday‘s John Riley.
We just got off a conference call with Camp McCain, defending their new ad comparing Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.
They said they thought the ad was legitimate because Obama is a big celebrity (which happens to be what John McCain was, too, when he came home from Vietnam and started to build his political career), and Britney and Paris were Number 2 and 3.
The problem: Anyone with even a vague sense of pop culture knows that Britney and Paris are yesterday’s news. Here’s a link to Forbes’ Celebrity 100. Paris and Britney don’t even make the list any more.
Instead, the top 10, in order: Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce Knowles, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Jay-Z, The Police, JK Rowling, Brad Pitt.
John Riley is not merely a political writer, folks. He is the official Arbiter of Pop Culture Celebrities as chosen by America’s hip youngsters. You think Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are famous? Well that’s a nice ROCK YOU’RE LIVING UNDER, SIR NERDLINGTON. Try reading some fucking FORBES whenever you leave your current loser chess tournament.
Someone, however, has chosen to challenge cool John Riley! And he works for… The Weekly Standard! (No, it’s not Bill Kristol in this case, but Monday’s only three days away and we bet he has a column idea already!) This is Dean Barnett, taking up the important issue of Tiger Woods’ non-inclusion in some dumb McCain ad:
Some of the ad’s critics have noted that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton aren’t even such enormous celebrities. Tiger Woods and Brad Pitt, they rightly argue, are much bigger stars. But that analysis misses the point as far as Obama is concerned. Unlike Britney and Paris, Tiger Woods earned his fame. No one could accuse Tiger Woods of being a media sensation or being famous just for being famous.
Not man enough to take up the pressing issue of Brad Pitt though, are you, Barnett?
Here’s the thing: Tiger Woods plays golf! He is famous for playing GOLF. Whatever Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have done to become famous — Britney’s (once) killer dance moves didn’t come to her in her sleep, by the way, idiots — was certainly more difficult than playing a little outdoors game really well. Tiger Woods got famous for the exact same reason Barack Obama got famous: because he’s a multiracial (a.k.a. “black”), “charismatic” and talented as shit entry into a field previously populated by old white men, exclusively, since forever.
In conclusion: John McCain should never have made this ad, at all, with any celebrities, because what the fuck.