Obama Brings Partisanship To Space Monster Crisis

  th-that's not ch-change we can believe in


Ha ha, it’s time for the Stupid August Questions portion of the campaign. Because we all know UFOs are pretend and space aliens aren’t for realz and there’s no such thing as monsters and at least they’re not trying to kill our presidents, it’s a hoot to see Barack Obama make fun of this terrible threat to Earth. [Ben Smith/KGAN]

Related

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

53 comments

  1. Q2

    8-O Mecharegulators Of Rigel liten to me!

    “Skur gallar us jobillasan
    Ra skurhats zatsiska petman
    Zai deidutzipau
    Lotes gunlarbau
    Manhenlar ran op ji kifan”

  2. shortsshortsshorts

    BUT WHAT IF THEY THERE ALIENS WERE VOTING FOR HILLARY WHAT WOULD YOU DO THEN SENATOR WOULD YOU EMBRACE THEMM? NOES!

    NOOOBAMA TONY REZKO HAM SANDWICH.

  3. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=49909]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I always imagined that aliens were huge statists, which is why they were able to develop space flight in the first place.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Anal probing grey fuckers = Repub
    Vulcans = Dem
    Warlike deformed Klingons = Repub
    Romulans = Repub
    Cylons = Repub
    Xenomorph Aliens = Repub
    Gort = Demrat
    Borg = Paultards
    Vorlons = Demrat
    Shadows = Repub
    Centauri = Repub

    I guess I’m hoping that aliens are Vulcans only because their women look like Jolene Blaylock.

  5. spencer

    If Werther McWalnuts becomes president at least he will die from a heart attack when someone from the air force pops into his office and tells him, “we know about aliens, and no we aren’t talking about the ones in your kitchen.”

  6. SayItWithWookies

    All I know about aliens is that they’re Mac compatible, Tom Cruise can defeat them (thus they’re sissies) and Whitley Strieber is a big dead fruitball. These core values come from my gut.

  7. springfield_meltdown

    Obama is denying the proud Democrat tradition of of embracing alien life as established by Kucinich and Jimmy Carter. Now If you’ll excuse me I have to go make a tinfoil hat to protect against the government mind control rays that Kucinich is so concerned about.

  8. WadISay

    [re=49914]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The aliens in Independence Day destroyed the White House, used anal probes, and their electrical systems didn’t work. We can’t rule out that they were British.

  9. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49914]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …I was soooooooo resisting going down the sci-fi path, but since you opened the door!

    -Kardasian – Repub
    -Ferengi – Repub
    -Go’auld – Repub
    -Wraith – Repub
    -Any Alien Captain kirk slept with – Dem
    -Face Hugger – Repub
    -Super Man – Dem
    -Tribble – Obamatard
    -Alf – Paultard

  10. ManchuCandidate

    [re=49967]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    My inner SF geek needed to go down that road. Now I’m going to go give myself a wedgie.

    [re=49965]WadISay[/re]:
    But they were defeated because they didn’t understand the intertubes, virus scanning and email like Foley, Stevens, and McCain. British Repubs?

  11. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=49967]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: *Cardassian

    Right on, Tribbles are totally for Obama.

    [re=49914]ManchuCandidate[/re]:Don’t worry, Vulcans were the first to make first contact with humans, so that means we’re getting a Dem boost in the short term.

  12. obfuscator

    [re=49967]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

    C3P0 – total Log Cabin Republican

    Barry should have said, “I, for one, welcome our new extraterrestrial voting bloc”, then said something in Klingon.

  13. Norbert

    alien appeaser! Munich conference! we must resume drilling or the aliens have won.

    barry is cool. so is jolene blaylock (forgot about her!). i need a drink.

  14. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49965]WadISay[/re]: [re=49971]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …whatever species Admiral Ackbar is, Im pretty sure is Joe Lieberman’s species.

  15. Norbert

    [re=49980]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: no, Lieberman = ferengi. and/or Senator Palpatine. you know in your heart it is true.

  16. ManchuCandidate

    [re=49980]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    “You can’t repel douchebaggery of that magnitude!”

    Joe Lie is more like Jar Jar. Annoying. Stupid. Enabler of evil.

  17. AngryBlakGuy

    …Scorpius – John McCain

    And with that “Farscape” reference we have officially descended in sci-fi hell!

  18. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49988]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=49987]Norbert[/re]: …I always figured Emperor Palpatine was John McCain!? With the excessive skin folds, pale complexion and piss yellow teeth.

  19. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49989]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: …they are the terrorist that can attack you anywhere at anytime that “W” wants you to believe in! Duhhhhh!!!

  20. ManchuCandidate

    [re=49996]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    McCain selling his soul for power? Ole six penised Lando Mollari.

    (Unleashing his inner B5 fan geek flag.)

  21. KevoTron

    E.T. was definitely a member of the Green party. He was all about “healing the plants” and shit.

  22. WagTehGod

    [re=49989]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: “Your galaxy is impure and will be purged” … sounds Republican to me.

    Now I’m going to go drown myself

  23. MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    The sad thing is, some talking head on one of the “news” shows will run this clip and say that it is further proof that Obama is only concerned with partisan crap.

    Kang/Kodos ’08 “Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.”

  24. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=50007]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …when you have 6 penises you can NO LONGER call them penises, you call it an udder! That being said does that make Obama G’kar?

  25. CivicHoliday

    Betazed = far-left leaning Dem

    (would that make Deanna Troi equivalent to Elizabeth Kucinich?)

  26. AxmxZ

    Barry is just playing coy. He knows full well the aliens are the ones who engineered him in late 1960 and implanting him in an Earth woman. Then when he was around 21, they initiated a wake-up sequence and turned a run-of-the-mill rebellious smarty-pants into a super-focused ambitious entity with only one goal in mind: absolute power over the whole of mankind. Once this is achieved, the aliens can initiate through him the massive global operation code-named “Reeducating the Apes.” If al goes according to plan, by the end of Barry’s second term, the average human mind will contain 30% to 35% less FAIL.

  27. iwillsavethispatient

    [re=50141]AxmxZ[/re]: Surely, it was ‘God’ ‘Himself’ who implanted Bazza in an Earth woman? Although, I suppose an Alien with sufficient technology would be pretty God-like to our FAIL-addled minds.

  28. populucious

    Keanu Reeves is not amused. Keanu Reeves demands to be set free. Keanu Reeves will not be voting for Barack Obama now.

Comments are closed.