Wonkette
Here is some proof that America’s lobbyists remain some of the world’s sturdiest boozers: employees of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce recently ran up an $8,204 bar tab in a single wild evening celebrating the end of their softball tournament at The Exchange. And then they acted like a bunch of cheap whining assholes, complaining that the bill included an 18 percent tip. So what were these drunk idiots ordering, Nebuchadnezzars of champagne from Thomas Jefferson’s secret stash? Alas no, because Ted Kennedy already drank it all.
Nope, the bar tab included 155 pitchers of beer, 37 bottles of beer, 208 mixed drinks, 111 shots, 43 margaritas and 11 open bottles of liquor — basically what your brave Wonketteers consumed in an hour during our recent Paultarpalooza.
People at the Chamber’s party also reported attendees ordering a gazillion pitchers of vodka and Red Bull, which is just gross.
Chamber COO David Chavern sent out an email telling everybody how sad and mad he was that they spent so much money, but they were all too hung over to read it.
How much booze will $8,204 buy? The Chamber finds out the hard way [The Crypt]
I guess now we know exactly how much liquor you have to consume to make members of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce attractive.
Pitchers of Red Bull and vodka?
I call it insanity juice. You drink enough of that shit and the next thing you know, you’re carrying your date over your shoulder caveman style for a couple of blocks and can not remember how you ended up spanking your friend’s girlfriend (with him giving you the evil eye.) Um, not that it’s happened to me or anything.
What, NO JAGER BOMBS?!?!?
“155 pitchers of beer, 37 bottles of beer”
Oh, yeah. There are always 2-3 guys who refuse to drink draft beer and try to give speeches on how some obscure brand or other is the only thing a real connoisseur of beer would let pass his* lips.
* Yes, these horse’s arses tend to be male.
That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
I’m forwarding this to some Wall Streeters. Game On Bitches!
Life used to suck, but now it really sucks; Drink up!
THE BILDERBERG CLUB…..THE TRILATERAL COMMISSION… INTERNATIONAL CHAMBER OF COMMERCE… UNITED FUCKING NATIONS,…NAU…CIA…IRS…PRC…OMFG…
“They struck me,” you will say, “but I was not hurt;
they beat me, but I did not feel it.
When shall I awake?
I must have another drink.”
—Proverbs 23:29-35
…full bottles that they drunkenly left behind at the end of the night.
EPIC FAIL
And no Wonkettinis? There is no commenter named genericuserid now is there?
Why the hell is the Chamber COO bitchin’ about people spending money on booze?
Liquor is the lubricant which makes the economy go ’round.
Everyone knows drunks will spend money on crap that no sober person would buy which explains the gazillion pitchers of Red Bull and vodka. Only a drunk would think mixing Red Bull and vodka is a good idea.
i really don’t get what the complaining is about. isn’t excessive government spending supposed to stimulate the economy? or were these elites just drinking foreign brands like bud lite?
Terry: Horse’s ass elitists..
Wait- I am not so great at math but isn’t that $7000 (minus tip) or $70 a person?
1.5 pitcher beer
2 mixed drinks
1 shot
½ margartita
1/10 bottle of booze
Per person?
Big fucking deal.
Pfft. Lightweights. Back in J.P. Morgan’s day, that kind of bar tab was called Wednesday lunch.
Cheaping out on the tip is the only bothersome fact here. I’m glad to hear they were mixing weird potions together - that’s very entrepreneurial.
A touch much, but a celebration none the less. What do you want a bet that they sent a drink or two to some attractive stranger…
trophy(forparticipation)wife: in Manhattan the bill would be $35,000
Lazy Media: No shit! And this doesn’t even include cash for blow and whores.
“Fundamentally, this shows a lack of responsibility on a number of people’s part including Chamber personnel and management at The Exchange,” Chavern wrote in an e-mail to more 50 employees.
Waah waah waah, the bar treated us like a bunch of drunken louts because we were soooo drunk they were afraid we’d forget to tip. Also, we’re cheap bastards even though we’re filthy rich and spent fifty million dollars last year on fuckin’ lobbying. Jesus, ya bunch of whiners, if that’s how you’re gonna be, then stop drinking. There’ll be more of it for those of us who are civilized.
How fine was John Belushi in that seven-deadly-sins-rolled-into-one-man kind of way?
CrunchyKnee: Exactly. This explains my purchase of the Spin Spa.
If Ken Layne would just remember to turn in the flippin’ paperwork at the U.S. Senate already, Wonkette could be a registered federal lobbyist and charge its bar tabs to all of its clients, too. Nice work, old beardy.
schvitzatura:
‘Epic fail’? Damn straight. What, you couldn’t cap those bottles and smuggle them out with your glove and protective cup? C’mon!!
Because… “The party was to celebrate the end of the “Chamber Bowl,” the association’s internal softball tournament.”
Which means, of course, that they weren’t even lubing up ‘clients’ or whatever. It also explains the Red Bull, because they were, y’know, tired from the extreme physical demands of softball. But damn it, if I hit .410 in a tourney, I’m going to tear it up, mofo!
And attaching the bill to the memo - bad idea. Every drunk has war stories and wants MORE war stories, and now they have proof. I’d blow that thing up and frame it!
trophy(forparticipation)wife: You are correct, ma’am. It took 100 people to consume that much booze. I would propose to you just because of your math skills, but you’re obviously already married.
I think we spend $8K in Iraq every three seconds or so. $2 billion a week, anyway.
TGY:
“I think we spend $8K in Iraq every three seconds or so. $2 billion a week, anyway.”
ON BOOZE!?
TGY: The administration has got its priorities all wrong. If they just siphoned off some of that money to the american people’s booze fund and kept the nation perpetually tipsy, not only would we keep them in office but they would have the greatest legacy of all time.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: That’s the problem with the Republican party. They’ll spend zillions of dollars but only if it kills somebody. Nobody in particular, of course, just anybody.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: We could flood Iraq with booze. We’ll see about your Muslim prohibitions now! MOO HA HA.
These idiots are really cheap, because the 18% is what the restaurant automatically adds for “parties over X”. So they didn’t even add their own tip to at least bump it to 20%. On the other hand, given the amount of alcohol involved, calculating 20% and then the difference between that and 18% would probably be the equivalent of Calculus to these bozos.
soytrucknutz: what do we lobby for? TruckNutz for all? Open hunting season on Paultards and their offspring?
Terry: Hey! I’m a girl! And I’d drink draft beer if they’d carry anything decent on tap. Light beer is for pussies.
TGY: Kills somebody or otherwise harms/incarcerates somebody. They are big on the bucks/hurt ratio or possibly the hurt/bucks, whichevs. Megahurt per gigabuck.
But how many people got laid? The pitchers per hook-up stat is the most important measure of a party’s success.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Yeah. We wonketteers cal that Thursday Night!
They’re bitching about paying the tip - a tip that a hard working American bitter waitron NEEDS so s/he can buy cherry kool aid to put in her/his Pabst, yet they fax (yes, fax not email) stuff up to the Hill every-fucking-day about how America’s bitters don’t need higher wages, or better benefits, or something crazy called healthcare, because the “markets work.” Rich elitist repug bastards.
Pop Socket: All the dudez were laid! And so were the other dudez! The womenz? Nothing for them.
Doglessliberal: Wonkette can lobby for whatever the client wants Wonkette to lobby for.
OK, seriously, you DC types are fucking amateurs. There was once this MS Intel dinner party where the Intel rep got a bonus on how high he could get the bill. After racking up about 30k of debt I think the 18 guys involved were too drunk to continue, and the intel rep got a nice commission. Shit, during the late 90’s there were people that would blow 5k signing bonuses at the bar, and this being a goth bar, that means a fuckton of cheap booze.
…being that I am still buzzed from a late excursion to a south beach bar, I feel a certain responsibility to comment on this thread.
-”pitchers of Vodka & Red Bull”, proof that Vodka makes anything better(including ugly women)
-”37 bottles of beer”, proof that some men sit down while they pee
-”$8,204 bar tab”; if this wasnt a titty bar someone should be indicted!
bago: So you’re saying that Wall Street got drunk?
Billy Kristol musta got hammered!
Terry: What do you suppose Freud would have to say about stuff that passes their lips?
KevoTron: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes a beer is just a huge veiny purple dick.
Lucky for the Chamber that their staffers weren’t at an establishment that offered Eurotrash bottle service…
Really, no more Chamber bar tabs. The idiots who did this should be reprimanded–and given a stern, very real lecture about, oh, PUBLIC RELATIONS. The Chamber should apologize to its members–struggling businesses who pay the Chambers’ bills, for God’s sake–and the Chamber should apologize to the bar. The Chamber staffers should, themselves, apologize for their juvenile stupidity to Chamber officials, Chamber members, and to the bar. And the Chamber members who acted like such idiots should be barred from that bar by their bosses. Yes, barred from that bar by their bosses. The Chamber represents businesses in D.C., and that is no way for Chamber employees to act. It’s bad business, bad p.r., and bad behavior. Yes, people drink and get drunk–we all do, and quite frequently, too! But there’s a time and a place and a way to do it right–and this violated all of that, as well as common sense.