Wonkette
Here’s some weird news about the already-weird John Edwards baby-mama alleged scandal: The “love child” in question has no daddy listed on the birth certificate! And we can’t even dismiss this latest tiny bit of scandal as “tabloid trash” because it comes from Edwards’ hometown mainstream media, McClatchy Newspapers’ News & Observer.
Rielle Hunter is the gal who met Edwards in a New York bar and then earned $114,000 from his PAC making “webisodes” which all mysteriously vanished from his website when she quit working for him because she wound up pregnant and then his loyal North Carolina aide (who is married with kids) gallantly claimed he was the father and then installed Ms. Hunter (real name: “Rielle Jaya James Druck” or just “Lisa Druck”) in lodgings adjoining his own home in a gated North Carolina neighborhood.
Edwards is acting so guilty — hiding in hotel bathrooms, escaping through the service entrance after a speech in Washington — that even the Liberal Media is slowly being forced to find out what’s going on with Mr. Public Displays of Affection who used to always be kissin’ on his saintly wife with cancer, Elizabeth Edwards.
Here’s a scan of the birth certificate. (PDF)
And here’s what the paper has to say about the baby girl with no known daddy:
The girl was born at Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara, Calif., to Rielle Jaya James Druck, also known as Rielle Hunter. Hunter, 44, was a videographer on Edwards’ presidential campaign last year.
Asked Thursday why no father was listed on the birth certificate, Hunter’s attorney, Robert Gordon of New York, said, “A lot of women do that.” Reminded that he and Hunter had publicly revealed the father’s identity two months earlier to the National Enquirer, Gordon said, “That’s a personal matter between them.”
Gordon declined to comment further.
Anybody want a 30-minute prime-time spot at the Democratic Convention, probably on Tuesday night? We hear there’s an opening.
Also, anybody want to be Poverty Czar for President Obama? Get your resumes in before the rush next week, when the New York Times is finally forced to do a story. Let’s hope it’s a bit better sourced than that “John McCain screws his lobbyist young-Cindy lookalike on corporate jets,” because that story was totally true and look how it still somehow got discredited!
Birth record for child lists no father [News & Observer]
Oh for the love of God, enough about the irrelevant putative Edwards love child.
Can’t we talk about those Beltway rumors about John and Cindy’s infidelities? He’s actually running for president. Allegedly.
I blame the Clinton camp. I can imagine those passive aggressive waffles cooking up this scheme. “But where are we going to find a mother who has a mysterious, fatherless baby?” And all eyes shift over to Bill, who happens to know a few ladies who might be willing to play along…
Edwards FINALLY released a statement saying: “Rielle Hunter is not my lover, she’s just a girl who thinks that I am the ONE, but the kid is not my son.”
Will they ever learn this in politics?
The cover-up is always worse than the crime!
Always!
Just be a man & own up to to the kid Johnny!
Grover Cleveland did so 120 years ago & survived politically.
The Republicans of the day sang:
“Ma, ma, where’s my pa?
Gone to the White House, Ha, ha, ha!”
Didn’t work then & if you also publically apologize to your wife, it won’t work now!
Time of the Two Americas
What’s your name?
(What’s your name?)
Who’s your daddy?
(Who’s your daddy? He rich?)
Is he rich like me?
Has he taken
(Has he taken)
Any time
(Any time to show)
To show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly
Tell you what?
I really want to know
It’s the time of the season for love childs
It’s a tough story. I’m sure it’s all kinds of tough on a marriage when one of the people in it gets cancer, but being forced to admit you cheated on your dying-of-cancer wife and knocked some other chick up is seriously probably the absolute worst thing you can do to your political career.
On a purely biological matter, Johnnie E. must have some powerful swimmers. It’s very hard for a 43 or 44 year old woman to get pregnant (old eggs, stretched out uterus & whatnot) & have a full-term baby. Ask any of the HRC bitters (whom are mostly that age or older)–it’s unlikely many of them have new babies.
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: You did see the subhed, right?
What’s the deal with his aid? “No, I am Spartacus!!”
I would think his wife isn’t all that happy to have this chicky next door, whether it’s true or not. Must be a Southern thing…
wrot on len kayne, wrot on
The Dems aren’t too worried about this. There are still three and a half weeks until the National Convention and statistics indicate that between now and then a least one major Republican will be caught sodomizing a handicapped cub scout with a crack pipe, thus defecting national attention long enough for Edwards to give his speech.
You’re all thinking about this in the wrong way. THIS KID HAS NO FATHER, PEOPLE! IMMACULATE CONCEPTION! Frances Quinn Hunter is the Second Coming! John Edwards is a deadbeat Joseph Baby Daddy!
RAPTUROUS FISTBUMP.
Look, his old lady has some kind of cancer that keeps her from fucking, so Johnny got some on the side. Now can’t we leave these poor white trash millworkers alone?
“…if the child doesn’t have a father then it is obvious that Barack Obama is the Baby Daddy. He is a black man after all!”
-Next McCain television AD
I would say the child is Jesus…but Obama already has the gig.
Dave J.: Scarab: Umm, no. I think getting caught trying to blow a cop in an airport bathroom when you’re supposed to be Mr. Morals the Family Man is worse.
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: Yes the cover-up is worse than the crime. It’s just that they always be cover’n-up. The cover-up is a regular duty. They do five or ten a day. Every so often one goes feral and wreaks havoc. If everyone started owning up to indiscretions no one would ever get any real work done.
John Edwards is very purty. I’d happily be his baby mama.
AngryBlakGuy: It’s no way Obama’s baby. His sperm are way too arrogant to affix themselves to some backwoods videographer.
Afterwards, he’d lay back, secure in his skills as a lover, while I’d be still trembling from his lascivious assault, thinking………
Darehead: The weirdest angle of the whole Grover Cleveland illegitimate kid scandal is that the child in question was almost certainly not Cleveland’s. At the time, Grover Cleveland was the only bachelor partner is the law firm, and the babymomma had apparently been carrying on with several of the married partners. There’s a good deal of evidence through letters and such that the real father was Oscar Folsom, who was married, and that Cleveland stepped up and claimed paternity to avoid scandal. This in a weird way parallels the whole thing with Edwards and his aide.
Making the whole thing even creepier: after Folsom died, his will made Cleveland the executor of his estate, in which capacity he helped guide the education of his daughter, Frances, who was still underage; when she was 21, Cleveland, who was by then President, married her in the White House, making her America’s youngest and hottest first ladies.
DAMN, I’M PREGNANT!
Josh Fruhlinger: that reminds me. I need to get my eyebrows waxed.
lilblackcorvette: Not so purdy. :Look what he pulls.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Look, give him a break. His line has to be ” My wife doesn’t understand me what with all that cancer and all” What kinda fish can he catch with that. That’s automatic sympathy booty.
Josh Fruhlinger: I can only imagine that, back in the day, gentlemen of a sensual temperament horded copies of her image, in order to commit the sin of Onan with it.
lilblackcorvette: Fair point.
Now imagine Edwards won the primaries.
Yeah.
lilblackcorvette: I’m sorry. My dirty mind is running with this. So I’m inna bar,it’s like almost closing time.Had a “too few” many. This beautiful, charming,rich , edumacated slightly familiar head of hair walks in. Offers to buy me a wonkitini before closing……
I wake up the next day, he’s in the locked bathroom, there are cameras outside, I’m all like WTF!
DAMN! I”M PREGNANT!
Darehead: WIN!
That song has an Organ solo!
Josh Fruhlinger: She looks a little like a young Golda Meir.
John Edwards gave me coke in the back of a limo, and then I gave him head.
wheelie8:09PMJul 29th 2008
tipical libral
switch atention over too ewdards too hide the mislum that is ploting the nex 9/11
u will wrot in hell len kayne
OK, WHICH OF YOU ASSHOLETTES WROTE THIS IN REPLY TO KEN’S COLUMN.
‘FESS UP…WAS IT YOU SHORTSSHORTSSHORTS? AngryBlakGuy:
Scarab: Unindicted Co-Conspirator:
TSUNAMI….WHO WAS IT?
If a man can cheat on his crippled wife and still become a presidential nominee, cheating on a wife with cancer shouldn’t be the end of Edward’s career.
tsunami: That was wheelie, our Irish correspondent, who is awesome.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Or the beginning of a lucrative business taking over businesses with negative ratings! 3 Whore Diamonds for Spitzer for pulling that shit off.
I want Cougar McCain to have a “mulatto” baby with a humongous cock, requiring a Caesarian - and of course, loads of narcotic relief.
shortsshortsshorts:
OK…awesome indead…i wish it were me hoo rote it.
we have an irish corospondent? is he evur sober? i dout it.
5 beers and a potatoe…ha ha
If the baby has no father, is there a high concentration of midi-chlorians present? I understand that could explain everything.
Is that the best you can come up with???
That’s racist. Also, did Elizabeth Edwards get cancer from Barack Obama blowing second hand Black n Mild smoke in her face?
Josh Fruhlinger: See, you’re using that fancy History degree after all! (Stop sending me invoices.)
wait. MkKain can screw? really? damn! pharmaceuticals are crazee
Josh Fruhlinger: Funny enough I accidentally wiped my ass today with my Poli Sci degree.
Whoops.
Josh Fruhlinger: Welllll, I enjoyed the lecture, even though I tink you meant it for the dude before me. But Grover sounds more like Woody Allen than the 2 Americas guy.
shortsshortsshorts: I have an advanced degree in Human Services .Makes a very absorbent sanitary device. Non-profits truly are eponymous.
The chile duz have a father–why he’s the son of a son of a millworker.
And I, uh, thought, it was the other Andrew Young….
lilblackcorvette: For the win.
Ken Layne: Whore Diamonds??? For me??
Oh my! Thank you so much!
Hey, did anyone else see that post in “rants and raves” on dc craigslist a few years ago where someone raved about the time he rimmed Edwards at a local bathhouse? Is that legit? What say you?
When Johnny Boy was raking it in at the offshore hedge fund, he claimed he was researching poverty.
When he finally gives a press conference on this, my bet is that he’ll say he was just doing research on breast cancer and things got a little out of hand.
So did they get the actual birth certificate, or just a printout from the hawaii government 46 years after the fact?
Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.
Gormogon: This just made me think the child was 44 years old.
Texan Bulldoggette:
For a 44/45 year-old woman to concieve, there needs to be LOTS OF SEX going on, & FREQUENT.
Aka, they must’ve done it 50 times or more, over many months.
Seriously.
As any infertility doctor will tell you, an older women’s eggs are 1/2 as fertile as a 20-somethings’.
i always liked elizabeth… but who didn’t see this coming? apparently cancer (whatever, sheesh), unlike bulimia, is not good for one’s figure. i dunno. hair falls out, your tits sag a bit and ya get tired. whatevs. all i’m sayin is that if my ’sure thing’ tried to pull that kinda shit she (haha!–HE) might also find himself replaced with a young, fertile 40-something leftover gopher from my campaign.
seriously though: love liz. still think john isn’t THE worst.
lilblackcorvette: As you are now Knighted, could you please attack the enemaz on this ‘ere internez with blogz?
YOU ARE KING TODAY, and with luck you shall reaaigign tomorrows!
Ken Layne: T’anks.
shortsshortsshorts: Queen , you sexist pig. LOL???
We are the sons of no one, bastards of young
worstprezever: there has to be lots of sex going on….. And how much field research did you do before you reached this conclusion?
I am too busy to be interested in a sex scandal involving a couple of middle aged, white, blah blah blah. I will bookmark it for now and will return to it once it’s been sorted out. Hopefully the scandal will be more scandal-y by then.
Dave J.:
Funny how screwing around on your wife is worse than starting a war under false pretenses and all. Just sayin’.
Josh Fruhlinger:
My head hurts from all this. Cleveland married the real half sister of the girl he claimed as his own illegitimate daughter?
Damn, can you imagine Thanksgiving at their house?
Ken Layne: I just use my history degree to create inscrutable avatars.
junkscience: BaltimoreExaminer.com see Sheila Dixon— Middle-Aged, BLACK, Mayor, oh, and SLUT
Squiggyfm: Why, that’s an immaculate conception!
Anyway, it doesn’t matter as long as the mother is known. :p
Frances Folsom — Yumm! Way hotter than Hilsbot. Cleveland would’ve had no reason to go after interns.
McCain dumps the first wife after the accident.
Edwards philanders after the wife gets cancer.
If it weren’t for the Constitution and the business with Heather Mills, Paul McCartney would be out most qualified person for President.
onehotdisaster: Easy there. Bulimia can make your hair fall out too, and it DESTROYS your teeth. Not exactly the most attractive thing…
And I’m 99% sure his wife has breast cancer, so her boobs aren’t a little saggy, they’re GONE.
Love child, never meant to be
Love child, (scorned by) society
Love child, always second best
Love child, different from the rest
Can’t wait for Obama’s love child to come out of no where.