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WTF?

RACE SHOCKER: McCain Accuses Obama of Shamefully Being Colored

There is SHOCKING news from the campaign trail today as the John McCain Presidency has angrily lashed out at Barack Obama for being black. “My opponent is half-colored,” McCain said today from one of his mansions, “And worse, he claims the coloreds have not been president before. This is shameful, shame on this uppity colored and his race-baiting. Go back to Africa, Osama Spears.” UPDATE: You’re all pussies. We’ve replaced the picture (which showed a lynching, which was a legal activity in the American South when John McCain was a young man) with a small mirror. [ALL POLITICAL SITES ON EARTH]


1:51 PM on Thu July 31 2008
By Ken Layne
4563 Views

  1. NoWireHangers says at 1:55 pm, July 31st, 2008

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  2. Serolf Divad says at 1:56 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Obama is guilty of many notorious crimes, but being colored is not one of them.

  3. Doglessliberal says at 1:57 pm, July 31st, 2008

    I just saw this headline of Post.com and laughed out loud. I guess Hopey needs to learn to bowl and start going around in whiteface.

  4. irisheyes says at 1:58 pm, July 31st, 2008

    So, McCain raises (or doesn’t raise ) that gimpy arm of his a thousand times a photo op just to point out that he’s “special” ’cause he did POW time. How is drawing attention to that physical difference any different than Obama noting what everyone else can see? That he looks physically different. I gotta say Wonketteers, I’m getting mighty worn out from this crap and it’s barely August. What happened to that “campaign of issues” I heard so much about? Sigh.

  5. Serolf Divad says at 1:58 pm, July 31st, 2008

    “Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck,” McCain campaign manager Rick Davis said in a statement.

    Let me guess: “Obama had an ace up his sleeves… and it was the ace of spades.”

  6. sarcasticusername says at 2:01 pm, July 31st, 2008

    how dare barry not even come close to hinting that a man who kinda hates MLK and black people more generally, might be racist! consider walnuts’ token faux outrage duly noted.

  7. SayItWithWookies says at 2:01 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Serolf Divad: I guess he’s also playing the Antichrist card — that must be what he means when he says voting for him is “risky.”

  8. catsquatch says at 2:01 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Mr T-shirt Tucker makes Stay-Puft look like the notorious Puff Daddy. This scurrilous attack by the McCain camp must be rebutted.

  9. 4tehlulz says at 2:01 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Shorter McCain Campaign: How dare that uppity nigger get all racial on us?

  10. freakishlystrong says at 2:02 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Umm.where have we heard this before? And it worked so well last time.

  11. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:02 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Although I understand and appreciate the historical importance of the photo in American History, I have a very personal aversion to seeing it in casual company such as it is.

    My father at 15 had to flee South Caroling in the late 20’s or so in order to escape the lynch mob that was coming for him for defending a smaller black child who was being bullied. It reminds me of how close he was to getting caught and how so very easily I would not have been here.

  12. catsquatch says at 2:03 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Notorious Puff Daddy? Damn phone call. I knew I couldn’t think and type at the same time…or is this independent evidence of my incredible whiteness?

  13. freakishlystrong says at 2:03 pm, July 31st, 2008

    NoWireHangers: I did the same thing..recoiled..

  14. “Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck,” McCain campaign manager Rick Davis said in a statement.”

    Translation:

    Damn. McCain got nowhere talking about issues. Cozying up to Bush turned out not to be such a great idea. What’s left? Ooooh, let’s see if there’s anyone out can be scared by a black man who probably looked a lot like Urkle in high school.

  15. Bandito says at 2:06 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Serolf Divad: I thought he was the king of spades.

  16. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:06 pm, July 31st, 2008

    There are two dead bodies that were viciously murdered and callously displayed in the same place where I would see Bush eating a kitten.

  17. gulcer says at 2:07 pm, July 31st, 2008

    freakishlystrong:

    Agree. Too much. It’s not meta-awful, just awful.

  18. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 2:08 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Jesus ever-lovin’ Christ, Ken! I’m with NoWireHangers and freakishlystrong. Last time I log on while I eat dinner…

  19. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:09 pm, July 31st, 2008

    freakishlystrong: NoWireHangers: …yeah, that photo is a bit much. Is there anyway we turn the volume down from 10 to lets say maybe 7?

  20. Manchowder says at 2:09 pm, July 31st, 2008

    So can McCain’s staffers post on Wonkette now? His mastery of the snark side grows with every passing day.

  21. Darehead says at 2:10 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Serolf Divad: Two Black Aces and Two Black Eights, the last hand of Wild Bill before he got shot by the “Coward Jack McCain”

    Now, are the little kids across America asking their parents how to play race cards?

    I ‘xpect anytime now this thread will expire while Ken changes the photo…

  22. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:11 pm, July 31st, 2008

  23. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:11 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Oh please there are like a billion offensive photos on this ‘ere site and now there is mutiny?

  24. Cicada says at 2:12 pm, July 31st, 2008

    NoWireHangers: The Real JR Revisted: freakishlystrong:
    I agree. Can you change it, Ken? Pretteh puhleez?

  25. 2goats says at 2:13 pm, July 31st, 2008

    “Obama was inside the Czech and Slovak Museum in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, talking to flood victims when the McCain campaign statement came out.” http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/07/31/mccain_camp_obama_has_played_t.html?hpid=topnews Now the dirty bastard is making a snide elitist attack on Walnutz age and inability to remember Czech and Slovaki are not one country anymore since a while ago

  26. walnuts4brkfst says at 2:13 pm, July 31st, 2008

    According to the McCain campaign playing the ‘race card’ now means acknowledging that there are still racists and they might not like black people. For Shame Obama!

    “Nobody thinks that Bush and McCain have a real answer to the challenges we face. So what they’re going to try to do is make you scared of me,” Obama said. “You know, `he’s not patriotic enough, he’s got a funny name,’ you know, `he doesn’t look like all those other presidents on the dollar bills.’”

  27. twowheeljunkie says at 2:13 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Obama was played the race card the day he was born. He’s half black/half white but he will always be a Black man in the USA.

  28. Spence says at 2:15 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Jesus Christ, this country has a hard time electing white guys whose names end in vowels(see how many you can name) so yeah, it’s pretty damn obvious that Obama is a stretch, and the Republicans are gonna try and prevent that stretch from happening.

  29. KevoTron says at 2:16 pm, July 31st, 2008

    NoWireHangers: Yes, I agree. That image is haunting and unfortunate. I’d prefer an image that pertains to Anal-oofing or something pleasant. Thanks Ken.

  30. Aurelio says at 2:16 pm, July 31st, 2008

    WALNUTS needs a Vice-Presidential candidate to do this attack dog shit for him. That is the traditional role of the VeePee wannabe. He should hurry up and pick someone–Bela Lugosi would be a good choice, if he could be raised from the dead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq7xyjU-jsU

  31. tunamelt says at 2:17 pm, July 31st, 2008
  32. tsunami says at 2:18 pm, July 31st, 2008

    yes…it’s always difficult to weigh the disgusting shock factor
    against the it’s real, it happened, and if you haven’t seen it before
    take a look at what some people have in their past history that they
    have to deal with because that sort of thing is a part of their racial
    makeup, and if you see it, maybe you’ll understand some things
    a little more clearly factor.

    censor nothing often works out because when you start to draw the line…

  33. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:18 pm, July 31st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: There’s a couple of photos of brutal rapes out there. Wouldn’t that be offensive and wholly insane to post them up next to an article about sexism?

  34. Anita Cocktail says at 2:19 pm, July 31st, 2008

    freakishlystrong: Yeah, can’t we just show a photo of sweet lil Rosa Parks?

  35. The Neoskeptic says at 2:23 pm, July 31st, 2008

    from the NYDN:
    “Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck,”

    Great metaphor mixing, senior McCain adviser.

  36. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:23 pm, July 31st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: …true, I find that photo WALNUTS! and “W” heavy petting gag inducing. But this is a little different considering this is a photo of 2 dead bodies dangling from a tree below a snark inducing headline. Considering many of my comments on this site this may be considered the pot calling the kettle black(pardon the pun).

  37. NoWireHangers says at 2:23 pm, July 31st, 2008

    MR. LAYNE, TAKE DOWN THIS PICTURE.

  38. Darehead says at 2:24 pm, July 31st, 2008

    How bout a picture of a coloring book?

  39. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:25 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Over a half hour… unbelievable.

  40. lilblackcorvette says at 2:25 pm, July 31st, 2008

    you know what? I leave working thinking these people are going to start saying Obama is the AntiChrist. I thought I was going to hear this crap all day. But NOOOOOO. I hit the remote and I see “Obama plays the Race Card”. All I could think WHAT THA FUCKK!!!! I thought they were going to wait before they just came out and said “he’s Black”. And you know what I think about that photo? People need to see it because recent memory seems to be fading. Perhaps a picture of Adillo being shot in his door way , or the groom that was shot 50 times , or the man who dragged behind a truck in Texas. Pleeezze somebody start talking about off shore drilling. I am viscerally opposed to it because of the oil spills, that and it won’t noticeably affect gas prices oh, and I think the earth will crack at some point. Look, I come here for my talking points. I am so done with a “kinky so and so is runnig for emperor!” Focus, People. Focus! Dammit

  41. Sussemilch says at 2:25 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Aurelio: He needs a tough VP that makes him look young and healthy. Bob Dole?

  42. Larry McAwful says at 2:25 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Of course, McCain is playing the age card right and left. He’s olding everywhere he goes as much as Obama is blacking everywhere he goes. Maybe if McCain would quit being so old, Obama would quit being so black. How ’bout that deal, Johnny?

  43. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 2:25 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Yowtch! It’s got to have at least a tiny thread of funny. Can’t find ant humor in that image.

  44. Cicada says at 2:25 pm, July 31st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Maybe we can show this picture the next time we joke about WALNUTS! calling Cindy a cunt:
    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/56/144744126_477eb8b9c6.jpg

    Hilarity ensues.

  45. m_supercomputer says at 2:27 pm, July 31st, 2008

    What’s the over-under on when McCain starts actually using n-bombs? Before the last few weeks’ hilariously pathetic campaign efforts I would’ve said October, but now I’m kinda thinking between the conventions.

  46. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:27 pm, July 31st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: If the Angry Black Man does not accept it, then I denounce and reject it.
    Will Childers say anything?

    The Real JR Revisted: No. That would be bad. I concede.

  47. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:28 pm, July 31st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: My fucking day is ruined now.

  48. kimbaroni says at 2:28 pm, July 31st, 2008

    That image is horrible. That is all.

  49. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 2:28 pm, July 31st, 2008

    walnuts4brkfst: The Obama campaign is now saying the quote had nothing to do with race:

    “Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs said the senator was not referring to race.

    “What Barack Obama was talking about was that he didn’t get here after spending decades in Washington,” Gibbs said Thursday. “There is nothing more to this than the fact that he was describing that he was new to the political scene. He was referring to the fact that he didn’t come into the race with the history of others. It is not about race.”"

  50. Doglessliberal says at 2:28 pm, July 31st, 2008

    The whole thing is just surreal, given the constant underlying racism in the attacks on Obama for his lack of experience blah blah. Yes, he has less traditional experience, but the crap that gets hauled out gaainst him all has that pat-on-the-head nice-little-Negro-know-your-place-and-stay-there feel to it.

    2goats: And next, that Antichrist will go to an applesauce factory! http://wonkette.com/401443/john-mccain-bombs-grocery-store

  51. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:29 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Pussies?

    Ken? Fuck you.

  52. freakishlystrong says at 2:30 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Anita Cocktail: Or the one of Hopey smoking..that one always works

  53. freakishlystrong says at 2:31 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Ken, MUCH better! Good job on the mirror!

  54. Chuckie Jesus says at 2:32 pm, July 31st, 2008

    In defense of pussy: PUSSY IS AWESOME. Pass it on.
    (and thanks)

  55. Darehead says at 2:32 pm, July 31st, 2008

    I liked this one:
    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/5157NVTZ41L._SL500_AA240_.jpg

    But thanks for the mirror. I think I’ll try to reapply my mascara now.

  56. lilblackcorvette says at 2:32 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Ok great. Now we’ve got the scared white woman image. WTG.

  57. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:32 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Anita Cocktail: The Real JR Revisted: tsunami: freakishlystrong: Cicada: NoWireHangers: …other suggestions for photos:

    -A picture of a functioning Auschwitz gas chamber/oven when talking about Joe Lieberman

    -A picture of POW with his testicles in a vice grips when referring to WALNUTS! service.

    -A picture of a female victim of an acid attack when talking about sexism.

  58. Serolf Divad says at 2:33 pm, July 31st, 2008

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  59. Cicada says at 2:34 pm, July 31st, 2008

    I’m totally a pussy, and proud. Abso-fucking-lutely!
    Thanks for changing the pic, Ken.

  60. lilblackcorvette says at 2:34 pm, July 31st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: hmmmm… the oft-mocked “LIBRUL GUILT” kicking in…..

  61. Larry McAwful says at 2:35 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Spence: Jesus Christ, this country has a hard time electing white guys whose names end in vowels

    In real life, my name ends in a vowel. The same vowel that Senator Obama’s name ends in, in fact (guess which one.) I can appreciate what you’re saying here. As to presidents, it doesn’t happen that often. Only Monroe and Kennedy come to mind. Monroe is a recognizably English name, while Kennedy is about the most ethnic a name that can be tolerated in Archie Bunker’s house. My Polish last name would have as much trouble as Obama’s Kenyan name does.

    But on top of the vowel thing, Obama’s black, which I am not, and he’s pulling it off, or (lest I speak too soon) he could well pull it off. It’s just depressing to see that race is being dragged into this campaign at all. It would be bad enough if Obama tried to bludgeon McCain with it (which he’s never done to any of his opponents, quite unlike Senator Clinton did with her gender.) But the fact that McCain is trying to use it as a bludgeon is simply depressing.

  62. Doglessliberal says at 2:36 pm, July 31st, 2008

    The Real JR Revisted: wait what? Where is the pussies reference?

  63. jagorev says at 2:37 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Oh Jesus, why is everyone remotely involved in our press or government such a whining pussy? No wonder the terrorists want us to die.

  64. Doglessliberal says at 2:37 pm, July 31st, 2008
  65. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:38 pm, July 31st, 2008

    You know, I was previously reacting to what I thought was a poor and perhaps overly spontaneous photo choice to a snarky post.

    But now I’m actually more offended that you would think that people who objected to depictions of a brutal crime complete with dead bodies are pussies. There’s fun and then there’s dark maliciousness.

    Where’s the fucking transcendence there?!

  66. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:39 pm, July 31st, 2008

    …Ken, I must object to this photo as well! Why couldn’t it have been a BLACK screaming child? If you need one I have no problem making my niece cry and then taking a photo!

  67. Sweet holy jesus that photo of the toddler crying is disturbing! Don’t you have any lynch mob clip art?

  68. Darehead says at 2:41 pm, July 31st, 2008

    My friends. Let’s all go upstairs now and listen to Larry King’s war stories from the trenches.

  69. lilblackcorvette says at 2:43 pm, July 31st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Just repost the New Yorker cover and be done with it.

  70. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:44 pm, July 31st, 2008

    The Real JR Revisted: JEEBUS you were right get over it now!

    AngryBlakGuy: I am even more offended by the new photo.

  71. KevoTron says at 2:44 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Ahhh. Much better! Kiddie porn! KevoTron like.

  72. Doglessliberal says at 2:44 pm, July 31st, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: how about the little racial transendence guy?

  73. Cicada says at 2:46 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Canmon (the Inadequate): Yup. Because even acknowledging the fucking elephant in the room gives the GOP license to hammer even more on the race drum.

    Thank GAWD Clinton isn’t the nominee. Her campaign wasn’t reticent at all about mentioning sexism explicitly. WALNUTS! would have had a field day.

    The trick Obama has to pull off is the one any minority candidate has to do: pretend like race/gender/sexual orientation isn’t an issue while fending off racist/sexist/homophobic attacks.

    Fun!

  74. magic titty says at 2:48 pm, July 31st, 2008

    what asshole invented the phrase race card anyway? it’s so fucking stupid.

    the McCain is so cute. They’re only hope is people not voting for Barack because he’s “the colored”, but it’s not a part of their grand scheme. Ok.

  75. NoWireHangers says at 2:49 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Darehead: That picture helped soothe the burn in my heart. Thanks.

  76. FreshCliches says at 2:51 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Spence: Millard Fillmore.

    Definite turncoat/terrorist name, too.

  77. Walter Sobchak says at 2:52 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Ken, you forgot the meta-tag, which of course, should have read:

    “That’s not racial transcendence!”

  78. lilblackcorvette says at 2:53 pm, July 31st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: And you are sooooooo in love with angryblakguy you will go along with anything he says. that’s right. I have photos of you and his trucknutz. so.. soo there!I am saving them as an October Surprise. (I might figure out how to do it by then. tee hee)

  79. 4tehlulz says at 2:54 pm, July 31st, 2008

    TH-TH-THAT’S NOT CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN

  80. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:57 pm, July 31st, 2008

    lilblackcorvette: I figure the authority on pictures of lynched blacks would of course be an authentic black guy (hiding librul guilt).

  81. FreshCliches says at 3:04 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Serolf Divad: + infinity. The callback: comedy’s lil’ golden nugget.

  82. tunamelt says at 3:09 pm, July 31st, 2008

    magic titty: The makers of Magic The Gathering.

  83. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:13 pm, July 31st, 2008

    lilblackcorvette: …ladies, ladies, ladies!!! There is enough of me to go around!

    shortsshortsshorts: …”authentic black guy”? God help me if I was “generic black guy”!

  84. Spence says at 3:28 pm, July 31st, 2008

    FreshCliches: Wow, I missed that one. Good catch!

  85. tacdab says at 3:34 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Sorry to see the pic go. Nice reminder of what evil really looks like. Yes. Evil looks like a few white girls in evening gowns smiling and laughing.

  86. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 3:38 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Darn tootin’, Juan’s right on this one. Why else do you think he opposed making Dr King’s birthday a holiday in Arizona (or opposed it once it became a holiday)? ‘Cause he wants a color-blind America. Shame on Hopey!

  87. irisheyes says at 3:50 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Ken, the fact that you used a picture of a female and referred to unpleasant behavior with a slang term for female genitalia leads me to believe that YOU ARE A SEXIST PIG.

    Sincerely, me

  88. scott_dog says at 4:03 pm, July 31st, 2008

    irisheyes: I too am very fragile and easily offended. The only reason I frequent this site is to make myself cry like a little girl.

    Thank you Ken!

  89. problemwithcaring says at 4:12 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Yea, of all entertaining visual representations of hate crimes against Black people, I confess lynching is my LEAST favorite… For pure aesthetics, I often prefer with the generic “Cross-burning in Yard of Terrified Family At Night” “or “Scars on Back of Whipped Slave.”

  90. Manchowder: I’m so happy that he’s gone and left the young crowd to market him to America. South Park Republicans are great at the sort of unfunny, bitter, and nasty snark that even manages to make twentysomethings sound as if they’re yelling children off their lawn and yammering on about the mythical perfect point in history all Reps are trying to get back to.

  91. Anita Cocktail says at 5:48 pm, July 31st, 2008

    Now if we could only get rid of that scary-ass photo of Larry King….that wizened, gaping stare is gonna give me more nightmares than the lynching.
    Love, Pussy Galore

  92. Canuckledragger says at 5:58 pm, July 31st, 2008

    So, Hopey says he doesn’t look like the Dead Prez’s on US currency and the McCain campaign immediately accuses him of playing the race card?

    I thought he was just talking about jug ears… or the fact that he’s young, slender, fit and better looking than anyone running in recent memory.

    Since I didn’t infer anything about race from Hopey’s statement, and have yet to notice that anybody else in the media drew that inference, haven’t the McCain folks just outed themselves? Weren’t they just a tad too anxious to draw attention to race, when nobody else did?

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