wtf?

RACE SHOCKER: McCain Accuses Obama of Shamefully Being Colored

There is SHOCKING news from the campaign trail today as the John McCain Presidency has angrily lashed out at Barack Obama for being black. “My opponent is half-colored,” McCain said today from one of his mansions, “And worse, he claims the coloreds have not been president before. This is shameful, shame on this uppity colored and his race-baiting. Go back to Africa, Osama Spears.” UPDATE: You’re all pussies. We’ve replaced the picture (which showed a lynching, which was a legal activity in the American South when John McCain was a young man) with a small mirror. [ALL POLITICAL SITES ON EARTH]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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92 comments

  1. NoWireHangers

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  2. Doglessliberal

    I just saw this headline of Post.com and laughed out loud. I guess Hopey needs to learn to bowl and start going around in whiteface.

  3. irisheyes

    So, McCain raises (or doesn’t raise ) that gimpy arm of his a thousand times a photo op just to point out that he’s “special” ’cause he did POW time. How is drawing attention to that physical difference any different than Obama noting what everyone else can see? That he looks physically different. I gotta say Wonketteers, I’m getting mighty worn out from this crap and it’s barely August. What happened to that “campaign of issues” I heard so much about? Sigh.

  4. Serolf Divad

    “Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck,” McCain campaign manager Rick Davis said in a statement.

    Let me guess: “Obama had an ace up his sleeves… and it was the ace of spades.”

  5. sarcasticusername

    how dare barry not even come close to hinting that a man who kinda hates MLK and black people more generally, might be racist! consider walnuts’ token faux outrage duly noted.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    [re=49030]Serolf Divad[/re]: I guess he’s also playing the Antichrist card — that must be what he means when he says voting for him is “risky.”

  7. catsquatch

    Mr T-shirt Tucker makes Stay-Puft look like the notorious Puff Daddy. This scurrilous attack by the McCain camp must be rebutted.

  8. The Real JR Revisted

    Although I understand and appreciate the historical importance of the photo in American History, I have a very personal aversion to seeing it in casual company such as it is.

    My father at 15 had to flee South Caroling in the late 20′s or so in order to escape the lynch mob that was coming for him for defending a smaller black child who was being bullied. It reminds me of how close he was to getting caught and how so very easily I would not have been here.

  9. catsquatch

    Notorious Puff Daddy? Damn phone call. I knew I couldn’t think and type at the same time…or is this independent evidence of my incredible whiteness?

  10. Terry

    “Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck,” McCain campaign manager Rick Davis said in a statement.”

    Translation:

    Damn. McCain got nowhere talking about issues. Cozying up to Bush turned out not to be such a great idea. What’s left? Ooooh, let’s see if there’s anyone out can be scared by a black man who probably looked a lot like Urkle in high school.

  11. The Real JR Revisted

    There are two dead bodies that were viciously murdered and callously displayed in the same place where I would see Bush eating a kitten.

  12. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Jesus ever-lovin’ Christ, Ken! I’m with NoWireHangers and freakishlystrong. Last time I log on while I eat dinner…

  13. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49040]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=49022]NoWireHangers[/re]: …yeah, that photo is a bit much. Is there anyway we turn the volume down from 10 to lets say maybe 7?

  14. Manchowder

    So can McCain’s staffers post on Wonkette now? His mastery of the snark side grows with every passing day.

  15. Darehead

    [re=49030]Serolf Divad[/re]: Two Black Aces and Two Black Eights, the last hand of Wild Bill before he got shot by the “Coward Jack McCain”

    Now, are the little kids across America asking their parents how to play race cards?

    I ‘xpect anytime now this thread will expire while Ken changes the photo…

  16. shortsshortsshorts

    Oh please there are like a billion offensive photos on this ‘ere site and now there is mutiny?

  17. Cicada

    [re=49022]NoWireHangers[/re]: [re=49038]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: [re=49040]freakishlystrong[/re]:
    I agree. Can you change it, Ken? Pretteh puhleez?

  18. walnuts4brkfst

    According to the McCain campaign playing the ‘race card’ now means acknowledging that there are still racists and they might not like black people. For Shame Obama!

    “Nobody thinks that Bush and McCain have a real answer to the challenges we face. So what they’re going to try to do is make you scared of me,” Obama said. “You know, `he’s not patriotic enough, he’s got a funny name,’ you know, `he doesn’t look like all those other presidents on the dollar bills.’”

  19. twowheeljunkie

    Obama was played the race card the day he was born. He’s half black/half white but he will always be a Black man in the USA.

  20. Spence

    Jesus Christ, this country has a hard time electing white guys whose names end in vowels(see how many you can name) so yeah, it’s pretty damn obvious that Obama is a stretch, and the Republicans are gonna try and prevent that stretch from happening.

  21. KevoTron

    [re=49022]NoWireHangers[/re]: Yes, I agree. That image is haunting and unfortunate. I’d prefer an image that pertains to Anal-oofing or something pleasant. Thanks Ken.

  22. tunamelt

    [re=49050]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: [re=49057]Cicada[/re]: [re=49040]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=49022]NoWireHangers[/re]: Picture is a bit much.

  23. tsunami

    yes…it’s always difficult to weigh the disgusting shock factor
    against the it’s real, it happened, and if you haven’t seen it before
    take a look at what some people have in their past history that they
    have to deal with because that sort of thing is a part of their racial
    makeup, and if you see it, maybe you’ll understand some things
    a little more clearly factor.

    censor nothing often works out because when you start to draw the line…

  24. The Real JR Revisted

    [re=49056]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: There’s a couple of photos of brutal rapes out there. Wouldn’t that be offensive and wholly insane to post them up next to an article about sexism?

  25. Anita Cocktail

    [re=49040]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yeah, can’t we just show a photo of sweet lil Rosa Parks?

  26. The Neoskeptic

    from the NYDN:
    “Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck,”

    Great metaphor mixing, senior McCain adviser.

  27. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49056]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …true, I find that photo WALNUTS! and “W” heavy petting gag inducing. But this is a little different considering this is a photo of 2 dead bodies dangling from a tree below a snark inducing headline. Considering many of my comments on this site this may be considered the pot calling the kettle black(pardon the pun).

  28. lilblackcorvette

    you know what? I leave working thinking these people are going to start saying Obama is the AntiChrist. I thought I was going to hear this crap all day. But NOOOOOO. I hit the remote and I see “Obama plays the Race Card”. All I could think WHAT THA FUCKK!!!! I thought they were going to wait before they just came out and said “he’s Black”. And you know what I think about that photo? People need to see it because recent memory seems to be fading. Perhaps a picture of Adillo being shot in his door way , or the groom that was shot 50 times , or the man who dragged behind a truck in Texas. Pleeezze somebody start talking about off shore drilling. I am viscerally opposed to it because of the oil spills, that and it won’t noticeably affect gas prices oh, and I think the earth will crack at some point. Look, I come here for my talking points. I am so done with a “kinky so and so is runnig for emperor!” Focus, People. Focus! Dammit

  29. Sussemilch

    [re=49064]Aurelio[/re]: He needs a tough VP that makes him look young and healthy. Bob Dole?

  30. Larry McAwful

    Of course, McCain is playing the age card right and left. He’s olding everywhere he goes as much as Obama is blacking everywhere he goes. Maybe if McCain would quit being so old, Obama would quit being so black. How ’bout that deal, Johnny?

  31. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    Yowtch! It’s got to have at least a tiny thread of funny. Can’t find ant humor in that image.

  32. m_supercomputer

    What’s the over-under on when McCain starts actually using n-bombs? Before the last few weeks’ hilariously pathetic campaign efforts I would’ve said October, but now I’m kinda thinking between the conventions.

  33. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=49079]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: If the Angry Black Man does not accept it, then I denounce and reject it.
    Will Childers say anything?

    [re=49069]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: No. That would be bad. I concede.

  34. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    [re=49059]walnuts4brkfst[/re]: The Obama campaign is now saying the quote had nothing to do with race:

    “Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs said the senator was not referring to race.

    “What Barack Obama was talking about was that he didn’t get here after spending decades in Washington,” Gibbs said Thursday. “There is nothing more to this than the fact that he was describing that he was new to the political scene. He was referring to the fact that he didn’t come into the race with the history of others. It is not about race.””

  35. Doglessliberal

    The whole thing is just surreal, given the constant underlying racism in the attacks on Obama for his lack of experience blah blah. Yes, he has less traditional experience, but the crap that gets hauled out gaainst him all has that pat-on-the-head nice-little-Negro-know-your-place-and-stay-there feel to it.

    [re=49058]2goats[/re]: And next, that Antichrist will go to an applesauce factory! http://wonkette.com/401443/john-mccain-bombs-grocery-store

  36. freakishlystrong

    [re=49070]Anita Cocktail[/re]: Or the one of Hopey smoking..that one always works

  37. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49070]Anita Cocktail[/re]: [re=49069]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: [re=49068]tsunami[/re]: [re=49040]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=49057]Cicada[/re]: [re=49022]NoWireHangers[/re]: …other suggestions for photos:

    -A picture of a functioning Auschwitz gas chamber/oven when talking about Joe Lieberman

    -A picture of POW with his testicles in a vice grips when referring to WALNUTS! service.

    -A picture of a female victim of an acid attack when talking about sexism.

  38. Serolf Divad

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  39. Cicada

    I’m totally a pussy, and proud. Abso-fucking-lutely!
    Thanks for changing the pic, Ken.

  40. lilblackcorvette

    [re=49096]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: hmmmm… the oft-mocked “LIBRUL GUILT” kicking in…..

  41. Larry McAwful

    [re=49062]Spence[/re]: Jesus Christ, this country has a hard time electing white guys whose names end in vowels

    In real life, my name ends in a vowel. The same vowel that Senator Obama’s name ends in, in fact (guess which one.) I can appreciate what you’re saying here. As to presidents, it doesn’t happen that often. Only Monroe and Kennedy come to mind. Monroe is a recognizably English name, while Kennedy is about the most ethnic a name that can be tolerated in Archie Bunker’s house. My Polish last name would have as much trouble as Obama’s Kenyan name does.

    But on top of the vowel thing, Obama’s black, which I am not, and he’s pulling it off, or (lest I speak too soon) he could well pull it off. It’s just depressing to see that race is being dragged into this campaign at all. It would be bad enough if Obama tried to bludgeon McCain with it (which he’s never done to any of his opponents, quite unlike Senator Clinton did with her gender.) But the fact that McCain is trying to use it as a bludgeon is simply depressing.

  42. Doglessliberal

    [re=49105]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: wait what? Where is the pussies reference?

  43. jagorev

    Oh Jesus, why is everyone remotely involved in our press or government such a whining pussy? No wonder the terrorists want us to die.

  44. The Real JR Revisted

    You know, I was previously reacting to what I thought was a poor and perhaps overly spontaneous photo choice to a snarky post.

    But now I’m actually more offended that you would think that people who objected to depictions of a brutal crime complete with dead bodies are pussies. There’s fun and then there’s dark maliciousness.

    Where’s the fucking transcendence there?!

  45. AngryBlakGuy

    …Ken, I must object to this photo as well! Why couldn’t it have been a BLACK screaming child? If you need one I have no problem making my niece cry and then taking a photo!

  46. sezme

    Sweet holy jesus that photo of the toddler crying is disturbing! Don’t you have any lynch mob clip art?

  47. Darehead

    My friends. Let’s all go upstairs now and listen to Larry King’s war stories from the trenches.

  48. lilblackcorvette

    [re=49134]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Just repost the New Yorker cover and be done with it.

  49. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=49133]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: JEEBUS you were right get over it now!

    [re=49134]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I am even more offended by the new photo.

  50. Cicada

    [re=49101]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Yup. Because even acknowledging the fucking elephant in the room gives the GOP license to hammer even more on the race drum.

    Thank GAWD Clinton isn’t the nominee. Her campaign wasn’t reticent at all about mentioning sexism explicitly. WALNUTS! would have had a field day.

    The trick Obama has to pull off is the one any minority candidate has to do: pretend like race/gender/sexual orientation isn’t an issue while fending off racist/sexist/homophobic attacks.

    Fun!

  51. magic titty

    what asshole invented the phrase race card anyway? it’s so fucking stupid.

    the McCain is so cute. They’re only hope is people not voting for Barack because he’s “the colored”, but it’s not a part of their grand scheme. Ok.

  52. NoWireHangers

    [re=49116]Darehead[/re]: That picture helped soothe the burn in my heart. Thanks.

  53. Walter Sobchak

    Ken, you forgot the meta-tag, which of course, should have read:

    “That’s not racial transcendence!”

  54. lilblackcorvette

    [re=49096]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: And you are sooooooo in love with angryblakguy you will go along with anything he says. that’s right. I have photos of you and his trucknutz. so.. soo there!I am saving them as an October Surprise. (I might figure out how to do it by then. tee hee)

  55. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=49168]lilblackcorvette[/re]: I figure the authority on pictures of lynched blacks would of course be an authentic black guy (hiding librul guilt).

  56. FreshCliches

    [re=49121]Serolf Divad[/re]: + infinity. The callback: comedy’s lil’ golden nugget.

  57. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=49168]lilblackcorvette[/re]: …ladies, ladies, ladies!!! There is enough of me to go around!

    [re=49181]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …”authentic black guy”? God help me if I was “generic black guy”!

  58. tacdab

    Sorry to see the pic go. Nice reminder of what evil really looks like. Yes. Evil looks like a few white girls in evening gowns smiling and laughing.

  59. Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    Darn tootin’, Juan’s right on this one. Why else do you think he opposed making Dr King’s birthday a holiday in Arizona (or opposed it once it became a holiday)? ‘Cause he wants a color-blind America. Shame on Hopey!

  60. irisheyes

    Ken, the fact that you used a picture of a female and referred to unpleasant behavior with a slang term for female genitalia leads me to believe that YOU ARE A SEXIST PIG.

    Sincerely, me

  61. scott_dog

    [re=49313]irisheyes[/re]: I too am very fragile and easily offended. The only reason I frequent this site is to make myself cry like a little girl.

    Thank you Ken!

  62. problemwithcaring

    Yea, of all entertaining visual representations of hate crimes against Black people, I confess lynching is my LEAST favorite… For pure aesthetics, I often prefer with the generic “Cross-burning in Yard of Terrified Family At Night” “or “Scars on Back of Whipped Slave.”

  63. Maus

    [re=49051]Manchowder[/re]: I’m so happy that he’s gone and left the young crowd to market him to America. South Park Republicans are great at the sort of unfunny, bitter, and nasty snark that even manages to make twentysomethings sound as if they’re yelling children off their lawn and yammering on about the mythical perfect point in history all Reps are trying to get back to.

  64. Anita Cocktail

    Now if we could only get rid of that scary-ass photo of Larry King….that wizened, gaping stare is gonna give me more nightmares than the lynching.
    Love, Pussy Galore

  65. Canuckledragger

    So, Hopey says he doesn’t look like the Dead Prez’s on US currency and the McCain campaign immediately accuses him of playing the race card?

    I thought he was just talking about jug ears… or the fact that he’s young, slender, fit and better looking than anyone running in recent memory.

    Since I didn’t infer anything about race from Hopey’s statement, and have yet to notice that anybody else in the media drew that inference, haven’t the McCain folks just outed themselves? Weren’t they just a tad too anxious to draw attention to race, when nobody else did?

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