Wonkette
- BUT WHAT (100-YEAR-OLD DEAD) CELEBRITY IS McCAIN? Choose from several deceased people or psychotic 1940s cartoon characters with speech impediments! [Political Machine]
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The unfunny version of Don Rickles’ grandfather?
Cranckshaft
Cotton Hill?
McCain is Wil E. Coyote
If you’re in old Berlin and Obama talks hope hope.
Just step aside or might end up in a heap.
Obama, Obama talks to the crowds all day.
Even old John McCain can’t make him change his ways.
Obama, John McCain’s after you.
Obama, if he catches you we’re through.
Obama, John McCain’s after you.
Obama, if he catches you we’re through.
That John McCain is really a crazy clown,
When will he learn he can never mow him down?
Hopey Obama never bothers anyone,
Just throwin’ three pointers his idea of having fun.
Crispus Attucks, WAR HERO.
*Crankshaft* …sorry John, I want this to new nickname to stick as much as you do.
… then McCain is Major Frank Burns (from MASH).
Cindy McCain’s bitch.
The resounding consensus seems to be towards Elmer Fudd. Meaning, if Hopey ever takes to leaning lankily on things while munching a carrot, expect a left turn for Albuquerque.
Speaking of 100-year-old dead celebrities, McCain wants to negatively paint Our Barry as a celebrity. Interesting. McCain’s favoritest president of all-time was a celebrity. I can’t remember the guy’s name, some chimp named Bonzo or something. What am I, old?
Solomon Grundy?
FreshCliches: Ahh, the uppity Negro of the Revolutionary War…sorry, he’s too gay.
If Obama is Paris Hilton, McCain is Hanoi Hilton.
Elmer Fudd, by a landslide…
At least there’s one poll where everybody watching McCain cna agree.
Milton Berle. Uncle Miltie was about as funny as McCrone is a maverick.
George W Bush?
It must be nice to be an anonymous unknown like McCain who can, no doubt, walk in to any old Diner or Cafe and have a slice of pie and a Coffee and not be recognized or noticed by anyone around him.
…wasnt McCain the guy who found the “Golden Fleece” and killed the Minotaur?
The Crypt-Keeper?
Also, re: the comments on the AOL News site. Who let the tards out?
Mr. Wilson
AngryBlakGuy: Nah. Far too heroic. Think more in terms of Cassandra.
From AOL:
gloria ruiz
10:15AM
Jul 31st 2008
I am a born-again Christian and I think that Osama is the anti-christ. I know the word of God. And you mark my words. In 2009 he will be Presindent. In about 2011-2012 He will start to show his true purpose. He does not know this of himself yet, but the spirit of the devil will come upon him and BAMM! Tribulation TIME. Do not be clueless when people disapear in a moments time. We are taken in the Rapture. He like Christ needs a Prophet. Christ had John the Babtist satan must have one too. We do not know who the prophet will be but keep a look out for the person who is forever promoting him diligently. There is no comparison to the devil and Crist but satan want’s to have and be like Christ so in his plan he want’s a prophet just like Christ. You can believe or not this is your choice but please Repent for the Kindom of God is near!!!!!!!
He’s Chevy Chase. Once respected, now despised.
McCain-Feingold = National Lampoon’s Vacation
McCain 2008 = The Chevy Chase Show
queeraselvis v 2.0: Please let’s not revisit the whole “Obama is the Anti-Christ” meme. ( i hate that term)
There is no comparison to the devil and Crist but satan want’s to have and be like Christ so in his plan he want’s a prophet just like Christ.
King James giveth the English language scripture, and AOL Commenters taketh the English language away. Far, far away.
Also, I don’t get this - don’t all the crazy reborns WANT the antichrist to come so they can be raptured to their gold cloud city where Lando and Jesus will welcome them?
magic titty: So she thinks the world will end in 2012. So do the Mayans. Some born-again Christian she is.
mr. magoo…but less grounded.
lilblackcorvette: sorry. but i felt you needed warning of the rapture.
magic titty:
That’s one massive dose of teh stupid.
magic titty: Hm, sounds like fun. Will there be refreshments?
magic titty: Damn, I was going to post that! And the second best comment ‘i think marcy is a stupid c**t’ is just so inferior to that one.
magic titty: Thank you, but a warning that my boss was behind me would have been much useful…. YA THINK!
Doglessliberal: i’d assume so. they always have something to munch on at these mixers…
magic titty: I expect a lot of these types will be at the Paultardpalooza. Heck, they’re on Minneapolis streetcorners anyway all the time.
If the born agains know the future, ya’d think they would just sit back and let it all happen. But nooooooo…..
magic titty: What is it with these people who keep talking about the Rapture? If this is going to happen, I hope they hurry up and get it over with. The sooner these crackpots are gone, the better.
Harry Morgan.
I always thought McCain was more Yosemite Sam than Elmer Fudd- quick to anger, shoots off in all sorts of directions yet never hits anything, and incapable of outwitting and beating a much cooler opponent.
tunamelt:
OMFG, I think I just figured a sure-fire way to get Obama elected!!!!
All those Born Agains are actually breathless at the thought of the tribulation and all that shit. Well, then:
If Obama is, indeed, the anti-Christ, then the end of times is near and Jesus is coming back. But this can only happen if Obama is elected president.
Pass the word (to your local Baptist preacher).
The only reason Elmer Fudd is a reach is the difficulty saying “cwunt-twollop.”
tunamelt: Seriously. I sense a Spanish Inquisition on other nutball religions.
Noodle Salad: There is no comparison to the devil and Crist.
Oh, I think plenty of Floridians would beg to differ, Gloria dear.
As much as I love Cotton Hill as a suggestion (but are you “freakishlystrong” enough to clean the snarfed soda off my keyboard, mister???), I’m still in love with the Shakespearean meme.
McNasty — Richard III
Hillz — Lady MacBeth, but is “working so hard” to become Iago
Obama — Ain’t but one moor in Shakespeare, and his name also starts with O
Lieberman — You also know who you are, Mr. Merchant
Bill C. — Falstaff
Of course Larry Craig is Juliet to any-gas-station-glory-hole’s Romeo. “What light through yonder [Chevron] window break?” indeed…
Doglessliberal: Refreshments? Yeah, McDonalds! Then the born again will sin and have to be born again and again. They have to preach to themselves. Sinners, ya better get ready….
Fatty Arbuckle?
Gopherit v2.0: I always thought Paul was Fudd.
Darehead: Why don’t they just go all Jim Jones and Hale Bop on us, and end this ignorant charade. They’re no pro-active.
Expedite your fucking Rapture so I can update your Wiki page. thx.
magic titty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS24UUU4LsI&feature=related
Elmer Fudd is incredibly appropriate. An old bumbling man getting continuously outsmarted by the sleek, sly rabbit. Hilarity.
‘That wascally wabbit! mumble mumble mumble.’ I can hear it now, maybe its the next add campaign…
lilblackcorvette: Is he one of the chosen people?
Serolf Divad:
Isn’t that also the basis of the evangelical lurve affair with Israel? The Armageddon It can’t really get underway until the Holy Land is completely controlled by the Israelites, something something?
Let’s find a passage in the New Testament that says The Rapture won’t happen until NCLB is reformed.
BobLoblawLawBlog: I can see Tucker Carlson as Robin Goodfellow.
WALNUTS! = Ric Flair, but not the awesome Ric Flair from the 70s and 80s. The awful Ric Flair of the last few years, with sagging leathery skin who kept forgetting what he was supposed to do and just filled the gaps in with chops.
McCain is a hybrid. He’s a cross between Walter Matthau, Rodney Dangerfield and Dick Cheney.
magic titty: …you gotta love those “Rapture” crazy’s! Let just hope they all go the way of those Hale-Bopp, Heavens Gate members.
BobLoblawLawBlog: Even better: McNasty is Thersites from Troilus and Cressida, who spends most of the play bitching and moaning about Ajax, the Trojans, and everything else. Oh, and from the same play: Bill C=Pandarus.
Serolf Divad: … until he drops the apple sauce.
A bipolar Mr. Magoo.
Grampa Abe Simpson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW5Eqycf4d4
magic titty: Yeah, like I wrote above, they get born again and again cuz they just can’t stop the sinnin’. They want the rapture to happen just at that right moment when all their sin bills are paid up, but it never happens cuz they just keep strayin” with those cheeseburgers and beefcakes.
That’s why it is so fun to fuck da born agains, they get so turned on by the guilt. (I don’t know this personally but remember it from Steinbeck, or someone.)
Serolf Divad: Brilliant! Someone should prepare the leaflets for handing out at bus stops and church bake sales.
obfuscator: Just pretend to have a vision and make it up. That’s how belief in the Rapture got started in the 19th century. It’s got no biblical precedent but some crazy preacher and some chick who had a “vision.”
Doglessliberal: punch and pie.
obfuscator: Hagee can tell you about that topic. McCain the fornicator and his prognosticator Hagee…so to re-thread, this would be….?
Tooter and the Wizard?
Robert Novak.
tunamelt: There actually is some Biblical precedent, but it’s pretty tenuous — like one line in Thessaloians, I think. A weak argument to base your whole life on, in any event.
Oh, and McCain = Ted Knight
Increase Mather
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Increase_Mather
“He was initially opposed to the Half-Way Covenant but later supported it.”
“During his tenure at Harvard he regularly stamped out any relaxation of Puritan strictness, such as latitudinarianism, which had flourished during his overseas absence.”
magic titty: He does not know this of himself yet, but the spirit of the devil will come upon him and BAMM!
What? He turns into Emeril Lagasse?
Sorry to recycle, but he’s the spitting image of dead celeb Lon Chaney Snr..
ReelectTilden:
McCain =
TedBobby KnightReelectTilden: Well, then, some ridiculous History channel special on the end of the world totally lied to me.
tunamelt: It could be true. Most of those folks’ faith is based on visions and bumper stickers.
ReelectTilden: tunamelt: Hagee has a take on the rapture stuff, and Baldwin has a take, and then there is James Dobson, and well, I mention these folks a lot on Wonkette and nobody seems innerested,…. waaaaaah….sob, sob….
Anyway this is a McCain thread so we’ll stick with Hagee:
http://www.evangelicalright.com/2007/07/rapture_ready_the_unauthorized.html
CUFI [Christians United For Israel] has an ulterior agenda: its support for Israel derives from the belief of Hagee and his flock that Jesus will return to Jerusalem after the battle of Armageddon and cleanse the earth of evil. In the end, all the non-believers - Jews, Muslims, Hindus, mainline Christians, etc. - must convert or suffer the torture of eternal damnation. Over a dozen CUFI members eagerly revealed to me their excitement at the prospect of Armageddon occurring tomorrow. Among the rapture ready was Republican Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. None of this seemed to matter to Lieberman, who delivered a long sermon hailing Hagee as nothing less than a modern-day Moses. Lieberman went on to describe Hagee’s flock as “even greater than the multitude Moses commanded.”
BobLoblawLawBlog: Glad to oblige! I gave you an excuse to stop working!
It’s got to be Popeye, doesn’t it?
*Sailor man, check.
*Grotesquely distended jowl, check.
*Temper issues, check.
*Gaunt, pox-ridden trollop consort, check
I saw the “John Wayne” and for a second thought of John Wayne Gacy. If that was an option, I would have gone with that.
i can’t believe that asshat would insult estelle getty’s memory by offering her as an analogous persona for walnuts! i’m sincerely outraged about this.
WadISay: Ummmm, yeah. That works really good. And funny. Except………for the ARMS. But maybe if we sent McCainEye some spinach…
The love child of Mickey Rooney and James Cagney?
Serolf Divad: Exactly right. Look, the big book says, clear as it says anything at least, that the antichrist will take Earthly power, the tribulation and rapture will happen, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Since it’s going to happen, there’s not exactly any good reason to fight it, is there?
I’m not saying you have to vote for Obama if you think he is the antichrist. But, if he is, voting against him and trying to have him lose at the polls seems like something that might be even more useless than prayer.
But, if the rapture comes, then wouldn’t they be all alone here while we’re playing hacky sack with Jebus and Buddha?
Micky Rooney, a lil Yosemite sam, and a lil Grandpa Simpson
BadNewsJack: When the rapture comes, they go away to the Kingdom of Heaven. But we, the sinners, are “left behind” with the Antichrist Obama and have 1000 years of Great Tribulations.
Darehead: YAAAYYYY TRIBULATIONS!! Is that some kind of booze?
Less talking, more voting for Estelle Getty, people!
Jed Clampett
magic titty:” In 2009 he will be Presindent…. In about 2011-2012, BAMM! Tribulation TIME. Do not be clueless when people disapear in a moments time.”
Oh please let it be soon. I’m not sure I can wait til 2011 for these morans to disappear. I think she’s right, though, that Obama is the anti-Crist. Barry doesn’t look anything like Charlie Crist.
D. W. Griffith and Andy Rooney?
http://www.oldchristmaslights.com/images/1930%201940%203/bells%20Katzenjammer_Outside.jpg
use the linky—that’s john boy right under the tree.
magic titty: From earlier, Yes he’s a memberof the lost Fatassdicklickerstein tribe.
zsa zsa gabor!
I am actually waiting for Golden Girls to start. Thirty toturous minutes to go. Yes i am a fan.