Wonkette
Old Hillary Clinton has sent out another weird e-mail begging for money to cover her campaign debt. She will take you and a guest out to dinner! Hillary writes, “Summer is a time for simple pleasures: family vacations, baseball games, and dinner out under the stars. At least it is if you aren’t running for president!” Oh Jesus… Grandma’s sneaked her way into the scotch cabinet again. [Hillz]
GET A SECOND JOB OR SOMETHING
Have A Hot Meal With Whatsername… Clinton, Hillary!
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11:50 AM
on Tue July 29 2008
By
Jim Newell
1227 Views
I wonder if we can forgo dinner and just pound shots and beers like she did on the campaign trail?
Next…Cougar Hunt with Hillary!
if she pays for dinner, do you have to put out?
Based on the amount of her debt and that vague image, I think she’s saying that you’ll have dinner at McDonalds with cardboard cut outs of Cher and Ron Reagan.
If she drinks you under the table, do you have to pay off the ENTIRE debt? Ouch.
The dinner conversation would be engaging.
My Dinner Date with Hils
“So what do you think about the election?” Hils’ eyes narrow as my date kicks me in the shin.
“Um, Obama’s really making McCain look the fool, sort of what he did to you.” 2nd kick to the shin.
“Hey, Hils. Where’s Bill?” Hils’ wine glass breaks from the pressure. 3rd, 4th and 5th kicks to the shin from my date.
“I was kinda expecting Chelsey to be here…” Hils takes salad fork and jams it in my eye as my date throws drink in my face and leaves.
Tuna taocs for dinner.
Okay Hillary, I’ll sign up — but I’ll have to cancel if I win the Cream of Wheat Dinner with John McCain.
This makes me queasy
It’ll be one of those meals where you think everything is included and then find out that each breadstick you ate will cost you 10,000 dollars. She’s have the cost check hold your jacket hostage until you forked over another 50,000, and unlocking the door to let you out — that’s another 50,000. Mark Penn’s got to be paid, people.
Will this dinner under the stars feature a re-enactment of scenes from the movie Picnic? My favorite is when Rosalind Russell claws desperately at William Holden.
How much do you have to contribute to get dinner? I mean, if I contribute $1, and get a fancy dinner, I’m clearly getting the better part of the deal, especially because I will have accomplished a life (primary)-long goal of personally putting Hillary in greater debt.
NoWireHangers: Hey, as long as it’s not Cher straddling a Navy warship cannon and singing “If I Could Turn Back Time”, I’d be up for…..wait, no I wouldn’t!
Larry Fine: As long as “taocs” is not fancy mis-type speak for bearded-clam al-dente. *vurrp*
Where’s the web site where I can win dinner and sex with Scarlett Johansson?
Delicious: barackobama.com
Here’s the official list of restaurants where winners can dine with Hillton:
–Roy Roger’s.
–Arby’s.
–Checker’s.
–Burger King.
–McDonald’s.
–Bennigan’s!!!!! (Better hurry!)
–Applebee’s.
–Olive Garden.
–Bob Evan’s.
–Kenny Roger’s.
–Famous Dave’s.
–Carraba’s.
–Macaroni Grill.
–Sonic.
–Red Robin.
–Chuck E. Cheese.
–TGIF.
–Steak ‘n Cheese.
–Silver Diner.
–Tastee Diner.
–American Diner.
magic titty: Oh wow, I just went there and a unicorm appeared in my office. What a magical web site that is!
loudmouthredhead: … bearded-clam al-dente.
Ewwww! No teeth, please!
thefrontpage: I am only “family” at one of these establishments.
She’s reduced to begging you buy her a hot meal?
Is it transferable? I can think of at least three awesome people I would love to send to eat with Hillary.
Disclaimer:
This is not an offer of debt reduction. Mrs. Clinton is compensated for her time and companionship only, and anything beyond this is coincidental and a matter between two or more consenting adults, one of them a sexagenarian.
Hmm, checking out the contest rules: Prize includes two round-trip tickets and dinner with Hillary Clinton. Estimated value of such prize is $3,000 …
OK, two round-trip tickets - let’s say $1,000. Food price for the three meals - maybe $500 if it’s an expensive place. That leaves $1,500 for the booze. OK, Hillary, you’re on.
FreshCliches:
L. O. L.
I guess since she already bilked her supporters out of all their life savings…the only thing she has to entice them is the promise of some hot soup.
If I just dangle hundred-dollar bills in front of her, do you think I could get her to stip down like a Nebraska Republican, climb up on the table at Applebee’s and do fifteen minutes of seal-clapping and inappropriate cackling?
I’d go, if Bill would promise not to hit on my date. That would be Awwwwkkkwaaaard
I’d rather win the contest of dinner with Kwame at Benz Chili Bowl.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: I can’t help but read your response as “eaten BY Hillary” for some reason.
In theatre there’s a tired, yet amusing gag during light and friendly rehearsals, which involves the sung opening line to “The Sound of Music”, changed to “The Hills are alive, AND THEY’LL EAT YOUR CHILDREN…”
so now I’ve created an unfollowable segue. My apologies. But I do believe that after-dinner coffee and chat with Hilz would eventually give way to a ravenous Mori-Chack-designed pink-spray melee, forever to stain the banana pantsuit, and thus eliminate one Clinton-turned-Obama supporter.
Here’s the part I don’t get: If Hillary’s debt was $20 million like, a month and a half ago, what’s it down to now. I mean, after a month and a half of non-stop e-mailing her 18 million supporters, plus several million others who couldn’t give a shit but might send her a few bucks just out of a spirit of party unity/shut the fuck up already, she must have knocked that sucker down to just 6 or 7 million, right? 10 or 12 million? 18? 19?
Has anybody besides Barack Obama actually given her anything at all?
RooseveltFranklin:
Or win a dinner for three with Jim McGreavy and his charming wife at TGIFs.
There will certainly be that awkward moment when the check arrives, especially if Bill indulged himself on tater skin appetizers and she on nineteen margaritas.
cs11: Actually, you’ll be the one “paying” for dinner, but do you want her to put out? With Bubba watching?
…whats next?! Hillz getting caught stealing from the offering plate in church or stealing jewelery off freshly buried corpses!?
Dinner will consist of cheese and crackers.
If she’ll throw in a little sex, I’m in. (I know, it’s was wrong, even as a joke…wasn’t it?)
masterdebater: Shit, I’ll cough up $300 for a handy under the table.