Wonkette
On Monday, Barack Obama spent three hours in the offices of Covington and Burling, the workplace of one of the people on his vice presidential selection committee. Also, Caroline Kennedy was in town yesterday, as were David Plouffe and David Axelrod and Robert Gibbs and OH GOD TIM KAINE, THE GUY WHO DELIVERED THAT WRETCHED STATE OF THE UNION REBUTTAL A FEW YEARS BACK, WILL BE OUR VICE PRESIDENT BOOOOOOOOOOO.
Combine the presence of numerous people in the same place at the same time with a story so obvious that even the New York Times had to write about it (Hillary will not be veep, blah blah blah) and you have a recipe for a big announcement. Expect Barack Obama to hold a press conference tomorrow on Mount Rushmore with Maggie Gyllenhaal and Scarlett Johansson performing a live sex show as Obama announces his exciting vice presidential pick by pointing to the words written on a flaming zeppelin streaking across the sky, while somewhere in Ohio John McCain drops another jar of applesauce.
Obama heads to VP vetter’s office building [Political Ticker]
I was actually hoping he would pick Jimmy Carter or something… not only because he’s an excellent Statesman, but also because we all know that when you add chocolate and peanut butter, the results are always perfection.
Yes I went there.
…pointing to the words written on a flaming zeppelin streaking across the sky.
Whoa, whoa, hold it there… this is Obama we’re talking about, not Ron Paul.
All I read was “Maggie Gyllenhaal and Scarlett Johansson performing a live sex show”
So, what else is happening?
Obama & Kaine = OK for the USA!
Oh, OK for the USA…copyright, all rights reserved.
The Real JR Revisted: You, sir, are spectacular.
Will “dropped the applesauce” now become the “jumped the shark” turn of phrase indicating that a given political campaign is officially gesphincto?
Example: With his latest clumsy attack ad against Candidate X, Candiate Y has officially dropped the applesauce, essentially writing his own political obituary.
Discuss.
Where was Lara Logan?
He really needs somebody he can send to funerals.
The “Live Sex Acts” plank of the Democratic platform is sorely in need of this update.
Sorely in need…
Hopefully the VP will have a hot wife, with big tits, and that wears sexy outfits.
Larry Fine: Why, to continue the trend started by Lynn Cheney?
AfghanVet: Quick, go register that domain!
Larry Fine: Dennis Kucinich? Failing that, Brad Pitt?
Larry Fine: Uh oh. So solly.
http://www.rightpundits.com/?p=1795
Candy Kaine
Sugar Kaine
Hurri-Kaine
Ar-Kaine
Co-Kaine
Novo-Kaine
OK, I can work with this, go ahead and pick him.
My grumpy senses are tingling. This can’t be good. I had the same feeling before was Lieberman chosen.
Larry Fine: Mrs Kaine, ah, not so much.
SayItWithWookies: in on the Maggie/Scarlett sex show I hope.
Lebron!
Can Tim Kaine post up NBA power forwards AND take most guards off the dribble? Fuck no.
Monsieur Grumpe: If it helps, there is only about a 2% chance Lieberman will be chosen this year.
If Hopey’s shrewd, and he is, he ain’t announcing diddlysquat on the Veep front for a looooong time to come. He’s already itemized what he wants in a Veep, but only time will tell what he needs in a Veep, in order to prevail in November.
Let McCain announce his choice, in order to get some facetime on TV during the continuing Obama/media lovein. Let that choice endure a lot of scrutiny in the coming months and let the dew evaporate on whatever rose McCain plucks. Then, when Hopey ultimately picks Hillaryous, she’ll seem like a fresh new face compared to McCain’s selection, already “old news” by then.
BTW/OT/WTF: In the middle of the night, I tried to log on here and was repeatedly auto-steered to something called Wonkette.org ["Helping you find what you need"], where I was enticed with “Pay Per Click,” “Mary Kay Cosmetics,” and “Make My Dick Bigger.”
Much as I pity the poor guy with the small dick, it’s not my responsibility to make it bigger for him. Doesn’t he get unsolicited spam for penis cream, pills and patches like the rest of us?
Did anyone else here get hijacked to this odd little niche of nonsense?
O-Kaine!
Godless Liberal *: By?
Great, all we need is a bunch of “Is Kaine Able?” headlines from now until November. And we wonder why the terrorists hate our freedom.
Godless Liberal *: I would say 2% is SORELY overstating Liebster’s chances. Ron Paul will be VP before Lieberman.
Now there’s an idea.
He don’t lie, he don’t lie, he don’t lie .
O-Kaine
ManchuCandidate: I have always found Johansson is to be somewhat cold and aloof and given to seeking restraining orders.
Well at least Kaine’s Kids are normal looking.
Plain vanilla.
Although his name makes me incredibly hungry for Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers. Most of the Cane’s chains I’ve eaten at are in Louisiana, but there’s one in Charlottesville, Virginia.
WIN
Surely, Kaine’s SOTU rebuttal could not have possibly been worse than the one delivered by Sebelius, who did it this year?
The Real JR Revisted: Chocolate and peanut butter, mmmm. But no Graham or Gramm crackers, please.
Canuckledragger: Yes, I did! Cuz it wasn’t the middle of the night for me but late afternoon, normal time! I figured, YAY!, the site is down so they can give us Wonkette 3.0, with deluxe features like “preview” and ‘embed graphics” and “send secret messages to Canuckledragger” etc. But alas, same old. It was exciting to think I could enlarge my member though, Even though I don’t have one.
AfghanVet: Martin Van Buren’s nickname was ‘Old Kinderhook’, and so his supporters set up ‘OK Clubs’ and used ‘OK for Old Kinderhook’ as a slogan. If ‘OK’ is used on Obama/Kaine bumper stickers, it’ll only remind people that, like Van Buren, Obama is a secret Dutchman.
Obama - Caroline Kennedy.
Just when you thought we’d never see another Kennedy in the White House again.
“Expect Barack Obama to hold a press conference tomorrow on Mount Rushmore with Maggie Gyllenhaal and Scarlett Johansson performing a live sex show as Obama announces his exciting vice presidential pick by pointing to the words written on a flaming zeppelin streaking across the sky, while somewhere in Ohio John McCain drops another jar of applesauce.”
^The imagery this creates is oh so tasty!
jagorev: Yes, becuase the American electorate is so educated that way.
I was thinking more along the lines of “LBJ for the USA”. With pins similar to the ones that my father designed for that campaign that were the United Stats with LBJ inside.
Think outline of US mainland with a big “OK” in the middle.
WIDTAP: Or, Obama-Shriver 2008!!
AfghanVet: I like it. Pls design that map (I say blue background, white outline on map, red OK) and license it to the Obama campaign for million.
*millionS, damnit
The cheese factor not withstanding, the OK thing can go a long way.
It’s going to be OK.
America is OK.
You get the point. Now, Obama, just do it and make us Virginians, home of the largest collection of Civil War second place trophies, proud!
RuperttheBear: Oh wow. She baked cookies to get her husband’s attention? That’s so Martha Stewart I might have to go gag real quick.
Actually, no, that sounds like good ol’ Bobby Jindal. Baking cookies for someone in study group… but no sex, not before marriage, no! We can just have study dates where we eat cookies but don’t brush my hand when you reach for the cookies or else I’ll have to exorcise Satan from you.
Caroline says…pick me!
I can’t make the funeral joke this morning.
meh. i was hoping it would be a liberal Cheney, but gabbier. some kind of Biden / Carlin / Lewis Black type to be let off the chain and get medieval when necessary. this Kaine looks too milquetoast.
WIDTAP: That’s a little too Cheneyesque for my taste.
Larry Fine: Fred Thompson is not in the running.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Okay, then maybe Bill Bradley?
sanantonerose: Kids look okay, but Tim looks pretty gay.
Darehead: Obama-Shriver: As close to the White House as Arnold will ever get.
2goats: correct
http://www.firstlady.governor.virginia.gov/AboutAH/bio.cfm
AfghanVet: How about “McRommies — SuperSize your USA”.
I think a McCain Kaine ticket has legs.
Outstando: And rips apart her blouse, revealing a lacy pink bra.
AfghanVet: not to be all serious, but what does Kaine add to the ticket, besides a catchy slogan? He has no real foreign policy/defense experience–was Richmond mayor and the VA Gov. NOt a whole lot of defense against the Obama-is-a-young-whippersnapper mantra.
AfghanVet: “It’s Going to be OK” can be a powerful meme.
Monsieur Grumpe: I don’t know who I want for VP, but that person is spending his/her afternoon pulling the wings of flies and the evening switching the mens/womens room signs at the old people’s home.
AxmxZ: he could pick Sam Nunn:
“Bring it ON”
“America, ON the right path”
etc
Plus, the old, white, southern thing would be good.
Please God, let it not be Biden.
Please Goddess, let it not be Biden.
Please, Allah, Buddha, Zeus, whomever, I will give up golf forever if you promise it will not be Biden!
“OK” just makes me think of Oklahoma, Texas’s Canada.
Or: I’m OK, you’re OK?
Meh.
I think he should have the top contenders openly compete on national television. The winner would be chosen by a combination of the contest scores and the audience vote. America would fall in love with their self-chosen VP, and they’d all vote for Obama. Also, the profits from the show could go to funding some charity, which also pulls at people’s heartstrings and votestrings and whatnot.
sanantonerose: HAHAHAHA I just spit coffee all over my keyboard!
since Kaine is one of his national co-chairs, how about buttons that read:
Obama/Co-Kaine 2008™
Doglessliberal: He brings one word…Virginia.
@Rupert the Bear: Jesus Christ! She looks like a bull dyke from the starship enterprise. In her velour “casual” uniform.
AfghanVet: but is that enough? BHO might well win VA anyway.
Doglessliberal: I agree, but I think Virginia swinging (and I don’t mean just Ashburn…ba da boom) could signal a tipping point to a landslide.
Darehead: I’d love it for Barry to pick Biden - if Biden was a beloved son of the South, rather than a damn Yankee from … where? Some place with 3 electoral votes?
Don’t worry. It’s not going to be be Biden.
Lascauxcaveman: But Delaware was a slave state! Biden is perfect!
Lascauxcaveman: Yeah, but Biden was born and raised in Scranton, Pennsylvania, which makes him a damn Yankee thayuh in thet belov’d fo’mer slave state of Delawayuh, Ah do declayuh.
Heavens to Stonewall Jackson: Senator Biden’s a… a… carpetbagguh!
AfghanVet: Your lips to the Unicorn hope Shark God’s ears
jagorev: Yes, they did, but OK was already in common newspaper usage a year before the campaign. It was a joke acronym that stood for Oll Korrect or Ole Kurreck. They did a lot of that back then, with other popular ones including KG (no go), KY (no use) and NS (Enough said). Think of it as a dead-tree meme.
Lazy Media: So ‘OK’ wasn’t coined because of Van Buren? You better not say that to the Van Buren Gang (they’re as mean as he was).
Lascauxcaveman: OK, I won’t worry if you say so. I just don’t think Biden’s jaws are big enough to hold his feet anymore. He’s had to chew on those little piggies too many times.
Norbert: He’s a Democrat who won in Virginia, which means he must be some kinda hardass. We’ve already got one liberal on the ticket (and he’s COLORED!); another one would just be piling Shriver on McGovern. Liberals are not a plus in a national election; it’s not like the Republicans have the slightest chance in the Northeast or California, anyway.
jagorev: Whatcha do with the Van Buren Boys is give ‘em eight upside the head, Jackson style. Punk ass Dutch boys.
That reminds me of my favorite slang term ever, for the male equivalent of a fag hag, i.e. a man who obsessively hangs around lesbians. Dutch Boy.
Kaine is also FROM Missouri. Not sure if that factors in this in any way.
Obama-Jolie: Just to really piss off Jon Voight.