Wonkette
EXCLUSIVE MUST READ from Politico: “As Senator Barack Obama turns to the choice of his running mate, Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine has emerged as one of the campaign’s potential finalists, sources familiar with conversations in Richmond and in Chicago said.” Eh.
This important News Development calls for a Wonkette Poll:
Kaine ‘very, very high’ on VP shortlist [Politico]
He definitely qualifies as a boring, white guy…frankly I was hoping for someone with a little more pizazz. But at least he won’t always be trying to knock Obama off.
is this the guy who called a bunch of teh gays “macaca”? if not, he should have.
pat robertsons personal trainer: That was George “I display a noose in my office” Allen.
Texan Bulldoggette:
Pizazz…
How’s got more pizazz then the guy who played Superman on TV…
Wait, that was Dean Caine. Nevermind.
pat robertsons personal trainer: Oh yeah, Frmr. Sen. Bob Allen was a funny guy. Stupid, but funny. Not funny haha, but funny as in he’d have butt sex with u if he had a chance. What was I talking about….
I don’t know — I would be thrilled if Virginia was actually in play — except of course that I wouldn’t be able to just vote for the loopiest candidate on the ballot. Well Barry, if you come to Virginia and bring some naked, caged, tiger-striped PETA chicks, you’ve definitely got my vote.
Texan Bulldoggette: True, but teaming up an older, boring white guy with a tall, yummy black guy worked really well for Law and Order
My mistake, George Allen.
I lived in VA for 8 years, and I’ll defend Tim Kaine to the death. He was mayor of Richmond when I got there, and he’s always been one of the state’s most popular politicians. Which isn’t hard, I’ll admit. On top of that, he’s known around town as a really nice and incredibly well-liked guy who cares about people and has a fantastic sense of humor.
Also? His favorite band is the Replacements. INSTANT AWESOME.
I’m not a fan of his stance on abortion (against), but I can’t think of anything bad to say about him beyond that.
“Macaca” is George Allen, btw.
He looks kinda like a creepy pedophile uncle. The guys who owns the candy store and wants to take polaroids of Arnold in back… but that’s less important than how much of a bulldog he can be in the VP debates. I’ve never heard him speak.
But I want some brute fucking anger and outrage to counter balance Barry’s cool charisma. Someone who can volley back one of Romney’s snarky smug put downs with a swift “fuck you, pretty boy” karate chop of reality! Lloyd Bentsen style, bitches!
I pick secret door number four: vice president truck nutz
I would like to point out that right now Tim Kaine is “very, very high.” Obviously he has access to the good stuff. I see why Obama is interested.
tunamelt: In Nutz we Trucks.
Nah, too white.
How about Rae Dawn Chong? Nobody has any idea what she is.
SayItWithWookies: Hell, I’d vote for Alan Keyes if he rolled into my town with caged nekkid PETA chicks painted up like sexy tigers.
I’m rooting for Kaine because I’m tired of the White Man never getting a break.
A vice president named “Tim”? That won’t scare teh Ay-rabs.
Kaine… McKaine… Meh.
Plus, whazzup with the Richard Nixon wanna-be hairdo? This guy getting down with the Replacements is like Nixon hugging Sammy Davis Jr.: AWWKKK-WARRRDDD.
ah, virginia’s toothy, squinty “chipmunk governor.” excellent choice.
Who is Tim Kaine and where is Virginia? Is that near West Virginia? Are they states, or counties?
Obama/Kaine? Sounds like a weird variant of sugarcane. I can only cringe when I see news articles about “Obamacans for Obama/Kaine”.
Not that VP has any bearing on anything.
When I think of ruling the VP debates, I sort of hope RuPaul is being vetted.
ObamaKaine?
John Mcain
This could break Florida for sure.
So tomorrow on teh internets — Hopey and “Macaca” campaign buttons, you say?
I can see the bumper sticker now:
OK in 08
Watchreader: “Not that VP has any bearing on anything.”
Yes. Dick Cheney has done nothing.
Yes, we Kaine. Meh.
shortsshortsshorts: Well, I mean, harvesting human flesh isn’t really something.
All he has to do is change one letter…
Kane…
denver_80203: It would befuddle the “GET OFF MY LAWN!” crowd, and possibly split the Cletus vote. The Barrisiah may have WIN with this.
i’m bored already.
let’s be honest with ourselves… it needs to be hillary.
the clintons bring the entertainment that we need, and the drama we can believe in.
He did shoot a lawyer, but that’s not enough.
denver_80203:
“Hey Doris, who were we going to vote for?”
“McCain.”
“Who?”
“McCain!!”
“Speak up!”
“O my… McCain!!!”
“Let’s see… McCain/Romney… no… there were are, Obama/Kaine!”
eyegoneblack: Not bad!
Kaine is disliked by a lot of progressives in Virginia. Here’s an example. http://www.raisingkaine.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=15132 That very blog changed its name so Kaine would no longer be in the title.
No no no, it’s gotta be Biden. Because Biden-Mitten VP debate = COMEDY GOLD.
Obakain:
Cross between Obie Won Kenobi and Novocaine.
Makes you all numb before hearing “The Force will be with you, always.”
Oh, if Kaine were to become VP, Virginia’s Lt. Gov. is a right wing wacko. Not that it matters in that state.
Darehead: Obamakaine.
Oooo, oooo, oooo — Ben Smith at Politico says: Avi Zenilman reports that Obama, Caroline Kennedy, David Axelrod, and David Plouffe just left the offices of Covington and Burlington. Obama left via an exit on E Street, the rest, a few minutes later, through the main Pennsylvania Avenue exit.
Plouffe declined to comment on the meeting at the office of vice presidential vetter Eric Holder, which appears to have lasted more than three hours.
Where are they getting these BLAX AGAINST BARACK people from. I’m watching this well spoken delusional Christie guy support those ads, I saw the op-ed page editor from the Washington times on CNN Sunday morning. Do they know how disgusting they look? Can I make money being a token? Don’t they realize what tools they look like? It’s not that we have to stick with the black guy no matter what but this man is smart, confident , respected by the other leaders of the world, what more does he need to do? And honestly, can I make a make a dollar badmouthing Barack? I’m not above pimping my self for the right amount!
Childers should be Hopey’s veep because Childers said nothing.
“Well, Mother, they is nominatin’ a Tin Can fer Vice Prezident, don’t it beat all?” Where is Minnie Pearl when we really need her?
I don’t care who he picks as VP, as long as that person spends every waking hour visiting with wounded soldiers. It may help if they also sleeps in the same bed as a wounded soldier. Maybe an entourage of wounded soldiers can follow them around on the campaign trail?
Yeah, but can he shoot an old man in the face?
denver_80203: With Bob Barr as Pat Buchanan.
denver_80203: With Palm Beach Jews for Bob Barr!
Obamakaine is a very powerful drug.
This makes sense. I never bought into the idea that Obama needed to pick someone with national security cred in order to address a weakness. It’s dumb because it acknowledges a weakness.
Following the same logic, I firmly believe that McCain will pick Patrick Swayze.
I have no idea what’s going to happen in this election because there are too many asshole factors.
So, tonight, I’m with Wesley Snipes, tax hero.
“Always bet on black!”
I was really digging the Sibelius-for-veep thing. I like her tits better than Tim “walk the earth” Kaine’s.
denver_80203: thank you for that. Outright prolonged laughter is rare in my day any more. My personal vote for the win.
Why no liveblogging of Grumpy Old Men 3: John McCain Battles Senility While Larry Just Zones Out? I mean, the dude just mentioned no racial quotas, and then said the military is the best system! Hey blacks, you’re not getting that job, better strap on the camou helmets!
Volumptuous: It’s a hell of a drug. Especially if you’re Rick James, bitch!
We need more of these polls.
InsidiousTuna: whoa, we have dueling Tuna.
I used to work for him, a million years ago. He’s a genuinely decent person. He’s against abortion because he’s Catholic. He seriously considered becoming a priest before he decided he liked girls too much. The family worships at the inner city Richmond parish nearest the Executive Mansion rather than one of the tonier ones out in the West End, though, because he and his wife wanted their kids to have the experience of being a minority. His wife is the daughter of Gov. Holton, who refused to go along with Massive Resistance, and she agreed to be bussed to a black school back when George Wallace was standing in the schoolhouse door. Wish I had some snark to contribute, but he’s really kind of earnestly sweet.
Voldamor for VEEP!!!!1!
ForTheTurnstiles: I’m hoping for Sebelius or Schweitzer, personally. Basically, I hope it’s anyone except Sam Nunn. Or Chuck Hagel (like his anti-Bush critique but that hardly qualifies him to be the Democratic veep).
I’m fairly convinced WALNUTS! will choose Romney on the “boring old white guy” ticket.
I think Obama should offer the VP spot to McCain. At this point I think he would jump at the chance.
VTBen: The Montana guy? Yeah, I like him!
I think Joe “Loose Cannon” Biden would totally rock. He could well be the first sitting vice president to bite a member of the U.S. Senate and break skin.
sanantonerose: Schweitzer is badass. he’s like a human English Bull Terrier.
As for the GOP mating game:
Recent news is that after a long cold war, religious zealot James Dobson is warming up to McCain.
Ergo,
McCain has Huckabee or some other offering to the neocon religious right up his short sleeve.
And/or: Dobson is afraid of losing his flock to Baldwin/Castle and their Pauldian Angel. Which has already been happening.
Tim who? Oh, wait, that guy has the Mark of Kaine.
Is Barry trying to confuse voters with a butterfly ballot into choosing Kaine instead of McCain?
I think it’s tots a herring of sanguine hue.
No, you’ve all got it wrong. It’s, “BARACKAINE”. Wasn’t that what they called Mr. T on The A Team? I pity the fool who don’t vote for BARACKAINE!
Delicious: We have for quite some time. It’s cool though, we’re, like, Facebook friends and everything.
Tim MehVeigh….why is that name so familiar? Wasn’t he in the witness protection program? He’s a governor now?!
Personally I was hoping Hopey would pick a woman to be the first black veep…but do it quietly while HillaBill are in hiding in their bourbon-fueled underground shelter.
You know, a bold move like a Republican woman, somebody like Rebecca Latimer Felton or Olympia Snowe or even little miss muffet, Barbara Mikulski. Huzzah for short people!!
“Should Barry pick this boring loser Tim McKaine as his black vice president?”
The question is, is Hopey white enough to pick a black vice president who will languish far from the limelight, without honor, victory or interns?
This guy would totally score the other-people-we’ve-never-heard-of demographic of the electorate.
He took the independents from McCain. He took the foreign policy creds from McCain. He took Arizona from McCain. And now he’s going to take his name.
I’m holding out for Kathy from Kansas, but at least picking a pro-life veep would send a message to the Harriet Christians out there - get with the program or suck balls!
gurukalehuru: Does this guy got the cancer-skins too? I’ve seen too much of that nonsense already.
Catlick - check.
Johnny Reb - check (sorta).
Giuliani moment: Strong showing in V-Tech aftermath - nice touch.
But… not a vet. And not not a Harvard Law grad.
Next!
I think “Obama-Kaine” is what my dentist used to knock me out before he and his assistant did unspeakable things to me. At least, that’s what I requested.
I’m still mad at Jim Webb for pulling his name out of contention.
Tim Kaine gave a good response to a SOTU address a few years ago, but I was distracted by his eyebrows going up and down a la John Belushi. He needs to work on that.
This is a Change I Can Grieve In.
GENERAL WESLEY CLARK
Speaking as someone who thinks that even the sun shines less brightly on THAT side of the Potomac, Tim Kaine is a good man and would make a good choice for VP.
I told y’all that Obama is looking for someone to help him with the cracker vote. Told ya.
Now, I am truly torn. I’ve always found that voting for the man with the overbite is a sound and logical rule when considering ones options.
But dear lord on high http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/06gf6YQg7mgRu/610x.jpg
How, how can I vote for a soul so gauche to do a double thumbs up to the Queen (PBUH). Its not right, its sacrilege. I will be talking to the wife forthwith and withhold her absentee voting form until she sees sense.
Backing up what others have said, the people that know Kaine the best (that is, Richmond Democrats) really, really like him. He’s the bee’s knees. Believe it or not, young female professionals were hot for this guy when he was mayor. Though, that may say more about the quality of guys in RVA than the man who may be VP.
fistedbymollyringwald: That’s pretty gauche. That’s too gauche for the Ice Capades, even.
The guy looks a bit like Tony Soprano, doesn’t he?
regisgoat: I’m personally scared as to what he did to Her Maj (PBUH) while Phil the Greeks back was turned to elicit such a gauche storm of thumbs-aloftness. Mind you, she looks happy, bless ‘er. Probably came as a relief she didn’t have to dress up as a Waffen SS storm-trooper to get hers this time, as she is forced to do because of Phil’s nasty proclivities and peccadilloes. But lets not talk about that.
ForTheTurnstiles: Pics plz.
ShortShadey: It’s a Hoffa-wannabe hairdo…For the bitters.
HeatherLynn: Agreed. As a native Virginian and big supporter of Warner and Kaine and Webb I would love to see him as the VP candidate. He could deliver Virginia and I think that would be the wall that needs to come down to the south.
Fear, ignorance, bigotry and poverty as a platform for the South can only last so long for the Republicans.
Political_Muse: B-B-But McCain didn’t get 17,000,000 votes in the Primary. If Barry chooses him over Clinton, that’s it!!!
fistedbymollyringwald: Are his hips wider than his shoulders?
RuperttheBear: Poorly tailored suit. AKA Juan McCain syndrome.
RuperttheBear: Yes, but Debrett’s Guide to the Modern Political Wonk states that wider hips are good in a Vice President, as it gives the Commander in Chief something to hold onto as he butt****’s him into submission. We all know how Obama gets when his waffles are late coming.
(whistful sigh as I remember the summer as a Chicago waffle waitress)