Wonkette
Oh, here’s John McCain in his yard, in Arizona, where he is personally pumping six gallons of crude per day to end our Dangerous Dependence on Arabs and Venezuelans. But it’s hard work, out in the sun, which is why McCain also spent the day shilling for one of his other corporate interests, Big Dermatology.
As we’ve breathlessly reported all day, McCain had some more (potential) cancer carved off his head today, and so he wanted to take this opportunity to tell the 47 million Americans without any health insurance that they should quickly make an appointment with their dermatologist to make sure they don’t have the skin cancer.
Cindy then climbed out of the oil well (she dropped some pills) and told uninsured Americans that if they had trouble finding a local dermatologist, they should just fly their private jet to Arizona, where Big Dermatology is well represented.
AP News [YouTube]
Hopefully those cancers on his face were caught early and didn’t spread to his brain and he won’t have to share a bed next to Robert Novak.
End of the lecture from the American Dermatology Association, beginning of the lecture about how diners are too noisy and the soup is too cold.
Where’s Cindy’s promo for the Plastic Surgeons of America? That’s some easy money!
Clearly the baseball cap is not providing adequate coverage from the sun. May I suggest a Scarlett O’Hara style bonnet?
Particularly this summer? What does he know that we don’t? …
Barry, watch out in Hawaii!
Dermatologists would be up shit creek without coal tar extract, my friends.
“And if Barack Osama had had his way, this oil well behind me would be on fire and we’d all have melanoma because solar power causes skin cancer! Thank you for coming.”
Is he plagiarizing the 1999 hit Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann?
That little chunk carved from his face..HEADLINE! McCain loses face!
“And unlike my opponent, I’d rather lose my face than win against cancer.”
McCain’s three-point plan for preventing melanoma:
*Wear sunscreen
*Stay out of the sun
*Wear sunscreen
but burn lots of through oil, because it will reduce the sun’s harmful effects.
In the history of the western world, has any man successfully pulled off the ballcap and sport jacket combo? No, no, no! It is 100% dipshitty. He’d scarcely look more old-mannish and semiretarded if he were sporting a fedora or a panama hat, and at least those would cast some shade on his cancerous hide. Hell, he could go extra retro and toss on a straw boater–it would go better with the no-tie look. Or pander to the his servants with a big-ass sombrero. Anything but a ballcap, or a pith helmet.
edgydrifter: Actually he’s just a captain’s hat and some gold piping away from being Commodore L. Ron Hubbard.
SayItWithWookies: That is just friggin’ spot-on scary. Xenu for VP!
And just today, the NYT has a big story on those fat-cat dermatologists setting up a two-tiered system: one for plutocrat cosmetic patients, and one for the regular bitter old poorz who have ugly-person diseases like acne, rosacea and second-degree burns. Coincidence?
Is it too much to ask that it was the cheek pouch that got removed?
I think he should just slather his head each day with crude oil, and wear a burkha.
Christ, he’s turning into Cotton Ed Smith!(having fun googling)
His wife looks like a ROBOT!!! SHe has to be sharing Dermos with Joan Rivers and Jocelyn Wilderstein. Homegirl’s face looks like it’s on viagara!
Larry Fine: Republicans groom each other like chimps, so, yes, I’m betting Novak ate a cancer booger from McCain’s forehead.
He indicated his right cheek. Maybe that dermatologist should take a look at that huge growth on his left.
“preventable occurrence”?????
wtf.
I thought his interests were big-tits Corporate lobbyists?
Don’t worry about the fact that you can’t afford to go to the dermatologist and after your house is foreclosed you can’t get out of the sun anymore.
Hear ye, hear ye. Ye medic unto the Republicaine publick-man Senatour John McCaine hath today espied a minor canker on ye visage of said candidate. Quoth thy cheer-full victime, “I urgeth ev’ry personage to take the council of thine face-apothecary, lest thy face fall, and thou mayest be obliged to use thine other face.”
One jestes.
(c) “Talk of Ye Town”, The Nouwe Yorkor, 1722
WadISay: Followed by step five, “profit”.
Methinks Barry should’ve stayed out of the sun when he was younger too. Look how dark he got!
FunkyPalmettoBug: I DID have fun googling! Thank you for the reference. I found this fun little quote that Cotton Ed made on the Senate floor with regards to the 19th Amendment:
Here is exactly the identical same amendment applied to the other half of the Negro race. The southern man who votes for the Susan B. Anthony Amendment votes to ratify the Fifteenth Amendment.
Wheeee!
Why does Barack Obama let John McCain get melanoma?
FunkyPalmettoBug:
Ah, the granddaddy of Jesse Helms!
oh yeah, NORMAL Americans all have dermatologists, unlike these elitist skin cancer victims
Dermatologists don’t do routine biopsies.
The depressing thing is that is actually John McCain’s backyard.
I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE. I DRINK IT UP!
El Bombastico:
Yup, the NYT exposed dermatologists’ hatred for those damn melanoma patients.
NOOOOO!!! You could almost hear them cry in unison.
McCain: “How come it’s open season on my skin, but you cunts have a heart attack whenever someone says anything about Obama’s skin?”
Unfortunately for us, McInsane’s ideal personal environment is a nuclear winter.
How old was his mother when she had him? Was she up in the years or does he prefer a “change-of-life-baby” wardrobe?
Highly recommended! SUSAN B. ANTHONY AMENDMENT
(full video)