GAY WINGNUT FANTASIES  2:11 pm July 25, 2008

George W. Bush Is Exactly Like Batman

by Ken Layne

Have you seen the new movie about The Batman? If so, you know what everybody is talking about: How dead Heath Ledger is super awesome as the crazy-ass Joker terrorist. How the idiot George W. Bush is exactly like the heroic Englishman, The Batman. “There seems to me no question that the Batman film The Dark Knight, currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war,” writes some dingbat on the Wall Street Journal op-ed page today. Yep, no question at all. [Wall Street Journal]

 

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{ 81 comments }

Mumble Softly July 25, 2008 at 2:14 pm

Just cancelled my WSJ.COM subscriptions. That’s another $81 per year that will go into the gas tank of my 10 cylinder Ford Excursion with Truck Nuts GO USA!!

NoWireHangers July 25, 2008 at 2:15 pm

“…is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war”

Yes, but exactly the opposite.

ManchuCandidate July 25, 2008 at 2:15 pm

I thought the Frank Miller 300 was “the paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been BLAH BLAH W BLAH BLAH BLAH war.”

Larry McAwful July 25, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Neither George W. Bush nor the Batman had emotionally available parents, and both were from obscenely rich families and both were raised by the family servants.

Elitist Republican Tard July 25, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Yea, I’d beat the shit out of Barbara Bush, too.

LittlePig July 25, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Jeff Gannon got a job at the Journal?

Larry McAwful July 25, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=44358]Mumble Softly[/re]: I canceled my Wall Street Journal subscription in 2002, right after they ran that stupid editorial saying that poor people were “lucky duckies” because they didn’t have to pay as much income tax. I guess dead people are even luckier duckies, then.

They kept calling me for years to restart my subscription, figuring I would because I worked for a stock brokerage, and they knew it. But every time they called, I got to explain to them again why I canceled. I’m a little sad that they finally gave up. I liked explaining it to them.

LittlePig July 25, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Wherefor art my avatar?

EnBuenOra July 25, 2008 at 2:20 pm

…”at some level”.

There exists some level under each and every other level, such that an infinite regression is possible.

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:20 pm

No, this goes to far. George Bush in his wildest, most perverted dreams would not be close to Batman. Batman (as played by Bale) is smart, articulate, smoothe, and, ahem, quite hot. Further, his whole world is driven by shades of grey, and the choices one makes. Bush does not realize grey is a color, and he doesn’t make choices. He just knows what God tells him on his special God phone. Or whatever. Plus, Batman has sickly cool stuff, including the Batmobile (which I know has special BatTruckNutz on it, you just couldn’t see them in the movie) George Bush has brush cutting tools.

So there. Not that I feel strongly about Batman or anything.

grundle burrito July 25, 2008 at 2:22 pm

That analogy fucking rocks. Give us more.

Noodle Salad July 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

I remember when Batman told everyone to go shopping and to fly more to fight the joker. Also, when he gave up golf for a few weeks. That was so brave to do, in this time of terror and war.

Sussemilch July 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

He’s exactly like Batman. Especially that time he flew his stealth jet to Tora Bora and punched bin Ladin in the face. That was awesome.

So, which one is Harvey Dent?

PoliticalGraffiti July 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=44373]Doglessliberal[/re]: Christian Bale was a terrible Batman. Everyone knows that the best actor for the job was Michael Keaton…wait, that IS just like George W. Bush and the presidency!

Mumble Softly July 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=44367]Larry McAwful[/re]: It was a pretty good paper until Rupert Murdoch bought the whole thing. Now it reads more and more like its being written by Fox news interns.

What I wonder is why stop at comparing Bush to batman? Why not compare him to George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Jesus, Ghandi, and the lawd almighty. Doesnt it say that God created man in his own image? There you go — George Bush is like God.

WhatTheHeck July 25, 2008 at 2:25 pm

You can now expect crap like this from the WSJ due to its new owner.

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:26 pm

and did this moron even see the movie? The point was the good guys cannot be the ones who break the laws, because they then undermine the basis of society. Batman is the outlaw, so he can. Jesus, so he is either an idiot who didn’t get it or an idiot who did, and who thinks trampling on laws and rights is A-OK if you are George The Great.

Really, I am just pissed because I am a geek about Batman.

WhatTheHeck July 25, 2008 at 2:27 pm

[re=44383]Mumble Softly[/re]:
We were thinking the same thing except you go there first.

AfghanVet July 25, 2008 at 2:27 pm

This is similar to when they compare the “War on Terror” to WWII. If “W” had been in charge of the US when we declared war he would have invaded Brazil because there were Nazis there.

Oh, and Batman gets the Joker; where the fuck is Osama Bin Laden?

This guy is the very definition of an assclown.

columnv July 25, 2008 at 2:28 pm

The logic is brilliant: leftists think things are relative and complex and thus can’t make decisions, conservatives (and Batman) know that things are easy, especially morality: sometimes you have to totally kick ass and kill lots of people to show them that you know what is right.

Don’t you idiots see??? It’s not complicated at all! As all of our anti-heros have shown us (Jack Bauer, Dr. House, Batman, Dick Cheney, *insert Repub caught in gay tryst*), sometimes you have to do what’s wrong in order to be right. Especially the guys who took one up the butt to show those homo-terrorists how right it was to be straight.

freakishlystrong July 25, 2008 at 2:28 pm

How about the Asshat in Chief would more closely resemble that gayest Batman pic eva, (love it!)
and the “writer” of that claptrap should be sterilized…

4everjung July 25, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Yes, and the film Hellboy II: The Golden Army is clearly a paean of praise to the ruthlessness of Walnuts. Space Chimp is a paean of praise to . . . oh, never mind.

Larry McAwful July 25, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=44383]Mumble Softly[/re]: Sure, I can see those comparisons. Here we go:

George W. Bush is like George Washington because neither of them were elected by the popular vote.

George W. Bush is like Thomas Jefferson because neither of them had much of a handle on finances.

George W. Bush is like Jesus Christ because neither of them served in their country’s military.

George W. Bush is like Mahatma Gandhi because both believed in passive resistance (though Bush only believed in passive resistance toward the spending bills he signed that his own party placed on his desk.)

George W. Bush is like God Almighty because God can see and hear everything you’re doing, while Bush is working on it with FISA legislation.

irisheyes July 25, 2008 at 2:31 pm

Wow. I thought it was more of that satire i’ve heard is coming back into fashion. But no, this dickhead actually believes what he’s writing. Holy Shit, I think I’ll start Happy Hour a little early today…

columnv July 25, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=44392]freakishlystrong[/re]: I like how dainty b-man’s wrist is.

Scarab July 25, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Just like Bush, Batman’s fortitude and moral courage is pure fiction.

EnBuenOra July 25, 2008 at 2:33 pm

This reminds me of the Michael Moore directed Batman movie, in which when Robin tells Batman that the Joker is destroying buildings around Gotham, Batman just stares blankly into the distance for 7 minutes holding “The Pet Bat” and then runs and gets on the Batplane and hides out for several days.

mookworthjwilson July 25, 2008 at 2:33 pm

I am pretty sure Batman never choked on a pretzel.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 25, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Left and right, all Americans know that freedom is better than slavery, that love is better than hate, kindness better than cruelty, tolerance better than bigotry.

What the fuck do conservatives know about tolerance? I’m really tempted to go into a diatribe about how tolerance really is merely another form of bigotry, and that acceptance is what is better, and how conservatives, like those bashing mcdonalds, show none of it, but i’m going to resist.

The stories for “300, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Spiderman 3 and now The Dark Knight” existed a long time before Dubya, and will persist a long time afterwards, because they are myths. The war on terror is not a myth.

Baconcat July 25, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Christian Bale beats his mom like a Welshman, not an Englishman. CYMRU! *SLAP*

freakishlystrong July 25, 2008 at 2:39 pm

And do these idiotic, delusional repugs honestly think that Dumya’s legacy
will ever be represented by anything other than a dirty diaper?

Mumble Softly July 25, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Witness the law of unintended consequences:
Osama Bin Laden never hoped in his wildest dreams that blowing up two skyscrapers and killing 3000 innocent civilians would lead to the biggest ass fuckery of this great nation by its own government. Or maybe he did, which would make him an evil genius like the Joker.

ps. I apologize to anyone whom I may have offended by using the reference to 9-11, which was a tragic and terrible day for the whole world. Then again John “Angry Dwarf” McCain, Rudy G, Dick Cheney, and Drinky McDumbass have repeatedly used that tragic even for their own personal and political gain which is probably a tad worse.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Spence July 25, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=44410]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: The war on terror is not a myth.
Um, yes. Yes it is.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 25, 2008 at 2:41 pm

[re=44373]Doglessliberal[/re]: [re=44386]Doglessliberal[/re]: *nods vigorously at everything you say*

Plus, Batman, especially in the Dark Knight series is gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygayGAY.

Hooray For Anything July 25, 2008 at 2:43 pm

[re=44386]Doglessliberal[/re]: Yeah, like one of the theme’s of the movie is that the ends do not justify the means and that giving up one’s morals to fight terrorism turns you into a villain with a horrible, horrible skin problem. Or that harsh interrogation gets people blown up. Or that eavesdropping on people’s phone calls is kinda wrong. Or pretty much the entire movie.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 25, 2008 at 2:45 pm

[re=44427]Spence[/re]: Good point, I had forgotten in my moment of anger. I retract my previous statement. In fact, the war on terror is like every movie ever, combined!

Johnetic July 25, 2008 at 2:45 pm

I actually thought of W when the Joker said, “Do I look like a guy with a plan?”

That seems closer to reality than W. Although, I also thought of W when Batman started eavesdropping on everyone with their cell phones.

The Real JR Revisted July 25, 2008 at 2:45 pm

omg the bats is so hawt.

superfecta July 25, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=44415]Baconcat[/re]: Yeah, but he was born in Pembrokeshire, and everyone there is really English. I used to live in the scary part of rural Wales and was regularly subjected to the Free Wales Army, which is a wildly entertaining organization. They can probably totally see the Bush=Batman thing since they weren’t so hot on the critical thinking skills. I mean, these are people who willingly watched Pobol y Cwm.

Redhead July 25, 2008 at 2:48 pm

[re=44386]Doglessliberal[/re]: You REALLY expect dubya to understand something like the grey areas of morality… or hell, the plot of a movie period?

That was your first mistake.

And yeah, why not compare Bush to Batman? Let’s see.
Well, both their names start with the letter “B.” They both live in pretty expensive homes. They both go through a period of having nearly 0% approval rating (Batman when the general public wants him to turn himself in to avoid certain plot-spoiling events, Dubya for… well pretty much forever). Bush has Airforce One; Batman has the Batmobile. Bush has daughters, brothers, nieces and other family members often laughed at for their assorted substance abuse problems… umm okay I think we found the end of the comparisons. But there are SOME! I mean both their names start with “B,” that should count for something!

4tehlulz July 25, 2008 at 2:48 pm

So according to the WSJ Bruce Wayne gives up golf in this movie.

WHAT A TWIST!

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=44428]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: If he is gay, then I would turn male for some of that. And yes, my husband has noted that if there ever is a time when I might be in close proximity to Christian Bale, he will prevent it.

So I guess in that he is like Bush, because if I were near Bush, I might do something I’d regret, like projectile vomit all over him, and my husband probably would want to prevent that, as well.

madirishman July 25, 2008 at 2:51 pm

[re=44363]Larry McAwful[/re]: Ummm…Batman’s parents were killed right in front of him, in a botched mugging, when he was 7 years old. So they were PHYSICALLY unavailable. But all the other stuff pretty well matches up.

No, the real difference between Dubya and Batman is…Batman takes responsibility for his actions.

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:51 pm

[re=44433]Hooray For Anything[/re]: and when is the last time Bush agonized over anything, let alone a moral decision?

Plus, Laura is not as hot as Maggie Gylenwhatever.

V572625694 July 25, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Hope someone has the smarts to ask the writer or director of this silly movie whether they intended to give President Chimpy a cinematic hummer.

FMA July 25, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=44389]AfghanVet[/re]: One correction: He would have invaded Paraguay because there were Nazis in Brazil.

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:56 pm

[re=44468]V572625694[/re]: Christpher Nolan? He is a Brit and no fan of Bush (also the director of Memento, which is up there in my all-time bests)

Kingbee July 25, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Bush is “bats”? Yes

Has anyone noticed that the graphic of Batman does not include the regulation bat outfit? Is this the Gotham Village People version?

AfghanVet July 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm

[re=44475]FMA[/re]: Winner!

AngryBlakGuy July 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm

…I think Dick Cheney is more like Batman if anything, they both lurk around in dark dank caves.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm

I haven’t seen the new movie yet, but if it consist of The Batman pissing on the Constitution for 2 1/2 hours, I can see the <Journal’s point.

Or does the movie start with a spectatular attack by the Joker, and then The Batman spends the rest of the movie fighting Dr. Dugong?

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm

[re=44478]Kingbee[/re]: exactly what I was thinking! That is like the image from the gay porn version of the comic book.

FMA July 25, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Next week: Dick Cheney is exactly like The Penguin.

Doglessliberal July 25, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=44485]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: You have to see it–a lot of good stuff. Ledger is really amazing, too.

itgetter July 25, 2008 at 3:04 pm
nietzscheprojectile July 25, 2008 at 3:07 pm

That Batman picture makes me want to dance. It makes me want to swing my hips, flap my wrists. Running and jumping in place, Ole!

Bush? Not so much.

Larry McAwful July 25, 2008 at 3:13 pm

I’ve racked my brain trying to fit together a parody of the Bush administration as the Batman cast, and I just can’t do it. Bush would logically be the Batman, since he’s nominally the guy in charge, but the fact is he’s not in charge; he’s too much of a sidekick.

I do see Karl Rove as the Joker, though. Donald Rumsfeld as the Riddler. Dick Cheney as Brainiac. And George W. Bush as the ignorant layabout son of Lex Luthor who took over the family business after his dad died.

AfghanVet July 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Dr. Spaceman July 25, 2008 at 3:17 pm

Two points from a casual batman fan:

1. Batman doesn’t kill people.

2. Nobody wants to grow up and be Bush.

btwbfdimho July 25, 2008 at 3:20 pm

Batman is not W., but Robin reminds me of Ben Johnson.

S.Luggo July 25, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Left and right, all Americans know that freedom is better than slavery, that love is better than hate, that buttsecks is better than love, that squeezed is better than concentrate, that powdered is better than rock, that live happy kittens are better than dead smelly ones, that Godzilla is better than Mothra, and that running over an old homeless dude is better than missing him.

Seek July 25, 2008 at 3:33 pm

[re=44409]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Yet, that’s the big dramatic moment in the next film. Shhhhh don’t tell anyone I told you.

RuperttheBear July 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm

This is just like Wimp Lo in the movie “Kung Pao.” They train him to think winning is losing, with stupidly hilarious consequences.

Wimp lo: “How do you like my nuts to your fist style?”

Etc.

So, yea, Batman is just like GWB, except not at all in any way.

Mista Eko July 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm

Hey everyone! Have you seen the new Batman movie? It has a terrifying villain called the Joker! Also, Batman is exactly like George W. Bush, because he never shows his face in public anymore!

/JFruh’d

RuperttheBear July 25, 2008 at 3:55 pm

[re=44443]Johnetic[/re]: Batman doesn’t eavesdrop. He let’s Lucius, who is skeptical and reluctant, do it and also gives him the power to destroy the machine.

snig July 25, 2008 at 3:55 pm

I missed the Batman comic where there was a war on crime and people were dying, and all the other superheroes were dying, and Batman asked his Dad to intervene and get him a job flying fighter jets away from the fighting, and then he didn’t even show up for that job. But Batman did volunteer on someone’s senate campaign. Also, Bruce Wayne would have had to run Wayne industries into the ground. Twice.

You could also rewrite the WSJ piece:There seems to me no question that the Batman film “The Dark Knight,” currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by Saddam Hussein in his time of terror and war. Like Saddam, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like Saddam, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past…

Goes2Eleven July 25, 2008 at 4:21 pm

43 is more like Manbat: Batman’s monstrous twin who would have shown up in an adventure somewhere as a “dark sider” but kept F-in’ up the plot with his crazy, oily, ego driven wars and insane double speak. Manbat’s sidekick, LawBlaster, was simply far too evil for the youth of ‘merica.

Dr. Spaceman July 25, 2008 at 4:26 pm

[re=44633]snig[/re]: …both have a cave they hole up in.

Hooray For Anything July 25, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=44633]snig[/re]: You forgot the part where Bruce Wayne doesn’t become Batman til he’s 40 because he spent most of his time being a drunk and horking coke. And then how Bruce Wayne was actually in competition with a much smarter, more experienced candidate to become Batman and even though he lost the vote, became Batman because a court ruled that he should be. Which, I guess means that in the sequel, Batman totally screws everything up and the guy who lost the Batman competition becomes Ozone Man and saves the world.

jagorev July 25, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Wow, just… wow.

Godot July 25, 2008 at 5:17 pm

[re=44380]Sussemilch[/re]: “Both Ways” Barack = Harvey “Two-Face”?

catsonmars July 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

This charming “editorial” is by Andrew Klavan, whose new “novel” is a hodgepodge of right-wing conspiracy theories about a biased leftist media cabal and a holy war with Islam. So in other words, his talent lies in producing fiction he thinks is true.

Joey Ratz July 25, 2008 at 7:25 pm

[re=44527]Dr. Spaceman[/re]: That’s so true. I’d think more kids want to grow up to be Dr. Dugong.

Man, that name still cracks me up. Kudos to Lionel Hutz, Esq.!

Mahousu July 25, 2008 at 7:53 pm

[re=44867]catsonmars[/re]: Personally, I think of the WSJ editorial writers as my surrogate dysfunctional family. Peggy Noonan is the mother I never had – I have a mother, mind you; it’s just she’s never been anything like Peggy Noonan. Paul Gigot is the cruel father figure I chafe under, while I plot how to escape his domineering ways. Andrew Klavan is the uncle who shows up periodically, gets drunk and starts spewing bizarre sentimental nonsense, while we all sit around with pained smiles and nod silently, waiting for him to collapse unconscious on the floor.

All of the others are, uh, the weird cousins from Tennessee whose names I can never remember.

melving July 25, 2008 at 9:13 pm

This Klavan guy was on Glenn Beck’s teevee show the other day. I couldn’t decide who was the bigger asshole.

Weebot July 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm

[re=44492]FMA[/re]: The Penguin wouldn’t stoop to something so crass as shooting someone in the face with a shotgun.

font9a July 26, 2008 at 1:26 am

Robin != Condi

alas, Condi’s shoes are better.

moviechick July 26, 2008 at 2:18 am

Nah.. all the characters in The Dark Knight was WAY too intelligent to be compared to Bush. It would even be insulting to compare him to Joker (insulting to Joker that is). At least the Joker knew how to get crap done. There’s not a single character in Batman, good or bad, that’s described as a bumbling moron.

trai_dep July 27, 2008 at 3:40 am

So… George W Bush likes slipping orphaned boys his salami?
Stop the presses!

Sabre_Justice July 27, 2008 at 5:05 am

Okay, that article officially killed my brain cells.

Johnetic July 28, 2008 at 10:40 am

[re=44630]RuperttheBear[/re]: Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures – sure, I get it, but still, it would have been better if the machined had never been used at all. Justifying the intrusion because someone does it reluctantly and then never does it again is hardly justification. it’s a good think that Batman is a vigilante, and can therefore get away with such things. or is that a rebel, like W?

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