THE FICKLE FINGER OF FATE  11:31 am July 25, 2008

Obama Donors Won’t Bail Clinton Out

by Sara K. Smith

Used to be you could raise a dollar in this townAfter all Hillary Clinton did for Barack Obama this primary season, you’d think his donors would show her a little more gratitude. She “made him a better candidate,” after all, by constantly reminding the world that he was a black Muslim elitist with a shitty, shitty bowling score and no plan for universal healthcare. But Obama’s most generous supporters have basically given her zero dollars to help retire her campaign debt, because these people are as stingy as Barack Obama himself.

Former high-dollar Clinton supporters, on the other hand, overflowed with largesse in the month after their girl lost, donating $1.6 million to the presumptive nominee’s campaign fund. That’s in addition to the $1.53 million they donated to the Obama Victory Fund, which has a higher contribution limit than the regular $2300 per individual. Yipers, it is boring having to actually explain this crap.

Basically, all of the rich power-brokers who were trying to buy influence in the Clinton White House are now trying to buy influence in the Obama White House, and nobody cares about Hillary Clinton because she isn’t running anymore.

(The end.)

Clinton donors give big to Obama, but not the other way ’round [Top of the Ticket]

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SuperRounder July 25, 2008 at 11:35 am

Terry MacAuliffe is putting together a “Heat” style heist as we speak.

Seriously though, none of this will matter once Hillz is done eliminating the competition to be VP.

Larry McAwful July 25, 2008 at 11:37 am

I’m a better bowler than Barack Obama. I bowled something like 150 once. It was in my native western Pennsylvania, too, where everyone bowls, drinks beer and loves polka music.

Icky July 25, 2008 at 11:37 am

I’m sure Bill could go do some more stripteases for third world despots with Frank Giustra to pay the bills. Maybe he could even incorporate the ping pong ball trick into his next trip. I give him two whore diamonds.

Tawmn July 25, 2008 at 11:39 am

Sistahs are doing it for themselves.

RuperttheBear July 25, 2008 at 11:39 am

So, in politics dollars only go where they have a chance of creating influence? Which is different than everyday life, where they go to VEGAS! Those dancing girls have no tops on, tee hee!

BillyClubb July 25, 2008 at 11:41 am

Hillary wants gratitude? She’s already been SHOWN THE DOOR, what more does she want?

tunamelt July 25, 2008 at 11:42 am

[re=44074]RuperttheBear[/re]: God bless America.

Cape Clod July 25, 2008 at 11:44 am

Sorry, who is this woman ‘Hillary’ again?

Cicada July 25, 2008 at 11:46 am

I never thought I’d say this, but Clinton could stand to take some pointers from Mittens, the OTHER millionaire who ended up with a big debt after a failed primary run. She could *ahem* suck it up and take the hit. She’d still have the rest of her millions to keep a roof over her head and food on the table.

Texan Bulldoggette July 25, 2008 at 11:52 am

[re=44079]Cicada[/re]: Yes but Mittens will be hailed as the most altruistic GOPer that ever lived & will be rewarded with the Veep spot and/or crowned the 2012 nominee for his investment….errr selflessness. HRC, on the other hand, will not be given the Veep & most Dems (me!) wouldn’t give her a glass of water if she was on fire much less money. It’s a pity her bitter, angry post-menopausal women fans are probably too busy trying to fill up their gas tanks to give her money.

Hart88 July 25, 2008 at 11:53 am

What? Agent Flowbee and his gang of Bitters haven’t retired Hill’s debt yet?

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 25, 2008 at 11:53 am

Boo. Bad Photoshopping job done on the Hilz/Barry pic (and not just because Hilz looks like she’s ready to sprout fangs and gnaw off Barry’s head). But otherwise, um, who’s the presumptive nominee and who has the Scarlet L tattooed on her pantsuited ass? Please.

freakishlystrong July 25, 2008 at 11:54 am

Maybe if she hadn’t been such a grasping, shrill gorgon, (pantsuited), and had actually left
the race with grace, she wouldn’t have incurred all that debt? I’m just sayin’ is all….

PoliticalGraffiti July 25, 2008 at 11:56 am

[re=44090]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: please do not put the image of Hillary’s tattooed ass in my mind

ManchuCandidate July 25, 2008 at 11:56 am

Bitters, can you spare a dime?

V572625694 July 25, 2008 at 11:57 am

You’d think all those ceiling cracks would be more than happy to replenish Hilz’ coffers with some of the bucks they earn by working hard.

WhatTheHeck July 25, 2008 at 11:58 am

She owes money to herself. She could declare bankruptcy and negotiate a payment schedule to herself.
I guess her die-hard bitters don’t want to fork over any more cash. They loved her only so much.

BobLoblawLawBlog July 25, 2008 at 12:01 pm

I started a discussion I’m still hoping to turn into a petition about this over on Facebook, since I seriously find the notion that he is supposed to help a multimillionaire out of debt ridiculous. No wait, it’s obscene. Were it ridiculous, it might only make me laugh, rather than wish for swift judgment to be executed on her pantsuit-clad behind.

Anyway, discuss, if you like: What About My Debt, Hopey?

tunamelt July 25, 2008 at 12:08 pm

[re=44101]WhatTheHeck[/re]: That just sounds insane. Does she have to send the bill collectors after herself? Where would she hide—by breaking all of the mirrors in her house?

PoliticalGraffiti July 25, 2008 at 12:09 pm

[re=44110]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: i just watched that arrested development episode. excellent reference

Seek July 25, 2008 at 12:13 pm

[re=44091]freakishlystrong[/re]: Exactly! It was obvious by mid-March that she couldn’t win. If she was so self-deluded to waste her own money on a loss then ehhhh I’m not so very much interested in helping her out. Stupidity is its own reward.

AngryBlakGuy July 25, 2008 at 12:20 pm

…what a bum! Why doesn’t she just raise money the way other famous people do and simply release a sex tape?! Lunch Time!!!

magic titty July 25, 2008 at 12:20 pm

i’m getting tired of disadvantaged white people constantly looking for handouts…

Servo July 25, 2008 at 12:21 pm

[re=44077]Cape Clod[/re]:
Yellow pant suits…clap-clap…squawk-squawk…pees standing up. Does that help?

Sabre_Justice July 25, 2008 at 12:25 pm

…why did I read this as ‘Organ Donors Won’t Bail Obama Out’?

That’s it, I’m going to bed.

magic titty July 25, 2008 at 12:29 pm

[re=44157]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Because all of her sex tapes are of Bill banging Bitters and strippers.

sati demise July 25, 2008 at 12:31 pm

I am still mad about Hillarys ” McCain has Commander in Chief credentials” statement.

Let the McCain supporters bail her out, fer cris’ sake!

What an idiot.

gurukalehuru July 25, 2008 at 12:32 pm

So, Clinton donors have given 3.1 million to Barack Obama, they’re expecting us to cough up $20 million, and THEY’RE the generous ones??

bhosp July 25, 2008 at 12:34 pm

I never get tired of watching bad things happen to Hillrod.

AxmxZ July 25, 2008 at 12:36 pm

[re=44169]Sabre_Justice[/re]: I sincerely hope there never comes a time when organ donors will have to bail Barry out. x_x

Sussemilch July 25, 2008 at 12:39 pm

In a surprising turn of events, Hillary Clinton’s campaign declares bankruptcy, and at the convention she does in fact turn superdelegates in her favor, giving her the majority, except that a judge declares that the campaign’s assets are given to her lender as compensation for the debt, and as a result of an 11th hour portfolio sale and a whimsical court decision, Obama ends up with fewer delegates than the United Arab Emirates National Bank, and Dick Cheney is awarded proxy candidacy.

Cape Clod July 25, 2008 at 12:47 pm

[re=44161]Servo[/re]: Oh. I’m sorry. I saw her on tv once with the sound turn down and I thought it was just Ellen DeGeneres interviewing her mom.

Anonymous Office Zombie July 25, 2008 at 12:49 pm

Gee that’s odd. You’d think that The-Sorority-of-Women-Who-Are-All-Sisters-Strugging-Against-the-Evil-Patriarchal-Empire, would all just be rushing to the aid of the chosen one.

Outstando July 25, 2008 at 1:17 pm

I called at 3 a.m. with my credit card ready, but no answer.

Maybe those small town values voters can have a bake sale after a lynch mob some night.

Godot July 25, 2008 at 1:26 pm

It’s just like when you fall behind on your credit card payments because hey, you’ve already GOT all that stuff, and you’re probably tired of all of it too, so it’s hard to keep paying for it.

bitchincamaro July 25, 2008 at 1:29 pm

I just farted in her general direction. That’s all I gotz.

lawrenceofthedesert July 25, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Is that a cell from the famous W.C. Fields cartoon, “The Bank Duck”?

madirishman July 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm

So Lady Macbeth spent more money than she raised, and she wants the people who DIDN’T vote for her to bail her out?

Who the hell does she think she is…the federal government?

Talk about a sense of entitlement!

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