Wonkette
Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s still legitimate to mock and deride? Why, political cartoons, of course! Join in the hate, after the jump.
Hey, everyone, have you heard of the Batman movie? It is a very popular movie that is in the theaters right now, and it has a scary villain called the Joker! This villain is exactly like Al Gore, because Al Gore is an evil, psychotic clown who wants to kill us all. Also, Al Gore died of an accidental overdose of prescription medication earlier this year, and everyone was very sad.
Hey, everyone, have you heard of Salvador Dali’s “Persistence Of Memory”? It portrays melting clocks in a surrealistic hellscape! This painting is exactly like Iraq, because just like the clocks in the painting, the time for our withdrawal bends according to the whim of some unseen God! And those melty clocks make for excellent blankets. Sleep soundly, Mr. President! Soundly and surreally!
Hey, everyone, have you heard of the Batman movie? It is a very popular movie that is in the theaters right now, and it has a scary villain called the Joker! This villain is exactly like John McCain, because John McCain is an evil, psychotic clown who wants to kill us all. Also, he was in a funny movie about jousting that had rock and roll music in it! John McCain was actually a semi-professional jouster when he was in the Naval Academy, in medieval France.
Hey, everyone, have you heard of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie? It was a very popular movie, several years ago! It features a number of easily recognizable movie stars that are apparently far too much trouble to draw when you could just draw a boat and write “Refugee Smuggling” across the side. The Pirates of the Caribbean movie was exactly like refugee smuggling, in that both are very lucrative but are probably a crime against humanity.
Hey, everyone, have you heard of the Batman movie? It is a very popular movie that is in the theaters right now, and it has a scary villain called the Joker! This villain is exactly like Joe Lieberman, because Joe Lieberman is an evil, psychotic clown who wants to kill us all. Also, Joe Lieberman had buttsex with Jake Gyllenhaal once, but it was all arty and tasteful and ultimately very sad.
Hey, everyone, have you heard about the Jeopardy? It is a very popular game show where your Comics Curmudgeon could have won some money, except that he blew a “World Leaders” Final Jeopardy clue and said Alexander Dubcek when he should have said Golda Meir. These two people are not the same person, it turns out! He was kicked out of the International Jewish Conspiracy in disgrace and forced to give up his silly French clip art to John McCain, the end.
(Pic courtesy of yellojkt!)
Hey, everyone, have you heard of Reganomics, Bush’s tax cuts for the wealthy, or Phil Gramm’s claim that we’re all a nation of whiners?
Funny, oh so funny…
Don’t feel bad. I didn’t even make it past the first round of auditions.
At least you didn’t go for the “Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?” Cliff Clavin thing.
I always thought Pirates of the Caribbean was a crime against humanity though.
I’m waiting for a comic rendering of “Short Circuit” with McCain gussied to up to look like #5 (a military made killing machine, of course, who lost it’s bearings and comedy ensues) with the caption of the press saying “Who’s Johnny?”
I really need to make this my second job.
Josh, when your Final Jeopardy question was on, I kept yelling “Israel, Israel, Israel” at the screen but I couldn’t come up with Golda Meir either. I felt your pain there, big guy. Great job overall.
Um, too soon? Maybe?
Hey, everyone, have you noticed how so-called “political cartoonists” happily enlist themselves in the Entertainment-Industrial-Complex hype machine to pitch a stupid, stupid movie?
Everybody knows it’s Cindy McCain who’s like that dead actor.
man, i love this weekly Wonkette article. kudos Josh
I made it past the first round of Jeopardy tryouts some years ago, but totally got my ass kicked by the second round. Kudos actually getting on the show.
I can do a better John McCain movie cartoon. Remember back when he was Luke Skywalker? Well now he can’t, like, navigate, right?, without Joe Lieberman, because he doesn’t know where countries are or know what their names are, without Lieberman there with him, so Lieberman should be like R2-D2! In the back of his X-Wing!
And Obama shoots Lieberman and he burns up! And McCain says “I’ve lost my bearings!!”
And Mitt Romney is C-3P0.
Anonymous Office Zombie: I had no idea that Jeopardy and wrestling had so much in common!
Perfect: Cheney as Violator in the movie Spawn.
http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/v/viol8r2.jpg
Real Name: Violator
Identity/Class: Demon
Occupation: Slave to Malebolgia
Affiliations: Slave to Malebolgia
Enemies: Spawn
Known Relatives: None
Aliases: Clown
Base of Operations: Hell
Powers/Abilities: Violator’s demonic form is incredibly strong, extremely fast, and armed with razor sharp fangs and claws. He is immune to most terrestrial weapons, which pass through him without doing any real injury.
History: Violator was sent to Earth by the demon Malebolgia to monitor and train his newest Spawn, Al Simmons, who had likewise just been returned from Earth from Hell. Violator took on a human appearance, looking like a short fat man wearing clown make-up, but as some mobsters learned to their cost very shortly after his arrival on this plane, he could swiftly transform back into his true shape, that of a large clawed and fanged demon.
The foul mouthed Clown proceeded to harass and taunt Simmons, feeling that he would be a better choice to lead the armies of Malebolgia than this Spawn. Finally they battled, only for Malebolgia to intervene. Blaming the Violator for causing problems, he temporarily forced his disobediant demon into his Clown form on a permanent basis. He remains a thorn in Simmons side, and losing his true appearance has not endeared this latest Spawn to him.
How come everybody is picking the Joker and not giving Harvey Dent any political cartoon love? Two Face is perfect metaphor for Hopey, McWalnuts, Billary, or any other politician that has ever flip-flopped.
And thanks for the linky-love, Josh. Time to get working on you application to be on Card Sharks
Josh, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
That, soon people will be ditching their fake Dali lithos in favor of hanging comic books up on their walls.
…if McCain is going to be a comic book character he should be the perpetually war mongering “Darksied”, and then Cindy can be “Granny Goodness”!
Nice TV, yellojkt. You’re having the Super Bowl party next year, right?
AngryBlakGuy:
Who plays Chandell and twin Harry (once played by the “straight” Liberace)?
Terry: Me too, but all I could come up with was “Isreal - that woman.” The judges would probably not have accepted that answer.
AngryBlakGuy: …oh yeah and Barry can be Atom-Man; with the ability to bend reality to his will!
There is a batman movie?
AngryBlakGuy: Why’s it gotta be Atom-ma– oh no, that doesn’t quite work.
SayItWithWookies: Follow the link, that is the big screen at PJ’s Pub in Charles Village. My HDTV isn’t quite as big.
Dubcek, Meier (a 2nd grade teacher from Milwaukee, no less — why can’t WE get politicians like that?), it’s all cool; I just catch “Jeopardy” for the music. Did I mention I’m a robot?
Carrie_Okie is an evil, psychotic clown who wants to kill us all.
That was the worst batch of cartoons ever. Is that watch a saddle on Bush’s back?
Since we’re all sharing our Jeopardy experiences, I got bipped after the 1st round once, bipped after the 2nd round twice, and then gave up. You did good.
My Mom was on the show once, back in the old Art Fleming days. She won like, I think, $60 and we got a set of encyclopedias.
And why do all these shots of the Joker make it look like he’s drooling. These politicians aren’t made to look evil, just retarded.
Though the Gore=Joker analogy is retarded, what puzzles me more is why it was made in the first place. After all, Al Gore is hardly newsworthy these days. Which newspaper carried the cartoon? My guess would be the Washington Times.