Wonkette
So of course these mouth-breathers running the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” program have a YouTube channel, how did it take us so long. Quick background for newcomers: a few Christian Fundamentalists are boycotting McDonald’s because this “restaurant” supports fags, the end. You can watch their funny one-minute trailer about Ronald McDonald molesting your children with his hamburgers, after the jump.
So… the fat ass in the wheelbarrow, right? Are we supposed to imagine that he isn’t getting someone to push him to Wendy’s or Bojangles?
McDonalds: I’m Leavin’ It! (and why you should too!) [YouTube]
I’m hating it! Oh my god you guys, do you get it? Because McDonalds’ oh-so-catchy slogan is I’m loving it, and I’m hating it is the opposite, and so it’s funny.
And I’m leaving it too! OMG awesome
I would never, EVER expose children to this. First comes teaching them what a “sodomite” is, and then they start working as a page, and the rest is fucking textbook.
However that complete fat ass is probably a depiction of what these “boycott McDonalds” people look like currently, so I think their cause might be a necessity at this point, and they just needed a self-loathing reason to stop.
…personally Im a Chick-Fil-A guy, but then again I am blakk!?!?
Well, I’m convinced. From now on I’ll never shop at McDonalds. You hear that McDonalds? Next time I need a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread I’m heading to Burger King!
Where’d they get that Gay music?
…and in all honesty the Freaky Burger King mascot is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY gayer!!!
“Jimmy, show the doctor on the dolly how the bad man with the Cheeseburger for a head touched you in your private place.”
As a sodomite activist bent on destroying the family, how can I get $20,000 from McDonalds?
I’m leaving it, because their food gives me the trots.
Ok, you mean the telebangelicals aren’t boycotting because the food sucks? This is about anti-gay shit again? Damn, that makes me almost mad enough to eat a crappy fast food heart-attack-in-a-bun.
If these assholes are so sure of the righteousness of their cause, why don’t they use their real names in the credits? How’s God supposed to reward them in heaven if they remain anonymous? And what’s the goofy cartoon bomb about?
Hello, I’m Joe Average, and I’m the coordinator of the motion picture you’ve just seen. Myself, and director Christian Brother, have come here tonight to explain our film to you.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Do you hate fat people? What if they’re Christian fat people?.
AVERAGE: No, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, we’ve made this film to explain that McDonalds hates the family and wants to see it destroyed.
ANOTHER AUDIENCE MEMBER: What if the family is a family of sodomites. Shouldn’t they be destroyed, if that family is promoting the gay?
AVERAGE: Well, perhaps yes. Next question?
YET ANOTHER AUDIENCE MEMBER: Steers are sometimes sexually inverted, after having received a government funded sex change by Cargill or other beef ranchers. In killing them, shucking them, boning and grinding these sodomite animals, is McDonald’s not doing the Lord’s work?
Im surprised they didn’t have Obama or Craig supposedly drinking a milkshake slowly and erotically in the video.
There’s a correlation with the increase of homosexuals and the growth of McDonalds franchises. Statistics don’t lie…
Oh my god. 28 seconds in…
Thank you AFA for putting the idea of gay clown porn in my brain.
I don’t like McDonald’s much, but when I did eat there, all I saw were people like the ones in the video. Somewhere Ronald McDonald is going “You think you can quit me cold turkey, biotch?”
Seeing Obama drink a milkshake slowly and erotically will just turn a bunch of ‘em gay. Er, gayer?
Wait a minute…was every word in that thing spelled right? ?? I must be losing it.
“When they are already destroying people’s health, they attack the Christian family now.”
I know these idiots hate education, but really. English classes are not the instruments of Satan.
That video is so gay.
Seriously, I hope God is more worried about the crap we put in our mouths than what we put in our butts.
AngryBlakGuy: That Burger King guy is almost as scary as the Quaker Oats guy.
McDonald’s needs to establish an anti-smear site to defend itself from this garbage.
Smear: Ronald McDonald is a sodomite.
Truth: While Ronald is open about his sexual experimentation during his years in Hamburger College, he currently is a long-term heterosexual relationship with a bird woman (who makes him breakfast every morning, wink wink).
Smear: Grimace is a sodomite.
Truth: Okay, yeah, but he’s also retarded.
I hate MacDonalds, the food is crap, and the teenage help is impossible. However, I will make a special trip out to my local Micky D’s to get a set of their vile shakes for my wife and myself. I don’t need the diarrhea, but it is important to support corporations who treat gay people like people!
I hate McDonalds, the food is crap, and the teenage help is impossible. However, I will make a special trip out to my local Micky D’s to get a set of their vile shakes for my wife and myself. I don’t need the diarrhea, but it is important to support corporations who treat gay people like people!
WagTehGod: That sounds like an Onion statshot- What are we putting in our butts?
-10% car keys
-35% poo we’re saving for later
-40% male escort’s cock
-15% boyfriend’s cock
Why are these clowns [no offense, Ronald] so anxious to do God’s work on Earth, when surely He could do it himself if this shit really got on His tits?
Is God now outsourcing to semi-retarded buffoons?
I mean, if 9/11 and Katrina were God’s wrath for homo-lesbo-humanist-secularists, how much effort would it take Him to smite a few thousands McFeces franchises?
Not only do they want a bunch of brain-dead idiots to boycott McDonald’s (which I have no problem with; aside from occasional meals there, I have been mostly avoiding that place for years) but they also want them to complain to the managers about their corporation supportin’ the sodomites.
I think being a McDonald’s manager probably sucks enough as it is, without a bunch of 300-pound American Taliban rednecks telling you off for giving money to teh gayz.
The sad thing is, your average McDonald’s manager probably has way more education than the backwoods fuckerz watching this video…
The funny part is that apparently McDonald’s sales increased during the month of July.
Looks like these guys are really making a change…
Smear: The Hamburglar is a sodomite
Truth: While the Hamburglar might look like a homosexual male, he is in fact a married man with two kids. His brother, The Ass Bandit, on the other hand….
Even false names, it’s hard to imagine anyone thinking this lame Powerpoint is worthy of closing credits. Honestly! It’s as if people put stuff on the Yewtubes without worrying about whether it looks professional or not!
Sodomite is God’s word for teh gaiz? Ok, that’s just fucking stupid.
This looks like a clear cut case of copyright infringement. Who’s the assclown now, Fundies?
And on the whole “sodomy” thing. They do realize that heteros have anal sex too, don’t they? I mean, their pastor is probably doing it right now.
They’re crying because McDonalds gave $20K to a gay organization ONCE? Hey Fundies, I hear that some companies actually EMPLOY gay people. Why, one gay person alone could make OVER $20K a year at their job for some company. Better find all the companies that employ gay people and boycott them right quick. You might go to hell if you don’t.
sezme: Everyone knows God’s name for homosexuals is Republican Congressmen.
What? Gay McDonalds will cut off your legs and make you walk around in a whellbarrow for all eternity?
Those bastards
Pay to the order of the Sodomites. Money to be used for family-destroying purposes only. LOL. Give me a break.
How did a fondness for reggae become part of their policy platform?
Jim, I would have gone with “Fat Fundie Fucks”, but then again, I’m a sucker for alliteration.
Also, on a personal note to WALNUTS!, I’d look into “McNation”.
clearly, director Christian Brother and producer Joe Average are total closeted self-hating fags!
NoWireHangers: Whoa, are you saying that their pastor is, at this moment, having straight anal sex? Is that what we’re calling hot, man on man, meth fueled, prostitution these days?
Huh. So the reason to boycott McDonald’s is not that it’s bad for your health (as they point out), but because “sodomites” (which is an English version of the name of citizens of an ancient city, certainly not any god’s word for anything) are engaged in mythical anti-family terrorism?
What an interesting agenda these folks have. And you can tell they have the courage of their convictions by the names listed in the credit roll.
sounds like its time to introduce the new McCloset Gay Christian meal…available only as take out, so you have to eat it all alone [except for the all seeing eyes of God]…….
its a whole box of ‘Chicken’ McNuggets, a pop-up doll of Ronald….one packet of ketchup flavored lube…one packet of salted tears….and the box lid has space for you to write in Your McDiary [TM]……
If they were sodomites, wouldn’t they be selling weenies? Nothing says fast food sodomy like weenie in a bun.
They lost me in the hypnotic and Jeebus-y music. So, I have to fuck that fat guy with a wheelbarrow to get my Big Mac or what? Would he even know if he were getting, you know, sodomitedized or whatever the Christian Brothers say for but secks?
If God’s so pissed about it, why doesn’t he just knock out the fucking giant?
Why can’t I quit you? Mayor McCheese, I swear….
MARCdMan: Often it’s the opposite. You’re driving down the Interstate, feel the movement coming on and go to Mickey’s cuz they got bathrooms. When you’re done with your business, your gut is empty again, so you buy some more quarter pounders and off you go.
The fundamentalists always so creative with their campaign videos. It’s like poetry written by God, scored by cherubs, and directed by angels.
Sodomy has become the preferred lingo for “homosexual” in the fundie sites, which I read so you don’t have to.
But the fundies are at war now. There is the old group of Dobson “Jimmy D” fundies, they’re the ones with no candy-date now cuz they hate McCain. Then there are the Baldwin fundies, who are the fundy-moral side of the Ron Paul movement. This group of fundies doin’ the Micky D boycott seems to be mainly the Constitution Party “Chucky B” fundies; they love RP and Chucky B, which explains their mutual orthography problem. Now if Chucky B and Jimmy D reconcile, the earth will move.
It has the peculiar merit of being irredeemably gauche.
(Said he, languishing on his chaise longue.)
Wow, they even put credits on that thing? Kinda makes you wonder what the ‘director’ of a one-minute text-only video actually does.
NoWireHangers: Not just their pastor. All of their nubile young things who took virginity pledges, too.
personally, i think they’re focusing a mistake focusing on mcdonalds and not the bigger issue.
gay aging: http://flickr.com/photos/captaintim/2613922675/
“Picket them. That will make them listen to you.”
Yes, because that always happens, every time, forever.
Once McDonald’s started serving “healthy salads” or suchlike, that was the slippery slope. I tried to tell people that this was the creeping homosexual agenda invading our lives, but no-one listened.
Salads. I hardly need to elaborate.
wheelie: At the same time, they abandoned McRib. Ya know, like Eve is missing a rib too.
The main thing is, don’t eat buffalo (aka bison) burgers, because buffaloes are homosexuals:
Bisons are homosexual mammals. Their homosexual behavior is common and is manifested through courtship between bulls. Sometimes, one can find bison bulls, mounting other bulls.
http://www.bison-steak.info/buffalo-steak/bison-articles-buffalo-articles/3/
Oooh! Here’s some cognitive dissonance. McDonald’s is safely heterosexual … in Japan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz19mF65F5k
Mahousu: Well, maybe not all that safe:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6n9JBlebFw
Mahousu: Yah, that Ronald is gayer than ever!
Darehead: Holy crap. I didn’t know that. As an ex-gay who is now salad-free, I will adapt my local anti-McDonald’s campaign to include your policy platform of bringing back the McRib, in the Name of Jesus Our Lord and Saviour, and Family Values.
I don’t get it.
So the guy in the wheelbarrow is gay, or rather a sodomite? He doesn’t look like a sodomite.
All the sodomites I’ve seen on 17th St look far more fit than that guy. Isn’t there a McDonalds on 17th? No, that’s a CVS.
But there definitely a McDonalds on 18th. I know because that’s where my roommate got ice after he broke his fist on the face of a bouncer from “Heaven and Hell”.
I haven’t seen any wheelbarrow guys come out of that McDonalds. For that matter, I don’t think I’ve seen any sodomites come out of it either. They’re usually more of a Hamburger Mary’s type of crowd.
Sodomites - that’s God’s word for homosexual. Really? So like I can speak with God, but I have to learn a new word for everything in order to do it? Hmm. Ah, fuck it - it’s not worth the effort. Carry on.
A couple of things. First, they knew it made them unhealthy but they kept eating it until it started making sodomites unhealthy? (Note: God never made a word for the gays. Sodomites refers to those who lived in Sodom who were sinful in many ways) Second what the hell does “Christians, Let’s stop this giant mocking from God” mean? It would seem that these short bussers feel that God is mocking them and that it needs to stop. Huh. That don’t make no kinda sense to me. Lastly, they call upon their toothless group: don’t “shop” there. WTF? Can I get something other that a nasty meal that will speed through my intestines in record time? Do they sell anything at McDonald’s worth purchasing. I am, in one respect, relieved. Because in the end these morans are McCain’s base, and I’m counting on them to not be able to figure out how the voting machine works. Sheesh.
warreno: Sodom was the Studio 54 of pre-history, or something, according to noted classic literature.
So, you know, good times…
Ah hurd Ronald McDonald an’ Bumburglar’s gittin’ gay-married in a godless sec’lar ceremony by Mayor McCheese. Me n’ mah Wife (WOMAN) n’ young’ns eat there 20 times a week, but din’t even git a Inviteashun! OK, we’re takin’ our food Dollar elswher that supports the Family an’ will inform our fellowshjip grupe to do the SAME!
Iggy Plop: Not “new word,” but revived old words. Begins with Genesis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodom_and_Gomorrah
irisheyes: “McCain’s base” if McCain mates with Huckabee, the only thing fundies will accept. Otherwise, likely Baldwin’s base, maybe Barr or other fringers, or stay-homers.
Tito Puente: There’s a Mickey D’s at 17th and Corcoran, across from the Safeway, and next to Prego Again. I pass it on the way to work.
Sorry, no matter how much I despise busybody fundies, I still hate McDonald’s food too much to fight them on this front. I’ll take a ass fucking before I’ll eat another Big Mac, if that will help the gheys. Although I’d prefer to make a donation.
Darehead:f
rom your pc to God’s ears
It must be asked:
Who the hell doesn’t appreciate a little sodomy?
And the Reggae music at the end: utter blasphemy.
shortsshortsshorts: I think it was King Herod who said, “Loving my maidservants equally, is even o’ me. But loving my manservants equally, now that is odd o’ me.”
NoWireHangers: Even worse than copyright infringement, it’s a trademark violation. Trademark holders are bound by law to relentlessly attack anybody who touches their property in a way that would put the RIAA to shame.
But seein’ as how this video is teh lame, they might get a sternly-worded cease and desist letter.
irisheyes: Then fire and brimstone await me. Sounds kinky!
Sadaamite Activist Group?! Don’t these burger queens know that teh gayz had nothing to do with 9/11??
And I like the kicky “names” of the film’s producers, etc., kinda like porn star names only sexier. Is there a sex video of them in a Bojangles?
Darehead: Yes but I have read in the book of “woman,” that when she says go not one will say no.
Darehead: It might be “no fool would say no,” but shit, the Pope really had me by the balls for a while… literally.
wheelie: So, Burger King’s new apple fries are evidence of which agenda? Gay environmentalist witches for abortion?
Darehead: okay- it’s late and your sense of humor might be too sophisticated for my addled brain. But I meant that I hope you’re right about these rednecks staying at home on Election day. ‘Cause I didn’t mean to imply that gayness is wrong to the Judeo Christian God. It would seem that cheeseburgers are sin incarnate, however. Shit I need to go to bed.
Boy would I love to see the managers face when the fat ass christian fuck says the word “sodomite.”
hahaha, a few hundred people (at most) saw these dumb vids.
I bet most were linked via Wonkette.
that’s viral, like bird flu is viral.
Much like anal sex, I only enjoy McDonald’s every once in a while. Thanks to this video, I am now considering combining these two seemingly disparate activities.
Me: Want McDonald’s tonight, honey?
Honey: Boy, DO I!
irisheyes: I assumed you were joking, but maybe all of your post wasn’t there, looks like something got left out. Anyway, g’night!
sanantonerose: The image:
Getting fucked in the ass while enjoying a Big Mac.
You have rediscovered the American Dream for all.
I don’t have the exact Pantone number for it, but I believe that the background color for the opening titles and closing credits is called “Santorum”.
And the only other time I’ve seen names like that in the credits are in porn.
Never cared for Ronald McDonald. Kinda creepy. Now that he is a bomb throwing gay-supporting liberal — he is kinda hot now. Who knew?
mothermaven: Curly red hair is the IN do these days.
sanantonerose: Hope you supersize it too. Red and white striped stockings will add some pizzazz.
I’ve got a girlfriend and could go for some of that sodomite stuff right now, hell I’ll boycott McDonalds, BK AND Wendy’s if someone would just help a brotha out.
Ronald was asked for comment. The avuncular spokesman said, “The hardest part about having sex with children is getting the catsup out of my clown suit.” Ronald is starring in the new ABC Family sitcom, “Touched by an Uncle” starting this fall.
Makeithurt: “The hardest part about having sex with children is getting the catsup out of my clown suit.”
Boy, if I had a big mac for every time I’ve heard that…
And I hear that McD’s is caving somewhat and offering a Family Values Meal. The McFundies will never see it, though, because it’s not on the dollar menu.
I wish I could quit you, Ronald.
So this must be why gay people are all slovenly pigs and heteros have totally ripped abs.
Who needs a clown to mock God when you’ve got churchloads of these idiots doing a great job (for free)?
masterdebater: If they worried about sucky food, they could never go to another church supper!
I love the idea of these wingnuts looking at the “what you can do” piece, and deciding that in order to tell the manager of the boycott, they actually have to go into the restaurant (uh, store) … but you just know that once they get in there, the smell of the grease and fries will lure them into a sinful eating frenzy.
How did fundamentalists get access to all this dancehall and ska that’s playing the the background?
… but what’s with the multicolored letters in the oh-so-not-clever alterations to the McDonald’s slogan?
I used to avoid McDonalds for health reasons and because I thought it was only for the bitters. But now that I know that buttsecks is involved, you can’t keep this liberal elitist away! Robble! Robble!
“You deserve a brick today![tm]”
Seriously, I eat there because they pay me to.
Otherwise, I would drink my lunch, like I used to do before I became a corporate
whorespy.Sooo, would Jesus eat a Mc Fish sandwich?
Or would the Son of God prefer a Burger KING fish sandwich, called The Whaler before whale meat got so expensive?
Oh, this isn’t the first time McD’s has courted controversy…
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27899
Last two paragraphs are key.
Whenever I hear about Christian fundamentalists complaining about sodomy, I wonder how many actively engage in activities that constitute sodomy, including cunnilingus, fellatio and of course ass-f*cking. Are all of these activities all right in the eyes of God when straight people do it? I sense some major hypocrisy going on.
Also, probably 15-20 years ago Minnesota experienced crazy flooding and Joan Kroc, of the McDonald’s fortune, gave every person flooded out of their home thousands of dollars. I have had a tender spot for Joan Kroc and McDonald’s ever since. Sometimes they try to do the right thing, even if overall McDonald’s is an abomination of biblical proportions.
I call shenanigans.
Not_So_Much: The fat guy in the wheelbarrow is really John Haggee!
slowhansolo: the sin of the Sodomites was against hospitality. Nevertheless, G-d was willing to negotiate with Abraham about not destroying them. Abraham’s only mistake was assuming there would be at least 8 righteous people in the town.
Zhu Bajie
Darehead: Rod Parsley for VP! McCain needs a Pentecostal adviser telling him the will of G-d. Bush probably has one or two.
Zhu Bajie
So does Rev. Wildmon own stock in,say, White Castle? Or is his starting his own “xtn” burger joint? LLike Burger Heaven?
Zhu Bajie