Wonkette
- OBAMA AND MCCAIN SPLIT THE ELECTORATE IN OBVIOUS AND PREDICTABLE WAYS: Oh Goodness This Just In! Younger people like Barack Obama, while older folks like John McCain; the black peoples favor the one while the white peoples favor the other. So, unless a big segment of voters plans on effecting a rapid change in age or race in the next few months, we might as well hold this frigging election now. Meet your new president, Bob Barr. [Wall Street Journal]
I am confident in a battle with any of you voters over 34 years-old, and I will be paying for your retirement soon as well, so I think many of you should reconsider.
I don’t think the electorate hates their democratic process enough quite yet. They were almost there before Quitter-in-Chief Hillary had to be a loser and drop out. Now it’s going to take three more months before our beacon of democracy rises up to inspire the rest of the world to hold elections where candidates talk shit about each other until the least bloodied limps into the White House to rule with half the country disrespecting the crap out of him.
Can we just assemble a crack team to select the president every year? I nominate Lou Dobbs, Oprah, Emeril, Donald Trump, and a rotating seat to be filled by the reigning America’s Next Top Model.
Noodle Salad:
Preznit Sanjaya? No thanks, dude.
well, here in Ole Virginny, voter registrations for those 18-24 have apparently jumped, so the Black Hope might take this state. Hard to fathom.
“Voter Registration Jumps for Ages 18 to 25
Virginia is experiencing a surge in voter registration among 18- to 25-year-olds. The State Board of Elections says the number of voters in that age group has increased by 10 percent in the past year. As of last week, there were 569,817 registered voters in that age group.
During the same period, the total number of registered voters increased by 5 percent, to 4.7 million.
In addition to the presidential race, population growth could be a factor. U.S. Census Bureau figures show that the number of 18- to 24-year-olds is growing faster than Virginia’s overall population.
– Associated Press ”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/21/AR2008072102667.html?sub=AR
Hey, you didn’t tell us Depends was a candidate! Now that’s change we can believe in, with security too.
ManchuCandidate: I don’t think you could convince me that the country would have been any worse off with Sanjaya in the Oval Office the past four years.
Doglessliberal: Betcha Barry’s Veep choice decides your state. Betcha betcha betcha…
This just in: Wall Street Journal written by rich people, for rich people.
Here’s a project. Go out and find a “undecided voter.” Punch them in the face and kick them in the gonads.
There. Don’t you feel better?
shortsshortsshorts:
I think Obama should pick Murtha as his running mate. He’s McCain’s perfect Democratic mirror image. Both elderly. Check. Both veterans Check, but Murtha didn’t have that bad habit of crashing expensive vehicles. Both sorta kinda involved with scandals. Check, the Savings and Loan thing and Abscam. It’s perfect. Murtha can challenge McCain to a debate at the American Legion Hall in Johnstown, PA, or at the Big Dutch Family Restaurant in Schaefferstown (at 4pm, of course, so they can take advantage of the Early Bird special).
Doglessliberal: There is hope, Virginny went for Webb, who I like simply for the fact that he always looks like he going to punch all those war cheerleaders in the dick…
But who’s winning the secret Moslem vote?
shortsshortsshorts: could well be. I am not sure how his picking Bayh would have an effect, and that is the latest rumor (baseless), but VA does seem to like sort of bland white guys.
freakishlystrong: and, scarily, Warner (Mark not John) is waaaaay ahead in the polls against Gilmore for Senate. This is truly odd–two Dem Senators, a Dem Gov, and goes for a Dem Pres? Hard to fathom.
gurukalehuru: WSJ reporting is actually pretty good. It’s the editorial page you don’t ever want to let your eyes fall upon. Scary stupid.
Randomocracy is looking better with every passing election cycle
shortsshortsshorts: Nah. There’s no way he can get either Mark Warner or Jim Webb to run with him (both are needed in the Senate), and Tim Kaine is kind of weird looking. This “weird-looking” disqualifier also rules out Schweitzer and Reed.
It can’t be Edwards because of his illegitimate black love child.
Can’t be female, because that would make the bitters uncomfortable.
Can’t be Rendell, America will never vote for a Jew and a Muslim on the same ticket.
Say hello to your ticket, everybody: it’s Obama-Hagel!
the Wall Street Journal must be unaware of what I call the “Dr. Ada M. Fisher Quotient”…
Doglessliberal: ’specially there..I grew up in Virginny. You could be pleasently surprised however, I think this year anything is possible.
Also, Bayh is ruled out because of the gay overtones of an Obama-Bayh ticket. There is such a thing as too much pretty.
freakishlystrong: I am with you. I am unabashedly a hopeful elitist this year.
jagorev: and no Dodd because he is too New England? And no Biden because he thinks Obama smells nice. Anyone southern out there he could pick?
RuperttheBear: But wait til’ after the mating season is over. Then all free passes for being undecided should officially be expired.
This had me in full guffaw mode:
Mr. Newhouse said older voters — like many others in the survey — may have a harder time getting comfortable with Sen. Obama, and may be more likely to be concerned about his lack of experience. “Obama’s a newer face on the national scene,” he said. “They’re still taking their time to get to know him. And there are hesitations about his experience level and ability to be commander in chief.”
Yeah, it has nothing to do with race. OK.
jagorev: I’d rather it was Obama/Hamburgler then Hagel. SO over that guy.
Murtha would be more fun.
Terry: The best part about having Murtha? 5 p.m. supper and 8 p.m. bedtime for everyone. We could become some kind of post-Soviet retirement community.
Doglessliberal: On my next visit, we shall have to meet up and dine on arugula and sip Chablis! I’ll be in the powder blue pantsuit…
jagorev: Dude, it’s so obviously going to be Hillary, it’s not even funny. Biden is the MAN, but he’s too crazy for the bitters. Edwards decided he wanted to tarheel some trollop in LA, so he’s out. Jim Webb wants to keep writing his scandalous novels. Hillary with get the gig by default.
freakishlystrong: you just let me know, and I’ll stop by Whole Foods.
Ok, if we’re going to play the data game, Barr none, I hope it is on topic to mention that once again, the MSM (the McWalnuts Street Urinal) did not include Ron Paul! They included Depends, but not Dr. Paul! What? Dr. Paul is not even running, you say? Duddn’t no matter. Cuz now the good doctor is the benchmark of perfection, so you can compare your favorite candidate against the “perfect-o-meter” of Ron Paul! Seriously, and here is a preview (and it is NOT a snark):
Ron Paul scores a 5 for each, giving him a perfect score of 100. It is not possible for any current candidate to get a perfect score. Ron Paul is a unique vessel for liberty. Similarly to the pursuit of happiness, candidates can only pursue their Ron Paul-ness.
Liberty Maven link:
http://www.libertymaven.com/2008/06/30/introducing-the-ron-paul-paul-o-meter-does-your-candidate-measure-up/1225/
magic titty: hey, how about Kent Salazar? Colorado, Latino, nice American story?
ALIVE!: Agreed that WSJ journalism is quite good, but Rupert isn’t finished yet. And, you need a whole liter of Brain Bleach™ to rinse away the damage from reading that poor people are “lucky duckies” because they don’t have to pay income tax.
Doglessliberal: Jim Marshall, Georgia congressman (8th District, centered in Macon, where he was a popular, two-term mayor). Blue Dog, Vietnam vet (he was a tunnel rat). The liberals will whine about him (he’s hawky and fiscal conservativey), but they’ll suck it up. Downside is, he’s an obscure backbencher. Smart, funny guy, though.
jagorev: Bayh is out for how that sounds alone. “Obamabah.” I feel like voting for McCain just typing that.
Also the time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening … and the robot vote is in. Dr. Paul has won!
Doglessliberal: Yeah, until you realize the ppl being depicted as nice Americans wouldn’t vote for a Latino guy. Especially after barely getting over the shock that Barack Obama is not a Black Muslim. I’m skeptical. The Colorado angle is a good one, though.
V572625694: The italics were supposed to stop after “WSJ,” doofas. Sure hope Ken can restore comment preview privileges someday. It’s not as if we’re enemies of America or something, just HTML-challenged.
OT/ Hey Wonkette, are y’all going to liveblog Obama’s speech at 1:00pm? My loser office won’t let me stream!
And just when you think the current occupant can’t be more of a DICK
V572625694: You pulled a Darehead, but I am getting better. Slash before the little eye.
magic titty: Not to mention that I believe Bill Richardson has a lock on the ‘Token Hispanic for Vice President’ slot. Or is he among the many who have Shermanned out of the running already? I get confused…
freakishlystrong: Yes We Can! I was all frantic this morning because I saw something about it being scheduled for 3pm Berlin time, but it apparently has been rescheduled. Never fear, there is nothing else to write about on this boring-ass news day anyway.
freakishlystrong: That is dickier than the dickens. What is “Democrats abroad” then? Were the expat FS workers banned from hearing the original “ich bin ein berliner?”…..
georgia_peach: nah, he has a lot of skeletons in his background (female ones). Too much of a liability.
Sara K. Smith: Vielen Dank!
Darehead: They’re supressing their freedoms over there so they can surpress them over here?!..Sweet German Chocolate Jesus…
I wish someone would tell me how to vote. I’m one of those “hard working” people Hillary had in the bag. Now, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do…Frank McEnulty? I don’t know, maybe I’ll just have to sit this one out. She could have at least told us who to vote for after she quit. Bitch!
Why aren’t we playing ‘in the tail on the veep choice?
Prize: a year’s supply of America’s best enemas?
Whatever happened to Pat Shroeder?
Ich bin ein Expat, not in Germanu though. I always thought ‘not being political’ meant not pushing Communism, freedom fries, Brittney, ET, John Tesh, etc. on the locals, but that is did not refer to what we do ‘mongst our fellow compatriots.
Darehead: Germanu=Germany
is=it
Any editors out there who will marry me?
Seriously, Dodd is now too tainted by the mortgage scandal, and Biden’s too apt to go off on a crazy rant about some stupid shit. Way too much risk with either of those guys, and it’s not like they bring any name recognition or sway in states that Obama needs to compete in.
Hillary is ruled out because any sane person would want to stay the hell away from bringing her drama into the White House.
It’s Hagel, I tell you. He’ll bring that one electoral vote in Omaha!
jagorev: I still like Pat. Cuz she’s Pat.
Gentleman’s bet: McCain wins by a slight margin in November.
jagorev: I like to think that Obama will not need an electoral vote out of Omaha to win this thing; it can’t be that close. It would be a nice footnote on election night–as a kind of “fuck off” to the rest of Nebraska and a “please annex us now” to Iowa–but if the Obama camp thinks he needs Omaha to lock up the election, then he’s giving McCain too much credit.
seriously, have the win-at-all-costs Republican strategists, and RNC, decided to sit this election out, commentate on Fox News and prepare for 2012? because it seems like McCain’s people are running this thing alone and making rookie mistakes that trained handlers (the ones who made Bush look not completely handicapped during his campaign) would know to avoid.
sure, Karl Rove and his ilk are devil-spawn but I admire their zeal.
masterdebater: Hold still, and I’ll kick you in the grote.