Wonkette
So apparently Sarah Palin, our favorite Alaskan governor, has a sister, and her sister was married to a state trooper named Wooten until they went through a “bitter divorce.” And then Palin and her husband and various others talked to Wooten’s boss, the public safetey commissioner, and said…Well, nobody knows what they said, but the public safety commissioner felt PRESSURED to FIRE WOOTEN. But he didn’t! And then mysteriously he got fired instead.
So the question is, was Public Safety Commission Walt Monegan fired because he didn’t want to get rid of the governor’s sister’s ex-husband, or was he fired because he kept stealing people’s Cokes out of the fridge? Anyway, now people want a big investigation into this scandal, because the fired boss doesn’t know why he was fired.
God, these state-level scandals are SO BORING when there’s no sex involved. Somebody wake us up when the drug-addicted prostitute shows up with John Edwards’ love child and runs over the state of Alaska in her black Corvette with expired tags.
Legislature may appoint investigator in firing [Anchorage Daily News]
Maybe Gov. Palin was having an affair with the brother-in-law? Would that help?
Pic of sister, please?
I wonder what sort of ‘pressure’ she applied to Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan?
NewAlgier: I second that
Palin has been battling with the big oil companies in Alaska since she took office. She has this silly notion that the state’s resources should be used for the good of Alaskans, not the oil companies. Anyway, first her car was rear ended in traffic a couple of weeks ago and now a scandal has been dug up. Hmmm… still I’m putting my money on Palin over the oil companies.
ps.. pic of the trooper, please?
No sex involved? Then what do you think “Homing In On Halibut” means?
And here I thought that Alaska’s state police force was entirely made up of polar bears.
Further proof, as if it were needed, that you don’t fuck about with hot bespectacled chicks named Sara/h. They all swing a banhammer of some kind.
Who cares, she’s hot.
If McCain picked her for VP, I would so vote for him. And I’ve been an Obamatard since ‘98.
Cape Clod: She applied pressure by getting naked and posting a sex tape somewhere, hidden on the internet.
If this trooper still isn’t fired by the time Sarah is VP (or VPILF, if you prefer), she can just shoot him in the face and make him apologize for getting in the way of her birdshot.
And not one shall question the authenticity of this story, because it has the flashing link for BREAKING: HOT DISH SARAH PALIN GIVES BIRTH, KID headline underneath.
icedog: I second that.
That could “clear up this Jed Clampett-like issue surrounding her sister and trooper Wooten,” he said.
any story involving someone called Trooper Wooten, especially if he has anything to do with a Jed Clampitt-like issue, should never be taken lightly as theres always the Ellie Mae factor to consider…
Sara for Gov. of where-ever. She is much hotter than the scary witch from the North.
shortsshortsshorts: The blink tag is the sign of ultimate truth, bestowing authenticity on everything appearing on the same page with it.
Um, the guy’s name is Wooten? Shouldn’t that be illegal even in the foreign land of Alaskanistan?
Where there is a “bitter divorce” there is quite likely some sex involved.
Honor and Dignity: That’s it. Gov. Palin has a NUDITY CODE. Just like Nurse Jenny in Silent Hill. I’ve just got to save Nurse Gov. Palin and then she gets naked.
Still don’t think she’s hot, and I’m a connoisseur of the dark hair/glasses look.
Personally I think we should fire every sheriff, just to experiment with libertarian security guards. That might shut those fuckers up for a while.
As they say on the Discovery Channel, “everything is tougher in Alaska”
Sarah has good posture. Not like the Am Apparel black swimsuit girl. Why is she slouching? Someone please tell her to stand up straight.
FYI, Sarah’s sister’s name is Molly - Molly (Heath) McCann, which I think is her name from a previous marriage (before the Mike Wooten one). One of the bits of bitterness is that Mike used a taser on her 10-year-old son (from the previous marriage), “just so he could feel what it was like.” But, as one of the insane commenters on this insane Alaska blog notes, “What’s wrong with a boy learning the tools of his father’s trade?”
icedog: Wouldn’t she lose her republican membership card if she were battling with Big Oil? I thought the Sith(R) all just had to ‘do thy master’s bidding’??
But, I was hoping for some inappropriate sex or at least a reference to ‘laying some pipe’…
Photos of everyone involved can be found here:
Bear sightings
Mahousu: Wow. Tools of the trade, indeed. Good thing pop doesn’t work at Gitmo.
No pics yet, but the folks on Alaska’s finest blog are providing some entertainment:
“I know Molly Heath/mcann/wooten, not what I would call your average soccer mom more like reformed pole dancing, rehab drop out …”
You say that like it’s a bad thing. Oh, maybe it’s the “reformed” part.
icedog: Gov. Palin was rear-ended? Who was the lucky Alaskan?
If Palin loses her job America is fucked because our NEXT hottest governor is…Jennifer Granholm???
In which case I’m moving to France.
Ok, she’s a republican and a life time member of the NRA, so why do I still want to see naked pictures of her? Oh, yeah, I forgot, I sick like that. Sorry. Damn it would be cool if she ran with McCranky! You know, she could be the palate cleanser we need after seeing his old ass on teevee. And, no, I wasn’t just hoping for some “accidental” press photo op up-skirt pics! Pervs!
Palin should just give the brother-in-law rogue cop a good spanking (posted on youtube, please) and all will be fine.
Mahousu: From that blogh it looks like everyone in Alaska is getting $1200 from the lady governor. She clearly knows where the votes are.
Can we all just accept–intelligently and pretty accurately–that about 98 percent of the politicians in Alaska have completely lost their minds and are suffering from some type of mental illness, and that it might, just maybe, have something to do with, you know, the environment and their wayward location? Really.
thefrontpage: Only 98 percent? They are doing a little bit better than most state governments.
I’d like to drill in her protected areas. Although, I couldn’t guarantee there wouldn’t be any messing spills.
NewAlgier: here’s a picture of her:
Baconcat: http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41033000/jpg/_41033716_whitewitch.jpg
blowhard: Granholm is waaaay hotter than Palin. Unfortunately, she was born in Canada, so no VP spot for her.
Well, the sex angle is that the guy Sarah nominated to replace the guy she fired apparently forgot to mention that he’d been reprimanded when he was a police chief for sexual harassment of his assistant. Apparently he liked to give neck rubs and lingering hugs - very brotherly stuff, he says. Unfortunately for Sarah, this led to a public uproar, and now the guy has resigned after a week or so on the job.
He tried to give her a hug at the press conference and I’m pretty sure I heard her say, “Ewwwww…”.