Wonkette
Little weirdo and amateur devil exorcist Bobby Jindal will NOT be John McCain’s losing vice-presidential candidate, the scrawny character announced today after the terrible HURRICANE destroyed the last hopes of McCain’s campaign. “I’m not going to be the vice presidential nominee or vice president,” Jindal said at a news conference to announce the cancellation of other news conferences. “I’m going to help Senator McCain get elected, as governor of Louisiana. Let me be clear: I have said in every private and public conversation, I’ve got the job that I want.” Back to you, Mitt. [CNN Political Ticker]
“I’m going to help Senator McCain get elected, as governor of Louisiana.”
So he is going to pass out and give bribes and blow-jobs?
What is that job? Perversion is a hard act to keep up, if that’s what he means.
OK, Bobby Jindal is the governor of LA, and he says “I’ve got the job that I want.”
But he also says, “I’m going to help Senator McCain get elected, as governor of Louisiana.”
Can LA have two governors at the same time?
Is this McCain’s fallback gig for when he doesn’t become Prexy?
And if being governor of Louisiana is the gig that Jindal wants, why is he helping “Senator McCain get elected, as governor of Louisiana?”
Did Jindal miss out on ESL classes because he was too busy studying amateur exorcism?
Given the way McCain mangles the King’s English, there can been no better GOP Veep than Jindal.
It’d be a “Who’s on first?” laff-riot 24/7/365.
And in Atlanta, Sonny Perdue chuckles with satisfaction. Another “rival” down, another day in which somebody might mention him as a ridiculous, dark-horse longshot to be McCain’s running mate.
Hey, nobody believed his dumb ass would be elected governor, either. Except Diebold.
He’ll be the veep. The power of Christ compels him.
Exactly how, and why, and in what alternative universe, did the wayward and slightly confused populace of the state of Louisiana elect this Jindal moron as their governor? Did anyone investigate whether the drinking water was somehow spiked, or citizens drank rather large amounts of Kool Aid on the last election day? What on earth happened in that state?!! How did this moron get elected?!
Lazy Media: Sonny’s magical weather-controlling powers are behind this. He prayed for Hurricane Dolly to take out lil’Bobby; it might have missed Louisiana, but Bobby got the message. Next up: a mysterious flash flood sweeps away the Romney compound.
thefrontpage: He was the only Catholic running at the time. Loosiana = mostly Catholic.
Yes, and a lot of Catholics vote for a candidate for the wrong (religious) reasons. They’re as much to blame for Bush as the idiot Naderites.
[/bitter ex-Catholic]
Canuckledragger: I think either Jindal will possess McCain or McCain will possess Jindal.
Booo! I wanted to hear more about Jindal’s exorcisms. “If it fails, you get reprocessed.”
Lascauxcaveman: But does he worship White Republican Jebus, or that crazy multicultural Vaguely Brownish Hippie Jebus?
Lascauxcaveman: Bobby’s holding out for a meaningful gig that he really wants.
Successor to Benny Hinn.
Jindal insisted on exorcising that trolloped-up cunt before joining the ticket. It seems that even WALNUTS! has his limits.
Shit. I was looking forward to that. I guess we’ll just have to settle for magic underwear and canine car ornaments.
Lascauxcaveman: Nah, we Irish Catholics don’t vote for religious reasons. We vote just to piss off whoever is in power at the time–especially our local bishop. Back around St. Patty’s Day, Hopey appeared at some Association of Irish Women dinner in my area. He’s got my vote. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “black Irish”.
Walnuts appeared today at a theatre about 2 miles down the road. He couldn’t even fill up the joint, because there’s not that many Republicans in the whole county. He did, however, raise $75,000 at a $250-a-plate luncheon. I don’t know what’s more hilarious–Republicans paying $250 for undercooked chicken, or Republicans paying $250 to shake hands with Walnuts. Either way, they got seriously ripped off.
Don’t be a bitter ex-Catholic. Come on back to the Church, and aggravate your bishop! It’s fun!
McCain: “Alas — the last brown Republican prospect has bowed out. Now what to do?”
Alan Keyes (frantically waving his hand) “Senator! Senator! I’d like to interest you — ”
McCain: “Guess I’ll give Mitt Romney a call.”
Walnuts/Mittens 08-born to lose and destined to fail
I went to college with Bobby but he never offered to exorcise shit for me.
Given the fact that his name takes more than a second to figure out how to pronounce I assume this guy is some sort of Muslim or Arab, right??
Johnny Zhivago: You are obviously not a Republican. There are only three kinds of people. Since Jindal falls somewhere in the spectrum between American and Negra, he’s clearly Mexican.
Lascauxcaveman: Hey! The Catholic Vote is ALWAYS split down the middle, and 2004 was no exception. Even as a lapsed Catholic I take umbrage to that.
In fact, aren’t Catholics generally less likely to cast votes for religious reasons because Catholics as a whole attend church less frequently then other Christians?
The demon that is possessing my daughter totally called this. “Bobby Jindal will be sucking cocks in hell NOT running for VP! Grgglge Dominus vixerunt!”
Separated at birth: Bobby Jindal and Dennis Kucinich
Too bad. Jindal is comedy gold. Local media here in Minnesota is ripe with rumors that Pawlenty is Walnut’s first choice. It’ll be nice to get rid of the schmuck but he’s almost normal, you know, for a Republican.
This Jindal dufus just looks all shade of stupid. And another NEOCON that has very little command of the English language. Seriously, does anyone use education as a standard anymore?
Johnny Zhivago: Actually, he looks like a Messican.
catsquatch: Maybe Jindal will reconsider if McCain honor kills Meghan for hanging out with that trollop Heidi Montag.
Once McCain demanded that Jindal quit his steady gig as the voice of the convenience store owner on “The Simpsons,” it was all over.
loquaciousmusic: I guess two Panamanians on the ticket is going too far?
DieOnTheTurnpike: No need for an honor killing. Li’l Bobby can just exorcise the devil out of her.
I hear tell from people who tell the things I hear, that Mittens got the Latter-Day shaft. So if there’s no diversity, which pale ass homo are they going to trot out to make Walnuts look even more 18th Century?
He’s we-need-a-exorcism crazy, just not run-with-McCain crazy.
Too bad. He looks muslim, so it would have been fun to have him in the race to balance Barry. But that barber shop quartette hair cut has to go.
masterdebater: He looks more like a child rapist. Think about it….
Boyish haircut: check
Small build: check
Innocent half smile: check
Fading ambitions: definitely a check.
ALSO, he is Catholic. I mean c’mon. That right there, is the definition of child rapist. Now I was Catholic at one time, but I got out before I turned 18, so that technically takes me out of the child rapist category. Bobby Jindel Krishna however, became Catholic after said- 18, so he’s got to be giving to a number of unidentifieds.
I believe Jindal. Kālī needs more devoted disciples in corporate America, especially since Milton Friedman is gone.
http://www.muktinath.org/images/hinduismfolder/Kali01-282.jpg
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Blow jobs are never needed in a state economy based upon oil and its hydrocabon distillate Vasoline.
Thank goodness. “Johnny and Bobby….” I dunno. Sounds like the Sopranos.
Based on his supply of goofy camera ops alone, Mittens is clearly the VP we want.
The Peter Principle would be proved outrageously true if this moron could keep tripping up the failure ladder to become VP. He’s an ass of a sorry governor in LA, that’s for sure.
Oh, and to answer whomever it was who asked how he got elected in LA, it’s pretty simple: the crazed Republican US government tarred and feathered Kathleen Babineaux-Blanco, the Democratic Gov. at the time, and, since she’s a Democrat, that means she could count on jack shit in terms of support from our Democratic leadership. They managed to paint Katrina as almost entirely Blanco’s fault and out she went. It’s telling that the state is one of the few that seems to be tanking faster than any other state during the Bush Administration and is nearly the only state in the union to be getting redder as a result.
Does anybody else think Bobby looks like “Everybody loves Raymond” in that photo? Is it the dopey haircut (like many maxi-pads, it has wings!)? or the dopey expression?
S.Luggo: Blow-jobs — Ass-jobs — But really, what else is the Governor of Louisiana good for?