Wonkette
- LOOK, HE’S STILL ALIVE OK?: From the intrepid local news team at ABC 7 News: “The pedestrian who was struck by prominent Washington columnist and commentator Robert Novak is in worse shape than first thought, a hospital source tells ABC 7 News. The victim, a 66-year-old man, appeared somewhat incoherent, said the source who had seen the victim. The man appeared to have casts on his neck and back. The victim was X-rayed and a surgical team plans to evaluate him, the source said.” The police should take note of the severity here and strike Novak with a harsher penalty. They gave him a $50 ticket earlier? Make it $65. NO — GIVE HIM A $90 TICKET. [WJLA]
RETARDGATE
He immediately blamed it on a McCain staffer who called him to try and get him to plant a story…
….and the asian transsexual hooker in the front seat.
Ticket, schmicket. Send him to Gitmo.
He feels “terrible” that he didn’t kill the man.
Watch the interview. He says: “He’s not dead, that’s the main thing.”
$50 TICKET? God damn! Call me when Dick Cheney’s crossing the street…
Hey, wasn’t the victim one of those “green” pedestrians.
If he were a Real America (TM) he would have been driving his own American low gas mileage muscle car and had a fighting chance.
Good.
Rid our nation of its elderly before they take all my social security money.
A $50 ticket?!?! When I was 17 I got a moving violation in DC that cost me a cool $100. And that was in 1990!!! On top of that, no living creature or any property was harmed.
Yank his license so he’ll have to walk among the living.
Bob Novak wouldn’t be able to spot a story if it fell onto the hood of his car.
I was going to write that this guy will at least be able to sue the shit out of Novak, but Novak would probably have the guy’s family baked into a rack of delicious cupcakes.
Oh Sweet Jesus; I’m an attorney; not that kind of attorney, but if I was, this is the motherload I’d be looking for.
AHHHHHH
I got a $180 ticket the other day for going 55 in a 40.
And I didn’t strike ANY PEDESTRIANS.
I have to go drink now.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Mother lode. The other thing is a type of prOn.
Time to get tort reform back on the front burner.
blackdontcrack: It’s good that the clumsy pedestrian is alive.
If he were dead, then Novak could not sue for negligent damage to wax job and reckless infliction of a driving ticket. Nor could Bob file a criminal complaint against the guy for attempted vehicular suicide and/or walking while upright.
Methinks this is the harbinger of the end of an era. We finally have our piece of excruciatingly beautiful poetry.
“I didn’t know I hit him.”
Perhaps Sen. McGaff will call him Rove?
If Novak had to pay $50 every time he whacked a pedestrian the poor guy would never be able to feed his family. Family of ghouls, they eat brains, which are very expensive nowadays.
I heard the guy’s blood was on the street until Novak slurped it up.
I forget. Was it the victim or Novak who was incoherent? ‘Cause if it was Novak, then he’s good to go. That how he rolls!!
Wait a second. Yes - when reading the description of the man, I forgot if they were talking about Novak or the victim.
Take note:
I hear that Dick Cheney invited Bob Novak AND Ron Paul on a hunting trip this weekend.
Seriously, these guys better avoid any offers to ride in Air Force “Comfort Capsules” for the time being.
McCain/Novak ‘08!
shortsshortsshorts: I hate oldsters as much as the next guy, but KA-CHING! this sounds like a plaintiff lawyer is going to jizz all over Novak’s face. HUZZAH!
Scooter:
It was the victim that was incoherent. But what do you suspect if you just had your soul ripped from you.
Still if it had been Cheney or Novak in the day, only the living dead would be left in their wake.
He was aiming for Valerie Plame.
toastandlove: Maybe he got a senior discount or something. I don’t know what kind of a hick town DC is, but around here, $50 is for illegal parking, and it doesn’t have to be up some poor pedestrian’s kiester, either.
I really wanted to make a connection between this story and Blowout starring John Travolta, but that would be a real stretch…even for Wonkette.
ReverendGreen: Was it type A, B, AB, or O? Novak is so particular about his sources. I ssk that with utmost respect for the undead.
BYW: Kudos.
So was the ‘Vette cranking “Don’t Fear the Reaper”?
cal: Liz Phair’s “HWC”.
The guy is lucky Novak didn’t have Cheney finish him off for throwing himself in front of his car.
On the serious tip, I really hope this becomes the big news story it deserves to be… it’s just what he did to Ms. Plame, except the metaphor has come to life!
Sweet chocolate Jesus! I’ve gotten bigger fines for expired tags out here in Bitterland!
RuperttheBear: For sure. There’s 75 years of case law that are about to be shoved up his “compassionate conservative” ass. Excellent.
“I see something of an older gentleman in the crosswalk get hit. The black Corvette convertible take a right turn onto the K Street service road…”
Attorney David Bono seems to be doing well in his ESL classes.
toastandlove: Hell, I owe the fine jurisdiction of Los Angeles something like $400 for allegedly coming to a rolling stop at a stop sign (and then kind of forgetting to pay the ticket for a month or so because it was sort of forgettable, possibly because it involved no hit-and-runs!)
The Washington Post this morning identifies the man as “Don Lilkinquist, 66, who has no fixed address.” No fixed address?? Under DC law, doesn’t that mean you get some kind of bonus for hitting him? Novak wuz robbed!
Maybe they should pull his license until he can demonstrate his ability to distinguish normal traffic and whether or not someone is “splayed across his windshield”.
We can also change the metaphor from “Being thrown under a bus” to “Being run down by a corvette”.
You can vote here on ABC 7’s poll if you believe the nice commentator. No comments though.
It’s at 54% believing him, represented by a blue bar, and 46% believing he hit him represented by red. They got the colors switched.
http://cfc.wjla.com/processpoll.cfm?i=1899