We’re having trouble getting into this latest iteration of the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter/Love Child story, probably because, um, who gives a shit about this loser or his bastard? For what it’s worth, however, he offered a curt denial today in Houston, where he was talking to a low-income housing aid organization: “That’s tabloid trash… They’re full of lies. I’m here to talk about helping people.” Oh ho ho, so now Mr. Altruism over here thinks that helping poor people is more important than his ubiquitous boner, hmm? [Houston Press]

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  1. Eh… that’s sort of the classic non-denial denial. Still, the guy’s wife has cancer and he’s no longer a presidential contender. I say leave the guy alone.

  2. That picture tells me to lay off the John Edwards jokes for a while. The man has had enough. Or maybe hanging around mysterious black dudes makes you look edgy.

  3. Great. Now I can’t get Diana Ross’ whiney voice out of my head…”Love child, Love child, never meant to be….” Thanks Enquirer and the minds that worship you.

  4. Hell, if I was as pretty and rich as John Edwards, I’d be hitting just about everything that moved. Of course I’d have to draw the line at crazy new age chicks, John. “No, honey, everything doesn’t happen for a reason, there are accidents, and the stars did not conspire to bring us together. Just because I put up with that bullshit to get you into bed doesn’t mean I’m going to listen to it afterwards.”

  5. [re=42391]itgetter[/re]: Love it! That would definitely fool the assbags at Fox And Friends.

    “After the break…is Senator John Edwards an ‘O.G’?? Don’t touch that dial!”

  6. Man, Isaac from the Love Boat has seen better days. He’s probably the one that got John into all this mess in the first place.

  7. Photo says it all. John-John just got his “we were framed” sympathy call from Larry Craig. Either that, or the dude on the right has just asked if Mr. Edwards has ever considered going black. After all, any dude who would step out on his Stage 4 wife, just might be itchin’ to pull the train, too. Mmmm. He used to have pretty mouth.

  8. Also, bad call on John Edwards’ part. If he’d said that he was out at a hotel with her at some ungodly hour of the morning because she was, like, giving him a pedicure, I would have bought it. His face is so guileless. But this bullshit is what bullshitters say. Politicians are maybe even more full of bullshit than the National Enquirer. Tough call.

  9. two amerikahs, 1 fer tha wife and 1 fer my new girl. I wish my Daddy Walnuts would deny I exist instead of makin’ me kleen tha’ toilet with my tongue…

  10. Is it just me, or do the “Before/After” pictures of Rielle Hunter confirm the whole “Beware of Coke-Skinny Blonde Chicks!: The Sex Is Great, But One Kid And They Blow Up Like A Balloon!!!” truism?

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