Wonkette
Here is 800-year-old columnist Bob Novak, the Last Scion of Bilbo Baggins, talking to the local teevee news after hitting some guy with his car and then speeding away, only to be captured. Isn’t it HMM COINCIDENTAL that a Politico reporter happened to be walking by the incident? Here’s the “new truth:” Politico and Bob Novak thought that this was Ron Paul, this pedestrian, and they were trying to kill him for the second day in a row. HE DOES NOT HAVE MUCH LONGER. DR PAUL ES MARTYR. [YouTube via Think Progress]
PRINCE OF DARKNESS
At first read I thought you said “Here is 800-year-old communist Bob Novak”
Ron Paul? No, Dennis Kucinich is much more dangerous.
I have to admit, the Ron Paul angle makes more sense than my theory that he’s taking out anyone under 70, because they probably won’t vote for McCain.
That pedestrian was Joe Wilson.
He feels terrible. Why can’t you just leave him alone!
i’m telling you, he’s gonna have to use the Road Head Defense.
You go, Jim! It’s a Newell-Layne death match. Only Smith can survive.
I’m still concerned about the ‘orifice’ thing. Usually the Wonks are all over orifices but I sense a ‘cover up’.
The PoD (Prince of Darkness) must have thought this was the McCain aide who told him McCain would announce his Veep this week. He was seriously pissed that he got played.
Don’t mess with Bobo or he will run over you with his non-elitist black Corvette.
OK, so he hit a guy in the crosswalk and didn’t notice him on his windshield - but folks the guy DIDN’T DIE!
This just proves that a man in his 70s has what it takes to lead the country.
Texan Bulldoggette: “Prince of Darkness? Try ‘Squire of Dimness’.”
The Douchebag of Freedom strikes again!
Scarab:
You know, the last time I plowed through a bunch of jaywalkers, I mean, pedestrians in a crosswalk, I didn‘t notice a thing other than some bodies flying past my hood and over the back of my Hummer.
I kept on driving because they were liberal fools.
Gopherit v2.0: Funny isn’t it–Jeff Gannon used to feed Novak tips, now it’s the other way around.
Please, traffic camera video, PLEASE!
Perhaps it is time Mr. Novak started acting his age. Actions…have ramifications Bob. Adults…have responsibilities Bob. A part of being an adult is taking…responsibilities…for your actions…Bob. Atonement? Tell us the whole leaky story Bobby.
The Politico and the radio reporter saw him at police station where he was cited, not near the accident.
Some of comments below the Politico article are interesting. The trolls took it for a liberal conspiracy. “So he hit some liberal…. so what,” says one of them. Classy.
“He’s not dead; that’s the main thing.”
Translation: I was sloppy - too sloppy. This won’t happen again.
If I were driving in DC and hit a pedestrian and then attempted to flee the scene, I seriously doubt I would have been allowed to leave. I’m quite certain I would have been taken into custody, and the vehicle impounded as EVIDENCE in a criminal investigation.
Its GOOD to know the President, and even better to know people at FOX ‘news.’
Pause the video at about 0:25 — the wide-hipped dude wearing khakis and a baby blue dress shirt striding through the crosswalk is a stunning example of the typical fauna on K Street.
RobPetrified:
A fucking citation is all he got! Holy crap, don’t they haul you off to jail for that?
“Belligerent Motorist Troll Bob Novak Feels”; that’s yer headline..
Bob Novak, black car illuminati-nazi, why do you hate the Constitution? If you want to hurt Ron Paul, why don’t you study his 30+ years of defending the Constitution? Was this innocent man walking down Constitution Avenue? Was he Pro-stitution rather than Con-stitution? Was he giving you Consternation? Was he giving you Constipation?
Why, Mr. Anti-Constitution, why?
I always thought Simon Bar Sinister was a cartoon character.
I hope that pedestrian is back on his feet so he can jump up and down on Novak’s precious hood screaming “CAN YOU FUCKING SEEM ME NOW????”
If I’m driving a Corvette when I’m 77, will someone please just shoot me?
Jesus. The guy was on the hood of his car and he didn’t notice? Do they give the death penalty for hit and run?
Josh Fruhlinger: except he’s not wearing a short-sleeve dress shirt with see-through fabric…
Serolf Divad: nah, you gotta do something really dumb to be hauled off to jail.
About 10 yeas ago I ran a red light and totaled a police car, and all I got was a ticket for failure to obey a traffic signal.
Oh, and the officer sued me for $60,000 then settled out of court with my insurance co for about $5,000.
I’m waiting for the pedestrian to come out and apologize for all the pain that this has caused Novak and his family.
OK, at think progress, there is a mention from lat last year that Novak actually has a corvette convertible, meaning he probably got blood and poop all over himself when he crushed the old man in the crosswalk - and STILL didn’t stop.
from http://thinkprogress.org/2007/11/20/thinkfast-november-20-2007/
And finally: “Robert Novak is a prince, all right, and every member of royalty needs a chariot befitting his title. That must be why the right-leaning columnist and author of ‘Prince of Darkness’ was spotted pulling up to the Capitol on Friday in his sleek (and slightly menacing-looking) black Corvette convertible.”
He’s just protecting the White House again, obviously Laura Bush was driving.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Gaaah. My diet coke just went down the wrong pipe.
(While skateboarding recklessly, Bart gets hit by Mr. Burns’ car.)
Smithers: I think the boy is hurt.
Burns: Oh for crying out loud, just give him a nickel and let’s get going.
Elitist Republican Tard: But what about if you are not an elitist Republican Tard? I think this is what Mr. Divad meant.
Some vigilant internet person has updated the “personal life” section Novak’s Wikipedia entry. It’s wonderfully succinct, although they did leave out Novak’s quaint roots as a centuries-old vampire and Transylvanian nobleman descendant from Attila the Hun.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Novak#Personal_life
Mahousu: more than self recrimination….it sounds like a threat to me..
Asshole was driving while drunk with power. And in fact, he never said, “I didn’t know I hit anyone.” He said, “I hit a nobody.” Fixed.
Scarab: I agree, a traffic cam would be great. However, I think that an eyewitness who tracked him down should be enough to convict. I am no lawyer, but I think he just broke three or more laws, and one of those may be a felony.
Failure to yeild to a pedestrian? How about attempted murder with an enormous motorized phallus?
Years ago Novak was reported to have almost done the same thing. “’Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!’ Novak snapped before speeding away,”
HaHa, Novak called his intended victim a [bodily orifice].
Corvettes are so low to the ground that pedestrians usually bounce off the hood, hit the windshield and flip over the back of the car. If the guy was still sprawled on the windshield, then Novak must have been driving so slowly that the dude should’ve gotten out of the way. Was this some sort of fake hit-and-run orchestrated to smear patriot Robert Novak? How low can the liberal left sink? It’s disgusting, I tell you.
In 2003, Representative Bill Janklow (R-SD) was convicted to just 100 days in jail (30 actually, with community service) for killing a motorcyclist. Like Novak, Janklow had a reputation for reckless lead-foot driving and made jokes about it all the time.
I was hoping he was finally hauled away by the fashion police for those old suits.
…Bob Novak, the Last Scion of Bilbo Baggins…
No no no. Novak’s way too old and mean for that. Instead, he is Bilbo’s nemesis Gollum.
It’s too bad Gawker had to go and sell off Wonkette. This would have been a fun Jalopnik cross-post.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Gawker gone too Paultard. Divorce, good.
Wow, the reporter mentioned Novak’s hatred of jaywalkers…Hmmm. Anyone else think he’s been doing vehicular vigilante work for a while now? Maybe the police should look into all unsolved hit-and-runs in DC where a rogue corvette was implicated.
Me say this bizness here waz ah cover-up!
Where was Cindy “Skeletor.Zoloft.Oc-C-Cuntin.Ambien.etc” McCain when all of this happened?
Uncle Al: Dude, or still driving at all.
Darehead: According to his newly hit-and-run updated wikipedia entry, Novak supported High Warlock Ron Paul until resurgent John McCain made him an offer he could not refuse: inside information on the VP search. How did that work out?
Oh, he’s some sort of driver alright. He got pulled over by a guy on a fucking bicycle who let him know he ran someone over. He couldn’t get away from a bike in his Corvette? Douchebag.
Novak went off the reservation. Walnuts framed him! I know. he told me over a bottle of warm milk and Ambien last night, before he tucked me into bed.
I feel certain that the right wing will close ranks and work hard to minimize this enormity. It doesn’t surprise me at all that Robert Novak would try to escape responsibility for hitting and injuring a pedestrian. Thank you, David Bono, for stopping him. It’s outrageous that the police deemed failing to yield the right of way a sufficient charge. Imagine how Novak would excoriate a public figure on the left who did what he has just done.
itgetter: FYI, today’s events have been mysteriously expunged from previously mentioned Wikipedia entry.
John McClain: Dunno. Good question. I couldn’t find any good evidence that Dark Prince was a “serious” Paultard, only that he had a crush on him a year ago when people still thought he was cute. I’ll keep my schnoz out hanging out the window to see if I can smell anything else.
itgetter: Yah, missing Wikipedia entry is veddddy interesting. But schtooopid. There is already so much dirt on Novak, what were they thinking?
Stop slandering Bilbo Baggins. NO WAY Novak has any Baggins in him. Unless, of course, it’s the Sackville-Baggins wing of the family. Yes, definitely could be offspring of Lotho.
(mmm nerdiness)