PRINCE OF DARKNESS  1:07 pm July 23, 2008

Hit and Run: Bob Novak Smashes Pedestrian With Black Corvette

by Ken Layne

Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the crosswalk and had a green walk signal.

The man flew over the hood and over the windshield of Novak’s black Corvette before rolling off to the street. Novak sped away, but was chased by a lawyer on a bicycle.

[David] Bono said the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a “Walk” signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and then Novak made a right into the service lane of K Street. “The car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.

The assault was also witnessed by “a WJLA-TV crew and reporter,” according to the Politico.

The cops got him and threw him in jail forever. Ha ha, not really. They gave him a ticket for “failing to yield” and let him go. The unidentified 66-year-old victim is in the hospital.

Novak once told the Washington Post that he hated “jaywalkers” and wanted to run them all over.

Breaking: Novak cited after hitting pedestrian [Politico]

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Mahousu July 23, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Novak said he was set up on that McCain VP rumor. He didn’t know the half of it.

RuperttheBear July 23, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Jinx on you and Sara Smith. And, HA HA, this is a plaintiff lawyer’s dream.

Doglessliberal July 23, 2008 at 1:11 pm

I love this:

“‘I didn’t know I hit him. I feel terrible,’ a shaken Novak told reporters from Politico and WJLA as he was returning to his car.”

He didn’t know he hit him? The dude rolled over the windshield. Is Novak blind?

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 1:12 pm

As a self-described “compassionate conservative,” he had to drive away, because there is no such thing as a “compassionate conservative.”

Obamaton July 23, 2008 at 1:12 pm

I didn’t hit “somebody”, it was just another peasant…geez…wait…thats a crime?

ManchuCandidate July 23, 2008 at 1:14 pm

So much for a Corvette being a “cool” car.

AfghanVet July 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm

He can barely sit up straight and he drives a corvette. I sort of pictured a large, older model buick.

edgydrifter July 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Wherever evil lurks, wherever darkness strolls, wherever malice rolls in a late-model Corvette, Bono will be there.

Combover July 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm

“’Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!’”


Christastic July 23, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=42176]Doglessliberal[/re]: Can you PROVE he didn’t see it? No, no you can’t!!! And don’t be surprised when Novak sues the pedestrian for damage to his ‘vette.

AnnieGetYourFun July 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm

[re=42176]Doglessliberal[/re]: Blind and deaf and mentally retarded? I mean, I’m fully aware of the sound that is made when I run over a paper cup. A person’s body colliding with my car would most certainly not go unnoticed.

WadISay July 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm

Novak will skate as a result of Bush’s mass pardon.

TGY July 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm

What, no ‘leaving the scene of an accident’? Wusses.[re=42175]RuperttheBear[/re]: Yes, only the Vice President can assault elderly lawyers and get away unscathed.

tsunami July 23, 2008 at 1:21 pm

as usual, politio’s focus is all wrong.

instead of focusing on the silly, european type girly-man on a bike who had
no business on the street in the first place and could have really
hurt someone by chasing poor novak, they’re slanting their coverage
to make novak, who was only driving on the street for god’s sake, look
like he was in the wrong. sheesh.

right now, novak is in the “victim’s” room reading him a selection of
his best columns.

blowhard July 23, 2008 at 1:24 pm

[re=42186]Combover[/re]: “Learn to read the signs, TOENAIL!!” It was me. I do resemble a toe-nail. He was merely being observant.

dcgrrl July 23, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Novak was clearly being used by the McCain campaign to distract attention from the Obama European tour. And he is REALLY going ALL OUT.

uncletravelingmatt July 23, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Insensitive prick. The least he could have done is grab a 9-iron and finish the guy off.

Servo July 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Your…just…like…crosstown traffic.

Aurelio July 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Novak got a $50 ticket for running into a pedestrian? Well, that’ll teach him a lesson.

Garble July 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Did they give him a ticket for “Sabotaging the CIA” too?

Rodney Badger July 23, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Um, I’d hit it.(?)

TGY July 23, 2008 at 1:26 pm

[re=42194]tsunami[/re]: It was Bono of U2. Oh, David Bono. Never mind.

Electric Zen July 23, 2008 at 1:26 pm

What a pussy. We’re supposed to be impressed because you can hit some nobody with your car and not get arrested?

Call me when you can shoot a rich guy in the face, and then get him to apologize on national TV for all the trouble he caused you. Now that’s a real badass.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 23, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Wednesday Bloody Wednesday.

4tehlulz July 23, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Was the pedestrian a CIA agent?

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 1:28 pm

@Ken Layne:

TOTAL WIN FOR PRINCE OF DARKNESS TAG. My hard working co-workers and I are laughing very hard workinglike.

Sara K. Smith July 23, 2008 at 1:29 pm

[re=42175]RuperttheBear[/re]: Ha ha, Jim Newell is hard at work on this identical post as well.

Monsieur Grumpe July 23, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Braking is for the elite.

Combover July 23, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=42197]blowhard[/re]: You’re not playing the game right. It has to be an orifice. ‘Can’t you read the signs, ear piercing!?!!??’ I don’t think this is coming together.

TGY July 23, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=42212]Sara K. Smith[/re]: Great minds think alike. Or small minds seldom differ, whichevs.

Mahousu July 23, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=42198]dcgrrl[/re]: Actually, I’ve been thinking it over, and I think this is like one of those gangster movies where they all start taking each other out towards the end. Next, we’ll see Condi caught in some sort of prostitution scam, David Addington will be informed on and arrested for money laundering, Bob Gates will wake up with a horse’s head in his bed …

Nothing will touch Cheney until the final, ambiguous, scene, though.

itgetter July 23, 2008 at 1:36 pm

This made me almost as gleeful as the news that Dick Cheney shot an old man in the face. Why do the Republicans hate old people so much, and is this why they hate their own presidential nominee? Watch out John McCain!!!

Mr. Herpes July 23, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Forget the citation and hit-and-run violations. Bobbie boy was “shaken” because he can forsee the CIVIL suit that is going to take that black ‘Vette of his and give it to the victim, who just happens to be a lawyer. To quote Flounder — This is soooo great.

Naked Bunny with a Whip July 23, 2008 at 1:37 pm

A Corvette? What’s he compensating for?

sezme July 23, 2008 at 1:38 pm

And then Novak and droogie Chip Pickering went off to the milk bar to celebrate another spree of ultraviolence.

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 1:40 pm

As someone who knows a few of his relatives, I can say he’s not really “liked” in the fam. “Liked” at all, actually.

Paultardville July 23, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Well, if the evil conservative douche “journalist” gig doesn’t work out, he’s now qualified to work for FEMA.

Iggy Plop July 23, 2008 at 1:41 pm

can we finally beat Novak to death with his own cane? i mean, come on, it’s so overdue.

problemwithcaring July 23, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=42210]4tehlulz[/re]: Yea, but Novak refuses to recognize him as such.

graceless July 23, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Was the pedestrian a D or an R?

Doglessliberal July 23, 2008 at 1:45 pm

[re=42188]Christastic[/re]: you know, you might be right. he surely can find a lawyer in this town to rep him in that case.

PioBaroja July 23, 2008 at 1:45 pm

Boy, when Bob Novak throws somebody under the bus, he really throws somebody under the bus! Wokka, etc. I envision that when Cheney is no longer Veep, they will have some sort of “Most Dangerous Game” weekend on an island somewhere off the cost of Kennebunkport, where they sight in their guns on the elderly.

Doglessliberal July 23, 2008 at 1:46 pm

[re=42202]Aurelio[/re]: yeah, he’d probably have offered more as a bribe to make it go away.

Scarab July 23, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Novak’s Corvette was chased down by a bicycle?
Oil prices may not be why Detroit is losing money.

Doglessliberal July 23, 2008 at 1:48 pm

[re=42219]Mahousu[/re]: I was thinking he might be on the payroll of oil companies and hired to take out people who bike to work.

freakishlystrong July 23, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=42211]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Then I insist you check out the ALT tag on the photo..a doozy, and I’m not even trying to not laugh…Jesus…

Gopherit v2.0 July 23, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Is everyone sure Novak was driving? I would have assumed he’d have backed over a victim. You know, just to be sure.

Okay, now for the mental image of the day: Sorry, King of Douchebaggery, no more road head for you if you can’t look out for

friendlynerd July 23, 2008 at 1:56 pm

The cops should dust his windshield for faceprints.

S.Luggo July 23, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Has Novak leaked the name of the pedestrian yet? Does it rhyme with flame?

pierce bottoms July 23, 2008 at 2:00 pm

this closet homo needs to spend some time in the joint.

Aurelio July 23, 2008 at 2:06 pm

[re=42185]edgydrifter[/re]: From the article: “[Bono] said he chased Novak half a block down K Street, finally caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block it and called 911. Traffic immediately backed up, horns blaring, until commuters behind Novak backed up so he could pull over.” Bono has more balls than I do. Or maybe he didn’t know he was dealing with the devil himself.

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 2:06 pm

[re=42250]freakishlystrong[/re]: YES. AWESOME.

ReelectTilden July 23, 2008 at 2:09 pm

Shouldn’t car accident stories be about Lindsay Lohan or something? DC really is Hollywood for ugly people.

KeithinWash July 23, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Given a ticket? That’s all? In Washington State that is a felony hit and run injury accident case. He puts a guy in the hospital and just gets a ticket. Any other regular Joe would have gone to jail.

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 2:15 pm

[re=42277]KeithinWash[/re]: Not if that regular Joe was wearing diapers.

Studge July 23, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Someone needs to tell Robert Novak not to mistake Jimi Hendrix lyrics for driving instructions:

You jump in front of my car when you,
You know all the time that
Ninty miles an hour, girl, is the speed I drive
You tell me its alright, you dont mind a little pain
You say you just want me to take you for a ride

S.Luggo July 23, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=42277]KeithinWash[/re]: We are dealing with DC, where assualt within an AK-47 amounts to violation of the noise ordinance.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 23, 2008 at 2:19 pm

It would figure Novak drives a Corvette: Not one of the great ones like the Stingray from the 60′s, but a wholly ineffectual, overly-designed, useless piece of Detroit shit that can’t hold a candle to any real sportscars today.

RobPetrified July 23, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Novak was driving an AMERICAN car.
Bono was probably riding a French bicycle.
Who are you gonna believe, a cheese eating surrender monkey,
or one of Tom DeLays close personal AMERICAN friends?
Damn jaywalker.

nbawriter July 23, 2008 at 2:41 pm

[re=42186]Combover[/re]: It was “cunt.” He was pandering to McCain at the time.

lumpenprole July 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm

At least it was a corvette, ideally shaped to scoop up and discard a pedestrian a few feet in either direction. (I actually had this happen to me once.) Had he been behind the wheel of an SUV… thunk, squish.squish.

freakishlystrong July 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
With a Corvette, the prick is on the inside.. tada!

Doglessliberal July 23, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=42289]S.Luggo[/re]: maybe in your DC, but I have seen people ticketed for jaywalking and littering here, they boot cars for being parked too close to a corner, and be sure not to get towed for parking in a street-sweeping zone during the wrong hours because you might never see your car again. Hitting a liberal traitor who hates America because he rides his bike and does not burn gas is, however, A-OK if you are an Evil Repubican Gnome.

CollegeStudent July 23, 2008 at 3:32 pm

I had always wondered what kind of people bought corvettes

iLLiaC July 23, 2008 at 3:39 pm

Upon regaining consciousness, the victim was reported to have said, “Now where is that marvelous ape?”

dcgrrl July 23, 2008 at 3:39 pm

[re=42276]ReelectTilden[/re]: DC really is Hollywood for ugly people… ha!

AnnieGetYourFun July 23, 2008 at 4:29 pm

[re=42277]KeithinWash[/re]: You forget that that is the OTHER Washington. And anyway, in Seattle we have the famous rabbi who hit several bicyclists but never had his license taken away until he finaly smashed into and killed a pedestrian.

The police out here, I tell ya. Well, and there.

bamaboy July 23, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Shit, when I got a dui, I paid $1,000 and got six months suspended and I didn’t hurt anyone.

DangerousLiberal July 25, 2008 at 6:17 pm

I read this first line as “Already known as the worst, meanest coach in wherever the hell he is now” after I saw the picture of Larry Brown you have posted.

What’s all this twaddle about some Novak guy, again?

Matthew Crunt July 29, 2008 at 9:48 am

Hey look, this tired shriveled-up prick of a homo (sapiens, that is), is another ass-wipe taking up space. It won’t be long until…..WAIT, HE HAS CANCER OF THE BRAIN!! There is a God! Well, the surgery will obviously be microscopic. Hope his surgeon is a right wing nutcase who graduated from a South American “medical school”. Please God, let him die bfore he can vote for McNutt! Please, oh please. I promise I won’t mention Laura Bush killing her boyfriend, again!

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