prince of darkness

Hit and Run: Bob Novak Smashes Pedestrian With Black Corvette

Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the crosswalk and had a green walk signal.

The man flew over the hood and over the windshield of Novak’s black Corvette before rolling off to the street. Novak sped away, but was chased by a lawyer on a bicycle.

[David] Bono said the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a “Walk” signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and then Novak made a right into the service lane of K Street. “The car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.

The assault was also witnessed by “a WJLA-TV crew and reporter,” according to the Politico.

The cops got him and threw him in jail forever. Ha ha, not really. They gave him a ticket for “failing to yield” and let him go. The unidentified 66-year-old victim is in the hospital.

Novak once told the Washington Post that he hated “jaywalkers” and wanted to run them all over.

Breaking: Novak cited after hitting pedestrian [Politico]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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70 comments

  1. Doglessliberal

    I love this:

    “‘I didn’t know I hit him. I feel terrible,’ a shaken Novak told reporters from Politico and WJLA as he was returning to his car.”

    He didn’t know he hit him? The dude rolled over the windshield. Is Novak blind?

  2. shortsshortsshorts

    As a self-described “compassionate conservative,” he had to drive away, because there is no such thing as a “compassionate conservative.”

  3. Obamaton

    I didn’t hit “somebody”, it was just another peasant…geez…wait…thats a crime?

  4. AfghanVet

    He can barely sit up straight and he drives a corvette. I sort of pictured a large, older model buick.

  5. edgydrifter

    Wherever evil lurks, wherever darkness strolls, wherever malice rolls in a late-model Corvette, Bono will be there.

  6. Christastic

    [re=42176]Doglessliberal[/re]: Can you PROVE he didn’t see it? No, no you can’t!!! And don’t be surprised when Novak sues the pedestrian for damage to his ‘vette.

  7. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=42176]Doglessliberal[/re]: Blind and deaf and mentally retarded? I mean, I’m fully aware of the sound that is made when I run over a paper cup. A person’s body colliding with my car would most certainly not go unnoticed.

  8. TGY

    What, no ‘leaving the scene of an accident’? Wusses.[re=42175]RuperttheBear[/re]: Yes, only the Vice President can assault elderly lawyers and get away unscathed.

  9. tsunami

    as usual, politio’s focus is all wrong.

    instead of focusing on the silly, european type girly-man on a bike who had
    no business on the street in the first place and could have really
    hurt someone by chasing poor novak, they’re slanting their coverage
    to make novak, who was only driving on the street for god’s sake, look
    like he was in the wrong. sheesh.

    right now, novak is in the “victim’s” room reading him a selection of
    his best columns.

  10. blowhard

    [re=42186]Combover[/re]: “Learn to read the signs, TOENAIL!!” It was me. I do resemble a toe-nail. He was merely being observant.

  11. dcgrrl

    Novak was clearly being used by the McCain campaign to distract attention from the Obama European tour. And he is REALLY going ALL OUT.

  12. uncletravelingmatt

    Insensitive prick. The least he could have done is grab a 9-iron and finish the guy off.

  13. Aurelio

    Novak got a $50 ticket for running into a pedestrian? Well, that’ll teach him a lesson.

  14. Electric Zen

    What a pussy. We’re supposed to be impressed because you can hit some nobody with your car and not get arrested?

    Call me when you can shoot a rich guy in the face, and then get him to apologize on national TV for all the trouble he caused you. Now that’s a real badass.

  15. shortsshortsshorts

    @Ken Layne:

    TOTAL WIN FOR PRINCE OF DARKNESS TAG. My hard working co-workers and I are laughing very hard workinglike.

  16. Sara K. Smith

    [re=42175]RuperttheBear[/re]: Ha ha, Jim Newell is hard at work on this identical post as well.

  17. Combover

    [re=42197]blowhard[/re]: You’re not playing the game right. It has to be an orifice. ‘Can’t you read the signs, ear piercing!?!!??’ I don’t think this is coming together.

  18. TGY

    [re=42212]Sara K. Smith[/re]: Great minds think alike. Or small minds seldom differ, whichevs.

  19. Mahousu

    [re=42198]dcgrrl[/re]: Actually, I’ve been thinking it over, and I think this is like one of those gangster movies where they all start taking each other out towards the end. Next, we’ll see Condi caught in some sort of prostitution scam, David Addington will be informed on and arrested for money laundering, Bob Gates will wake up with a horse’s head in his bed …

    Nothing will touch Cheney until the final, ambiguous, scene, though.

  20. itgetter

    This made me almost as gleeful as the news that Dick Cheney shot an old man in the face. Why do the Republicans hate old people so much, and is this why they hate their own presidential nominee? Watch out John McCain!!!

  21. Mr. Herpes

    Forget the citation and hit-and-run violations. Bobbie boy was “shaken” because he can forsee the CIVIL suit that is going to take that black ‘Vette of his and give it to the victim, who just happens to be a lawyer. To quote Flounder — This is soooo great.

  22. sezme

    And then Novak and droogie Chip Pickering went off to the milk bar to celebrate another spree of ultraviolence.

  23. shortsshortsshorts

    As someone who knows a few of his relatives, I can say he’s not really “liked” in the fam. “Liked” at all, actually.

  24. Paultardville

    Well, if the evil conservative douche “journalist” gig doesn’t work out, he’s now qualified to work for FEMA.

  25. Iggy Plop

    can we finally beat Novak to death with his own cane? i mean, come on, it’s so overdue.

  26. Doglessliberal

    [re=42188]Christastic[/re]: you know, you might be right. he surely can find a lawyer in this town to rep him in that case.

  27. PioBaroja

    Boy, when Bob Novak throws somebody under the bus, he really throws somebody under the bus! Wokka, etc. I envision that when Cheney is no longer Veep, they will have some sort of “Most Dangerous Game” weekend on an island somewhere off the cost of Kennebunkport, where they sight in their guns on the elderly.

  28. Doglessliberal

    [re=42202]Aurelio[/re]: yeah, he’d probably have offered more as a bribe to make it go away.

  29. Scarab

    Novak’s Corvette was chased down by a bicycle?
    Oil prices may not be why Detroit is losing money.

  30. Doglessliberal

    [re=42219]Mahousu[/re]: I was thinking he might be on the payroll of oil companies and hired to take out people who bike to work.

  31. freakishlystrong

    [re=42211]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Then I insist you check out the ALT tag on the photo..a doozy, and I’m not even trying to not laugh…Jesus…

  32. Gopherit v2.0

    Is everyone sure Novak was driving? I would have assumed he’d have backed over a victim. You know, just to be sure.

    Okay, now for the mental image of the day: Sorry, King of Douchebaggery, no more road head for you if you can’t look out for
    pedestrians.

  33. Aurelio

    [re=42185]edgydrifter[/re]: From the article: “[Bono] said he chased Novak half a block down K Street, finally caught up with him and then put his bike in front of the car to block it and called 911. Traffic immediately backed up, horns blaring, until commuters behind Novak backed up so he could pull over.” Bono has more balls than I do. Or maybe he didn’t know he was dealing with the devil himself.

  34. ReelectTilden

    Shouldn’t car accident stories be about Lindsay Lohan or something? DC really is Hollywood for ugly people.

  35. KeithinWash

    Given a ticket? That’s all? In Washington State that is a felony hit and run injury accident case. He puts a guy in the hospital and just gets a ticket. Any other regular Joe would have gone to jail.

  36. Studge

    Someone needs to tell Robert Novak not to mistake Jimi Hendrix lyrics for driving instructions:

    You jump in front of my car when you,
    You know all the time that
    Ninty miles an hour, girl, is the speed I drive
    You tell me its alright, you dont mind a little pain
    You say you just want me to take you for a ride

  37. S.Luggo

    [re=42277]KeithinWash[/re]: We are dealing with DC, where assualt within an AK-47 amounts to violation of the noise ordinance.

  38. Advocatus_Diaboli

    It would figure Novak drives a Corvette: Not one of the great ones like the Stingray from the 60′s, but a wholly ineffectual, overly-designed, useless piece of Detroit shit that can’t hold a candle to any real sportscars today.

  39. RobPetrified

    Novak was driving an AMERICAN car.
    Bono was probably riding a French bicycle.
    Who are you gonna believe, a cheese eating surrender monkey,
    or one of Tom DeLays close personal AMERICAN friends?
    Damn jaywalker.
    [/sarcasm]

  40. lumpenprole

    At least it was a corvette, ideally shaped to scoop up and discard a pedestrian a few feet in either direction. (I actually had this happen to me once.) Had he been behind the wheel of an SUV… thunk, squish.squish.

  41. freakishlystrong

    What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
    With a Corvette, the prick is on the inside.. tada!

  42. Doglessliberal

    [re=42289]S.Luggo[/re]: maybe in your DC, but I have seen people ticketed for jaywalking and littering here, they boot cars for being parked too close to a corner, and be sure not to get towed for parking in a street-sweeping zone during the wrong hours because you might never see your car again. Hitting a liberal traitor who hates America because he rides his bike and does not burn gas is, however, A-OK if you are an Evil Repubican Gnome.

  43. iLLiaC

    Upon regaining consciousness, the victim was reported to have said, “Now where is that marvelous ape?”

  44. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=42277]KeithinWash[/re]: You forget that that is the OTHER Washington. And anyway, in Seattle we have the famous rabbi who hit several bicyclists but never had his license taken away until he finaly smashed into and killed a pedestrian.

    The police out here, I tell ya. Well, and there.

  45. bamaboy

    Shit, when I got a dui, I paid $1,000 and got six months suspended and I didn’t hurt anyone.

  46. DangerousLiberal

    I read this first line as “Already known as the worst, meanest coach in wherever the hell he is now” after I saw the picture of Larry Brown you have posted.

    What’s all this twaddle about some Novak guy, again?

  47. Matthew Crunt

    Hey look, this tired shriveled-up prick of a homo (sapiens, that is), is another ass-wipe taking up space. It won’t be long until…..WAIT, HE HAS CANCER OF THE BRAIN!! There is a God! Well, the surgery will obviously be microscopic. Hope his surgeon is a right wing nutcase who graduated from a South American “medical school”. Please God, let him die bfore he can vote for McNutt! Please, oh please. I promise I won’t mention Laura Bush killing her boyfriend, again!

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