Wonkette
How the hell does John McCain get away with saying this today: “I had the courage and judgment to say that I would rather lose a political campaign than lose a war. It seems to me that Sen. Obama would rather lose the war in order to win a political campaign.” How does that even make sense? Let’s imagine hypothetically that we are fighting some war in which “winning” and “losing” are the actual, real-world options. Barack Obama actively wants to “lose” this war! This Obama greaseball goes around saying he wants to be president, yet he knows so little about Foreign Policy that he believes the president should declare wars, and then work to lose them. [YouTube]
Next he’ll say something asinine like “I’d rather be right than president” and we’ll all be, like, “Ok, John, knock yourself out.”
Hey Gramps, what’s your timetable for victory in Vietnam?
Obvs. Henry Clay said it better and shorter.
WALNUTS! would know because he lost Vietnam.
Poor WALNUTS. Barry stole his thunder and now he has to fake meetings with Mittens and the Exorcist.
Hey Walnuts! Why not both?
It must be true because WALNUTS has never, ever wanted to be President before, right? Like ever? What a man of integrity.
Fighting Bill: NoWireHangers: HA! HA HA HA!!!!
What kind of jackass pats himself on the back and tells himself that he has courage?
Walnuts, show us your flying skills by piloting your campaign plane.
There should be a law protecting our senior citizens from embarrassing themselves. Are these his daughter’s great-grandsons in the back? What a shame that they stand serious-somber there instead of walking him take a nap.
He gets away with it because when he says it, no one bothers to punch him in the throat.
Someone should inform the McCain people that of they don’t want their candidate to look like a crazy old man, he should say crazy old man stuff.
But seriously, we must EXIT THE CRIMEAN PENINSULA WITH HONOR.
Oh,my, you could just feel the excitement in that room. Especially when he forced his lips back up over his teeth, a la Mr. Ed.
NoWireHangers: I think he was talking about losing the nomination to Abe Lincoln so we could win the Civil war.
although, i still support texas’ plan to secede. Florida can go too.
So does McCain think Obama’s already making policy? He hasn’t beaten you yet, Grampa.
I want to go to a party at the McCain ranch, and stay until I’m the very last guest, and then start cooking something on their massive gas grill, then set it on fire, then catch their house on fire, and then smash a few windows and destroy some furniture trying to put it out — and when they finally ask me to leave, I’ll refuse because they don’t understand the situation on the ground, and dammit I came here to win this cookout, not to lose it. And since I’d rather be right than invited back, I’ll stay until the McCain ranch is nothing but a few piles of charred, smoking rubble. Then I’ll build my own house on top of their demolished one, send them a bill and throw myself a parade.
Anything else would be cowardly.
Supporters of McCain who don’t think he’s like Bush should think about how long that trademark Inappropriate Shit-Eating Grin will start to wear on them.
So, he’s going to lose the war… as a Senator from Illinois? Man, he’s powerful. I’m sure all the generals he’s talking to this week will just do EXACTLY what he tells them and run for the hills screaming like little girls.
Sheesh, John… nothing like admitting you’ve already lost.
McCain complains that the media is biased towards Obama, then he says retarded shit like this. Believe me, John, if they really didn’t like you, they could take your own words and put you in single digit polling territory. Look at Dubya, ferchristsake.
Stroking my Freudian beard ever so gently, I propose that Herr McCain has never really wanted to be president, which is why he’s been shouting for years now that we have not enough soldiers in Iraq to do the job. And then he promises to keep America there until the next century if necessary. Never have I seen such a case of self-destructive, stop-me-before-I-fuck-my-mother behavior since Gary Hart dared the national press corps to follow him and then headed straight for the SS Monkey Business where he planted the seductive Miss Rice firmly in his lap for the photographer. Ach! Sadly, we can expect even more bizarre behavior from Sen. John before November to guarantee he doesn’t get stuck in the White House.
Well, to be honest Barry did propose that all the military’s bullets be replaced with daisies and tanks switched out for unicorns. That’s not ch-ch-change we can believe in!
He should just stick to calling Cindy a cunt. He won my vote with that, but now this shit is making me reconsider.
Off-topic, but Drudge is saying the National Enquirer “Catches” John Edwards at the Beverly Hilton. What the hell does that mean? Do they have something more on him and Rielle? Has anyone heard anything?
Oh, and McCain is a D’Bag.
Dear Jim,
If you had crashed 5 planes, gotten denied promotion to Admiral, and ended up married to an oxycontin addict-cunt, you’d be a little cranky, too.
Signed,
WALNUTS
i like how he smiles after he says it.
El Bombastico:
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/sen_john_edwards_caught_with_mistress_and_love_child_in_la_hotel/celebrity/65193
It reads like some of Wonkette’s finest.
Aurelio: He crashed 5 airplanes? Did that make him a Commie Ace?
You lost the only war you were in, you witless old fool.
The young lad with the long neck attached to McCain’s right should for most of the clip bears a striking resemblance to Timothy McVeigh.
Gopherit v2.0: Ah, I see now. If I were writing it, I would have had the protagonist hide in a janitor’s closet, not a bathroom. Reads better.
Remember the Swiftboat MacKerry and Precedent G.W. Shrub debates, when Shrub had that box of Kleenex strapped onto his back under his jacket and the spinning heads were speculating on, Was it a black box from 9/11? I think McSame’s got something implanted into his bulging cancerous jowl, some weird wired thing that only Saint Romney has the password. This would explain the Isadora Duncanesque marionette arm movements of Walnuts! and his wacky stream of consciousness gaffes.
I seem to recall that fighting a losing war to win a presidential campaign worked pretty well in ‘04. Is McCain trying to alienate his base too?
I’m not even going to watch this clip. WALNUTS! makes me feel a sense of urgency to ending my life. I’m going to go back and stare at pictures of Obama’s ass now.
columnv: Yeah, what’s up with the smile? Doesn’t it just scream out: “my aides worked real hard to come up with some catchy line where I sound tough and turn a phrase, almost like I have a rhetorical bone in my body, and these sycophants I’m speaking to really like it … maybe I should think about getting Jesse to help me on my next speech, and I’ll try some alliteration.” He’s so pleased with the crowd response that he can’t keep the “I’m now doing my tough rhetoric” face plastered on. Maybe Cindy should get him some botox.
Just look how he smirks after delivering the line that some political hack wrote for him. You can actually see him think, “Phew, I didn’t screw that up, I’ve got to use that line again.”
What a jackass.
Seriously, this shit is impossible to believe unless you *want* to believe it. Lucky for McCain, that’s just the situation he can bet on from his voters anyhow.
It looks like he’s trying to imitate W’s world famous chimp smirk. Not pretty.
Perhaps McCain’s remarks were mistranslated.
PortlandSmartAss: Hopefully he has a better poker face as a president (I said poker, not pock marked).
Did sumbuddieeeee miss their nappytime???
Ohhhh…
Diaper issues.
Right on. Forgiven.
He had the courage and judgment to go along with the herd. That’s fucking fantabulous. Nothing I like better than a presidential candidate who has the same stunningly accurate judgment as Chimpy.
How come there’s so many empty seats behind Victory and Honor? And that grinning grimace…he *musta* been tortured by the Islamo-Vietnamese terrorists, that’s a look of pain, not happiness. Poor Juan!
He’s grinning because he made it through that whole soundbite without saying “Grood Evening”.
Well, of course Shorty’s gonna get it all mixed up…he’s married to alien reptile Diana from “V: The Series”….
http://shesoghetto.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/cindymccain_full.jpg
http://laweekly.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/v_diana_2_1.jpg
Stop beating on McCain! I hear he’s about to issue a major position paper on the Barbery Pirates crisis very shortly.
McFlapface actually thinks this is a war to be “won”? This proves his complete ignorance in foreign policy. It’s a 5000 year old tribal cluster-fuck which nobody will ever “win”, and he wants to stay in the middle of it because he thinks it makes him “presidential”. I think it was Cindy who married a cunt.
“We will have victory in Iraq when there is a McDonalds in every village and a Starbucks on every corner.”
Of course Obama wants to lose all the Bush wars. It’ll make selling all white women to bin Laden for crack money that much easier.
GlennBecksTaint: Look here, we’re not leaving Iraq until we get ALL of our oil out of there!
GlennBecksTaint:actually, there will only be victory when Heidi “horseface” Monstag & Spencer Bratt are Hottest Blond babes of Baghdad..
PortlandSmartAss & columnv: God, that smile is creepy. He accuses Obama of being incompetent then rambles on about how smart and god-like he is in a war setting but then manages to destroy what little gravitas he has by smiling because he’s obviously so proud at delivering his line correctly. How the hell does this man have a political career much less get re-elected?
Given the choice between losing the war and losing a political campaign, McCain is going to take both.