ha ha ha ha ha ha

John McCain Complains About Media Love For Another Candidate With Gay Song Contest

Sweet criminy, did Juan McCain send out a hot e-mail this morning or what: “It’s pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it’s a love affair. We want you to be the judge. We’ve compiled two videos of the more outrageous moments of this not so secret love affair.” Indeed, it’s very similar to the “secret love affairs” that John McCain had during his first marriage, and more recently too, and also with the media.

They are having a video contest — a contest between videos of Media Love For Obama — and it’s, hmm, the most secretly gay thing of… today! So far. The videos each compile clips from MSNBC and other networks of Chris Matthews saying he likes, who is it again, oh right, Obama. How does John McCain have the courage to wake up any given morning, knowing that Chris Matthews will his support his opponent at some time during the day?

Hey, wasn’t the McCain campaign not going to bitch about the media’s interest in the young, inspiring, unknown first Muslim candidate over him? That was a good strategy, we thought. If the media didn’t already have the biggest boner for John McCain, and actually decided to look at him objectively, they could pretty much destroy any chance of him winning in a few 2-hour news cycles. The media are blatant whores for each of these candidates — one because of white guilt, another because he gives them lollipops on his bus.

Hey Barack Wanna 69? [John McCain]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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64 comments

  1. El Bombastico

    So stupid. Keep prodding the beast, John… we’ll see how many first-wife and vicodin stories pop up in the next two weeks.

  2. Serolf Divad

    OMFG, John McCain… fire your ad guys RIGHT NOW!

    Seriously, this ad makes me want to pull the lever for Obama almost as much as the “Yes We Can” video.

  3. bernadette

    Thanks for taking my tip Wonkette. I couldn’t help but laugh so hard I spilled my coffee this morning.

  4. Squiggyfm

    Of course! Bring up the fact that everyone loves your opponent. There’s no WAY this’ll backfire.

    Kudos Johnny.

  5. EnBuenOra

    You know, McCain always took the media for granted. Sure, he fed them BBQ, gave them dry rubs (?), let them sit in cute areas on his bus, invited them out to various of his many houses, told salty stories and off-color jokes…

    …but after a while they could tell he was just using them, manipulating their almost worshipful love for him just for his raging electoral needs.

    It’s hardly surprising that the media might begin to cast their eyes elsewhere, and John McCain being the hateful, jealous creep he is, is this close from screaming at the media in public that they’re some c*nts painted up like trollopes!

  6. SuperRounder

    How about “Take A Chance on Me” by ABBA? WALNUTS will cream his depends when he hears that.

  7. irisheyes

    Oh My God These Fucktards Make Me Crazy. It’s like watching a campaign being run by chipmunks. With Down’s Syndrome. Who thought it was a GOOD idea to plaster the face of the OPPONENT all of the front page of the website?! And then..and then, to play compilations of laudatory comments about said opponent. This twitchy little ferret proves himself to be even more incompetent with each news cycle. It’s stunning, really. I am so very tired.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    It’s no wonder they’re picking on McCain over little issues like his inability to tell whether Iran is majority Sunni or Shiite, or the fact that he knows nothing about economics, or that he thinks we should stay in Iraq even if Maliki and a majority of Iraqis want us to leave — can’t we talk about the important stuff, like who wears a flag pin?

  9. RuperttheBear

    [re=41183]EnBuenOra[/re]: That comment started off like a semi-serious trollster, then morphed into a useful observation, and closed with “c*nts painted up like trollopes.” It gave me the thrills of well-played misdirection, a Wonketteer sleight of hand. Bravo!

  10. ManchuCandidate

    John McCain’s You Oughta Know

    I want you to know, that I’m happy for you
    I wish nothing but the best for you both
    A blacker version of me
    Does he make sauce like me
    Would he let you ride on his campaign bus
    Does he speak eloquently
    And would he make your babies
    I’m sure he’d make a really good president

    Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
    To make it enough for you to be on my side, no
    And every time you speak his name
    Does he know how you told me you’d sell me
    Until you died, till you died
    But you’re still alive

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the sauce I made that I made for you
    You, you, you oughta know

    You seem very well, things look peaceful
    I’m not quite so young, I thought you should know
    Did you forget about me Mr. MSM
    I hate to bug you in the middle of flying
    It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
    Are you thinking of me when you love him

    Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
    To make it enough for you to be on my side, no
    And every time you speak his name
    Does he know how you told me you’d sell me
    Until you died, till you died
    But you’re still alive

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the sauce I made that I made for you
    You, you, you oughta know

    Cause the joke that you put to sleep that was me
    And I’m not gonna fade
    As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
    And every time I run my tongue up Faux Newz Net’s veiny dick
    I hope you feel it…well can you feel it

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the sauce I made that I made for you
    You, you, you oughta know

  11. irisheyes

    Okay, the least we can do is vote: early and often. Let’s pick one version and just keep voting. Let the Old Man think people actually give a shit. I mean, it might be the only contest in which he sees a win.

  12. pierce bottoms

    when they kiss john’s ass it is because of that ‘straight talk.’ when they fawn over obama, it is because they have caught teh gay.

  13. Texan Bulldoggette

    Well, now he knows how Mrs. McCain #1 felt when he left her for a new, fresh (albeit filthy rich) face. Also, I wonder if McMaverick knows about ASCAP (older than “the Google”)–those people get pissed off if you use their songs without permission.

  14. loquaciousmusic

    “I Touch Myself” would be Obama’s new campaign song, if I had anything to do with it.

  15. NoWireHangers

    [re=41196]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yeah, you win, but would Barry go down on the Media in the Straight Talk Express, because WALNUTS! totally would.

  16. magic titty

    Is his new song “I Know It’s Over” by The Smiths?
    Does it signify the end of this bummer of a campaign?

    “Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head…”

  17. accidental_tourist

    McCain is a conceited bastard, for sure. That’s why the younger, better looking, more financially savvy Mitt Romney of the glorious good hair can kiss any VP delusions goodbye. Looks like it’s gonna be Bobby Jindal after all. Or a really good lookin’ woman to teach that cunt trollop Cindy a lesson!

  18. trh

    [re=41177]bernadette[/re]: Sent this in as well. Really was a great opening to my mailbox this morning. Normally I delete them, but something about the subject, “The media is in love.” just caught my eye.

  19. Schadenfried

    [re=41204]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I think “Do it ‘Til You’re Satisfied” would also be a good choice.

  20. Big Al1317

    Hey McLame, here’s a line from a song from the Fugs first album:

    My baby done left me.
    She’s gone to the movies with another guy.
    And I feel like home made shit.

  21. PrairiePossum

    Hey Johnny, I have a theme song for you…

    “Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven” by John Prine

    But, your flag decal won’t get you
    Into Heaven anymore.
    They’re already overcrowded
    From your dirty little war
    Now Jesus don’t like Killin’
    No matter what the reasons for.
    And your flag decal won’t get you into Heaven anymore.

  22. pierce bottoms

    [re=41253]Big Al1317[/re]: i believe he courted cindy to the tune of ‘coca cola douche’

  23. Darehead

    Sheesh, McCain, have you been infiltrated with Paultards?
    The media ARE in love with Barack Obama.

  24. gjdodger

    I’ve got one for you, McAncient: “Here’s a Quarter–Call Someone Who Cares.”

  25. weirdiowasculpture

    What McCain needs is Karl Rove and Dick Cheney in blackface minstrel outfits singing “In De Ebenin’ By De Moonlight.” This would secretly remind the media that Obama is black, and poof!– there goes the love affair.

  26. PioBaroja

    Chocolate City
    Uh, what’s happening CC?
    They still call it the White House
    But that’s a temporary condition, too.
    Can you dig it, CC?

    To each his reach
    And if I don’t cop, it ain’t mine to have
    But I’ll be reachin’ for ya
    ‘Cause I love ya, CC.
    Right on.

  27. Lazy Media

    [re=41191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OBAMA wears the flag pin now. McCain, not so much. I swear to God, McCain has been sandbagging for eight years, pretending to suck up to Bush, just to see a liberal Democrat come in and erase Bush’s legacy in six months.

  28. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=41191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: NO no, those are just informalities. It’s all about empty statements and meaningless back stabbing. Not “issues” or “assfucking,” as it should be.

  29. AxmxZ

    The McCain operative who came up with the brilliant idea of subliminally flooding the voters’ synapses with “Love” and “Barack” is clearly in David Axelrod’s pay.

  30. AxmxZ

    There’s only one real song deserving of winning this contest: Carla Bruni’s “Le Plus Beau de Quartier.” Not only is it perfect for Obama, but it’s in elitist French!

  31. bernadette

    [re=41246]trh[/re]: I got this sent through an Obama list-serve. I guess someone in the group subscribes to McCain’s new ventures and schemes, mainly for comic relief. Does the trick.

  32. columnv

    [re=41176]Serolf Divad[/re]: I agree. Who watches that and goes, “Man, Barry sucks.”

  33. bernadette

    In a recent poll, 77% of the voters (who were all women) said they’d rather make out with hot, scrumptious, Barack Obama. My question is, what the hell are those otehr 23% thinking? I’m sorry… hot, young, sexy Barack…. or Walnuts?

  34. Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    I love it…Whitey uses soul music to poke fun at sourpuss Abraham Osama bin Bama, king of Afghanistan and Irak. Why not?

    Personally, I get a shiver up my leg every time Tweety Bird swoons over Barry’s long, lean, muscular, uh, personality…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m9Gbb6NSwM

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