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HA HA HA HA HA HA

John McCain Complains About Media Love For Another Candidate With Gay Song Contest

Sweet criminy, did Juan McCain send out a hot e-mail this morning or what: “It’s pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it’s a love affair. We want you to be the judge. We’ve compiled two videos of the more outrageous moments of this not so secret love affair.” Indeed, it’s very similar to the “secret love affairs” that John McCain had during his first marriage, and more recently too, and also with the media.

They are having a video contest — a contest between videos of Media Love For Obama — and it’s, hmm, the most secretly gay thing of… today! So far. The videos each compile clips from MSNBC and other networks of Chris Matthews saying he likes, who is it again, oh right, Obama. How does John McCain have the courage to wake up any given morning, knowing that Chris Matthews will his support his opponent at some time during the day?

Hey, wasn’t the McCain campaign not going to bitch about the media’s interest in the young, inspiring, unknown first Muslim candidate over him? That was a good strategy, we thought. If the media didn’t already have the biggest boner for John McCain, and actually decided to look at him objectively, they could pretty much destroy any chance of him winning in a few 2-hour news cycles. The media are blatant whores for each of these candidates — one because of white guilt, another because he gives them lollipops on his bus.

Hey Barack Wanna 69? [John McCain]


12:40 PM on Tue July 22 2008
By Jim Newell
3942 Views

  1. Gopherit v2.0 says at 12:45 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Why not “To Young to Fall in Love” by Motley Crue?

  2. El Bombastico says at 12:45 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    So stupid. Keep prodding the beast, John… we’ll see how many first-wife and vicodin stories pop up in the next two weeks.

  3. Serolf Divad says at 12:48 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    OMFG, John McCain… fire your ad guys RIGHT NOW!

    Seriously, this ad makes me want to pull the lever for Obama almost as much as the “Yes We Can” video.

  4. bernadette says at 12:49 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Thanks for taking my tip Wonkette. I couldn’t help but laugh so hard I spilled my coffee this morning.

  5. RuperttheBear says at 12:50 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    HA HA HA HA HA. I bet McCain will get a big laugh over this at his next barbecue.

  6. Squiggyfm says at 12:50 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Of course! Bring up the fact that everyone loves your opponent. There’s no WAY this’ll backfire.

    Kudos Johnny.

  7. Serolf Divad says at 12:50 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    By the way, here’s a good Love Song For John McCain.

  8. NoWireHangers says at 12:51 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    “I won’t be IGNORED, Media”

  9. EnBuenOra says at 12:51 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    You know, McCain always took the media for granted. Sure, he fed them BBQ, gave them dry rubs (?), let them sit in cute areas on his bus, invited them out to various of his many houses, told salty stories and off-color jokes…

    …but after a while they could tell he was just using them, manipulating their almost worshipful love for him just for his raging electoral needs.

    It’s hardly surprising that the media might begin to cast their eyes elsewhere, and John McCain being the hateful, jealous creep he is, is this close from screaming at the media in public that they’re some c*nts painted up like trollopes!

  10. SuperRounder says at 12:53 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    How about “Take A Chance on Me” by ABBA? WALNUTS will cream his depends when he hears that.

  11. irisheyes says at 12:53 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Oh My God These Fucktards Make Me Crazy. It’s like watching a campaign being run by chipmunks. With Down’s Syndrome. Who thought it was a GOOD idea to plaster the face of the OPPONENT all of the front page of the website?! And then..and then, to play compilations of laudatory comments about said opponent. This twitchy little ferret proves himself to be even more incompetent with each news cycle. It’s stunning, really. I am so very tired.

  12. Paultardville says at 12:53 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Totally in the tank, just ask The New Yorker.

  13. tunamelt says at 12:54 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    This is the pot calling the kettle black.

  14. Okay, McCain is clearly gay for Obama… I don’t even see the strategy here. WTF?

  15. GlennBecksTaint says at 12:54 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    and Mitt Romney weeps with envy

  16. SayItWithWookies says at 12:56 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    It’s no wonder they’re picking on McCain over little issues like his inability to tell whether Iran is majority Sunni or Shiite, or the fact that he knows nothing about economics, or that he thinks we should stay in Iraq even if Maliki and a majority of Iraqis want us to leave — can’t we talk about the important stuff, like who wears a flag pin?

  17. RuperttheBear says at 12:57 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    EnBuenOra: That comment started off like a semi-serious trollster, then morphed into a useful observation, and closed with “c*nts painted up like trollopes.” It gave me the thrills of well-played misdirection, a Wonketteer sleight of hand. Bravo!

  18. PioBaroja says at 12:58 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: That’s not racial transcendence!

  19. user-of-owls says at 12:59 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: That’s not transcendence we can belieeeeve in!

  20. user-of-owls says at 1:00 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    PioBaroja: oh, poo…damn stubby fingers.

  21. ManchuCandidate says at 1:00 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    John McCain’s You Oughta Know

    I want you to know, that I’m happy for you
    I wish nothing but the best for you both
    A blacker version of me
    Does he make sauce like me
    Would he let you ride on his campaign bus
    Does he speak eloquently
    And would he make your babies
    I’m sure he’d make a really good president

    Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
    To make it enough for you to be on my side, no
    And every time you speak his name
    Does he know how you told me you’d sell me
    Until you died, till you died
    But you’re still alive

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the sauce I made that I made for you
    You, you, you oughta know

    You seem very well, things look peaceful
    I’m not quite so young, I thought you should know
    Did you forget about me Mr. MSM
    I hate to bug you in the middle of flying
    It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
    Are you thinking of me when you love him

    Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
    To make it enough for you to be on my side, no
    And every time you speak his name
    Does he know how you told me you’d sell me
    Until you died, till you died
    But you’re still alive

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the sauce I made that I made for you
    You, you, you oughta know

    Cause the joke that you put to sleep that was me
    And I’m not gonna fade
    As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
    And every time I run my tongue up Faux Newz Net’s veiny dick
    I hope you feel it…well can you feel it

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the sauce I made that I made for you
    You, you, you oughta know

  22. irisheyes says at 1:01 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Okay, the least we can do is vote: early and often. Let’s pick one version and just keep voting. Let the Old Man think people actually give a shit. I mean, it might be the only contest in which he sees a win.

  23. Translation of that website:

    “Wahhhh! I left the country, too, and nobody cared! All those mean media guys do is show pictures of him! This whole election, it’s just a popularity contest! I wanna be president!”

    See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veruca_salt

  24. pierce bottoms says at 1:04 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    when they kiss john’s ass it is because of that ’straight talk.’ when they fawn over obama, it is because they have caught teh gay.

  25. Doglessliberal says at 1:08 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Jungle Love, of course.

  26. Texan Bulldoggette says at 1:10 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Well, now he knows how Mrs. McCain #1 felt when he left her for a new, fresh (albeit filthy rich) face. Also, I wonder if McMaverick knows about ASCAP (older than “the Google”)–those people get pissed off if you use their songs without permission.

  27. loquaciousmusic says at 1:11 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    “I Touch Myself” would be Obama’s new campaign song, if I had anything to do with it.

  28. NoWireHangers says at 1:11 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: Yeah, you win, but would Barry go down on the Media in the Straight Talk Express, because WALNUTS! totally would.

  29. tunamelt says at 1:13 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Fever, Jungle Fever.

  30. magic titty says at 1:16 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Is his new song “I Know It’s Over” by The Smiths?
    Does it signify the end of this bummer of a campaign?

    “Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head…”

  31. Doglessliberal says at 1:18 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: I was thinking of this, for the monkey sounds theme:

    http://video.yahoo.com/watch/18967/1095856

  32. topshelfdogfood says at 1:19 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    McCain should go with some classic Journey.

    Who’s whining now?

  33. accidental_tourist says at 1:20 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    McCain is a conceited bastard, for sure. That’s why the younger, better looking, more financially savvy Mitt Romney of the glorious good hair can kiss any VP delusions goodbye. Looks like it’s gonna be Bobby Jindal after all. Or a really good lookin’ woman to teach that cunt trollop Cindy a lesson!

  34. tunamelt says at 1:22 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Oh, okay. I was thinking of this.

  35. Scarab says at 1:27 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Neil Young’s ‘Old Man’?

  36. Schadenfried says at 1:31 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Squiggyfm: Jusk ask Hillary…

  37. bernadette: Sent this in as well. Really was a great opening to my mailbox this morning. Normally I delete them, but something about the subject, “The media is in love.” just caught my eye.

  38. Schadenfried says at 1:32 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: I think “Do it ‘Til You’re Satisfied” would also be a good choice.

  39. Doglessliberal says at 1:35 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: either will work!

  40. Big Al1317 says at 1:37 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Hey McLame, here’s a line from a song from the Fugs first album:

    My baby done left me.
    She’s gone to the movies with another guy.
    And I feel like home made shit.

  41. PrairiePossum says at 1:54 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Hey Johnny, I have a theme song for you…

    “Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven” by John Prine

    But, your flag decal won’t get you
    Into Heaven anymore.
    They’re already overcrowded
    From your dirty little war
    Now Jesus don’t like Killin’
    No matter what the reasons for.
    And your flag decal won’t get you into Heaven anymore.

  42. pierce bottoms says at 1:55 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Big Al1317: i believe he courted cindy to the tune of ‘coca cola douche’

  43. Darehead says at 1:58 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Sheesh, McCain, have you been infiltrated with Paultards?
    The media ARE in love with Barack Obama.

  44. gjdodger says at 2:02 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    I’ve got one for you, McAncient: “Here’s a Quarter–Call Someone Who Cares.”

  45. sanantonerose says at 2:04 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Why do you build me up
    Buttercup baby
    Just to let me down…

  46. sanantonerose says at 2:06 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    gjdodger: Ouch. Travis Tritt. Nice.

  47. weirdiowasculpture says at 2:11 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    What McCain needs is Karl Rove and Dick Cheney in blackface minstrel outfits singing “In De Ebenin’ By De Moonlight.” This would secretly remind the media that Obama is black, and poof!– there goes the love affair.

  48. PioBaroja says at 2:27 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Chocolate City
    Uh, what’s happening CC?
    They still call it the White House
    But that’s a temporary condition, too.
    Can you dig it, CC?

    To each his reach
    And if I don’t cop, it ain’t mine to have
    But I’ll be reachin’ for ya
    ‘Cause I love ya, CC.
    Right on.

  49. Lazy Media says at 2:32 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: OBAMA wears the flag pin now. McCain, not so much. I swear to God, McCain has been sandbagging for eight years, pretending to suck up to Bush, just to see a liberal Democrat come in and erase Bush’s legacy in six months.

  50. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:38 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: NO no, those are just informalities. It’s all about empty statements and meaningless back stabbing. Not “issues” or “assfucking,” as it should be.

  51. el_chupacabra says at 2:38 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Tucker Carlson speaks for me.

  52. The McCain operative who came up with the brilliant idea of subliminally flooding the voters’ synapses with “Love” and “Barack” is clearly in David Axelrod’s pay.

  53. There’s only one real song deserving of winning this contest: Carla Bruni’s “Le Plus Beau de Quartier.” Not only is it perfect for Obama, but it’s in elitist French!

  54. bernadette says at 2:51 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    trh: I got this sent through an Obama list-serve. I guess someone in the group subscribes to McCain’s new ventures and schemes, mainly for comic relief. Does the trick.

  55. bernadette says at 2:52 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Darehead: As a professional journalist I praise you.

  56. Aurelio says at 3:03 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    The Daily Show made the same point as the McCain ad in its ‘Barack Oboner’ bit here:
    http://rawstory.com//news/2008/Daily_Show_reporter_Obama_gives_me_0722.html

  57. uncletravelingmatt says at 3:24 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Vietnow.

  58. Wait, isn’t Barry a crypto-terrorist-muskrat?

    Muskrat Loooooooooove!

  59. bernadette: Same reason I subscribe :)

  60. columnv says at 3:52 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    Serolf Divad: I agree. Who watches that and goes, “Man, Barry sucks.”

  61. bernadette says at 5:12 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    In a recent poll, 77% of the voters (who were all women) said they’d rather make out with hot, scrumptious, Barack Obama. My question is, what the hell are those otehr 23% thinking? I’m sorry… hot, young, sexy Barack…. or Walnuts?

  62. Sabre_Justice says at 6:45 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    These guys never get the backlash they deserve.

  63. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 7:15 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    I love it…Whitey uses soul music to poke fun at sourpuss Abraham Osama bin Bama, king of Afghanistan and Irak. Why not?

    Personally, I get a shiver up my leg every time Tweety Bird swoons over Barry’s long, lean, muscular, uh, personality…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m9Gbb6NSwM

  64. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez says at 8:38 pm, July 22nd, 2008

    “To Sir With Love”.

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