Wonkette
- The decade-long manhunt for Serbian war criminal Radovan Karadzic came to an end when he was discovered living in Belgrade. He disguised himself for 13 years by cutting his hair and growing a beard. [New York Times]
- A military judge presiding over the trial of Osama bin Laden’s former driver will not allow some evidence that was obtained under duress in Afghanistan. Stuff the guy said in Guantanamo is fair game, though, as long as the interrogators testify about the conditions he was questioned under. [Washington Post]
- Senator Jack Reed is a little fellow from Cranston, Rhode Island who might be our next Vice President. [Wall Street Journal]
- John McCain keeps saying old-people things, and people are wondering if his age has anything to do with it. [Politico]
- Will Barack Obama be able to solve the Israeli-Palestinian problem while he’s abroad, and if he can’t, is that a sign he’s not fit to be Commander in Chief? [The Caucus]
- The jumper at the Hart Office Building (a serial jumper, it appears) came down from his perch without incident at 2 am this morning. [The Hill]
DAILY BRIEFING
How is one a serial jumper? Seems to me that once you actually jump, that’s pretty much it for your jumping career.
Damn librul military judges and their no information collected by electrodes on testicles ban. Jeebus, the terrowists win when you can’t torture the suspects. But he did say that Guilliani time (aka household objects shoved up anus) is still okay as long as its plungers and not baseball bats.
“…came down from his perch without incident at 2 am this morning.”
Thanks for the clarification that “2 am” still occurs during the “morning.”
I will file this useful information in my folder marked “Department of Redundancy Department.”
Sweet SKS, I worry that you’ve been reading too many AFA protests and their malady is in some way infectious.
Godless Liberal *:
easy.
first floor and cellar windows.
re: cellar. slight misnomer. crawler more accurate.
Queen Rania. Tah-Dow.
July 23, 2023
NEW YORK — Donald Rumsfeld, one of the world’s most wanted war criminals until his arrest for treatment of prisoners in Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib, breaching the Geneva Conventions and the United Nations Convention Against Torture, and also under arrest for engineering a “war of aggression” on Iraq, had been living and working freely in New York as practitioner of alternative medicine, American authorities said Tuesday.
Mr. Rumsfeld had lived under the alias Dragon Rummy and had adopted a “very convincing” false identity, authorities said.
The details were the first to emerge since his arrest was announced.
“How convincing his false identity was, we can tell you that he has been freely walking in the city, being very public about his appearance. Even the people he rented an apartment from were unaware of who he was.”
The officials gave no details of the continuing hunt for Mr. Rumsfelds’s wartime ally, Former President George W. Bush, who is also being sought for trial in The Hague.
Godless Liberal *: What? Somebody jumped off a building and landed in cereal?
tsunami: Then that leads to my next question, how does one garner attention for threatening to jump from a first-floor window? Does one perch at the edge of the sill and call out loudly, for all to hear, “Woe is me, my life is pain, I am destitute and shall end it all by crushing these posies planted ‘neath this window! I may even twist my ankle; please pay attention to me!”
Once you’ve got to be talked down from your second building roof, fuck it. Next time you’re getting pushed.
Canuckledragger:2 a.m., yes, but it was “this morning” as opposed to “that morning,” or “another morning,” and furthermore, 2 a.m. is not morning in some other continents, and of course if you are incontinent, it does not really matter if the morning is here or there, since, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Godless Liberal *: You probably didn’t expect an answer, but here you go, complete with video:
http://improveverywhere.com/2005/12/10/suicide-jumper/
Darehead: Say what? That kind of talk is confusing to John McCain.
Canuckledragger: Oh for heaven’s sake. The phrase is “this morning“.
We don’t write “at 2 a.m. today” because it seems jarring, and so we use the phrase ‘this morning’ in its place when indicating the day in took place on relative to today’s date. Are we ok with that now? Hmmm? Can we all turn the page now?
Maybe Bush should send the Serbs to look for Osama bin Laden.
Godless Liberal *:
hilarious.
but it happens in all walks of life. perfect example: my brother, the suicide bomber and
family screw-up. so far, 3 assignments, no fatalities.
“i can’t. these explosives make me look fat.”
“a grey robe? you expect me to wear grey”?
“geez. i hope nobody gets hurt.” [that's the one that really pissed-off ali and
got him sent home.]
anyway, anybody can screw up anything. [but we still love him.]
Cindy McCain: “John, are you sitting on the apple pie?”
John: “I sure hope so…”
Darehead: At first glance, I could have sworn you were reporting Rumsfeld’s pseudonym to be “Dragon Bunny.” I now propose that we make that his official Wonkette name.
Finding Karadzic was made easier by the trails of blood left by the bodies dragged to his house.
After all that electrocution and waterboarding, I bet Osama’s driver is looking forward to a nice, quiet trial and execution.
BobLoblawLawBlog: “Dragon Bunny” or “Dragon Rummy”? Either way, we just don’t snark about that dude often enuf, now do we?
BobLoblawLawBlog:
I prefer McNamara the 2nd.
The American Apparel girl is pretty, but someone please tell her to stand up straight. She’ll get stuck in that slouched posture, and then she’ll be sorry.
Kingbee: She’s feeling a little unbalanced after taking her purple slim slacks off, and anyway if she stands up straight her womanly parts will cause that little black string to snap.
When are they going to pick up Barack Obama’s driver? I mean, they are one and the same, right?
Darehead: Priceless! Being serious for just a second–I hope Rado gets the red hot poker in the ass special in Hell, right after El Diablo is done with Jesse Helms.
Yawn. Somebody in the Senate building made a dramatic statement, then flip-flopped when it turned out to be unpopular? So what you’re saying is, it’s Tuesday.
Hey Sara, thanks for the headline reference to Larry McMurtry’s last good novel.
Suicide Chump
You say there ain’t no use in livin’
It’s all a waste of time
‘N you wanna throw your life away, well
People that’s just fine
Go ahead on ‘n get it over with then
Find you a bridge ‘n take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first time
‘Cause nothin’s worse than a Suicide Chump
You say there ain’t no light a-shinin’
Through the bushes up ahead
‘N we’re all gonna be so sorry
When we find out you are dead
Go head on and get it over with then
Find you a bridge ‘n take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first time
‘Cause nothin’s worse than a Suicide Chump
Now maybe you’re scared of jumpin’
‘N poison makes you sick
‘N you want a little attention
‘N you need it pretty quick
Don’t wanna mess your face up
Or we won’t know if it’s you
Aw, there’s just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?
Go head on ‘n get it over with then
Go head on ‘n get it over with then
Go head on ‘n get it over with then
Go head on ‘n get it over with then
Zapppa
Swim girl looks like she’s asking a question.
Maybe she wants to know where her HAIRBRUSH is! (I know, I know, it’s a “look.”)
Still, she’s way better than Purpie-Butt.
The old “disguised as an old Jewish man trick.” Works every time.
As far as Radovan hiding out in plain sight, where better to hide a tree than in a forest?
I hope he doesn’t pick Reed. There’s nothing funny about Reed.
…Santa Clause is a war criminal? Those are some seriously bad-ass elves.
Mahousu: Unfortunately, I don’t have a copy of the video, by some friends of mine and did this back in the ’80s, only with a 6-story apartment building where neighbors were nice enough to let us use their balconies on the 6th, 5th and 1st floor (the one my buddy lived in).
So we got some pretty good shots of Ron teetering on the handrail on the top floor balcony (that part was actually kinda dangerous) and some pretty funny dialogue.
One of the helpful crowd of friends below, yelling up encouragement to convince Ron to re-think his suicide plan:
Helpful Friend: “Ron. C’mon man …it’s, it’s just nuts. You’re not crazy person Ron, you’re a great guy!”
Ron: “Oh, you just shut up, you … you … you so-called friend who sleeps with my wife!”
2nd Helpful friend (offscreen): “And mom too.”
Ron: “WHAT!?”