Wonkette
Last week we discovered the website “Boycott McDonald’s,” an American Family Association initiative that criticizes McDonald’s for one time giving some gay thing $20,000 to make an ad or whatever BACKING THE FULL GAY AGENDA. We showed a litany of samples from the site’s comment section, and it was very popular, so now we are going to post more funny comments from it. At least 8 of the top 10 funniest things on the Internet are comments from this website.
- “I HAVE EATEN MANY,MANY TIMES AT McDONALDS, BUT I HAVE HAD MY LAST!!”
- “I`m sorry that you have made the decision that heterosexul folks such as i are not welcome in your resturants any longer. i will not argue your decision. By giving your resturants sapport to the homosexual groups you have told me my believes and lifestyle are not yours and i`m not welcome in your resturants anylonger.”
- “We will be patronizing Whataburger and others from now on. We are disappointed with your supportof gay marriage. Cliff & Jana Maples”
- “I am appaulled at your support for such action and will now have all family members and church associates (about 5000 of us) to boycott all eating at McDonalds until it hurts your position financially and you change your direction just as we did with Ford Motor Company recently. We will ’show you’ who has the ‘majority oppinion’ on this issue in America Today ! ! !”
- “Sorry, but my shadow will no longer cross the threshold of the golden arches. Good bye. I need to lose weight and save money. This is just the impitous I needed.”
- “I recently saw two young teenagers making out. I figure McDonalds is no longer my kind of place. I think the sixteen year old worked there.”
- “McDonald I am a regular customer in your store but I will not be eating in your store any more because of your open support of gay. I am a christianand God says they are an Abolition and God will deal with them. joyce”
- “I will not support a company that becomes political.”[Does he live off the land, then? -- Ed.]
- “FOR SHAME !!!!!!!! The Bible STILL STANDS !!!!”
- “Since you have decide to support homosexually totally and their Sodom and Gomorrah life style. This has given me an extremely good reason to stop the purchase of any of your food items from McDonalds as of today. I also have a very active Blog site and I will post data about your support of the homosexual gay agenda.“
- “My family & I will not be eating at McDonalds as long as your position about support for the Homosexual agenda remains the same. I will also suggest members in my congregation boycott you as well. Rev. Jim Berlin Chillicothe Free Methodist Church Senior Pastor jberlin@we.rr.com”
- “My family of 8 eat at Mcdonalds at least 3xs a week. We discontinue this until McDonalds removes its endorsement and remains neutral.”
- “I have 5 days a week my house filled with children of various age and many days it’s Mc Donalds for dinner due to time restraints. NOT ANY MORE. I will not spend my hard earnd money to support a group of people that is trappling my beliefs and leading our futur generations in to a lifestyle that will kill them. I will not come and spend a dime there nor will I let any of my friends or aquaintends do so. what ever I can to stop this support of nglcc I will do. Children are too precious to be perverted like that. one of many who still have a sense of morality”
- “YOU DID NOT BILD YOUR COMPANY ON HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE! IT WAS BUILD ON FAMILY VALUES! MAN,WIFE.CHILDREN!MOSTLTY CHILDREN! THEY DON’T COME FROM HOMO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And those are the best comments… from the bottom 5% of this website.
Comments [Boycott McDonald's]
Come for the fries, stay for the man on man blumpkins.
And wtf: a family of 8 eats there 3 times a week?
Mmmm…Quarter-pounder with cheese, large fries, and, to make it more healthy, a large Diet Coke.
MAN,WIFE.CHILDREN!MOSTLTY CHILDREN!
So what’s on the homosexual value today??
1. Destroy American Values
2. Have buttsecks all over the interwebs.
3. Buy a Big Mac.
It’s a tall ticket, but I think teh gehz can do it. Go get ‘em gehz.
Oh Noes… McDonald is an Abolition!
Ooh, bad move with the e-mail address, Reverend Jim Berlin. Hope you like Truck Nutz testimonials.
Are these the same people who insist that if you come to America you should learn English?
“My family of 8 eat at Mcdonalds at least 3xs a week. We discontinue this until McDonalds removes its endorsement and remains neutral.”
…and widens their front door.
On further consideration, this sucks. Anything that could potentially makes white trash live longer is a bad thing.
shortsshortsshorts: homosexual agenda*
not VALUE.
/fixed.
No self-respecting gay man would eat at McDonalds. The lesbos, that’s another mater.
Also, why they hell does MSNBC replay Hardball one hour later? Also, Steve Hayes has been drinking. I’m loving it.
this was a funny response I saw:
http://pinkomag.com/2008/07/16/two-all-beef-daddies-special-sauce-let-us-please/
Hey, McDonald’s also has LATTES and FRUIT! They are also backing the latte-drinking, vegan, liberal agenda! *gasp!*
I love how they always throw in some number to try and be impressive, while letting another number slip out that looks pathetic (i.e. litter size or times/week of eating there).
“My kidz and wife (total of
belief in pig fat an’ grease an sugar water! We go burger tyme 4evs now til you stop support teh gay!”
I get it, they’re boycotting McDonald’s. Are they boycotting Strunk & White too?
Hey Jim, did THEY bold the “aquaintends”, or was that your doing? Are they proud of creative spelling or something? Do they just think those little red underlines of words as they type are for decoration?
“I have 5 days a week my house filled with children of various age and many days it’s Mc Donalds for dinner due to time restraints. NOT ANY MORE. I will not spend my hard earnd money to support a group of people that is trappling my beliefs and leading our futur generations in to a lifestyle that will kill them. I will not come and spend a dime there nor will I let any of my friends or aquaintends do so. what ever I can to stop this support of nglcc I will do. Children are too precious to be perverted like that. one of many who still have a sense of morality”
What? This is like, somewhere between English and some kind of futuristic bastardized space-alien language.
Ohhhhhh man…. I ate at the McDonalds across the street in honor of buttsecks last week. Much like homosexuality I ended up with a really sore ass.
Sounds like this guy might be able to clue us in about the gay agenda:
Rev. Jim Berlin Chillicothe Free Methodist Church Senior Pastor jberlin@we.rr.com
Anybody willing to inquire please keep me posted.
Please tell me that when progressives post protest comments the ratio of sense & grammar to outrage is higher than what these people have managed. I felt like I was back in the classroom trying to decipher first grader’s writing.
“My family of 4 already has been boycotting McDonald’s because of this issue that came up several months ago. This is a responsible thing to do because we are responsible with where we put our money.”
And that’s why we regularly used to eat at McDonalds. I’m sure they will now only dine at Ruth’s Chris or the Palm.
SuperRounder: Nice.
karenThomas222: Why did you do that?
popsicle schitk: we beter so much lol I CANT BELEIV HOW bad they r
McDonalds needs to buy ad space on this site.
I think GWIM would make her a tad hotter
I recently saw two young teenagers making out. I figure McDonalds is no longer my kind of place. I think the sixteen year old worked there.
OMG THE TEENAGERS ARE BEING PROMISCUOUS! ALERT THE BLOGOSPHERE!
“I recently saw two young teenagers making out. I figure McDonalds is no longer my kind of place. I think the sixteen year old worked there.”
“McDonald I am a regular customer in your store but I will not be eating in your store any more because of your open support of gay. I am a christianand God says they are an Abolition and God will deal with them. joyce”
Those two may be my new favorites. Short, subtle, but still able to demonstrate sheer ignorance and stupidity.
Unfortunately, it’s getting harder and harder to force my aquaintends to eat where I tell them. Oh no! It’s getting harder and harder! Dammit, McDonalds, now you’ve done gone and made me gay. In the future I will be ordering my Big Macs without the special sauce.
Wait until they discover that McDonald’s also supports the black agenda http://www.365black.com/365black/
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: I think they know.
wait until they find out that Wendy loves the ladies….
and, didnt they used to refer to the Santorum as a ‘whopper’
These fuckers know they can spell check shit like impitous and acquaintends on the intertubes, right? Christ, even their misspellings were ‘wrong’. Though trappling should be a word.
“Pa, where’s our fishin’ rods?”
-Over by the trapplin’, son.
“Gee, thanks!”
Okay, I couldn’t resist. I Googled “gay agenda” and found the Wikipedia page. It lists some interesting facts about homosexuals that are listed by anti-gay fundies. One statistic caught my eye- between 70 and 75 percent of gay men regularly ingest fecal matter. So they do eat at McDonalds after all.
Four separate comments had the same unusual misspelling of “appalled” or “appalling.” I’m thinking that one crazy ass winger (with fairly weak grammatical “skilz”) is inflating the comment count.
SayItWithWookies: SayItWithWookies: You’re on a roll!
“Wendy’s in Booneville,MS, looks better and better@”
Yes, it sure does.
Brutus Harlot: Promoting the Black agenda. That’s disgusting. I will take my family of 15 and go somewhere where they think of the men, women, and children, but MOSTLY CHILDREN.
More from the site:
“My family will not patronize your restaurant until this support of the gay agenda is terminated. I’m sorry to hear this because McDonald’s was one of my favorite and most-visited fast food eating places.”
They’re so broken up. I’m fairly certain this person was crying while writing this.
Also, have you noticed, it’s not just a ‘gay agenda’ anymore. it’s a ‘homosexual gay agenda’. which is obviously both. and worse.
“I am a christianand God says they are an Abolition and God will deal with them. joyce”
Why are the most retarded conservative females always named Joyce?..
All this hoo-hah about the gay agenda is a lie! I went to my McDonalds and asked the cute guy clerk with the pierced nose if he wanted to give me a rimjob and all he did was call the cops. They didn’t want to give me a rimjob either. But God, they looked good in those uniforms.
There’s more:
“Somehow the thought of Ronald McDonald in a gay pride parade doesn’t go over well. Keep McDonald’s neutral!”
Disagree!
AxmxZ: In honor of the parents’ favorite novelist it sounds happy!
“SoHIS is the secret sauce? No thanks!”
OH, so close to a really funny comment from the bitters! Our poor comedian was felled by an inability to figure out the difference between “backspace” and “shift”.
Cliff and Jana Maples hate teh gays? I was on the fence on this issue, but now I’m sold. Fuck you, McDonald’s!
“I had craving a McDonald’s ice cream cone recently, but I’m now dedicated totally to this boycott.”
don’t they know it’s gay to be retarded?
Jobbotch: Um, this was supposed to be a bit of strikethrough humor. But since the tags didn’t work, now it just looks… Joycean.
“because McDonald’s had taken a stand to support the activist gay agenda that is destroying the core of family values in the U.S. we will take a stand to support McDonald’s competitors such as In-n-Out and Chick fil-A.”
I detect an insurgent in the comments…
Wow, pitting my love for fatty and fried foods against my hate for the gays. If only a guy on a tractor could write a song to help me decide.
Well, if they knew Burger King was ripping off the poor illegal immigrant workers by refusing to pay an extra 10 cents per pound on tomatoes they would go there instead.
I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER? NO! TEH GEHZ HAZ CHEEZBURGER.
I CAN HAZ KINTUCKY FRYED.
Cicada: Someone needs to start a LOL Bitterz site.
If “trappling” isn’t a word, it sure as hell should be.
Spence: that’s what i said!
I figure the part of the Bible that condemns poor spellers is toward the end, where it talks about not judging others and loving your neighbor. These people just haven’t read, or been read to, that far.
I HAF BIN CRISTIANED MOST OF LYFE ADN HAS ATEN YUR FOUD FASTER WITH SUPERSIZED SO I NOT AFRAYED TO SPEND THE MONIES. BUTT, NO MOOR. YOO HAS THE GAY HOMOSECKSYOOALL FERRY ANGINA IN MYND FOUR ALL US, AND I NOT SUPPORT, OR YOO. YOO LEAD TO DETH WITH ANYL SODOMIE HOUR KIDZ, WITCH WURST TO ABORSHUN, CUZ THAY ALYVE AND YOU MAYK DED.
SO, NO MOOR SUPERSIZED FOUR MEE. NOW I ONLY EET TEH BUGGER KING’S WAYLONG CHILLYDAWG AND TRIE NUT THIN’KIN UV GAY HOMOSECKSYOOALL FERRY ANGINA OF YUSE NO MO. AND I TILL TIN THOUZIND FIENDS THAY BITTER KNOT GEEV YOO THAY MONIES OR I WIL BEET DEM UPP WIT UDDER TIN THOUZIND FIENDS I HAF.
YOO BEE SO SORRIE WEN YOO IS BNACRIPT FOUR TEH GAY FERRY HOMOSECKSYOOALLZ.
SINGED
Prof. Oral Schvantz
Rejent U.
KevoTron: Jimbo doesn’t know just how many 419 emails will be coming his way.
El Bombastico: I just sent him my info on Truck Nutz and the big sales to be had therein.
SuperRounder: Well played.
We donut like teh gayz!
sined,
teh tardez
Cicada: You mean this isn’t the LOLZ Bitterz site?
“We will ’show you’ who has the ‘majority oppinion’ on this issue in America Today ! ! !”
“America Today” as a proper noun makes me damn proud to be an American. TODAY.
I’ll bet this guy; Senior Pastor jberlin@we.rr.com” received some eye opeing emails. Or maybe that was his motivation for publishing his email address. As far as the “special sauce” goes…where do you think the 16 yr old kid unloads after humping his colleague in the parking lot. Read Portnoy’s Complaint?
blowhard: McDonald’s also advertises in Mexican in my neighborhood, and most of their employees speak English and Mexican. I am going to take my business to Taco Bell.
Shoney has the best restrooms for sex imo.
MOSTLTY CHILDREN!
Best.
As a red-blooded straight American, I have been creaming out gap-toothed rednecks at a rate somewhat more than 1 every nine months for the last 20 years. My house, a nightmare brood of dozens of serial arsonists, flowbee coiffed goons and my various pregnant daughters, find it necessary to eat at McDonald’s as a group 6 times a day. But due to your unbiblical stance on the Gay, we shall now be eating at that buffet thing in the back of the K-Mart. Sincerely, Belinda Terwilliger.
Years of inbreeding and home schooling. Fourteen little windows into the hellish dimension of the slack jawed Jeebus follower. Although death is a tragedy, it may come as a blessed relief to a person trapped in—The Twilight Zone.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if the gays single-handedly cured obesity by getting all the fast foods to support their agenda?
I wonder how many of the McDonalds protesters would realize that they practice sodomy, if they actually figured out the definition of the term?
pinko-commie: You do realize that sex is a sin if the woman is not lying on her back motionless, probably thinking about her grocery list, right?
I hear tell the D.O.T. also pander to the homersexuls, so you Valu Minded real Americans should also stay off roads. Expeshially freeways. Its right there in the name: FREEways (wink wink) free like as in the gays.
Save the America! Dont drive on the freeways or you will be a gay!
Gosh darn-it. I’m gay and ever since this boycott began I’ve been taking up the slack so to speak, having a Big Breakfast at 9, Big Mac meal at 12, and 2-4 trips after that for $1 double cheese’s and Oreo McFlurry’s, eating while I drive. But now I can’t get laid - and am becoming a self-loathing fat fag. I’m also bitter and thinking about getting a gun.
The history books of the future can now credit McDonald’s for re-unifying the religious right after its post-W-administration demise. Of course, the real beef patty for the neo-fundie/Constipatriots isn’t just the Sodomites, but the fact that Mickey Dees hires immigrants, some of them illegal, and gives them social security numbers as well!
It’s the NAU, amigos.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080716223606.okp0nvxp&show_article=1
“jberlin@we.rr.com”
Looks like I’ve got a new email address to use for porn sites…
“We will ’show you’ who has the ‘majority oppinion’ on this issue in America Today ! ! !”
Relax with the exclamation marks, buddy. And it’s called USA Today.
“I will not spend my hard earnd money to support a group of people that is trappling my beliefs and leading our futur generations in to a lifestyle that will kill them. I will not come and spend a dime there nor will I let any of my friends or aquaintends do so. ”
First I thought the ‘lifestyle that will kill them’ was to stuff their faces with huge helpings of greasy shit. Apparently I was wrong.
so, eating at a place that is at the seething heart of obesity epidemic in the country who have a pederast clown as a marketing tool is a-okay with Jesus, but not if they support teh gays, huh? You white trash types confuse me.
OK, click on the link for the “letter to the AFA”, and you’ll see that Mickey D’s has a position in its org chart called “Chief Diversity Officer”.
This, coming from a company whose primary goal is serving up uniformity. Go figure.
KevoTron: I agree with the sore ass. I might now be more likely to help the gehy cause by trying but-secs as big-macs cause diarrhea.
Alright, which of you Wonkette editors is a closet fundie?
“Since you have decide to support homosexually totally and their Sodom and Gomorrah life style. This has given me an extremely good reason to stop the purchase of any of your food items from McDonalds as of today. I also have a very active Blog site and I will post data about your support of the homosexual gay agenda.“
This is the best one: “I recently saw two young teenagers making out. I figure McDonalds is no longer my kind of place. I think the sixteen year old worked there.”
The sheer depth of awesomeness in this comment leaves me speechless.
“Homosexual gay agenda?” I’m now quite curious about the hetero gay agenda. Do they get “honorary gay” status or something?
TEH GAYZZZZ!!! OH NOES!!!!!!
Recently, McDonald’s began a new dress code requiring all men to work in drag. Or so you’d think, reading these comments.
This is EXACTLY why I’m leaving the country with my husband to backpack around the world for a few years.
They plan to boycott until McD’s offers Traditional Family Value Meals.
As a hetrosexual male, I strongly support the homersexshual cause. I don’t need any more competition.
Go Ronald!!
I just had lunch at McDonalds and I can report that it was NOT AT ALL FABULOUS. So don’t worry, there isn’t very much gay there yet.
shortsshortsshorts: You forgot “4. Mandatory Abortions for family valued americans” … and “5. Sneak more hot illegal latin lovers from Mexica”
For those interested in the gay agenda, I found a place which has it for sale. And at a very reasonable price, too!
His name is Cliff Maples and he says he’s not gay?
Wait til you get a load of this:
“The AFA also maintains a news website that attracted notoriety this month for its policy of automatically replacing the word “gay” with “homosexual”. Thus was Olympic sprinting hopeful Tyson Gay unwittingly renamed Tyson Homosexual, to the mocking delight of many liberal bloggers.”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/jul/15/usa.mcdonalds
Oh Nos! Intertube technologisticses strike again! I sense a AFA boycott of the Internets on the horizon, since it is so obviously a gay plot.
If it helps hasten the Apocolypse, I am going to get a Big Mac now (which I will probably throw in the garbage).
jagorev: I swear, I thought she was eighteen.
The gay agenda raped my grandmother and ate my dog. Because your company supports the gay agenda, and by proxy the raping of grandmothers and consumption of canines, I cannot be a patron of your restaurant anymore. You may now find me at the Burger King, which has promised in writing not to rape my other grandmother or eat my new dog. Good day, sir.
I’m an “abolition”?
Are you kidding me? Check out this poetic - or rather, rhymed - paean to the evils of McD’s buggery:
“McDonald’s is not my kind of place, for God they have disgraced. No more purchases of hamburgers or fries to support the spreading of lies. What happened to your values - or has it been contaminated by your revenues. McDonalds your arch is not so golden and I am disappointed that corporate sponsors have allowed this action. Thank God there are other fast food establishments to support.”
Precious, that. Also:
“What’s next, are they going to support NAMBLA? What about beastiality? Am I really being riduculous?”
Also…
jeez. There’s just too many of them. Thank you wonkette: that site is pure gold. Can this be a regular feature? Please?
>> My family of 8 eat at Mcdonalds at least 3xs a week. We discontinue this until McDonalds removes its endorsement and remains neutral.”
It figures that Catholics would have loved McDonald’s, before it went gay on them. If you buy into the whole ‘wafer is the actual body of Christ’ deal, you can easily believe that a McDonald’s burger is made from real cow.
“You need to change your gay position..”
Great idea, we might try the Tallahassee Reverse Bucking Bronco Surprise next time. Thanks for the helpful relationship advice, AFA!
Oh my God! MickeyD’s boycotted by (say) a thousand people out of the Fourty-Seven Million fucking customers they serve daily around the motherfucking world! How *WILL* they survive??? Tune in tomorrow for the completely predictable results!
Did somebody not get fries with their Happy Meal(TM)?
grevillea: Haha! A lot of them also say, “Change your stance…” Maybe it’s not wide enough to see the foot tapping.
oh, all bolding was done by ME, arbitrarily. sorry.
They put sesame seeds on their buns, and then spooge on their special sauce. Eww.